


Oh God What A Nerd

by HedonistInk, Heikijin (Nnai)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anonymous Sex, Anxiety, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intercrural Sex, Light Bondage, M/M, Rimming, Underage Drinking, jean starts off 17 so just fyi on that, kpop!marco, mentioned jeanconnie, nerd&kpop au, nerdy!jean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-24 12:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 113,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6154158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedonistInk/pseuds/HedonistInk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nnai/pseuds/Heikijin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirschtein is, to be blunt, an awkward nerd. Marco Bodt is a pop idol. But at Pseudo, where masks are the only required dress code, you can be--and do--anyone you want. But when that anonymous world moves over into the real life, things can get a little more... complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pseudo

**Author's Note:**

> So you guys have been waiting for this for long enough, probably! The nerd&kpop AU. FYI: 1, this was originally written in RP-format so keep that in mind when reading; 2, their setting is a quasi-fusion of elements of Korean, Japanese, and Western elements.

Jean felt his heart in his throat as he lifted his mask and flashed his fake ID to the bouncer at the door to  **Pseudo** . An anonymous club where the only required clothing was a mask and once inside the rest was optional. 

The bouncer nodded him in and Jean quickly tugged his mask back down and shoved the ID back into the armband on his bicep that held his inhaler and money in a zipped pocket. There was no way he was wearing a bag in here and his pants didn’t have any pockets, Pink and tight and riding low on his bony hips. They were held up by a thick black belt and studded straps circled his thighs - of course the spikes were rubber otherwise that could get pretty uncomfortable.

The bass of the music throbbed up through his feet and into his body as he bought a drink and drank down half of it as quickly as he could through a straw shoved under his mask. It wasn’t long before Jean had made his way through three cocktails and his yellow, sleeveless shirt was sticking to his body with sweat as he moved his pelvis to the beat of the music and watched various other couples doing obscene things to each other.

He had been here a few times, but hadn't been approached. That was perfectly ok with him but somewhat frustrating when you were seventeen, horny as hell and people all around you were stroking their junk or groping a handful of perky tit. Usually by this point he’d taken himself off to the toilets, and as a lesbian couple brushed past him with their shirts ruched up under their armpits and their hands down the front of each others skirts he groaned and decided it was probably that sort of time again.

Marco had spent the time since he arrived at the club moving from partner to partner. He danced and moved with them only long enough to work them up and leave them wanting before he gestured blowing them a soundless kiss with a small half-bow and disappeared back into the crowd. It had become something of a routine. He would say nothing, just approach them, work them up, bow out, and leave them wanting. They were all decent enough fun and the contact was dizzying and a rush but none of them really captivated him enough to do more than tease. It was a game for him to see how many people he could leave wanting before he needed to find release. Marco wasn't sure how much time had passed since he arrived but it was long enough that he had undone the first three buttons on the dark satin button down he wore. The metal studs across the tops of his shoulders and at the collar made the shirt sag open when he moved, revealing a well-toned chest. 

Catching a spark of bright yellow moving by him, Marco turned his gaze. He was shorter than Marco and incredibly almost unhealthily thin. But the way he moved was enticing and fluid. And he seemed to be alone at the moment. Marco turned quickly, reaching out to catch the man's shoulder lightly with a questioning gesture between them. Maybe, depending on how well the man danced, Marco had found his pick for the evening. 

Jean was about to make his exit towards the bathroom and another lonely night in a stall but he paused when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see who it was, the man making a gesture between them as if asking if it was ok to get closer. Instantly Jean felt his heart trying to break through the cage of his ribs and he gave a short but sure jerk of his head in a nod. The fact that he was  _ relieved _ that it was a man spoke volumes but he wouldn’t think on that matter until later on, because right now he had an offer and regardless of whether it was just to dance or to get off Jean was going to take it. He was tired of being alone in this place.

So Jean turned to face the other man - swallowing down his self-conscious shyness at the fact he had a visible boner already - and placed a hand on the stranger's shoulder as he started to move again. Jean was a surprisingly good mover despite being one of those lanky, geeky kids that everyone thought was useless and utterly unsexy. Perhaps with his mask off and in his normal clothes he  _ was _ unsexy, but right now and in this club where the music was loud and the bodies were hot he moved like liquid to the beat.

Marco's eyes cast down for a moment and he smirked beneath the horned gas mask on his face at seeing the obvious tent in the other's pants. That was certainly interesting. He had to stifle a groan beneath the beat as they started to dance. Marco's suspicion had been right, this guy couldn't just move, he moved very well. The beat thrummed through him, naturally guiding his movements. 

Drawing him in closer, Marco let his touches and movements grow more bold. He let himself move and sway, practised movements teasing not only with his hands but with his body as well. He couldn't help but notice how boney the guy was, a stark contrast to the years of routine exercise built onto his own frame. Marco almost worried he might hurt him if he were too rough. Not that he minded taking a bit of extra care, if anything it worked better for working people up generally. He grinned to himself before pulling the other in suddenly, grinding against him. 

Jean had to force himself not to move away as he realised just how  _ firm _ the other man was beneath his clothes, the bit of skin he could see peeking out from the other man’s shirt was thirst inducing and Jean licked his lips beneath his mask. He felt completely and utterly inferior but as they moved he couldn’t stop arching into the touches and sliding his own hands down the stranger's chest.

Then he was tugged in and the man was  _ grinding _ against him and Jean didn’t even try to stifle the gasping moan that rumbled out of him at the contact. Jean faltered in his movements, momentarily overtaken by the feel of another body against his that wasn’t Connie’s and he rolled his pelvis in response. Jean leaned his upper body back and rolled his hips again in a fluid movement that was only broken when the underside of his erection gained pressure to the very tip. He watched, looking down between them as the flashing lights illuminated the way their hips were grinding and  _ oh god _ Jean was so embarrassingly close to jizzing in his pants because he’d been ready to just rub one out already. 

He held the taller man’s biceps for support as he arched his back and tilted his head back, feeling his thighs tremble from the effort to slow down the impending orgasm. There was  _ no way _ he would allow this to be over so embarrassingly soon, he’d jerked off with Connie enough times that this shouldn’t affect him so much, damnit.

Marco shuddered slightly at how incredibly  _ responsive _ the other man was, the moan he had drawn out barely audible over the music. He was incredibly aroused, that much was obvious. But then again, so was Marco. He had lost track of how many times he had played his catch and release game that evening but he was more than ready to be done. But from the surprisingly desperate grip from someone so small as he trembled, Marco wasn't sure he'd even get to have his fun. 

Smirking under his mask, Marco pulled back until all he was touching was the other man's hand, tugging him gently towards the nearest wall. His intention was obvious, he knew. With any luck, this way Marco would at least be able to get them both off this evening. Rather than just his overeager partner of the moment. Still, his excitability was novel and refreshing and Marco could only assume he hadn't been doing this sort of thing for long. 

Jean felt a shameful whimper warble out of him when the man pulled away and he hoped to god that it was hidden beneath the bassline. But then he was being pulled towards a wall and all he could think of was how much he wanted to dry hump the other man against it. So he went along with the motion easily, spinning as they got close until his back came into contact with the hard surface and Jean arched his back against it in another undulation to the music.

Jean pressed a hand to the other man’s chest and slowly let it slide down towards his crotch, his skin pale against the dark satin of the shirt and  _ man _ the guys muscles felt amazing. Jean got all the way to the hem of the other man’s trousers before stopping, despite all of his bravado this really  _ was _ his first time touching someone else - his best friend didn’t count - and he hoped his pause seemed more teasing than shy.

Marco gave a small pleased hum when the smaller man backed himself against the wall. The movements of the hand trailing down his chest made him groan softly at the feeling of the fabric. He stilled for a moment when the other stopped, waiting only a beat to see if he would continue, quirking his head to the side slightly. He noticed the guy's posture was obviously apprehensive and grinned to himself. Obviously inexperienced. 

Instead, Marco took the initiative. He brought his hands down between them, fumbling with the frustratingly tight fabric of his pants to free his cock. He couldn't help giving it a quick pump out of reflex for the sudden relief of pressure, a low moan barely audible over the music. His gloved fingers moved quickly for the other man's pants after that, working his cock free in a matter of moments. He rolled his hips forward, grinding their bodies together expertly. 

_ Oh fuck!! _ Jean thought as the other man so easily whipped his dick out and gave it a stroke, he was thankful for the mask as he felt his face turn bright red and his eyes widen as he watched the stranger stroke himself with a quick pump of a hand. His ears and neck felt hot too, but there was no way he would think about whether his flush was showing there too because damn now the guy was undoing  _ his _ pants and Jean slammed his head back with a painful thud at the way their groins connected skin to skin.

His hand was still on the other man’s stomach, he other one slapping flat against the wall for some kind of support as he pushed back against the friction and felt his thighs twitch. His mask suddenly felt way too stifling, but he wasn't going to move it - despite being against the rules he wanted to remain unknown. Finally, Jean moved the hand from the stranger's stomach and gingerly wrapped it around both of their erections, squeezing them together with a silent prayer of thanks to his practice sessions with Connie as he jerked them together with a groan.

When the other man moved to stroke them, Marco gave a small shuddering moan. He moved a hand up to the wall beside the other's head, tipping his own face forward and down for a second to watch the way long slender fingers looked wrapped around them both. His hand felt slightly clammy from the heat--and likely his apparent nerves--but Marco wasn't in a position to complain, it had to have been better than the leathery feel of the fingerless gloves on his own hands. He moved his free hand to grip at the man's exposed hip where his shirt had ridden up slightly, pushing the fabric up farther and effectively trapping him between Marco's arms. 

A pleased growl resonated from his throat as he shoved a leg between his mystery partner's legs, spreading them to bring them closer as he angled of his hips to adjust. Marco's hips bucked slightly into the stranger's grip as he looked back up, looking into the blank expression of the mask in front of him. His breaths came hard and fast, the humidity of his breath stifling in the confines of his mask. It wouldn't take him long this late in the evening. 

Jean was aware of the way the other man’s hand came up to press against the wall, but he was focusing on his hand, moving it up and down and twisting just slightly as he neared their swollen tips because  _ fuck _ he was  _ so close _ and he almost didn’t care that he was probably going to finish first and in a stupidly small time. When he felt a gloved hand grasp his hip Jean tipped his head back again and groaned, a strong shudder rippling through him as he almost came right then and there.

Gritting his teeth he moved to look at the other man’s masked face, there was something erotic about  _ knowing _ he was being looked at too despite not being able to even see each others eyes through the dark mesh of Jean’s mask and the tinted glass of the others. 

Apparently that’s all it took for him and Jean lifted his leg to wrap around the other man’s hip as the hand that had been on the wall shot between them to cover the heads of their erections, just in time to catch Jean’s shuddering orgasm before it stained their clothes. He choked on a loud cry that made his voice crack as his body jerked and his hand faltered in its movements as their cocks became slick with his hot cum and Jean slipped a bit almost losing his balance. He’d not yet got the whole ‘remain standing when orgasming’ thing down.

Marco reveled in how easy it was to draw sounds out of the stranger, keeping his face close to hear as much as he could. He did his best to stifle himself to small moans and groans, keeping the curses and words that threatened to spill from his lips to only broken sounds. Maybe it was a bit paranoid, but he couldn't take the risk of someone recognizing his voice. His eyes scanned the blank expression of the mask, subconsciously committing it to memory. It was a simple design but somehow appealing. And oh  _ god _ his hand felt good.

The way the other man's voice cracked when he came was enough to draw another growl from Marco's throat. He kept the stranger from slipping with his raised leg pressed against him, ignoring the dull pressure of rubber spikes digging through his pants. Marco almost chuckled at how he nearly fell. Focusing back on his own needs, Marco slipped his hand from the man's hip to his own cock, stroking himself hard with more pressure. The sudden change in pace made him shudder out a moan. He was so close. 

A few more quick jerky movements and Marco lost it, tipping his head back with a broken moan as he came. His breaths came raspy and heavy through the distortion of his mask as he pulled back without a word, doing up his pants. With his trademark miming of a blown kiss and a small bow, he turned to disappear into the crowd. He gave an impulsive little wave over his shoulder before he headed off, making a quick line for the door. It was getting late and he had to be up early the next morning. 

Jean thought he could just cum again right then and there as the other man reached his peak. He watched the way he moved and wished to god he could remember the sound of that broken moan when he jerked off next. But then the guy was zipping up and moving away and Jean fumbled to cover himself with a humiliated yelp as he pulled his pants back up and stared dumbfounded through the dark mesh of his mask’s visor. He didn’t respond to the wave, holding his pants up took both his hands, but he wasn't sure he had the will to either.

When the man was gone, Jean zipped his pants up and stared at the floor, it had felt  _ amazing _ and he had  _ known _ this was how these things went here, but he still felt a bit of loss at how quickly the other man  _ fled _ . Jean felt a bit like a leper or something. 

With a soft grunt Jean stood and walked away from the wall and out of the club with a slight tremble to his step. He’d definitely need to work on his emotional issues if this sort of hollow feeling is what he’d be left with every time he had a fumble at the club. He was a guy, a teenaged  _ guy _ there was no way he should get all caught up in sappy pining or abandonment issues when he was playing the one night stand game.

\---

The week passed uneventfully for Marco. Between time spent rehearsing and time spent working out and practising choreography, he had little enough time to himself. Much less time to do what he wanted for himself or with whom he wanted. Which was why the next night that he could return to the club was a welcome break. He could let loose and not be himself. Just focus on the thrumming of the beat and drawing people in on an even playing field rather than people screaming and throwing themselves at him because of his name. 

Marco played his usual game as he always did. His game of drawing people in, riling them up, and disappearing without a word. But somehow, his mind wasn't focused on it. He couldn't just forget himself in it tonight. Instead, his eyes kept scanning the crowd for the mask from last time. He hated to admit that the sound of that moaning voice cracking had stayed with him. But it had. And he wanted to hear it again. And more. They'd gotten to do so little and he was curious if the stranger really just had that much of a hair trigger normally. 

Jean arrived later than usual, his mother had been home for dinner before she started her shift and they’d eaten together. Jean couldn’t even begin to get ready to leave until she’d left and he’d quickly fumbled into his mask, slicked his hair up with mousse and pulled on some tight, black PVC pants, his usual knee high New Rock boots and a baggy, neon green mesh shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror and then decided to add an X of shiny black duct tape across each nipple because he was still shy about his body even if he was daring to wear such revealing clothing. (Thank god for online shopping and his own bank card!)

Jean walked in and, as usual, headed straight for the bar to get something to drink. This week he decided on shots and stood whilst he downed four tequila’s in a row with a gag and a wince before quickly pulling his mask back down over his face fully. Once he’d done that Jean made his way to the dance floor and slid his way through the undulating bodies, cheekily grinding against a few as he moved because after the week before there was no way he was going home after a shame wank in a toilet stall.

Marco had what he was vaguely sure was his second--or was it third--girl of the evening practically humping his leg, clinging onto him and fondling him through his pants with suggestive little noises. She was  _ very _ drunk, he could smell it in the air between them, but he didn't care. It wasn't important. It wasn't like he was intending on fucking her anyway. 

That was when Marco spotted his target, the familiar mask appearing through the crowd. He waited, allowing the frenzied girl to continue having her way with him for a few more moments as he watched the stranger to be sure he was alone--which it seemed it was. But his attention wasn't on her anymore. He backed away with his familiar kiss gesture more hastily than he normally might have before turning and heading for where he had last seen the man. 

Tugging at the straps wrapped around his sweating arms, Marco wondered why he had thought that short sleeves and pleather arm warmers would have been any cooler than long sleeves. Instead, the shiny plastic material succeeded only in trapping the heat against his skin. But it kept him covered as much as he wanted to be so it would do. He reached out for the other man's shoulder as he had the time before, repeating his gesture between them. 

When Jean felt a hand on his shoulder his breath stuttered and he turned around to see the mask from the previous week, his heart  _ and _ dick throbbed in response and he couldn’t help smiling beneath his mask, shy and pleased. 

Jean took the hand that had been on his shoulder and laced their fingers, his other hand pressing against a toned chest and smoothing across it to latch onto a firm waist. He groaned softly at the feeling and began to dance as he felt his body responding purely due to their proximity and the memory of the week before, the PVC tight and restrictive already it was about to get a whole lot more uncomfortable. Shifting his weight Jean forced himself to move closer, pressing their chest together as the hand on the man's waist slipped to the small of his back and the one holding the stranger's hand moved so the other man was now cupping his ass. Jean hoped to god he wasn’t put off by that, he knew his body wasn’t exactly appealing.

Marco let out a pleased noise that he knew would vibrate through him when the other man responded so instantly. Something about the vague familiarity of this repeat performance had him shuddering at the contact, responding easily and melding their bodies together when he was giving the chance. His movements were more relaxed, more open, if only slightly. 

Marco had never deliberately sought out the same person twice, never bothered to memorize the details of their guise. He hadn't even honestly expected to remember it so well after that first night. Much less to find him again in the pulsating throng of bodies moving and grinding in the low light. But now Marco found himself looking at the details of the mask before him. Simple as it was, it was elegant to him. 

When the stranger pressed closer, adjusting their position so their bodies were pressed together, Marco groaned softly. He didn't hesitate for even a moment at the invitation, squeezing and fondling at the man's ass with an appreciative noise. God was this guy boney but there was still enough on him to knead and grope. It was enough for Marco's tastes anyway. He bucked his hips forward slightly with each movement, grinding them together teasingly. Marco's other hand moved to the other's hip, trailing along boney and exact lines as he dipped just the tiniest amount under the waistband, both an offer and a tease. 

Jean was biting his lip beneath the mask he was wearing as they pressed close and ground their hips together to the music. The hand groping his rear eagerly making him feel a little less self-conscious since the guy seemed to at least be able to tolerate it - and it felt  _ good _ being squeezed like that. Then there was a hand on his hip and fingers ghosting beneath the hem of his pants and all Jean wanted was for those fingers to be wrapped around his cock again instead… He’d never been good at patience.

Jean let go of the hand on his ass and used his now freed hand to grasp the other man’s wrist, pushing the hand teasing his waistline deeper, toward his quickly awakening dick. At least there wasn’t any underwear to get in the way or embarrass him. The song changed and the room darkened slightly, strobe lights flickering and making their movements seem stuttered but Jean could feel how fluid they really were, groaning as he pushed his groin up towards the hand more.

Marco chuckled lowly as his wrist was suddenly tugged at, urging him on. This guy definitely was eager. It took a bit of twisting his arm so the series of buckles wouldn't catch on the stranger's pants but soon enough he was able to wrap his hand around his cock. Marco gave a squeezing stroke timed with a grope of the ass nestled in his other palm. 

He found himself grinding his own already hard cock against the other man's hip and leg as they moved. It was good, but it wasn't enough. Marco still had strong suspicions about just how little experience the stranger had from how easily responsive he was. And something in him sparked at that, wanting to see how far he could push this guy. How quickly he could increase the stakes. And oh he wanted to hear that broken little noise again. 

Shifting himself slightly, Marco moved and swayed with the music for a moment before deciding to up their little game. The hand that rested on the man's ass, kneading at soft flesh, moved instead to his hip. Spinning him in one fluid motion, Marco readjusted their position so that he could instead grind himself against the guy's ass while stroking him. He rolled his hips slowly with the beat with a few well timed strokes to compliment his movements, leaving no doubt about just how hard he was as his cock ground against the other. A small needy groan slipped past his lips. 

When the hand wrapped around him Jean couldn’t help the muffled whisper of a moan that leaked from him, both hands grabbing at the other man’s waist. Knotting in the shirt over firm muscles for some form of support because  _ damn _ this is what he needed and he was fully erect within moments.

Jean let himself enjoy the sensations for a short while before almost clumsily moving his leg up against the hardness in the strangers pants, hot and thick and Jean shivered slightly at the memory of how good it had felt in his hand. Jean was about to slide his hand down to grope the man through his pants, but instead found himself spun around swiftly, a hand still wrapped around his dick but now his back was to the other man.

Jean muffled his gasp at the new position and hunched forwards momentarily in his embarrassment at how  _ good _ having a cock grinding against his ass felt, at how  _ vulnerable _ he felt in this position. But soon he was leaning back against the taller man and gasping in response to the noises he could barely hear over the loud pulse of the music, both hands slipping back to grab at the other man's ass eagerly and probably a little too hard, but Jean couldn’t help himself. Jean’s own pelvis was rocking and rolling to the music and the rhythm of the other man’s body now and his breath was coming in heavy, quick pants and gasps, his thighs slick inside the PVC pants from the heat.

Marco shuddered slightly at the exaggerated reaction he had drawn out. With that much of a response to his actions, Marco couldn't help wondering for a moment if this guy might actually even be a virgin. His cock throbbed in his pants at the thought. But no, surely no one like that would come here. One didn't just stumble onto an anonymous sex club like this as their first line of experience. Maybe he was just naturally responsive. Still, the idea of fucking someone like that, all easy reactions and sharp angles, was somehow appealing. 

Shoving the thought away, Marco focused on the feeling of his cock grinding against the stranger's ass. He moaned out at the insistent grabbing and groping his actions were returned with. Tipping his face forward slightly, he gave a shuddering groan as he picked up the force of his hip movements, slowing the movements of his hand. His hips rolled and shifted desperately in contrast to comparatively languid strokes as his other hand continued gripping tightly at the other man's hip. 

Jean’s breath hitched at the sound of the other man’s moans, oh god  _ that voice _ was like something out of his fantasies, it was hot and raw and somehow familiar but that was impossible, right? He leaned his head back as the man's thrusting became more forceful, but the hand on his cock had slowed and Jean whimpered, the noise drowned out by the thudding bass. 

Jean moved one hand from the other man’s firm ass - reluctantly - and grabbed the back of the stranger's head as he arched his back and dipped his head to the side, hoping he could be heard over the music. “D-don’t stop- ...harder... _ more _ ghhnn!” Jean spoke on a shuddering groan and his voice cracked around the words hoarsely. He started to move his hips more forcefully against the man behind him and then into the hand wrapped around his weeping dick. Jean’s pants were so tight, still done up, but the PVC was stretchy enough to allow their play.

Jean noticed a woman then - wrapped around the body of a highly intoxicated man - she was watching them and he felt himself becoming self-conscious again. She was very openly watching his crotch and Jean let go of the other man’s hair to fling his forearm across his face in embarrassment, despite having a mask on the action helped Jean feel less exposed and he choked on a stuttered moan as a jolt of pleasure throbbed through him.

Marco shuddered harshly at the sudden hand on the back of his head, forcing him in close enough to hear the other man's words. The way he sounded, voice hoarse and needy, made Marco groan in response, nodding his head dumbly in agreement. How could he argue with a tone like that? 

Before Marco could comply, the man was moving against him with more force, humping himself both back against Marco's cock and forward into his hand. "Oh god yes…" Marco found himself moaning the words despite himself and froze for a moment, hopeful that the thrum of the music and their volume would distort them enough. That was a slip, he knew, cursing himself. But something about this guy was just incredibly  _ distracting _ to his usual composure. He moved quickly, picking up his pace both as a compliance to the words and a distraction. 

His breaths came quick in shallow pants as their bodies ground together. If not for the heavy thumping pulse of the music, he was sure he would have lost his tempo completely. Marco didn't bother to try to stifle his small moans and groans as his movements became more disjointed. Surprisingly enough for him, he wasn't entirely sure he would last much longer. Not like this. Not with this guy pressed up against his pelvis, his boney frame providing a dizzying unrelenting pressure to his trapped cock. Marco slid his hand up and over from the stranger's hip, fingers sliding under his shirt and fanning out against the heated skin of his stomach. He was desperate for more contact; something,  _ anything _ to make it easier for himself to get closer to that edge. 

Jean heard the other man’s words, felt his stomach twist and knot and  _ fuck _ he was so close now, how the hell could this guy be so fucking hot to Jean even  _ with _ a mask on? Arm still flung over his face, Jean groped harder at the strangers ass with his other hand, all but writhing against him as their movements became more frenzied and he completely forgot about their captive audience.

When Jean felt the hand slide across his stomach he gasped and let out a low noise as his untoned muscles twitched, he’d be ticklish if not for the situation. “O-hoh gosh...Oh.. _ fuck! S-shit! _ ” Jean choked on the words as his body trembled and his legs felt like they were turning to jelly, he couldn’t stop himself from bending over, using the hand that had been covering his masked face to support himself by grasping his thigh - just above the knee. His top was ruched up slightly and his pants rode low enough now that the top half of his ass was showing.

Jean couldn’t stop himself from trembling all over now, far too excited to care that he was moaning loudly and broken enough to be heard over the music even a few feet away. His face and ears and all the way down the back of his neck was flushed with arousal and he twitched before choking on a broken sob of a moan as he came hard inside his pants so suddenly he couldn’t even give a warning. His knees sagged inwards and he had to grab the hips of the woman in front - now sans male companion - to stop himself from falling to the floor. Though she didn’t seem to mind, her manicured fingers wrapping around Jean’s lower arms in support though she didn’t attempt to join in any more than that - obviously one of the patrons more content to watch.

Marco bit his lip hard under the mask at the broken words. Gosh? Fuck, this guy really was a virgin wasn't he. His gaze fell down the other man's back as he bent over, taking in the all-too-inviting sight of the bared half of his ass. Sure he was boney but his ass also looked to be deliciously perky as a result. A sound somewhere between a groan and a growl resonated from his throat. 

And then the guy came, hot and sticky wetness coating his hand suddenly. It seemed like the other man couldn't even keep himself standing when he came, clutching onto someone else to just stay upright. He couldn't even handle himself?  _ Definitely _ a virgin. Marco lost it at that, rutting himself hard and fast against the stranger's ass a few more times. He kept his head down, gaze focused on the tempting skin in front of him, as he muffled a shuddering moan as he came. Mess in his pants be damned, he couldn't resist. He wanted too badly to cum pressed up against the other man. 

Marco's breaths came in heavy pants, audible through the mask with an odd distortion. He pulled his hands back after a brief moment, guiding the other back towards standing on his own two feet. Again, he was struck by the odd feeling that he wanted to do this again, to do  _ him _ again. To do  _ more _ with the other. Marco wasn't usually one to even pay attention to which mask was which as they all blurred together in the crowd and yet here he'd gotten off with the same guy twice in a row and wanted to do it more. 

Jean groaned again, hoarse and broken as he felt the other man continue to rut against him before feeling the unmistakable tremors of an orgasm rip through the stranger.  _ God _ that felt good, knowing that he was the cause felt even  _ better _ . 

When he was helped upright the woman let go and blew him a kiss before walking away, Jean barely registered it but managed to give a feeble wave of his fingers as he stumbled slightly before catching himself. Jean was still gaining his breath but at least his legs felt like they could hold his weight again now and he turned to face the man in the devil gas mask, trying not to look nervous even though he felt like his heart was rammed into his throat.

He stood awkwardly for a moment, the man wasn’t leaving like the last time… why? Not that Jean was complaining, in fact he delighted in it, but at the same time he had no idea what the other man was thinking and he was shit at reading body language. Jean stood motionless for a beat before sucking in a deep breath and fumbling in the strap pouch on his arm for his phone, he pulled it out and tapped the screen with trembling fingers until his snapchat came up and he made sure it was on the home screen. His username - C9H13NO3 - starkly visible under the little yellow ghost icon. 

With a motion that would probably seem too forceful but borne purely of nerves Jean thrust his phone up towards the other man so the screen was visible and pointed to it with a slight tilt of his head to the side in question.

Marco had been about to give his usual gesture and leave when he noticed how still the other man was. He was obviously thinking about something. And then he was moving and… pulling out a phone? Marco tilted his head curiously as he watched the other's fingers fumble, obviously trying to pull something up. 

Then the phone was thrust at him with a familiar little ghost glaringly bright in the dim lighting. He hesitated. Should he really be adding some random guy? But, on the other hand, the chance to see more of him, perhaps in better lighting, had Marco reaching out to take the phone a moment later. He pulled up the little "add friend" button, punching in Zugzwang616--and very glad that his actual name was in no way associated with the account--before he could think better of it and tapping the button. 

Marco handed the phone back in the other man's direction abruptly and with a shaky breath. What was done was done. Before the guy would have a chance to look at the screen, Marco mimed his characteristic kiss and turned to disappear into the crowd. His pants felt sticky and awful as he slipped away but his heart hammered in his throat in a thrilling way. 

Jean almost choked from his nerves when his phone was taken and the stranger added his contact info into it, somehow managing to keep his body still even though his facial expression was wide eyed and open mouthed beneath the mask. He took the phone back and before he could check it the man was leaving in the same manner as the previous week, Jean flicking a wave at him this time since he was less taken by surprise.

Jean didn’t even attempt to stay any longer than that. He’d basically gotten what he’d come here for anyway, with the addition of some guys snapchat details and slimey pants. He did his best to walk as if cum  _ wasn’t _ seeping down his thighs with every step he took, quickly leaving and making his way home.

When he got home Jean ripped the mask off and flopped backwards onto his bed with a groan, arching his back and stroking his hand down his body and beneath his pants to feel the mess in there, the mess  _ ‘he’ _ had caused. His dick twitched at the memory and Jean started to get hard again without much prompting, twenty minutes more than enough time for his body to recover and whine for more - fucking hormones. Jean bit his lip and pulled his phone out, lifting the hem of his pants enough to show his hardening dick and the messy strings of cum - still wet - smeared all over him. He snapped a picture and sent it to his new contact with the words ‘Look what a mess you made.’ scrawled across the ribbon of black bisecting the image.

Marco had added his new contact almost as soon as he was outside, heart still thudding away in disbelief. He hurried home, eager to get out of the stifling air of his mask--which he didn't dare take off until he was nearly there and couldn't stand it any longer. He had felt his phone vibrate with a notification a few minutes previously and hurried to get his door locked behind him, strip away his soiled pants, and pull out his phone. 

Opening the app, Marco felt the air knocked out of him at the message and the image with it, collapsing against the edge of his couch. Even just from what he could see, the guy's cock looked delicious. He bit his lip for a moment, his free hand palming himself as he stared until the message closed. A small whine escaped him into the silence of his apartment at the thought of laving his tongue against the man's cock, tasting him. His own dick throbbed in appreciation beneath his grasp. 

Debating for a moment on how to reply, Marco stroked himself idly. The simple fact was, between their two experiences together and the fact they now had a way to communicate outside of the club, this was the most "regular" thing Marco had had going for a while. Dating in his situation was just too chaotic and messy, never able to find someone who wanted him for something other than bragging rights. But this, the guy didn't even know who he was and yet he still came back, even initiated… this. Finding himself quickly hard, he snapped back his reply, a decent enough shot of his cock with a simple 'Delicious ;) how bout a better look?' across it. He felt like a flirting teenager, heart hammering in his throat. When was the last time he'd even sent anyone a nude picture? He couldn't remember. 

Jean wasn’t really expecting a response, having tripped his pants off he was working on wiping his dick with a towel when his phone vibrated and his heart sped up. He’d really responded? Shakily Jean checked his phone and sure enough there was a snap from his new friend, his dick was amazing and Jean felt his own half hardness twitch in response as he stared for as long as snap would allow.

“Jesus Christ…” He whispered, biting his lip and grabbing himself. He gave his cock a firm jerk and groaned, lifting his hips from the bed as he allowed himself to fuck his hand for a few moments unable to restrain himself after seeing that. Jean fumbled his camera on again and snapped a reply, dick now free of the earlier cum but newly weeping glistening clear pre-cum instead, his hand wrapped around the base in a tight ‘o’. ‘Damn, I want yours in my mouth.’ He wrote, having to correct himself a few times in his haste. 

Stroking himself lazily as he mulled over the evening, Marco jumped slightly at the sudden buzz of his phone where he had dropped it against his chest. He thumbed across the screen to pull up the reply. He gawked, staring at the image as he stroked himself faster and more firmly. The way the pre-cum shone at the tip of the guy's cock just made him lick his lips. It looked so good, flushed and pink. 

Tipping his head back, he let himself focus on stroking himself furiously for a few moments. Impulsively, Marco slowed down, torturing himself with the slower pace. He tapped the camera button… and held it, taking a short little video as he slowly thrust up into his hand. Grinning to himself, he tapped out a quick message across it. 'Oh yea? Fucking your mouth like this?' He sent it away before he could think better of it, returning to his quick harsh movements. He wondered what the other man--or more specifically his lips--looked like. 

Jean was already worked up enough to be close again, the downside to being so easily riled was how quickly he tended to cum and as his phone buzzed again he groaned and kept his hand moving across the length of his cock. He opened the snap and the video that played utterly undid him, gasping out a low moan as he watched the way the other man’s hand moved across his dick. It didn’t last nearly long enough for his tastes but it still ended up in him cumming embarrassingly quick, all over his hand and stomach with trembling jerks of his hips and a sobbed moan followed by a string of expletives. 

Panting and still high from his orgasm Jean smeared his fingertips in his jizz and brought them up to his mouth, holding his phone with the other hand he made a video in return. Just a close up view of his lips wrapping around his messy fingertips, heavy pants making the speaker crackle as he licked along the length of his middle finger and gave a breathy ‘Yeah.. like that’ just before the video cut out. Jean watched it reply back for a moment, checking that only his mouth was visible. There was a bit of his chin but not even his nose was in the frame so he sent it before collapsing with a tired groan.

Marco was almost too lost in his fantasy of the other man sucking him off--details like his hair and skintone in sharp contrast in his mind while his face remained mysterious--to notice his phone buzzing with the notification. But when he did he snatched it up, fingers feeling clumsy as he opened the video. 

"Oh…  _ fuck _ …" Marco did his best to stifle his own sounds to better hear the video, taking in the crackled sound of the man's breaths. Marco's eyes were locked on those lips and the entirely obscene way he licked at his fingers, the cum clearly evident. And oh god he was  _ talking _ . The breathy, tempting way those words sounded right before the video cut out had Marco keening. He dropped his phone carelessly to the side. His movements were quicker, easier, with that vision of his mystery man's lips in his mind. Marco wasn't sure if he wanted to fuck them or kiss them but  _ both _ sounded like very good ideas. With that added inspiration, it wasn't long before his hips were jerking and bucking as he cried out with his climax, covering himself with a surprising amount of cum considering how recently he already had. 

After sending back a quick snap of the mess against his skin, which happened to be a chunk of his abs, along with an 'mmm, I'd like that', Marco shakily stood to his feet. He managed enough energy to wipe himself off and shove the charger into his phone before collapsing into his bed, falling asleep easily from the exertion. This was definitely not how he had expected the day to go but he certainly wasn't complaining. 

Jean was half asleep already when his phone vibrated again, he slapped the bed beside himself until his hand came into contact with the offending object and he looked at the screen through squinted eyes as it was so bright. Licking his lips when he saw the snap notification Jean opened it and groaned softly, it felt amazing to know he’d been the cause of that. Someone found him arousing enough despite all of his self image issues to come just from a few snaps and  _ shit _ those abs were fucking amazing. Just Jean’s type.

It was almost as if his own personal Adonis had stumbled into his life and Jean murred in contentment as he shoved his phone beneath his pillow and fell asleep, thoughts of the mysterious stranger making his dreams less than pure and his sheets a little more messy.


	2. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some unexpected chaos, Jean and Marco wind up meeting face to face--without the masks--for the first time. Surprise from both sides. It... doesn't go as smoothly as either of them would have hoped.

The next two months progressed quickly but in much the same manner. During the week they would trade snaps and messages that ranged from flirty to explicit. And when the weekend came, Marco would seek the other man out at the club. He hardly even noticed that he had begun to play his little precursor game with less and less people each night, on some level waiting for that familiar mask to arrive. He still didn't know the guy's name or even what his whole face looked like but somehow he felt he was growing attached. 

More recently, mundane little facts about themselves--from books they enjoyed to things they liked to do--had begun to be tossed in among the flirting and libidinous messages. Marco, of course, was careful to avoid any topics that might hint at who he was. And he wasn't entirely sure that mentioning 'so I've seen my abs on your wall' was the best way to broach that topic either. 

It had been a stressful week for Marco's schedule. He felt as though he'd been lucky to get three hours of sleep each night. They had been hammering out the last of the choreography for a new video and the director demanded nothing less than perfection. It made their messages regrettably infrequent, Marco too tired to do much of anything in the down time he did have. But still, when the weekend came, he was out the door without a moment's hesitation. 

Which made it all the more frustrating when Marco still couldn't spot the other man long after he knew the guy usually arrived. He had done his usual routine, though he became more and more distracted, a frown settling beneath his mask. Why wasn't he here? He hadn't said anything about not coming. Just the day before, Marco had gotten a positive response to his message about being excited for the weekend. Had something happened? Was he being avoided? Some paranoid streak of his brain wondered if Jean had found out who he was and was cutting him out for some reason. Never meet your idols? Tired, frustrated, and horny, Marco debated just finding someone else to mess around with for the evening. But somehow it just… felt weird. He stalked home, punching out and erasing a series of messages that sounded far too dejected for his taste before finally settling on a simple shot of just his mask alone on his coffee table with a 'Where were you tonight? :(' tacked across the middle. 

Over the progressing weeks, Jean had gone from a pure physical attraction - to the guy's body and dick since he didn’t know what his face looked like - to something he’d realised was more of an actual crush. Like an  _ actual _ sort of ‘I want to know this guy without the mask and go on stupid dates and kiss him and maybe let him fuck my ass’ crush. Each time his snapchat notified him of a new message his heart fluttered and his stomach did a sad little flip flop and every week when they met at the club Jean didn’t even look at anyone else, though he was aware of a regular voyeur in the form of that blonde woman who’d helped him stay upright on his second encounter with Mr Devil Mask.

The more days and weeks that passed the more eager Jean was to see the other man and he’d even begun to pine after him when the messages became infrequent. So when his mother found his fake ID and his club clothes his world came crashing down and he ended up with no ID, no clothes other than his usual baggy jeans and tshirts and no phone because she had taken it away. 

It happened on the day he was supposed to meet the masked man at the club after a particularly sparse week of messages, and Jean spent the evening crying like a tragic heroine. He couldn't even say he wasn’t going to be there, the guilt he felt was sickening and he spent the next week in a sulky daze, he didn’t even want to hang out with Connie much to his best friends distaste although he knew  _ everything _ and said he understood. When Jean finally got his phone back and promised he wasn’t going to ‘go out drinking in bars’ any more he locked himself in his room and plugged his phone into it's charger, fidgeting the entire time it took to get enough charge to switch on. He played the snaps from the Masked man and felt the guilt well up within him all over again, finally snapping a picture of his mouth - lips cast down in a sad frown - with the text ‘I’ve been really sick sorry :(‘ slapped across the small bit of his nose that was visible.

It was a poor excuse, but Jean couldn’t think of anything better and he wondered if he would even get a response. The guy had probably moved onto someone new by now, it wasn’t like Jean was anything special.

The time that Marco hadn't heard from his stranger had been hell. His mind ran through too many reasons, too many possibilities for why he'd just been dropped like old news. Had Marco pissed him off somehow? Was he okay? Had something happened? Did the guy find someone new and just didn't have the decency to tell him? Was he just avoiding Marco for some reason? Did Marco do something and not realize it? Did he figure out who Marco was and just didn't want to deal with it? The possibilities jumbled together, keeping him irritable and distracted. Each one seemed worse than the one before, even when it popped up into his head multiple times. Everything was just  _ worse _ . 

Their video had taken easily twice as long as it should have to film with the director continually making them redo it and redo it until Marco managed to school his face into behaving and pretend to look happy and flirty rather than sad and forlorn. He still felt it was only a passable performance but at least the jerk was finally happy. Irritable, sore everywhere, and exhausted, Marco hardly had the energy to lift his head to look at his phone when it buzzed at him. And even then he debated ignoring it. 

With a sigh, Marco lifted his head, shimmying up onto his elbows and unlocking his phone. When he saw the notification, he froze, something between anxiety and vexation welling up in him. Tapping it open, Marco breathed a little sigh of relief at the sight of now-familiar lips frowning up at him from the screen. But the message made him scowl. What kind of an excuse was that? It had been  _ days _ . He snapped a nondescript picture of his sheets, punching out the words 'Too sick to send one message?'. A little grumpy angry emoji was tilted askew into the corner. 

Jean felt sick as he sat, curled up on the floor next to his bed with his knees drawn up under his chin, waiting for a reply. What if he didn’t get one? It’d probably serve him right though, the guy thought he was an adult after all, what sort of stupid excuse was ‘I was sick’ anyway. When his phone buzzed Jean jolted in surprise and opened the snap only to feel his heart ache and his eyes water.

Yep, he was angry. At least he’d sent a message though… right? Wasn’t that better than being ignored? Jean stared at the emoji in the corner and felt a sob rattle through him. Why was he so damned attached and emotional over this guy anyway? He didn’t even know what his fucking face looked like, let alone his name.

Jean took a picture of his carpet and wrote ‘I’m sorry…’ Across the screen, but then deleted it before sending. He fidgeted with his phone for a long moment as he tried to stop himself crying but ultimately decided to use the front facing camera and take a short video of his mouth, tear tracks either side of it as he mumbled out a quivering “I’m sorry…” and sent it before he changed his mind again.

Marco's frown disappeared into a worried gnawing of his lip when he got the video response. The guy was… crying? Why would he feel that bad? Especially if he was just ignoring Marco. He felt an instant welling up of guilt for his previous message. Obviously something was up. Marco didn't know, for all he knew the guy could have had a family death or something. He chewed at his lip for a while, unsure how to respond. 

Finally, Marco settled on another frame of his sheets with a 'So you weren't ditching me?' across the middle. It felt weird, being this unsettled and caring this much about whether someone else liked him or not. He wasn't used to it. It had always been that, if he did decide to even go out with someone, it was a fan who was obsessive over him and even if they did decide to break it off--rare but stranger things happened--there were 100 others vying for the position. But his masked stranger was… different. He didn't know who Marco was. Marco stood on the same ground as everybody else with him. Perhaps even less because he didn't know his name or face. He was just some pictures and words on a screen and an occasional masked sexual encounter in semi-darkness. 

But Marco wanted to be more than that. If there was anything the last few days had shown him, it was how attached he had gotten. Moments after his last message, Marco sent off another, this time of a small distorted anime character that sat on his nightstand with a 'Wanna make it up to me?' underneath it. His heart raced as he tapped the send button before he could think better of it. Marco wasn't entirely sure if this was brave or foolish just yet. 

Jean blinked down at his phone in shock when he read the words across the screen. Ditched him? That’s what he’d thought? And the guy had been upset over the prospect… was it because he was the ‘I dump but am never the dumpee’ type or was it because he actually felt something for Jean. His heart fluttered and whilst his cheeks were still wet he was no longer crying. He took a picture of his floor, socked feet just peeking at the edge of the frame and typed his response. ‘I like you too much 4 that.’ And sent it as he felt his face flare with heat.

Almost as soon as Jean had sent his response his phone buzzed again and he opened the message in shock, it wasn’t a reply but a new question and he gnawed on his lip as he noted the anime figure.  _ Oh god that's adorable… _ He thought, shifting to point his phone at his desk and take a picture of a similar figure of his own. ‘I’ll do anything.’ He sent it and then sort of regretted it because ‘anything’ may have been a stretch, there were certain things he couldn’t do - meeting at the club was one of them.  _ Fuck… _ Jean might not be able to see the guy in person again… it hit him like a ton of bricks and he dropped his head back to his mattress with a groan.

Marco choked on air when the message came through about the mystery man liking him. His gut did an embarrassing little flutter. But it also renewed his determination to go through with his idea. The second message came through and he smiled, chuckling. Well that was a good sign, at least he hoped it was. 

Marco steeled himself, taking a few deep breaths. He sat up, staring at his phone as if it might explode in his hands. And with how hard he was gripping it, he wouldn't be surprised if it did. He knew if he didn't do this now he wasn't sure if he ever would. And besides, if the other guy really did feel bad about not responding to him for so long, then maybe he could take advantage of that guilt to get a positive answer where he might not otherwise. 

Marco had persistently avoided sending any part of his face--or the tattoos on his arms--in the past. But now he flipped to the front camera of his phone, pursing his lips into a small but hopeful expression somewhere between a smirk and a smile. The frame barely reached to the bottom of his nose and the top of his chest, sharp lines of muscle barely visible. 'Lunch? Tomorrow? Wanna meet u 4 real.' Marco hit the send button quickly, all but tossing his phone away from him onto the bed once the deed was done. He had actually just done that. He asked the guy to meet him. No masks, no anonymity. He groaned, tugging at his hair and hoping he hadn't just done something incredibly stupid as he waited for a reply. 

Jean had moved to sit on his bed as he awaited a response, and when he got one he almost dropped his phone. His heart jumped into his throat and he was sure he was having palpitations, as well as some throbbing in a decidedly more southern area. The guy had  _ shown his face _ , at least a part of it and he looked fucking gorgeous and shit he really was just Jean’s type. Even that small section looked way too familiar and something in him twisted as he couldn’t  _ quite _ place it.

He didn’t respond right away, far too flustered to figure out how the hell to respond and then he felt dread set in because oh shit this guy wanted to meet him and he would see what he  _ really _ looked like in all his stupid baggy tshirts and jeans and glasses glory and somehow that felt wrong because there was no way he’d approach Jean once he saw him standing there. His chest ached and he snapped back with a picture of his pillows. ‘You might b rlly disappointed…’ Then he pressed send and couldn’t help himself from sending another. ‘I REALLY wanna tho…’

Marco had been sitting anxiously on his bed, trying to not chew on his lip too badly. Regardless, it had flushed and plumped by now, he was sure. He frowned when the first response came through, heart dropping. That sounded like a rejection. The second message came through a moment later and he almost felt dizzy from how quickly he had veered from low to high. He wanted to. That was something. 

Thinking for a moment. Marco flipped his camera again for a shot of his blanket. He punched out his words quickly and earnestly. 'Disappointed in u? Never.' Flipping the camera again, he stuck out his lower lip in a pout, corners of his lips turning down and snapped another picture. He hesitated before typing in his words and sending it. 'Pretty please, cutie? For me?' He hoped the man didn't mind the familiarity, having stuck to mostly neutral terms. Hopefully, it would work in his favour though. Hopefully. 

Jean read the snaps that the man sent with an increasing sense of excitement and unease that made him feel a little bit sick from the intensity of it. When the second one came in he choked on his breath and sparked a mild asthma attack, he fumbled across his desk as he grabbed his inhaler and took two puffs from it over the space of a minute or so. He closed his eyes to try and ground himself and then snapped a picture of his glasses sitting innocently on the desk next to the anime figure. 

‘I’m nothing special…’ He scrawled across the image with the white text and sent it, chewing on his lip enough to make it hurt and covering his mouth with a shaking hand as he took a picture of his denim clad knees and wrote. ‘But...ok…’ Sending it before he could back out. Oh  _ fuck _ he needed his inhaler again why did he keep choking on his spit, god _ damnit _ .

The first message had Marco internally fawning.  _ Glasses _ ? The guy wore those cute, slightly nerdy black-rimmed glasses? He had already known his stranger was something of a nerd but to know that he looked the part as well? It was a stark contrast to the sleek style of his mask and the clothes he wore whenever Marco had seen him at the club. But it was also endearing in a way. It seemed like Marco wasn't the only one with more than one side to himself. Still, he seemed to have a self-deprecating streak if the message was anything to go by. From what Marco  _ did _ know, while admittedly not much, he seemed certainly special enough. The fact they had started getting to know each other while he didn't know who Marco was was special in itself. 

The second message came through and Marco hissed out a victorious noise before he could stop himself. Not bothering to change his camera, he just tipped the angle up, catching the top of his hair and the wall above his head. He tapped out a question. 'Aroma Cafe by Pseudo? Noon tomorrow?' It was a relatively small eatery that he had discovered mostly by accident, not far from the club. But the real upshot was that it was usually empty enough, only populated by local regulars. The number of times he'd been approached by fans there was much lower than anywhere else that he knew of. He wasn't sure where the other man lived either but obviously the club was convenient enough for them both to get to so he figured this would be as well. 

When Jean saw the other man’s hair he almost missed the meeting place and time that had been written down… there was  _ no way _ that the guy was… Jean glanced behind him to the posters on his wall and stared at his favourite member of a frighteningly popular band for a long moment. There were certainly a  _ lot _ of similarities body wise but a lot of people looked similar right?

Feeling sick with anxiety but also sort of.. aroused, Jean snapped back his mouth, plump lower lip caught between his teeth. ‘How will we know each other?’ He asked and sent it.

It was an easy enough place to get to and his mother was working all day as usual, she’d been taking extra overtime too, since their falling out over his fake ID. Thankfully she hadn’t known exactly the type of club Jean had been going to because he was sure he’d never see his phone or daylight again.

Marco felt his gut flip at the image. The guy's lips were adorable. He felt the familiar urge to just kiss the living daylights out of the other man bubbling to boiling point. His lips were just too appealing. The question made him frown slightly. It was a valid point. He certainly wasn't going to send his face and jeopardize their meeting. 

Standing quickly, Marco rummaged through his closet. It took a bit of effort to find something he hadn't been recently, or ideally ever, photographed in but eventually he found a nice brown vest he'd bought but never worn. Tossing it on the hanger over a white button-down shirt and looping a simple scarf around the neck of the hangar, he hung it from the back of the closet door and took a quick picture. 'I'll be in this. You?' Marco let out a quick steadying breath before sending the message and carefully closing the door over, sitting back on his bed. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt so nervous. Maybe it was that part of him wasn't entirely sure this guy wouldn't just bolt as soon as he saw him. Maybe it was the fear of a sudden mountain of expectations. Either way, he wanted to try. 

Jean waited as patiently as he could for the reply although it was taking a long time, did the guy change his mind? He picked at the seam on the outside of his thigh until his phone vibrated and he opened the message, he made sure to take in the clothes properly and nodded to himself before standing up and digging through his drawers.

He knew he didn’t have anything anywhere near that stylish, but he pulled out some jeans that were rolled up at the bottom, the inside in a paisley sort of pattern - Connie had said they looked good ok? - and a thin sweater with navy and white stripes. He laid them out on his bed and snapped the best image he could of them. ‘This… sorry it’s not stylish.’ After sending he put the clothes over the back of his desk chair and flopped face down in his bed. It was already evening when they’d started to talk since Jean had to wait for his mother to leave for her evening shift before he dared text the other man.

Waiting for the reply, Marco couldn't stop yawning. His earlier frustration over the stranger's sudden disappearance and then reappearance combined with his lack of sleep were eating at him. He was half asleep by the time his phone buzzed, nearly tipping off the bed when it jolted him awake again. He took in the clothes, memorizing them as best as he could. Switching over to the notepad of his phone, he jotted down 'navy and white sweater, jeans w weird hem' before switching back to the snapchat. 

Pausing for a moment, an odd grin slipped across Marco's face. He finally had… a sort-of-date with the guy he'd been humping and sexting with for months. It was weird and unsettling for things to be in that order. But somehow it was also reassuring. Still, given the fact that the guy literally had Marco hanging from his wall, he couldn't help but think he'd be in for a shock. Marco might have felt bad if the idea wasn't so thoroughly entertaining. He just hoped the guy showed up. 

Marco forced himself to stop worrying for the moment as he took a simple picture of his pillow. 'It's fine! Looking forward 2 it!' He drew a haphazard smiley with the tip of his finger. It came out looking a bit weird, but it was easy to tell what it was, and it was genuine. Sending the message, he yawned. More yawns followed as he plugged his phone back in, crashing down to his pillows. Anxious nerves gnawed at the edge of his mind but sleep was the much louder demand. He could worry in the morning. Marco's eyelids felt heavy and he let them droop shut. It hardly took a few minutes before he was out cold. 

Jean read the message and smiled, blushing slightly as he snapped his pillow in return ‘Me 2. Goodnight.’ After sending it he put his phone on his desk and plugged it in, flopping into his bed and pulled the covers up around him until just the top of his hair was poking out from underneath. Despite his slight arousal he was too tired from the shock and muddle of emotions he’d felt in such a short amount of time and he quickly fell asleep.

\---

The next morning Jean woke up with a start, body jerking awake as he sat up with a groan and rubbed his eyes harshly with the heels of his palms, he hated those falling dreams. He looked across the room groggily, the scene blurred without his glasses and he gave a yawn before his memory for the previous night caught up with him. Suddenly he was very, very awake.

“O-Oh...fuck…” He muttered to himself, eyeing his chosen outfit like it was going to bite him. It was already 9am, the clock on his desk blinking at him mockingly as he jumped out of bed and went to shower…  _ thoroughly _ . He scrubbed his hair clean and brushed his teeth twice before he was satisfied, it took a good hour and by the time he was done he was panicking a bit. It only took twenty minutes to get there if he was walking but he was still paranoid about being late, hell he was paranoid about the whole thing in general because  _ what if he sees me and regrets everything _ . 

Jean got ready, tried to pass some time by playing games on his phone, opened snap three times but couldn’t get the nerve up to send anything to his masked stranger and finally decided to leave early. He’d get there about twenty minutes before they were due to meet but if he didn’t go now Jean thought he’d puke or faint or both. It was his first ‘date’, even though it wasn’t really a date… right? Or was it? Oh  _ god _ he was freaking out.

Marco's usual daily alarm screamed him awake at 8 in the morning, obnoxious screeching noises emanating from the thing. It was  _ way _ too fucking early. He nearly threw the offending device across the room and curled back under his blankets. He had the alarm clock in his hand. But then he remembered the night before and his eyes went wide. Did he really…? He set the clock back down and turned it off properly with an apologetic pat. Checking his phone quickly, he found the note he'd made for himself about what the guy he was going to be meeting was wearing.  _ Oh. _ That  _ had _ happened. In his sleepy state, Marco almost would have been willing to chalk it up to an unusually creative dream. But the proof was right there on his screen. 

Despite--or perhaps because of--having touched boners with the guy, Marco was still surprisingly anxious about meeting him in person. He wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to make the suggestion in the first place. But he had. And he did. And the guy said yes. And they would hopefully be meeting in a few hours. Marco's body hummed with excess energy. Desperate for some way to burn it off, he tried a quick shower. Failing that, he spent nearly an hour exercising, trying to work the energy out. It helped somewhat. But also meant he needed a second shower. He took more time, showering and preening himself. Marco's hair was styled; his clothes were tidy and neat; his wallet, keys, and phone were where they should be…  

And it wasn't even 11 o'clock. Damn. Their meeting spot was hardly twenty minutes away. Regardless, Marco left anyway, slipping on a pair of oversized sunglasses. He hoped to snag the table from where he could watch the door that wasn't immediately obvious to anyone walking in. Just in case the other man saw him and panicked. Marco wanted to make sure he saw him first. Looking around when he arrived, Marco saw no sign of the described outfit. Good, of course he wouldn't. It was only a quarter after. The guy wasn't supposed to be there for forty-five minutes. He was way too early. He got himself a drink, took his seat at the out-of-the-way table, and waited. And if he checked his phone for notifications a bit too much, he was willing to chalk that up to boredom rather than nerves. 

Jean walked slow, hoping to take some extra time but still arriving along the road from the cafe fifteen minutes early. He felt sick, oh god he couldn’t do this after all could he. His heart was hammering in his chest and he felt like it might burst right out of him, his stomach ached from both his lack of breakfast or even a glass of water and the nerves making him tense all over. Jean paused at one of the tables just outside the door, bringing his hand up to his mouth and chewing on the skin around his thumbnail for a moment as he stared at his shoes. 

He was early, so there was no way the guy would be here yet. Only Jean could be  _ that _ desperate, right? Even so he was far too nervous to actually look up and inside the place and he grabbed the messenger bag at his hip tightly in his other hand as he took a step backwards, half turning to leave before he caught himself and slapped both cheeks with the palms of his hands to get himself to get a grip. His face was already red with a blush so the slap hadn’t helped matters anyway.

Steeling himself, Jean finally took a deep breath and pulled the door open to step inside. As soon as the door was closed he looked up and around to see where he should sit, except the man he was supposed to meet was already there, sitting comfortably and there was  _ no _ mistaking two things. A) He was certainly who Jean was supposed to be meeting because of those clothes and B) He was his fucking idol. Jean felt like a rabbit in the headlights of a car and he froze, light hazel eyes widening beneath the lenses of his glasses as his face turned an even darker shade of red and he thought he might just pass out… or puke… or run… that sounded like a great idea because there was no way someone like  _ that _ would be interested after laying eyes on someone like  _ Jean _ .

Marco's head snapped up when he heard the door open, as it had for every previous customer for the last half hour. It was actually beginning to irritate his neck slightly, a dull throb forming at the top of his spine. But this time he paused, the sudden shock of the possibility not fading into disappointment of it being someone else. No, that was  _ definitely _ the scrawny build of the man he'd asked to meet him. And those were  _ definitely _ the clothes. And oh  _ god _ he looked  _ young _ but… He had to be at least of-age to be in the club where they had met, right? Some people just had those young-looking faces. And with how scrawny he was, that was probably why. Right. 

It made sense enough to Marco anyway. Particularly as he was far too focused on how  _ adorable _ the other man was. From how the clothes sagged off of him, obviously too big, to the way his hair poofed and flopped, to the thick glasses on his face, partly obscuring his eyes. Marco's heart rammed itself against his ribcage and he fought for a moment to breathe. He did his best to shake himself out of it. The wide-eyed look on the man's face showed he was clearly far more nervous than Marco was. It was cute, really. The guy really hadn't had any idea who Marco really was after all, had he? 

Tugging off the sunglasses that still sat on his face with his index finger and thumb, he gave a small wave with his pinky finger before gesturing to the chair across from him. His face spread into the most charming grin he could muster, freckled cheeks rising up against his face. There was a small lilt in his voice when he spoke. "So are you just going to stand there looking terrified or are you going to come sit down?" 

When Marco took off his sunglasses Jean almost fainted right there and then, it was less starstruck and more the disbelief that he’d been so intimate with someone so famous...and  _ sexy _ . Like the guy had been  _ aroused _ by Jean… right?  _ Right!? _

Jean wheezed a little bit when Marco asked if he was going to sit down and Jean didn’t move for a long moment as he gripped the strap of his bag in a white knuckled grip.  _ I’m gonna puke _ . He thought, though thankfully he didn’t say it out loud and somehow managed to find the strength in his legs to stiffly walk over to the table and sit down with a rigid back, posture screaming of anxiety. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before Jean decided he looked utterly idiotic and he lifted his hand to cover the lower part of his face, palm facing Marco and his eyes glancing down at the table top.

Marco forced a chuckle as he was awkwardly gaped at before humming slightly. He felt something like a zoo specimen. He folded his sunglasses and set them on the table before scratching at the side of his nose. This was exactly what he had been afraid of, that starry-eyed idolization. He was relieved when Jean's eyes fell to the table, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He was quiet for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed. His eyes scanned the other man's face during the silence. He really was rather cute. And from how  _ damn _ good he looked at the club, Marco was a bit confused by the baggy state of his clothes. It hid his appeal somewhat, making him more of an awkward nerdy cute than the smooth, sexy person he had come to expect. He was still attractive, just in a different way. 

Finally, Marco cleared his throat, tilting his head slightly. "So uhm… I… uh, well, surprise? You uh… obviously know who I am now. ...So isn't it fair I should know your name too at least, cutie?" Marco gave a little wink, putting himself at ease by falling back on playfulness. It was easier if things were playful and light. They didn't hurt as much then. After all, he still wanted to make the best out of this experience. Even if the guy was too terrified to talk to him ever again after this. Which, given his current reaction, wouldn't entirely surprise Marco. What did surprise him was how much the idea of that  _ hurt _ . He forced himself through it. There was no sense making guesses yet. 

Jean felt bad about how he was reacting, though he really couldn’t help it given the situation. Not only was Marco a fucking  _ god _ but Jean was a scrawny seventeen year old with a funny looking face that some of his classmates often made fun of. Oh man he was  _ seventeen _ and this guy was  _ famous _ . It would be the death of his career if anyone found out about them, the gay thing would be less frowned upon but fuck gay  _ and _ underage? 

Jean felt guilt well up and he hiccuped with the sick feeling it left him with. He felt so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to do with himself. “Is this fu-fun for you? Is this a fun game for people like you?” His voice was strained but as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it and he slapped his hand over his mouth properly this time, feeling his eyes water. Shit that's not really what he wanted to say. 

“Fuck..  _ fuck  _ I’m sorry that's n-not what I mean, you’re a great guy- I… I mean the you that I know from snap the past few weeks… a-and the you … famous… oh fuck.. I’m so sorry.” Jean made sure he was talking quietly despite his distress and fumbling because he didn’t want to draw attention to them, didn’t want to make things awkward or hard for the other man - well.. more than he already had.

Marco's eyes went wide as his breath rushed out of him in one gust. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. No, he was definitely certain that would have hurt less. Then there was backpedaling and Marco could hardly understand the incoherent babble, his ears buzzing. His mind was screaming at him that  _ this is why he shouldn't have said anything _ and that  _ he just had to ask to meet him _ and all manner of unpleasant things. 

Marco had picked up his mug moments before the comment to wet his palate but now it slipped from his grip limply, hitting the floor and shattering. He hardly noticed, staring at the other with a stinging sensation pricking at the corners of his eyes as he blinked hard and slow. He was sure he heard some employee come rushing over to sweep up the shards and sop up the mess. He just wanted them to go away. Please  _ god _ just go away. His mouth moved on autopilot, mumbling almost mechanical apologies he couldn't even hear much less understand until they went away, eyes not leaving the other's face. 

Then finally they were gone and Marco was still silent. His face felt oddly wet. But he wasn't crying. Wait,  _ was _ he crying? He couldn't tell. He felt numb. This was what he'd been afraid of. No, no this was  _ worse _ than what he'd been afraid of. His worst fear had been the guy being too shocked and leaving and never talking to him again, not accusing Marco of  _ toying _ with him. "I… How could… how could you… say that…" His words were breathy, lungs aching. He was vaguely aware that his hands were still up to grip at a nonexistent cup and he instead folded them onto the table. 

Jean jolted violently at the sound of the cup smashing, his chest felt tight with both guilt and the impending threat of suffocation but Marco was  _ crying _ . Jean’s eyes felt wet but  _ Marco _ was crying and Jean suddenly felt even worse than before. People were looking at them and he started to panic about Marco’s image. 

Jean stood abruptly, hands visibly trembling as he rounded the table and grabbed Marco’s hand - he ignored his own tight breaths as he tugged the other man to his feet and quickly yanked him out of the shop. Jean couldn’t quite believe he was actually doing this but he was so  _ paranoid _ he’d ruin Marco’s life that he had to get out of there, away from the staff staring and the sparse customers commenting under their breaths. He pulled Marco into the alleyway next to the café and stopped before letting him go when he was sure they were alone.

“S-sorry… I’m.. sorry!” He wheezed and had to stop to fumble through his bag because his throat felt like it was about to close up completely and that was letting a new sort of panic set in and fucking hell this was turning into one of the worst days of his life. Jean found his inhaler and took some grateful puffs of it before trying to speak again, still not completely clear but better than before.

“I-I’m no good with people.. I mean ..  _ any _ people really and I blurt shit out when I panic and I panicked .. I  _ am _ panicking I’m really sorry that's not what I mean it’s just now you’ve actually seen me there's no way you’d like me back and I like you even  _ more _ now and it’s kind of painful and I’m a shit so I took it out on you and I’m so sorry ok?!!” Jean gasped and had to take more of his inhaler as he looked up at the taller man’s face, his own bright red and tear stained and huh.. when did  _ he _ start crying?

Marco felt dazed, shocked into compliance when he was suddenly roughly yanked up and out of the shop, stumbling over his feet. He was vaguely aware of something that sounded like a yelp escaping him as he snatched his sunglasses before they were out of reach. In any other context, the other man would have been much weaker than him. But Marco was dazed and paralyzed and the guy was just so  _ insistent _ . 

And then they were in an alleyway. And Marco was struggling to understand the words. He felt like his brain was full of thick syrup. But he was aware of apologies and then there was wheezing and  _ wait _ was that an inhaler? The more the other spoke, the more Marco's brain started to work again. But it was still sluggish and confused. He stared down into the guy's face, sure the gears churning in his head would be apparent in his blank stare as he tried to make sense of things. So the other was apologizing for what he said. Because he hadn't meant it. And he liked Marco,  _ still _ liked Marco, liked Marco  _ more _ ? 

"....Why wouldn't I still like you?" That confused and blunt question was about the extent of his eloquence through the numb and hurt cloud in his brain. But the guy said he didn't mean it. He apologized. He was having some sort of panic attack or something over it. Marco cleared his throat, trying to think better. "I just… I didn't tell you… because I thought you'd be… intimidated. But… Then that you'd think I was  _ toying _ with you… I… I don't think anything could be less true…" 

Jean shook his head as Marco spoke, whilst he’d thought it he hadn’t meant it to come out there was no way Marco was that nasty of a person, these past couple of months couldn’t have all been fake interactions and there was at  _ least _ physical compatibility. It was  _ so _ much more than that for Jean, though. 

“N-no I mean..  _ look _ at me! W-what part of me is good enough for someone as amazing as you.. I even thought that before I knew who you were. A-always.. every time.. I felt so inferior an-and not even a single person has ever l-liked me like  _ that _ … actually most people just ignore me or make f-fun of me so I can’t… I get anxious…” He stumbled over his words, stuttering and breath hitching as he held his inhaler tightly in one hand and the strap of his bag in the other. He couldn’t look at Marco any more, ashamed and feeling vulnerable as he glared at his feet in self loathing.  _ Great, best way to blow it, Kirschstein… _

When the other said to look at him, Marco did. And he looked  _ thoroughly _ . Sure, he was a bit weedy and could do with some muscle tone and maybe just some fat on his bones. And yes he was wearing clothes that were way too big for him for some reason. But he had an interesting and appealing face. And a cute nerdy sort of appeal between the glasses and the bag he clung to and the clothes. They worked together for a sort of  _ look _ . Even if it wasn't intentional. And Marco knew he had a  _ gorgeous _ cock as well. That certainly didn't hurt matters. 

Marco thought for a moment over the words. This guy was seriously kind of fucked up. And had some major anxiety issues. But Marco also inexplicably wanted to wrap him up and protect him from a world that had been so disproportionately  _ unfair _ . Not to mention he was still kind of hot. Nerd outfit and all. He reached out a hand, ghosting it along the shorter man's jawline to his chin before nudging it up to try to get him to look Marco in the face. His words were gentle when he spoke. "...You know… You never did tell me your name." 

Oh god Marco was  _ touching _ him… He’d touched Jean so many times before but this time it was different, this time there were no masks to hide his awkward expressions behind, nothing between them but air and Jean couldn’t help but chew on his lower lip as he looked at Marco. His name… huh… Jean swallowed thickly and looked off to the side with just his eyes as he mumbled. “J-Jean Kirschstein.” 

God he wanted to look Marco in the face but the man made his knees weak. His eyes were so dark, his mouth was amazing, his fucking  _ freckles _ were so goddamn beautiful and Jean didn’t know what to do with himself and all his conflicting emotions. Guilt, anxiety, sadness, excitement, anticipation and even the slight stirrings of arousal all mingled in him like a living thing and he gripped his bag even tighter as he finally allowed himself to glance at the other man straight on. His face promptly exploded into another dizzying blush.

Marco smiled slightly at the nervousness apparent in the other's body language. His earlier outburst made more sense now. It wasn't malicious, it was just  _ defensive _ was all. Probably a reflex more than anything. He seemed the type to lash out at things that could be a threat rather than let them close.  _ Jean _ … Marco mulled the name over in his mind for a moment as he studied his face. He said nothing until Jean finally managed to look up at him. God he was so  _ cute _ and that blush just made it  _ better _ . He gauged the shorter man's nerves as best as he could. Marco shrugged internally. He didn't really have anything to lose at this point. 

"Well,  _ Jean _ …" Marco practically purred the name. "I  _ am _ looking at you. And I think there's  _ plenty _ to like. And if other people are idiots, that's  _ their _ loss. Because  _ I _ happen to like you." Fingertips still under Jean's chin, he leaned down, closing the distance between them in a chaste but lingering kiss before pulling back slightly, a soft smile still on his lips. "If that's alright with you."

Jean was about to respond, Marco actually  _ still _ liked him in some form? After all the awkwardness and fucked up rambling and his  _ face _ …. He was about to respond when Marco was suddenly closer and then he was  _ kissing _ him and Jean just about melted. He’d been saving his first kiss for someone special and there was no way he could best Marco Bodt, even if things went sour, even if he fell in love with someone else later on  _ this _ was what he’d been saving it for. 

If Jean thought his face was hot before it was practically self-combusting now and he couldn’t help the dazed reaction of lifting his hand from where it had been gripping his bag and pressing his fingertips against his lips in a shocked sort of wonderment. He wanted it again, he wanted more but he was sure he’d pass out at this rate and  _ oh gosh  _ his legs felt like jelly again.

Marco blinked at Jean's reaction to so simple of a kiss. Did he just touch his lips like some sort of  _ schoolgirl _ ? Wasn't that some sort of first-kiss cliche gesture? Marco was used to people swooning when he kissed them at this point. Hell, he'd made girls in crowds swoon just by  _ blowing _ a kiss at them. But this… This was an entirely different level. Surely he couldn't be… Could he? The guy had been rutting with him in a sex club but he'd never snogged anyone? Well… They did have the masks… But surely he'd had experiences before and outside of that, right?

Stepping back slightly, Marco's eyes narrowed. He found himself crossing his arms suspiciously. His tone was wary. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to know the answer. "...Jean… How… how old  _ are _ you? Because that… was that your fucking first kiss?"


	3. Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco finds out how old Jean really is, his reaction could have been better...

Jean felt his stomach drop when Marco stepped back and inspected him as if unimpressed all of a sudden. _Fuck_ now something else was going wrong wasn’t it because that wasn't the posture of a happy man. So he shouldn’t have been surprised at the question that followed, especially given his stupid hand to his mouth reaction to the kiss.

“Uh…” He felt the colour drain from his face and suddenly felt kind of sweaty as he gave an awkward sort of smile, eyes staring ahead. “Old enough.” He wibbled, staring at Marco’s nose because his eyes were too much of a challenge. He didn’t answer the question about the kiss.

"...Jean." Marco's eyes went wide at that reaction and he stepped back until there was a wall against his back. That was one of the most blatant lies he'd ever heard. Jean's face alone was a dead tell, pale and sweating bullets. _Oh no_. "Oh you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me."

Marco groaned, both hands up to tug at his hair. "But you… I… we...!" One hand slid down to clasp loosely over his mouth as he spoke out from behind it, still tugging at his hair with wide eyes. His words were quiet, barely a hiss for risk of being overheard. "I'm a sleaze. I'm a filthy sleaze. How the hell did you even get _into_ that club. Oh god… I'm a creepy old pervert. Fuck. Jean why the _fuck_!? Oh fucking hell. You're gonna tell me you're fucking fifteen or something, aren't you. Oh my god. I'm going to hell. I'm _in_ hell." He tugged at his hair harshly, distantly hearing the snapping of strands with each tug.

Jean felt like his heart was imploding at the sudden and intense rejection he felt. It _hurt_ , way more than he’d imagined anything like this could and Marco’s words were a blur of sounds through the loud pulse in his ears. Staring at the floor Jean clenched his fists, forcing the familiar feeling of anger to override the overwhelming pain he didn’t quite know what to do with.

“A-as if you never fucked about when you were seventeen! You’re in _hell_!? Well fuck you too!!” Jean blurted on an angry sob before gritting his teeth against the urge to shove Marco or, worse, punch him in the face because Jean wasn’t very good at impulse control when he was angry - Eren Jaeger knew that well. “ _Fuck!_ ” He hissed before spinning on his heel and running out of the alleyway on legs that felt far too shaky to support him but were somehow doing a fine enough job of getting him away from the suffocating pain of the situation.

This was a mistake, he should have said no, he should have just left it as it had been and let it fizzle out when his mum had taken away the ID and his clothes. He shouldn’t have come, he shouldn’t have let himself feel elated… shouldn’t have listened to Marco’s words… shouldn’t have been so goddamn _happy_ with that kiss because now every single one after was going to taste bitter.

Seventeen, the number caught in Marco's mind during Jean's angry outburst. Well that wasn't _as_ bad. But _still_ he was in fucking _high school_. Sure the idea that he was _almost_ legal assuaged his guilt somewhat but he still felt awful about it. Because almost _wasn't_ legal. And he felt even more awful for the fact that a large part of him _didn't_ feel awful about it. Could you feel awful for _not_ feeling awful? Apparently.

And oh _god_ this could have ruined his career. It could _still_ ruin his career. He could see the tabloid headlines flashing in his mind about Marco Bodt _fucking_ a goddamn high school fanboy. And why the _hell_ had Jean even been there? _How_ the hell? And how _dare_ he draw Marco in like that, ask for his contact info, talk to him, make him _care_ . But oh… that was right. He _did_ care about Jean. More than just the occasional humping or the sexting or the picture swaps--another worried wave washed through him at that thought--he _cared_ about the stupid idiot. He fucking _liked_ him. He had a fucking _crush_ . On a _seventeen_ year old.

But oh _fuck_ Jean was yelling and crying and storming off. And this was on Marco. He shouldn't have reacted as suddenly as he did. He'd already spotted the man's--teen's?-- _fuck it_ \-- _Jean's_ tendency to react suddenly and entirely. He should have seen this coming. And he sounded so _hurt_. And Marco didn't want him to hurt. He _cared_ about him. But he was also _furious_ with him. But he was also _terrified_ of him because this guy could _ruin_ him. And he was an angry, hurt, _teenager_ and they did impulsive things and oh _god_ what if Jean told someone? In an impulsive angry fit? And Marco would be _ruined_. But wait should he be worrying about _that_ more or the fact that his reaction had _hurt_ him? Marco's mind was a swirling lump of chaos and he just didn't… know what to do.

"... _Oh, damn it all_. ...JEAN, WAIT!" Marco groaned to himself before shouting and tearing out of the alleyway in the direction he'd seen him sprint off in. His legs were longer and significantly stronger, he just hoped he could catch him and that Jean would be willing to stop. "Jean! Fucking _wait!_ Listen to me, _please_ _!_ "

Jean was sobbing hard enough that he could hardly see the pavement in-front of him, he didn’t care if anyone was around to see him, didn’t care that his inhaler wasn’t in his hand anymore… where’d that gone? Fuck it he _didn’t care_ because everything hurt.

Then he heard Marco’s voice shouting after him and he wanted to speed up but he stumbled over his feet and only just caught himself before he landed face first against the pavement. He pushed himself into a proper stand again and carried on. “G-Go away!! Someone will fucking _see_ you! Shut up!” he sobbed, somehow getting the words out.

Jean was so _so_ angry and hurt and mixed up and he didn’t want to deal with this, why the hell did he even get attached this was stupid, what sort of fucking fairytale dream was this? It’d turned into a nightmare and he wanted to wake up because there was no way the guy he’d met was Marco _fucking_ Bodt. “A piece of shit t-teenager isn’t worth f-fucking career-” He stuttered on a sob and swallowed thickly, stumbling again as his vision blurred too much to see anything and he had to stop and cover his face with both of his hands defensively. “ _Fuck_ why did I think I could do this-!”

Marco had just seen the piece of plastic fly out of Jean's hand as he ran. He ducked down to grab it and picked up his pace to a sprint. This was absurd. He wanted to smack his head against the wall for how absurd it was. It was fucking _juvenile_ but then Jean _was_ a fucking juvenile, apparently. And he could have, _should have_ seen the signs earlier, things that weren't _quite_ right about the things he said suddenly falling into place. It all made _so much_ more sense with the idea of Jean being in _high school_ than some university. Marco cursed himself for not catching on faster.

But still Marco pushed on. He wasn't even sure _why_ anymore. He wasn't sure if he was chasing him to stop him from blurting what they'd done to the world or if it was because part of him, however wrong, really _liked_ Jean and wanted to apologize and _mend_ things. He wasn't sure. He just knew he had to _stop_ Jean. And after that? He'd figure that out when he got there. "Jean just stop! Please!"

Finally able to slow down when Jean stopped and he caught up to him, Marco panted slightly. For a scrawny sobbing dude, Jean could run surprisingly well with the right motivation. He hesitated, glancing around for a moment before deciding _fuck it_ and wrapping his arms around the smaller man. There was nothing _wrong_ or… _jailbait_ about a fucking _hug_ after all. He held his grip tight in case Jean should try to pull away. "Jean… Jean just listen to me okay? We can… Let's talk about this, okay? Maybe we can… I don't know, work this out. Please. I _do_ care about you. A whole _lot_. It fucking _kills me_ to see you like this. I just… _fucking hell_ Jean, seventeen? Fuck. You can't just… spring that on somebody." Marco's words were breathless and rambly but he just hoped that the _honesty_ and the fact that he _wanted_ to work things out shone through in his tone.

Jean tensed as Marco caught up to him and wrapped him in a hug, feeling every muscle in his body ache from it as he kept his hands firmly planted in-front of his face, regardless of the fact it was now also pressed to the taller man’s chest. He did his best to hear what Marco was saying but the blood was still rushing in his ears and he was still sobbing and panting so he missed half of it, but still got the general idea.

“Y-You’re the one that asked… why’d you have… have to ask. _Shit_.” He mumbled tremulously. Then couldn’t help adding. “C-cuz it’s so much better to spring on some unsuspecting pining idiot that you-you’re a major celebrity way out of their league.” Jean licked his lips and could taste the salt of his tears, he was still sobbing but not quite as hard as before - mainly due to the fact he couldn’t breathe after running. Though it was more that he wasn’t very good at physical exertion as opposed to asthma this time. “S-someone will see you… y-you gotta just… go before… I ruin your life…”

"Jean… it was _obvious_ at that point…" Marco's tone was tired, weary. He wasn't tired of Jean though. He was exhausted with himself, mainly. He should have seen it sooner. He knew he should have. He was _still_ kicking himself for that.

At the comment about his celebrity status Marco stiffened slightly. "That's _different_." His words became harsh for a moment and he cleared his throat. "Sorry. It's just… That's different okay. I didn't have a _choice_ ." He frowned. That didn't make it seem different enough… "I just… you don't _know_ , Jean. You don't know what it's like having people throwing themselves at you because of your name. That… That club is the only place I have… anonymity. I never expected… you." Marco almost groaned at how absurdly _sappy_ that sounded.

"A-anyway, it's okay. I'm not… I'm not _doing_ anything, right? This is _just_ a hug. Totally safe for work hug. Okay? Just accept it. Try to breathe. And relax. Slow breaths." He let his hands move in subtle, small movements against the other's back, trying to calm him as his own thoughts raced onward, crashing into each other inside his head. "Can we… fuck I don't know. We need to talk, obviously. And… this is too open. So can we go somewhere and talk?" He needed to figure this out, to figure _them_ out, whatever _them_ was. And sooner rather than later to hopefully quiet the racing of his mind.

Jean grit his teeth as Marco said it was different because he didn’t have a choice. As if Jean had a choice to be seventeen, but the other man was right Jean had no idea what it was like. “Y-you’re right.. the only people t-that throw themselves at me are trying to punch me in the face.” He couldn’t help the self-depreciating laugh that bubbled out of him after he said that and he lapsed into silence again as Marco continued, said they needed to talk but this was too open. Wasn’t _everywhere_ too open when you were famous?

“I… no one’s at my place… until like...4am.. but…” He fidgeted and scrubbed at his eyes clumsily within the confines of Marco’s arms. “Stupid idea..forget it. I’m too young, that's it there’s nothing to talk about. I get it.” His voice was muffled by his hands and Marco’s chest, he wanted to pull away but at the same time the warmth was so nice and he might never get to feel it again.

Marco couldn't help the way his arms clung a bit tighter around the other at the self-depreciating laugh and the nature of the comment. Marco just wanted to _protect_ him from all that. People really _sucked_. He blinked for a moment. "Four in the morning, what the hell? What about your parents?" Part of him thought something along the lines of "well no wonder he wound up at that club" but he realized quickly that it was absurd to think that. Marco had plenty of eyes on him when he was younger and he still succeeded in doing plenty of things he shouldn't have.

"No." Marco shook his head slightly, giving the other a squeeze before pulling back to look at him. "No, no there's plenty to talk about. I… I'm not sure what any of the answers are yet. But the questions I've got plenty of. And… no promises but… maybe we can figure it out." He really hoped they could. "I… It's the middle of the day. I live in a complex. They only pay attention to who comes and goes after dark."

Marco couldn't believe he was actually suggesting this but his mouth seemed content to keep moving. "If anybody notices you, they won't know who you're there to see. And… Not as weird as if I'm spotted… at some random kid's house. Not that you are! But… you know." Was he really fucking asking Jean to come back to his place? This… was a terrible idea. But it was better than the alternative.

“Mum works. Dunno my dad.” Jean responded bluntly to Marco’s disbelieving comment about 4am and couldn’t help the pout, so what? It’s not like he wasn’t used to the situation and it was better for going out… well it _used_ to be before he ended up getting caught. Jean was sure his mother now searched his room frequently, what did privacy matter anyhow?

Jean didn’t even want to hear those words ‘maybe we can figure it out’ as if they could, there was no way this could work… whatever _this_ was. Getting his hopes up was just cruel and fruitless but Jean didn’t want it to just end like this, painful and bitter. Chewing his lip he finally wiggled his hands free from the space between his face and Marco’s chest and let them drop to his sides, he wasn’t going to hug him back _just in case_ no matter what Marco said. “You… want me to go to _your_ apartment?” He sounded skeptical, though only because this really had to be some kind of bizarre dream everything was so weird today.

“I am though, right? A random _kid_. That’s the problem.” Jean deadpanned. It wasn’t going to be an easy or instant ‘oh ok you basically said my existence was hell but you invited me to your condo and teehee you're famous so everything's great now!’ for Jean. Regardless of him being a fan of the older man that didn’t mean he was some kind of shallow, crazed fanboy. He had no intentions of using this as a step toward stardom or riches or any of that shit, if anything Jean found the thought loathsome he wasn’t really the kind who liked much attention aimed at him.

Pressing his hands to Marco’s stomach Jean pushed away from the other man and scrubbed at his face with the sleeve of his jumper, lifting his glasses momentarily so they didn’t get smudged. “Fine, but… hnm..” Fumbling for a moment Jean opened his bag and pulled out a cloth face mask. The sort people wore to avoid spreading their colds - he quickly put it on his lower face without looking up, embarrassed by his tear stained, red cheeks and thinking it was better he concealed himself _just in case_ anyone took a picture or something. Initially he’d bought it so he could hide his face and flee if he saw the guy and got a bad feeling, or just got too shy to approach him but obviously things hadn’t turned out that way at all. “Fine I’ll go.” He repeated awkwardly.

Marco nodded slightly, taking in the information. So Jean only had his mother then. He sighed at the deadpan comment, shaking his head. Of course it wouldn't be _easy_ with this guy. How could it be. "I'm pretty sure you left the threshold of 'random' behind a while ago. Or else I wouldn't even be considering this." His words were muttered with a quiet snort. He wasn't sure what 'this' was, yet, but he was working on it. This whole situation was just _fucked_.

It took a moment after Jean put on the mask for Marco to realize he was staring. It was… weird to feel a shock of… _something_ at the weird familiarity of having at least part of the shorter man's face obscured. Right? Probably. He shook the thought away "Right! Okay… that is… yes. Good. Okay. Let's uhm… This way then. It's not far." He turned to lead the way only to stop, realizing he was still tightly clutching a lump of plastic. The stupid dorky inhaler. Marco turned halfway to hold it out for him briefly. "...And here. You uh… you dropped this. Kind of important, I think. Come on, then." There was a half-hearted lilt to his voice. It was something. They'd… figure it out.

Jean waited anxiously for Marco to say or _do_ something, so when he finally stuttered over his words to get them going he couldn’t help the small sigh of relief that the silence had been broken. Jean awkwardly stumbled when Marco turned to leave only to stop again so quickly, his own movements stilted by the action and he felt a wave of confusion as Marco held something out to him. His inhaler.

“T-thanks..” He squeaked, swiping it and shoving it into his pocket because oh _god_ that was another thing to add to the list of embarrassing things to happen to him today, but at least it wasn’t another _painful_ thing so it was a step up. Sort of. Jean followed Marco through the streets in silence, always walking a few steps behind the other man as opposed to beside him where it felt too close, too much.

Marco smiled slightly at the embarrassed squeak. He _was_ cute, in an awkward sort of way. As they walked, Marco noticed the way Jean trailed behind but he was at least following so he wouldn't comment, for now. He shoved away the thought of how actually unnerving it was to have someone trailing behind you like that, knowing they're there but not acknowledging them, not able to see them without turning. It made his skin crawl slightly.

Still, Marco was glad when they finally arrived. It wasn't the ritziest complex around but it was comfortable and the night manager had solved the problem of fans who'd somehow found his address showing up drunk at his door in the middle of the night. Which was a relief. He glanced to the stairs and then back at Jean for a moment before heading for the elevator, holding the door and jamming at the button. After the running and the crying and how weedy he was to start with, Marco wouldn't have been surprised if the other just collapsed trying to make it up four flights. And besides, his apartment was only two doors down from the elevator so it was technically closer anyway. Something struck him, realizing that the stupid elevator of all things was the first place they were actually _alone_ together. He pushed the thought away as best as he could, reminding himself insistently of Jean's _age_ like a mantra in his head. Marco really needed to organize his priorities.

Jean kept his eyes on the pavement between them or on the backs of Marco’s feet as they walked to his apartment building, it was about the same distance from the club where they met as Jean’s own apartment was, only in a different direction. When they entered the building he didn’t look up at the guard at the desk and just followed Marco automatically into the elevator. Which he sort of regretted as soon as the doors closed.

The small space made their proximity seem far _too_ close and Jean was acutely aware of the other man. He would have been nervous as it was after everything they’ve done thus far but it was worse now that he knew who Marco really was and how they had argued. How things today had gone so drastically _wrong._ His mind was upset but his body was starting to get _hot_ and this was the longest elevator ride of his goddamned life. Jean pressed himself to the wall and prayed to the powers that be that the thing would stop quickly. It did and as soon as the doors opened he slipped out and hoped he didn’t offend the other man further because _shit_ he was blushing way too hard to stay that close.

Marco did notice the tension in Jean's frame, how he kept himself plastered to the wall, but he was too lost in repeating his own thoughts in his head to really care. As outright foolish as it was, every nerve in his body just screamed to reach out, to close the distance between them. He kept his eyes planted firmly on the little screen indicating the floor until the door opened and Jean stumbled out. This was a _terrible_ idea.

Marco tried to keep his pace slow and even during the brief walk, fishing in his pocket for his keys. He tried to pretend his hand _wasn't_ trembling during the three tries it took to actually get the key in the little slot. And he tried _very_ hard to not focus on _who_ Jean was--the unconventionally attractive mystery man behind the mask he'd wanted to actually meet for so long--and to focus on _what_ Jean was--a fucking high school kid--but it really was a monumental effort. But none of those efforts really succeeded. Finally, the door swung open and Marco ushered them inside of the sparse but comfortable one bedroom apartment decorated in shades of warm greens and browns, gesturing towards the couch. Marco tried to keep his slight level of panic off his face. Jean was in his fucking apartment. This was not at all how he had thought this day would go this morning. "I uhm… you can sit. Soda? Water? Something?"

Marco’s nervous body language had Jean feeling even more on edge as they walked to the apartment and the other man fumbled with his keys, _three_ times he had to try to finally get the door unlocked and Jean felt a little less like an idiot. Marco was some famous heartthrob but right now he seemed like a relatively dorky, awkward guy. In-fact Jean knew Marco was a dork because of the snapchats they’d sent over time, the anime figures and the silly little comments and the sexual mishaps - there had been a few.

He felt a tiny bit less apprehensive as he walked inside, took off his shoes by the door and sat when the couch was offered, Jean still perched right on the edge at one end of it though, his hands resting on his bag in his lap and his legs pressed together. “N-no...uhm.. well… maybe water…” He was reminded that he’d yet to have anything to eat or drink since the previous night. As Marco was doing that Jean pressed his fingers to the mask and considered taking it off, although it did make him feel a little more at ease he couldn’t exactly drink from a glass with it in place and he sighed as he removed it with trembling hands and shoved it back into his bag before resuming his former posture.

"Right! Good. I mean. Yes. Right." Marco all but bolted for the kitchen. He fumbled with two glasses, getting their water. Pausing, he turned back, set their glasses on the counter, fumbled in the drawer, and finally fished out a small bottle of pills. Anxiety medicine. He hadn't needed to take them in quite some time, but he was glad that he'd at least held onto them because the absolute _last_ thing he needed was to have a damn panic attack. That just really would have been the icing on the cake. Looking over his shoulder quickly, he dumped one into his hand and shoved the bottle back into the back of the drawer out of sight. After downing the pill with a quick swig of water, he snatched up the other glass, heading back into the living room.

Marco set the two glasses down on the coffee table before sitting down, a safe distance between them. "Right. So…" He started but then, unsure how to continue, let out a slow breath. He started again, this time just blurting onwards before he could stop himself. "Look, this is dumb. I like you. I do. I have for quite a while now. You're weird, you're funny, god knows you're sexy, you're cute. _None_ of that's changed. It's just more… complicated this way." He hesitated, unsure if he should have put in the third point. But it was true, the younger man _was_ attractive still. Even if now Marco wasn't sure exactly what to make of that.

Jean fidgeted for a moment before yanking off his pack and putting it on the floor next to the couch, it was silly to just sit there clinging to it like a lifeline, he already seemed immature enough… probably. When Marco came back in and put the glass of water on the table Jean leaned and instantly picked it up to take a few sips, the instant the water touched his tongue he wanted to groan though as he’d apparently been more thirsty than he’d thought.

Jean listened to Marco talking as he drank, feeling his face heat up at ‘I like you’ and his heart fluttered, only for him to snort and choke on the fluid when he was referred to as _sexy_ . The water spilled down his front and into his lap and he quickly put the cup on the table and wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling like he was once again going to self-combust. Damnit this was supposed to be a serious conversation, he was still _pissed_ and _upset_ but he’d just made a fucking fool of himself and now looked like he’d had an unfortunate accident. “N-no...um...I… I’m not… at all...oh god…”

The weird little almost _pleasured_ expression on Jean's face when he sipped at the water had made Marco's cheeks heat up slightly. But when the guy actually _spewed_ out the water he was drinking, he couldn't help but laugh. Marco was nervous still, and _jittery_ and that was just so awkward and inelegant and weirdly _adorable_. His eyes went wide as he put a hand over his mouth quickly, shaking his head and looking away, cheeks tinted a heavy pink. "Oh shit, sorry. I… that wasn't funny. I just… Sorry. Nervous laugh. Honest. There's some washcloths in the bathroom if you want. Sorry."

Marco bit his lip for a moment. And then he found himself talking again. And oh fuck he was going to start rambling. But he couldn't stop. Too late now. "I… did mean it though. You… really are. Well, to me anyway. Maybe I'm weird. No, no I _am_ weird but that's not what I mean. Anyway! Point is, yes, you _are_ . You're fucking _hot_ okay. I mean yes, right now you're dressed like you're wearing hand-me-downs--wait, you're not are you? I-if you are there's nothing wrong with that I just mean--oh fuck. A-anyway! So yes, you could _really_ fit your clothes better but hell, I've _seen_ what you wore to the club and I wouldn't have approached you if you weren't hot, y'know? Much less more than once. I never do that. I never _did_ that. Just you. Because the way you _moved_ and _looked_ and oh fuck it was just _good_ okay. So good. And then those goddamn snaps and I could hardly even stand it and--" He took a breath, finally managing to shut up his runaway mouth, cheeks gone from pink to red. "Look the point is, yes you are. Whether you realize it or not."

Jean tensed when Marco laughed at him, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die why the fuck did he have to be so clumsy? The only time he was less so was when he was in his mask and clubbing, he could be someone else then - _anyone else_ but himself and that’s why it had worked so well but now he didn’t have that and he was just _Jean_ all lanky and awkward and covered in water in this hot as fuck guys house like some sort of pathetic loser.

He was about to get up to find the cloth to wipe himself off when Marco started to ramble, going off on a tangent about liking Jean, about the teen being sexy and dear god he couldn't breathe through the embarrassment stifling him. When the other man finished Jean was hunched over, staring at his feet with his arms wrapped around his stomach. “I… I… I’ll be ok… there’s no way I’m touching anywhere near my dick right now.” Then he realised what he’d said and just made a pained sort of whining noise.

Marco stared at him for a moment. The realization of Jean's implication settling into his brain. "S-sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I ramble when I'm nervous. It's really kind of a terrible habit." The pills certainly didn't help. But at least he rambled without his heart feeling like it was going to rip its way out of his chest through his throat this way.

Still, Marco's mouth wouldn't stop moving. "This is why I always back off interviews. Or why they don't even let me half the time if they can avoid it. I'm sure you've probably noticed that by now. Not that I think you're obsessed or anything. But I mean I've seen my abs on your wall which is always kind of entertaining in a weird way. But I can't shut up when I get nervous and I say things that I shouldn't. I mean it's honest at least. But probably too honest. It's just a thing. And oh _hell_ now I can't stop thinking about your dick. Wait no, that's wrong I'm not supposed to say that now, right? Probably. But it's just _so good_ and your dick didn't just get less _gorgeous_ because you're a little bit younger than I thought you were and no, nope, that's it, I'm shutting up now. I am shutting up."

Forcibly clamping a hand over his mouth, Marco pinched his eyes shut for a moment. He took a few deep breaths through his nose to steady himself before daring to open his eyes again. This was an absolute train wreck. He was a train wreck. They were both obvious train wrecks. And talking was _hard_. Too hard. And fuck now he was thinking about hard things. Which meant he was thinking about Jean's dick again. _Fuck_. He took care to keep his words level and reasonably-paced. "I'm sorry. I'm probably freaking you out right now."

The more Marco talked the more embarrassed Jean felt and he hadn’t thought it was possible. At least now he couldn’t really question the other man’s sincerity right? He’d been rambling on about liking Jean for a while now and whilst it made him feel flattered and all kinds of happy he was still _dying_ with the intensity of his blush.

“S-shut up I get it…” He squeaked, holding a hand up in Marco’s direction before the other man could start talking again because even though he’d said he would stop Jean wasn’t too sure he _could_. “Y-you’re amazing you know? I mean ok obviously you know, there’s no way you can’t know you’re some kind of sex god, jesus christ you’ve fuelled my jerk sessions so many times over the years- Shit I mean.. oh fuck ignore that.” Jean pressed his hand to his mouth, apparently Marco wasn’t the only one to ramble when he was nervous, although Jean usually got defensive.

“I like you _so much_ Marco… And I mean _you_ , the you here with me now not the you that’s on tv or in music videos or plastered across countless bedroom walls… The you that wears masks and riles up strangers and the you that has dorky anime figures and stupid dorky rambling sessions about my dick… _shit._ ” He fidgeted for a moment before finally, _finally_ being brave enough to turn his head and look over to Marco, his next words coming out in a cracked whisper. “I like… I like the Marco that touches me like I’m not gross and feels so fucking good against me… even if he made me feel like shit about my age. B-but… that’s my bad… sorry…”

Marco barely stifled a snort when he was called amazing. Clearly his anxiety was just so appealing. And his… wait. The idea that Jean had jacked off to him _before_ had honestly not occurred to him. But now that it had, he was pretty sure the blush was _never_ going to leave his face. He choked slightly on his own throat. Still, Jean was continuing to talk and Marco tried to focus on the words. He felt his heart fluttering despite himself because _yes_ that was right, Jean _did_ actually get to know _him_ and not just his persona that he put on for show. And that was what he'd _wanted_ wasn't it? Someone who liked him first for him and second for who he was.

Then Jean was looking at him and Marco was pretty sure he felt something inside him just _shatter_. Because he just looked really… hurt and broken and _lost_ in that moment and Marco knew that feeling and he'd _caused_ that feeling and… Not giving himself a chance to think better of it, he reached out. He yanked Jean against him quickly and suddenly in a tight embrace, easily jerking his smaller frame out of the position he'd been sitting in. "You're _not_ gross. Okay? You're _not_. And I'm sorry. It's just… a lot to take in, y'know? Complicated. But I… That's not an excuse and I didn't mean to make you feel shitty. I'm sorry."

Jean couldn’t help the yelp that escaped when Marco grabbed him and pulled him across the expanse of sofa between them. Then he was against the other man and Marco was so warm and smelled so fucking good and he was _hugging_ Jean and all Jean could do was cling to the other man’s shirt sort of awkwardly.

“It’s only three years difference… T-that’s not a whole lot right? Like I'm eighteen in like three months…” He mumbled, unable to resist the urge of burying his face against Marco’s shoulder and nuzzling him because it just felt so good to be held. He was still a bundle of nerves and lingering angst but the warm flutters were starting to tumble their way back into his chest and the faint throb of arousal had started to thumb through his veins as it usually did when he was around Marco.

“I’m wet…” He announced, remembering how much of the water had spilled down his front. Then he realised how that sounded and stuttered a quick correction. “I-I mean the water! My top and pants and you’ll get wet too like this…” Though he didn’t want it to end.

Marco nodded thoughtfully, giving a small hum. "Mm… more like four because that means my birthday's only a month after yours… But well… three months isn't bad, I guess, if you look at it that way." He smiled slightly at the nuzzling, a small shudder running through him as he sighed. It was… comforting having just that faint physical reassurance. His fingers unconsciously started to roam in small, idle movements.

"Um…" Marco started at Jean's sudden declaration before laughing at the correction. Right. The water. Of course. Not anything else. "Oh. Right. No, I know. Don't care. Deal with it later. Busy. Hugging." Impulsively and before he could think better of it, he found himself placing a kiss on the side of the other man's head. He froze for a moment. Well… it was just a kiss, right? It wasn't like he was fucking him or something. Just a kiss. They'd done much worse. Granted that was before Marco _knew_ but as long as he wasn't fucking him, it was okay… Right? Probably. It seemed like okay enough logic.

Jean felt a soft laugh bubble out of him as Marco said the water didn’t matter, the way he’d worded it was so normal and _silly_ and Jean was starting to feel less starstruck and overwhelmed. This really was the masked guy he’d been talking to and sharing orgasms with wasn’t it, there was no doubt at all in his mind about that now.  The kiss to the side of his head made Jean tense up again though, god he wanted Marco to kiss him on the mouth again, he wanted the next kiss to be just as good - no, better. He wanted a kiss that lasted longer and went deeper and didn’t end with him crying, but Jean had felt the way Marco froze up after pressing his lips to the side of Jean’s head so he doubted he’d be kissed properly again anytime soon. Right?

Jean took a deep breath and licked his lips so they weren’t dry, he could try though… right? If he was pushed away that would clarify everything at least and he wouldn’t try it again, it’d mean hugging was the new limit of their physical interaction… right? Because if a kiss wasn’t ok then touching boners would definitely be off the cards. Feeling his breath starting to come in quick, nervous bursts Jean leaned back just a bit, turned his head and clumsily pressed his mouth to Marcos with his eyes squeezed shut and his cheeks bright red and not the faintest clue on what he was supposed to do now that their mouths were touching because sure he’d rubbed one out with Marco - and Connie - many times but kissing was a whole new thing.

Jean was tense in Marco's arms after the kiss to the side of his head and Marco nearly pulled away, an apology on the tip of his tongue. Oh no, what if he'd upset the other again? Was he going to be yelled at for leading him on or something? Or just told off 'for his own good' or something absurd? But then Jean was pulling away instead and Marco felt himself forming the words in his mind, a thousand apologizes competing.

The words fizzled into nothingness a moment later though and he floundered brain trying to catch up with itself. Jean was _kissing_ him and his face was so red and his eyes were all scrunched and he just seemed so _determined_ about the whole thing. And sure, hugs were fine. Of course, kisses were fine. Anything he fucking _wanted_ was fine. And _oh hell_ , Marco didn't stand a fucking chance. Pulling the other man closer, Marco adjusted his arms to a more comfortable angle for them both. He returned the kiss with a practised ease but keeping it slow and light and just slightly teasing, lips moving only in small movements against Jean's and breaking away every so often. Talking was hard, but _this_ , this he could do.

Jean couldn’t help the muffled moan that rumbled out of him as Marco pulled him closer and kissed him back. He did his best to mimic Marco’s movements, the way his lips brushed against Jean’s, the pressure, the slight reprieve as he pulled away only to press back in again and Jean wrapped his arms around Marco’s shoulders and shifted so his knee was resting on the couch between them. This way he could turn his body more and it made kissing Marco much easier.

Jean pulled away to catch his breath and let his forehead rest upon Marcos, his eyes still closed but no longer scrunched tight and his lips slightly parted around his soft gasps for air. _This_ was the kind of light headed he’d wanted, not the strained sort he’d been feeling earlier. “Marco…” He couldn’t help saying the other man’s name, it felt both odd and familiar on his tongue and he groaned again, pressing himself against the other man as much as he could without literally climbing in the freckled stars lap.

“Marco, kiss me more… Deeper?” He whispered, still not opening his eyes because despite the somewhat bold words he was so fucking embarrassed. This wasn’t at _all_ like the times they’d been close in their masks or over the screen of their phones through snapchat, this was _new_ and exciting and terrifying.

Marco couldn't help a shudder at the breathy way his name sounded on Jean's lips. If he sounded like that from just a kiss then… Marco didn't dare to let himself think on it. His fingers moved in small idle patterns where they wrapped around the smaller man. And he was so goddamn _close_ to him but this wasn't like the foggy sort of rutting lust whenever they were in the club. No, this was… _tender_ and passionate.

And then Jean was speaking again and yeah no Marco was totally screwed. The thought of 'no' didn't even cross his mind as he closed the space between them again. This time he was less careful, deepening the kiss with a swipe of his tongue and insistent movements of his lips. A small breathy groan escaped him because yes it turned out he really _did_ like the other's lips, which he had spent no small amount of time picturing from the rare photo glimpses. The tips of his fingers trembled against Jean's body with the effort it took to just not start touching him anywhere, _everywhere_ . Because the urge was _so_ strong. And they'd been so close before, done so much _more_ than this but somehow this just seemed… _more_. More intense, more intimate, just… more. He pulled back only slightly to nip at the other's lips teasingly a few times before deepening the kiss again.

Jean was trying his hardest to ignore the way Marco’s hands were moving on him. The touches soft and not at all sexual but Jean’s body still thrummed with overeager anticipation as the other man kissed him again, this time deeper. Jean gasped at the first touch of tongue and opened his mouth with a soft groan as he again copied Marco’s actions and tasted him with small, unpractised flicks of his tongue and the kneading pressure of his lips. Marco tasted so good, Jean thought it might feel a little gross or at least weird and slimy to kiss another person this way but no… all he felt was tender and sensual and _sensitive_.

One of Jean’s hands left it’s place on Marco’s back and he laced his fingers through the other man’s hair, dark strands tickling his knuckles as he tilted his head and pressed a little harder, moaned a little louder and nipped at Marco’s lower lip with a soft, unsure growl. He was getting hard, there was no denying it now despite his focus being on the kiss it sent shivers through him, it made his breath come out fast and heavy through his nose as he worked his mouth and tongue and Jean forced himself to pull away. Placing a hand on Marco’s chest to steady himself as he looked off to the side, cheeks and ears burning with embarrassment as the tightness in his wet jeans throbbed and self-consciousness flooded him. “S-sorry … that felt too good…”

Marco found Jean's unsure and inexperienced actions enticing. It felt weirdly _good_ to be the one who the other man was following, Marco taking care to guide him along. And oh _god_ those little noises that escaped him were like little jolts of raw electricity in Marco's brain. And then Jean's fingers were in his hair and he couldn't help a small moan against his lips, choked off by a whimper at the nipping.

Suddenly, he was _very_ glad Jean was only pressed up against him because if he _had_ been in his lap, there was no doubt he would have felt how embarrassingly hard Marco was from just a kiss. It normally took a lot more than that to get him this worked up. He supposed it was just the pent up frustration of having wanted to do this for _so long_ . But he… they… _couldn't_ … But _god_ he wanted to. So badly.

When the younger man pulled away, Marco had to stifle a small whine. He shivered at the hand against his chest, shaking his head quickly. His voice was breathy when he spoke, cheeks flushed as he moved one hand to touch Jean's cheek gently in a simple caress. "God no, don't… don't apologize. That was really… nice. I just…" Marco debated with himself for a moment before deciding on honesty. "I just don't think I could control myself much longer if you… kept that up. But _fuck_ I don't _want_ to…" He tipped his head back against the couch with a frustrated groan. He wasn't sure if he was more frustrated at himself or the situation. "Fuck, Jean, I want you… So badly."

“Yeah…” Jean agreed quietly about how nice that had felt, he could kiss Marco for hours - he _wanted_ to right now actually but he was also conscious of the fact they’d just had a major misunderstanding about identity and age and Marco would probably end up feeling bad if anything more happened right now. Jean leaned into the touch to his cheek as the other man spoke and he nodded his understanding, amber gaze shifting to look Marco in the eyes.

“You’ll feel bad though, if we did anything now… right?” He chewed his lip, his stomach feeling muddled and his dick feeling harder at Marco’s confession. He wanted to do so much more with Marco _right now_ too, he wanted to kiss him more, not just his mouth but all over his body and god did he want to finally suck the man’s cock - even though he’d never done that to anyone before. Jean couldn’t help the deep groan he made at the thought and blinked in embarrassed surprise because he hadn’t _meant_ to let the sound out. “I… I think I need to borrow your bathroom-!” He squeaked, fidgeting and holding the hem of his sweater down over his lap.

Marco hesitated at the question, breath catching under Jean's gaze. On the one hand, they had already done so much in the dark lights and anonymity of their masks. On the other hand that was before he _knew_. And… It was one thing to be able to honestly just say he didn't know but… And yet… did it make him terrible that he still wanted to? This was still the guy he'd been slowly getting deeper and deeper feelings for for months now. It was just one detail that had changed. Granted it was kind of an _important_ detail but… Jean was still Jean.

The sound of Jean's groan snapped him out of his thoughts quickly. The squeaky words and… was he really trying to hide his boner with his sweater? Marco couldn't help a warm chuckle. He really was _precious_. And so hilariously awkward. And… He just wanted to... Marco let out a shaky breath before moving. This was either a really good idea or a really terrible idea or some nightmarish combination of both. He moved his hands to Jean's hips before all but lifting the younger man into his lap, legs on either side of his own. He shook his head quickly, a devilish smirk playing at his lips that he knew would only make his mask suddenly seem all the more fitting. "You're not jacking off in my bathroom, Jean. Not when I've got you so fucking close to me… I couldn't stand it." He licked his lips slowly before making a small popping noise. "...Besides, I won't tell if you won't."

Marco paused for a moment with a thoughtful expression. His hands wandered slightly along Jean's hips for a moment. "Mm… But no actual sex. And you fucking _tell me_ if _anything_ makes you uncomfortable. Even a little. Deal?"

Jean was expecting to be laughed at and that was _sort of_ ok since he could see the humour in the situation as well, but he wasn’t expecting the hands on his hips or the way Marco lifted and moved him like he was a fucking feather or something because jesus christ now he was straddling the other man’s lap. The icing on the cake was the expression on Marco’s face that went straight to Jean’s dick and he groaned as the other man spoke and licked his lips and _shit_.

  
“I… I won't tell…” He whispered, hands grabbing hold of Marco’s shoulders tightly. “I’ll tell you, and… and no sex is fine so _jesus, fuck_ Marco touch me…” Jean tried to adopt the confidence he felt when he was wearing his mask or using snapchat, though it felt sort of forced right now and he knew he was blushing all the way down his neck. He rolled his pelvis down against the other man, feeling Marco’s erection and moaning. _He_ had done that, him. Jean Kirschstein had given Marco fucking Bodt a raging boner - more than once… _much more_ than once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also check out [Aural Fixations](http://auralfixations.tumblr.com/) for additional tidbits of this fic. And [Hei's Blog](http://heikijin.tumblr.com/) where you can find some cute relevant art. Tracking: "fic: ogwan" on Tumblr.


	4. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pent up tensions get unleashed. Steam gets let off. But everybody has their skeletons.

Marco groaned at the way Jean sounded asking--no,  _ demanding _ that he touch him. And then Jean was rolling his hips and-- "Oh  _ fuck _ Jean." His hands gripped tighter at Jean's hips for a moment. And then he was moving. This he could do. No thoughts, no complexities, just  _ touch _ . Marco brought one hand to slip under Jean's shirt, up his side and across his back, fingers splaying across warm skin, keeping him close. His other hand trailed down, palming the hardness in his pants easily and grinding his hand against it. 

Rolling his own hips up slightly, Marco gave a soft moan. He moved from fondling the other man's erection to undoing his pants, making it seem easy with only one hand. Sliding the zipper down swiftly, he slipped his fingers under the fabric to give another slow, grinding squeeze of his palm. Marco leaned in, nuzzling Jean's neck and inhaling his scent with a groan before dotting soft kisses and small nips and licks across it, careful to not leave any marks. 

Jean  _ loved _ the tight grip on his hips as Marco swore and  _ said his fucking name oh god _ . The feeling of a hand slipping under his shirt had Jean trembling but the thing that really made him writhe was the hand that pressed itself against his cock and palmed him hard. Jean couldn’t stop the shuddered groan or the quiet almost sob of pleasure as he nudged his hips towards the pressure. Then his jeans were being undone deftly and quickly and Jean hardly had time to feel self conscious about his Calvin Klein briefs before the pressure was back and he was rocking against Marco’s hand moaning.

“Oh f _ uck… Marco! _ ” Jean choked on the other man’s name and threaded his fingers through Marco’s hair again to keep his face close, the sensation on his neck sending trembles through him and intensifying the throb of his erection. Jean’s free hand moved to wiggle beneath Marco’s shirt via the neck hole, fingernails scraping the other man’s back lightly as a particularly pleasant jolt shot through him making him jerk. 

“D-don’t stop oh god… you feel so good… y-your mouth feels so fuckin’ good.” It was odd having only the sound of their breathing and moans around them, Jean was so used to the thudding of bass and treble or the silent snaps of time caught through their snapchat. The younger man spread his legs a little and ground his ass down onto Marco’s lap as the hand in the other man’s dark hair tightened it’s grip.

Marco groaned at the fingers in his hair, a noticeable shudder running through him.  _ Fuck _ Jean said his name so fucking  _ appealingly _ . He wanted so badly to hear him scream it when he came, to hear it crack around the force of an orgasm. The fabric beneath his fingers was soaked, letting him make out more of the contour of Jean's cock. Which Marco certainly wasn't complaining about as he palmed and squeezed at him. 

"Ngh… Fuck, Jean…" He shuddered again around a small moan at the nails against his skin. Fuck he wanted to feel the other do more of that. Marco gave a particularly hard nip and let out a small growl as Jean ground his ass down against his cock, laving over the spot with his tongue a moment later. The pressure of Jean's ass against him felt so good even through the layers of fabric. 

The un-muffled clear sounds coming from the man in his lap were dizzying, making his skin tingle. And his words only made it all the better. Marco chuckled, dragging his nails lightly down Jean's back. "Mouthy, noisy little thing, aren't you…? Mmh, I  _ like _ that…" When the hand on Jean's back reached his waist, Marco moved his other hand to meet it, guiding the smaller man to sit up slightly as he moved to tug down the wet clothing in his way. "These seem a bit… tight. Maybe you should lose them." 

Jean shuddered again and couldn’t help digging his nails into Marco’s back as he was nipped and growled at, the sensation making his cock throb hard enough that he was sure he was leaking by now. “Y-yeah? You like it  _ huh.. nhnhh. _ ” Jean whispered and unable to help the small twitch of a smirk because shit, he was sure Marco could be  _ just _ as noisy and that turned him on even more. The only issue was he didn’t yet have the confidence to elicit those noises.

Jean sat when he was prompted, the hands at his waistband making him stiffen slightly and chew his lip as he looked down into his lap. They  _ were _ uncomfortable, but up until now Marco hadn’t seen his thighs - Jean had made sure of that. In addition all of the physical encounters and snap chats had been in dim light and Jean wasn’t sure how ‘nice’ his cock would look in the full daylight of the other man’s lounge.

“Y-yeah…” He whispered after a long moment, lifting himself and placing his hands over the top of Marco’s to slowly and almost teasingly guide his jeans and underwear down over his ass. “Don’t look down..” Jean was panting heavily as he spoke now, kneeling up enough to pull first one leg and then the other out of his jeans and dropping them on the floor before sitting quickly back in Marco’s lap and tugging the jumper down to cover his groin and the top half of his thighs. It did little to hide the bulge of his cock though, still hard and twitching beneath the knit fabric.

Marco stilled at Jean's hesitation, pulling back from his neck to cast a worried glance. He stayed perfectly still, waiting with as much patience as he could manage. He had damn well meant it about not pushing the younger man if he was uncomfortable. Then finally Jean was moving again and Marco let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. 

The breath quickly turned into a long groan as his hands were covered and being made to go so damn  _ slow _ with the act of stripping off the articles of clothing. He felt his cock throb insistently in the tightness of his own pants at the slow reveal of his skin and nearly whimpered. It seemed Jean did have  _ some _ inclination of how to tease. 

"What…?" Of  _ course _ Jean's comment made him look down. How could it not? Marco bit his lip at the sight of the bulge beneath the thin fabric and how he seemed to be trying to hide it. He was almost certain Jean could probably feel Marco's cock twitching against his ass. But there was something else… 

Marco frowned, reaching out to tug the fabric up on Jean's thigh slightly. And then more when his first suspicions were confirmed. Scars? A  _ lot _ of them. It was obvious what they were. "Oh Jean…" Marco's heart physically  _ ached _ at the sight. In an instant, the sexuality of the situation was forgotten at least for the moment. He brushed a thumb carefully across one of the angrier looking marks. They didn't look  _ too _ recent, but they didn't exactly look  _ old _ either. "Jean… Are… are you still?" He looked back up at the younger man's face, overwhelming worry evident in his expression. He hoped he didn't look judgemental, because that wasn't his intention. But he also knew this spoke to much bigger things. And how easy it was to destroy yourself from inside without realizing it. 

Oh  _ fuck _ Marco had looked down. Why did he do that when Jean asked him  _ not _ to, why did Jean even take his goddamn pants of. He felt a sick wave of shame wash over him as Marco pushed the sweater higher up to reveal more of his scars and Jean looked off to one side. Still holding the hem of the sweater with one hand the other lifted so his forearm was covering his mouth and he hoped his eyes weren’t watering  _ too _ much.

“I’m not… not for about 7 months.” Jean’s voice came out quiet and cracked and he quivered with the effort to not cry. Every time he looked at his legs he was reminded of the years he hated himself  _ so _ much, when he felt like he had no control of his surroundings or even his own feelings, a time when he was so disillusioned with everything the only relief he found was in the form of a box cutter and a few useless bandaids. He wasn’t proud of himself back then, but he  _ was _ still here, he hadn’t given up, he’d made it through and he’d not cut himself for  _ seven months _ and he was sort of proud of  _ that _ . But it was hard to feel that way when he was being inspected this way, when it had obviously ruined the other man’s mood and was quickly ruining his own and fuck it was gross looking wasn’t it.

“T-that's why I said don’t look.. I know it’s gross… I  _ know _ … I- I tried so hard to keep them covered in the pictures.” His voice hitched and he covered his eyes with his arm now instead of his mouth, glasses pressing uncomfortably into the bridge of his nose but he didn’t care.

"…Okay… That's… that's good." Marco gave a small if shaky nod, voice equally quiet. It was slightly comforting at least to know that Jean wasn't doing that anymore but… Seven months wasn't a long time either and from the varying shades of the scars it looked like he'd been doing it for longer than he hadn't. But it was something. It was a step, a start. 

Marco sighed slightly at Jean's words, shaking his head. He peeled Jean's hand from its grip on the sweater before moving to grab the one by his face as well. Marco's grip was unrelenting, squeezing slightly as he looked right at Jean's face. His expression was serious but not harsh, eyes earnest. "Jean. You have  _ got _ to stop with the gross thing. You are not gross and nothing about you is gross. Especially some shitty scars. They're  _ part _ of you. Deal with it. Accept it. It happened. The  _ important _ thing is they're just part of your  _ past _ and not your present or your future. Okay?" 

Marco continued on without stopping. He  _ couldn't _ stop. Not on this. "Yes, it's really fucked up and really tragic that you ever had any reason to feel that…  _ awful _ about anything. Yes, it breaks my heart a little and I would do  _ anything _ to take that… pain out of your heart. Because  _ fuck _ you're beautiful and you don't deserve that… that  _ hurt _ . …No one does, really. But life fucking  _ sucks _ sometimes and this shit happens. But god, look at you, look where you are now. Seven  _ months _ ! That's  _ good _ ! That's  _ huge _ ! Good for you! You got here! And you're gonna do better, I know it. A year! Two! Ten! …I just… I didn't expect it, is all… It surprised me. Okay? I'm… I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." He gave another small squeeze to the hands in his grasp as he fell silent. 

Jean didn’t resist at all when Marco took his hands and held them, showing his face and leaving his sweater free to resume it’s usual length and expose his lower body. At first he couldn’t look at the other man, but as Marco spoke at length he slowly turned his head until he was looking at the freckled man and wondering what the hell he’d done in life to deserve to be sitting in the lap of one of the most - if not _the_ most - amazing man in the world. 

“I- I’m not ashamed of them.. I just don’t want other people to make fun of it… or find me more unattractive. If it was just me it wouldn’t matter b-but I want you to like me  _ s-so bad _ Marco.” Jean’s voice broke and he was crying again. He wondered briefly if he cried too often for a guy of his age but he couldn’t stop himself and he curled forwards, pressing his forehead to Marco’s shoulder and trying to take a deep breath to calm himself. It was ok, this whole thing was  _ ok _ because Marco was going to find out someday and it just so happened it had to be  _ this _ day on top of everything else. Marco  _ still _ liked him, he’d said so, so it was  _ fine. _

“I-I ruined the moment, heuh.” He laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the situation and change the subject, hands still clasped in Marco’s. 

Marco squirmed under Jean's stare. He was looking at him like he was some sort of  _ god _ who could do no wrong or something. And he really… wasn't. And it made him uncomfortable to be thought of that way. He almost said as much. But then Jean was crying again and Marco just leaned his head against the side of Jean's with a soft sigh as the younger man tried to collect himself. "I  _ do _ like you…" He reiterated the words quietly, just loud enough to be heard, with another squeeze of his hands. 

"Mm…" Marco hummed with a small laugh, shrugging his shoulders. "Well that's up to you, really. I mean I'm not going to complain about having a hot half naked guy in my lap regardless. And, no offense, but I don't think it takes much to get you going. But if you wanna just order some takeout and I can loan you something to wear while we toss your pants in the dryer, that's okay too." He hesitated. "But either way just… please stop looking at me like I'm some sort of shiny celestial thing. I don't shit rainbows. We've all got skeletons, okay? Some of them are just more obvious than others. But anyway… Yeah uhm, whatever you wanna do is fine." 

Jean was so thankful for the way Marco said they could just get food, they didn’t have to continue and that meant a  _ lot… _ but Jean  _ did _ want to continue because even though he’d been exposed sooner than he’d planned he was still half naked in the lap of a man he knew to have  _ very _ good hand skills, not to mention the way Marco could grind his hips.

He couldn’t help the soft chuckle rumbling out of him at the shitting rainbows comment and he shook with it for a moment before speaking. “I-I know Marco… I know. Sorry… I know you’re a closet dork and you shit like every other motherfucker, hehehu…” He started to laugh again and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of Marco’s neck as the tension had been drained from him by that one comment. “I wanna suck your dick.” He mumbled against Marco’s throat.

"Yeah, yeah." Marco rolled his eyes as Jean laughed at his comment. That wasn't what he meant, but at least Jean was  _ laughing _ and god that was so much better than his heartbreaking tears. He moved his hands back to the younger man's hips when he felt Jean's arms around his shoulders. A shudder ran through him at the unexpected kiss against his neck. 

Marco's breath caught in his throat at the other man's words, barely having made them out. Did he hear that right? He definitely heard that right. His grip tightened on Jean's hips and oh hell that idea was enough to get him half hard again. Jean's lips, those gorgeous lips, wrapped around his cock. Marco's cock sliding past those lips. "I… you… u-uhm…" Marco swallowed thickly. "I… If that's what y-you want." An internal mantra that consisted mostly of encouraging pleas remained thankfully inside his head. 

Jean murred at the hands that came back to rest on his hips and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his features at the older man’s stuttered response. Oh  _ yeah _ Jean liked to make Marco react like that, it felt good making the other man fumble over his responses when it came to sex. Well… sexal situations, not actual sex since they had yet to do that.

“I want.” He said and nipped at Marco’s neck before sliding backwards, off of Marco’s lap and then between his legs as the younger of the two kneeled on the floor. Jean looked up and bit his lip, nervous but excited because he’d  _ finally _ be able to taste the other man’s cock and he’d wanted to for so long, but obviously the masks got in the way. Jean grabbed Marco’s thighs and slid his hands up towards the other man’s crotch slowly, still looking up at Marco’s freckled face as he went. “I’ve never done it before… but I’ve thought about it.  _ A lot. _ Is that ok?” He asked, thanking whatever god there may be that his voice didn’t tremble because right now he wanted to appear at least a bit more confident than he had so far today. They  _ would _ get to feel good, damnit.

Marco shuddered at the sight of the other all but oozing off his lap to kneel between his legs. Half-naked Jean sliding off his lap wearing only a dorky baggy sweater. Marco swooned slightly. His cock twitched and stirred. Earlier unfulfilled need was easily reignited by the way Jean's hands were sliding up his legs so fucking  _ slow _ and  _ torturous _ . 

"Y-yeah." He nodded before taking a breath to calm himself. No, he was  _ not _ going to let Jean be the one to fluster him. It was supposed to be the other way around. Marco reached out, running his fingers gently through Jean's hair and down the side of his face, that teasing smirk toying at the edges of his face. "Getting to be the first one to feel those pretty lips of yours wrapped around their cock? I'm not going to complain."

Jean tried not to feel like he was fighting a losing battle in regards to attitude - though in all honesty with how inexperienced he was and how riled up he was quickly becoming he was on a road to failure. He pushed higher with his hands and let them knead at the quickly growing tent in Marco’s pants as he licked his lips and finally dropped his gaze to what he was doing. “G-good cuz I want you to fuck my face… I’m pretty good with my gag reflex.” He unzipped Marcos fly and button, sliding the fingers of his left hand into the open V it created and palmed Marco through his underwear.

Jean’s own dick was already half hard again and quickly rising and he groaned as his breath sped up too. With the hand that wasn’t teasing Marco through his boxers Jean grabbed one of Marco’s hands and lifted it to his head, looking up at the other man again through his bangs. “Tell me how you want it?”

Marco couldn't help bucking his hips slightly as Jean kneaded at his cock, choking down a breathy sigh at the way he licked his lips. Marco  _ very _ much had a thing for those pretty lips. The younger man's words combined with how his fingers slipped into the freckled man's pants to palm at him drew out a groan from his throat. Fucking Jean's face, just really going for it. His dick throbbed under the other's touch. "Oh… God..."

When given the chance, Marco threaded his fingers through the younger man's hair. He tugged gently before running his fingers through it again and tugging a bit harder. Marco licked his lips slowly, carding his fingers through the strands again. "Just follow your gut and give me everything you've got. I wanna see what you can do. I'll let you know if I need you to do something different."

Marco’s voice shot straight to Jean’s dick as he said ‘oh god’ and the younger of the two groaned thickly in response. Jean tilted his head and groaned as his hair was stroked and pulled. “Kay..” He said as he was told to just do what he thought he should. 

Without saying anything more because of impatience Jean got to his knees a bit better and used both hands to guide Marco’s cock from between the folds of his underwear and the open fly of his pants. God it looked so good, his own dick throbbed and he could feel the slick wetness of pre-cum staining the inside of the jumper he was wearing. “Fuck Marco your cock’s so gorgeous.” He groaned and leaned in abruptly, lapping at the crown with a stuttered gasp and his eyes closing tight.

Jean held the base of Marco’s dick in one hand whilst the other slipped inside the man’s boxers and cupped his balls. His mouth got to work licking and sucking small sections of hot, hard flesh punctuated by his own breathy moans at what he was doing and Jean finally ventured to take Marco into his mouth. Wrapping lips around the very tip of the other man’s cock and sucking with a slight hollowing of his cheeks before pushing further down, down far enough that the end nudged the back of his throat and he swallowed around it to prevent himself from gagging, although his eyes watered.

A soft hiss escaped Marco's lips when the relatively cool air hit the heated flesh of his cock. "Nngh…" Marco groaned in response to the other's words and the sudden licking. His hips strained upward slightly when Jean wrapped his fingers around his cock and cupped at his balls. The way the younger man lapped and sucked across his dick, seeming to so thoroughly  _ enjoy _ himself, had Marco biting his lip with a series of small whimpers, breath catching occasionally in his throat when Jean sucked at a particularly sensitive spot. He kept his fingers running slowly through soft hair, urging him on gently. 

It took everything Marco had to not simply buck up into Jean's mouth when those lips wrapped around the tip of his cock and  _ sucked _ . His fingers clenched in Jean's hair momentarily. But  _ oh god _ then he was moving down and he let out a shuddering breath that broke into a low moan when he fucking  _ swallowed _ . Marco gripped tighter at Jean's hair, fighting the urge to let his head fall back. He wanted to  _ see _ this. The way Jean looked right then, eyes just watery and mouth full of cock-- _ his _ cock… He looked fucking  _ gorgeous _ . Marco wondered if the younger man could feel how the older man's cock throbbed in his throat at the sight. His breaths came shorter, shuddering. "Oh fuck, Jean…" 

The hand in his hair was making Jean’s own dick twitch even more and he groaned and hummed around Marco’s erection as the other man swore and said his name. The way Marco was breathing, too, had such a strong effect on Jean he had to use the hand that had been on the base of Marco’s cock to reach down and wrap around his own dick with a whimper and he pulled back with a hard suck, making sure that his tongue pressed against the underside at the very tip. 

Jean took that opportunity to take a deep breath in through his nose before pushing back down and swallowing around the flesh again, managing to get all the way down so his nose was nestled against the coarse hair at the base of the older man’s cock. His eyes watered even more and the tears finally broke free to run down his face as he repeated his deep, slow bobbing motion - accompanied by sucks and the odd undulation of his tongue. He was panting through his nose as much as he could but as he pulled back for the sixth time Jean had to open his mouth and gasp, saliva dribbling down his chin and he let out a loud, unrestrained moan and started to jerk himself off.

“M-Marco.. _ fuck.. _ ” Jean’s voice was already hoarse from his actions but he leaned back in and probed the slit in the crown of Marco’s cock with his tongue. “F-fuck my mouth… oh god  _ please… _ ” He all but begged, body shuddering with the movement of his hand on himself and he wrapped his mouth around the other man again with a groan of anticipation.

Marco was a mess of low groans and broken almost-whining noises as Jean's mouth moved slowly along his cock, tongue doing absolutely  _ sinful _ things. Surprisingly enough, he was pretty  _ good _ considering it was his first time. Marco's fingers tangled in Jean's hair, clenching and relaxing but not guiding him. Not yet, anyway. It took significant effort to not just buck up into that inviting mouth, but he wanted to see what Jean did on his own first. 

"God I love your mouth…" His eyes were focused on Jean's face--whenever they didn't slip shut with a strong moan--taking in the way the tears looked on his flushed cheeks, eyes blurry behind his glasses, swollen lips wrapped around Marco's cock. But then the younger of the two pulled back, saliva running down his chin, moaning and stroking himself and  _ begging _ Marco to fuck his face. And oh  _ fuck _ . 

Jean didn't have to ask twice. "Fuck, you look so good, Jean." Marco's grip tightened as he bucked his hips up slightly, pushing the other's head down on him. He moved his free hand to support himself slightly as he thrust in and out of the younger man's mouth slowly and shallowly at first, then faster and deeper. Marco groaned, head falling back in pleasure for a few moments before he was able to force himself to look back at Jean. He kept as steady of a grip on the other's hair as he could as he guided the movements of his head, occasionally gripping tighter. "So fucking hot…" And oh  _ fuck _ he'd wanted this for so long, Marco found himself working  _ very _ hard to just not lose himself to it. He didn't think it would take him long at all to cum. Not like this. 

Jean was already blushing, but at the other man’s praise his face got redder and he moaned again. Then Marco was tightening his grip in Jean’s hair and guiding the teens head down on his cock as he thrust into Jean’s waiting mouth like he’d wanted,  _ fantasised _ about for so long. He moved his hand out from the other man’s pants at the first thrust and was now holding onto a firm thigh for support as he groaned and half sobbed around the cock stuffing his mouth. It felt so fucking good.

The hand on himself sped up and his own hips began to buck into it as Marco’s movements became harder and faster and  _ deeper _ and Jean’s breaths kept getting cut off but it was  _ amazing _ . “Mnh- mmm!” He swallowed around Marco as best he could, sucking hard and digging his fingers into the older man’s thigh as he felt himself come close to orgasm. This time he didn’t warn marco,  _ couldn't _ with his mouth full, so he choked down a loud vibrating sob as he came hard against the inside of his sweater, body twitching and tensing as he felt his head go light and dizzy with the intensity of it.

Marco was quickly losing himself to the sensations around his cock. Jean's mouth was just too hot, too wet, too fucking  _ good _ around him, the vibrations of his groans and pleasured sobs going right through him. "Fuck… J-Jean… S'good… Fuck…" He spilled a series of incoherent moans and sounds from his lips. 

And oh fuck Marco was already so  _ close _ . And then Jean came with Marco's dick deep in his mouth and that  _ sound _ just absolutely  _ resonated _ through his cock. " _ F-fuck! _ " Marco cried out, head falling back and bucking his hips erratically a few more times before stilling as his own climax hit him suddenly and he came into the younger man's mouth. Breathless, he collapsed back onto the couch, fingers falling tiredly from dark blond hair. 

"Oh… fuck… S-sorry… I… couldn't…" Marco panted out the words, blinking the stars out from behind his eyes as he tried to focus back on Jean. And hell, he hadn't even been able to give proper  _ warning _ with the way that goddamn sound just shot through him. "You… okay?" 

Jean had no warning of Marco’s orgasm, at least none he could sense through the post orgasmic haze he was in. So when the first hot shots of cum hit his mouth he groaned and then tried swallowing only to pull back when Marco went lax and pant heavily, mouth hanging open and sticky strings of cum seeping out to mingle with the tears dripping from his chin.

It took everything Jean had in him not to just collapse face first into Marco’s groin, instead sagging sideways and gasping for breath, eyes closed and body trembling still as the other man apologised and all Jean could do was give a soft grunt in response because he wasn’t sure he was capable of coherent speech. After an intense struggle with his senses Jean managed to finally open his eyes and blearily look up at Marco, an almost goofy and  _ very _ fucked out grin spreading across his features as he shakily licked cum from his lips and swallowed what was left in his mouth. “Tasty…” He croaked, sounding almost drunk in his sated state.

Marco would have frowned in worry when Jean slumped over sideways if he weren't still panting breathlessly, trying to regain his senses. But then the younger man opened his eyes with that  _ look _ that was just so fucking  _ pleased _ and licked his lips. Marco couldn't help it, he flat-out whimpered, his softening dick giving a halfhearted twitch. He was pretty sure that sight would linger in his fantasies for quite some time.

"Well… uhm…  _ wow _ ." How the fuck could Jean just be so fucking  _ hot _ ? Marco breathed his words through a breathless chuckle as he started to compose himself. He looked down at the other and smirked. Reaching out, he ran a hand through Jean's hair and tousled it slightly, smirk toying at his lips. "You look happy with yourself. Mm… Sweater's a mess though."

Jean murred a pleased noise at the praise from Marco and wiped his chin with his sleeve as the other man composed himself and ruffled Jean’s hair, the teenager grunting again but this time in a slightly perturbed way because he wasn’t a dog damnit. 

When Marco commented on his state of dress Jean looked down and blinked. “Oh…” He said flatly, lifting the hem of the sweater with a wince at the feeling it caused. “O-oh gross… it’s really wet inside.” Jean held the front of it out so it wasn’t touching his skin and  _ pouted _ because there was no way he was going to be able to go home wearing a cum soggy sweater. “I… I can’t sit here in this, Marco it feels really bad.” Jean said, scrunching his nose and looking up at the other man. Still sleepy seeming and yet to move from his spot on the floor.

Marco snorted at Jean's reaction when he realized how much of a mess his sweater was, rolling his eyes slightly. Well no shit, had he really not noticed? Then again, he did seem a bit… dazed still. He shrugged easily, stretching before doing up his pants. "So just take it off then." 

Marco paused mid-zip at the realization that he'd just inadvertently suggested having the other entirely  _ naked _ in his apartment before hastily adding onto his sentence as he hurriedly finished zipping his pants. "I mean… I'll… I'll find you something else you can wear, okay?" Marco really hoped the sudden flush of his face at the concept was hidden in the post-orgasmic redness already on his face. 

Standing quickly, Marco headed for his bedroom to find something. He spoke a bit louder as he walked and flipped through his closet, still a bit flustered by the thought. "And then i-if you wanna go or stay and actually eat something or whatever, that's all good. There's a bunch of takeout places around; menus are on the counter. Your choice, pick of the lot. I… I did originally ask you to lunch after all, right?" Marco was  _ distinctly _ sure that a mouthful of his  _ cum _ did  _ not _ exactly count in that equation. 

Jean looked at Marco with an almost horrified expression of sheer embarrassment on his features when Marco simply said ‘take it off’. The thought of walking around naked in front of the other man at this stage was… was.. the was  _ no _ way he could do that yet. he was about to protest when Marco corrected himself and Jean gave a small nod. “T-that sounds good, thanks.” 

When Marco was out of the room Jean stood up on shaking legs and managed to pull his sweater off without covering himself in the cum that was on it, using it to wipe himself clean as he awkwardly shoved it in his bag with an embarrassed sort. He’d definitely be doing his own washing when he got home there was no way he could let his mum find this. Marcos offer of food from the other room made Jean’s stomach growl and remind him he’d hardly consumed anything, in-fact he was sure the largest volume of anything that had made it into his stomach was Marco’s jizz and he hadn’t even swallowed the whole load.

  
“I like the sound of that.” He said quietly, hoping Marco could hear that because his voice was too wrecked to speak very loud. Jean padded over to the counter and picked up the menus, instantly drawn to the one for sushi because dear god he’d been living on cup ramen and sushi sounded so gloriously filling and the  _ fish _ … he groaned a little and unfolded the menu, looking at it and deciding he fancied a mixed platter. When he’d decided Jean held it up over his crotch and waited for Marco to come back with a change of clothes. 


	5. Insecurity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m more worried… about you getting bored or… or like finding someone better -not that it’d be hard - to have something like this with - I... what even is this?”

It took a good few minutes before Marco found something he thought might actually  _ fit _ , given how much smaller the younger man's frame was. He settled on a pair of grey sweatpants for the sake of the drawstring and a black sweater that had been tight on him for a while. It was an awkward combination that made part of him cringe, but at least the pants wouldn't fall off and the sweater maybe wouldn't look so big with the colour. 

Since Jean was obviously no longer by the couch, Marco headed for the kitchen. He hesitated before deciding to approach with the clothes offered out in front of him and his eyes distinctly pointed down towards his own feet. Jean had looked so  _ horrified _ at the idea of nudity and Marco didn't want to risk unsettling him further. "I uhm… I don't really have anything that would fit you, so this will have to do." 

Jean heard Marco coming and froze, a mixture of anxiety and playfulness mingled within him and when the other man came into the room staring at his feet and holding out the clothes, Jean couldn’t stop himself from shaking the menu over his crotch so it made a slight noise and he said. “Hey, Marco. You ever eaten sushi off a naked dude before?”

He bit his lip, trying to both not laugh and also keep the blush that was threatening to form  _ again _ from blossoming. He wasn’t sure what sort of reaction he’d get from the other man, but considering his earlier attempts he was mostly expecting some sort of teasing, confident comment.

Marco reflexively looked up at the rustling sound and instantly half-regretted it. Jean was standing naked in Marco's kitchen with a takeout menu over his genitals. He let out an almost wheezing breath of air. He was almost certain that if he hadn't just cum, he'd be at least half-hard again. But that sound, however, quickly gave way to an almost dying-sounding noise. "Nyyyeeeeegghh?" That was the extent of Marco's not-so-eloquent reply for a moment as his brain quickly and  _ far _ too specifically visualized that concept involving  _ Jean _ . Oh. 

"I uhm…" Marco cleared his throat, cheeks bright red as he very distinctly looked away again, this time off to the side. A slight hint of a smirk crept across his face as he carefully worded his reply. "N-not a  _ guy _ , no. Now would you take these already or should I just leave you naked?" 

The reaction and the  _ noise _ Marco made in response to his teasing had Jean snorting in laughter and pressing a hand to his stomach, over top of the menu to make sure it stayed in place. That was… that was one of the funniest noises he’d ever heard and  _ Marco Bodt _ had made it. “O-Oh god… oh  _ god _ what was that  _ noise _ .” He gasped and his laughter turned into giggles as he calmed himself down enough to listen to the other man’s next words.

The hint was like a bucket of ice being thrown over him but Jean made himself keep giggling and grinning for a moment because he didn’t want Marco to  _ know _ it had made him feel all sorts of jealous and inferior. “H-heuh, figures.” He said as he took the clothes and quickly pulled them on, dropping the menu on the floor momentarily as he did so, the pants were baggy and despite Jean tying them tightly they hung low on his pelvis. The sharp angles of his hip bones and a hint of pubic hair on show before he covered them by pulling on the sweater.

“Thanks.” He said more subdued, voice still croaky and wrecked as he bent and scooped up the menu from the floor.

It didn't escape Marco the way Jean's laugh suddenly turned artificial at his comment. He felt a mix of compassion for and reassurance from Jean's obvious jealousy along with a slight vindictive spark. Marco crossed the space between them quickly, placing a small kiss on Jean's forehead as soon as he stood up and before he would have a chance to react. 

An odd sort of expression played across his face as he crossed his arms. "But if it makes you feel any better, not any girls either; your question was too specific. I prefer my food off of  _ plates _ not  _ people _ . But maybe that'll teach you to make fun of me and my weird noises. Rude." 

Marco paused for a moment. "Besides, that… I mean, yes, you're kind of cute when you're jealous. But you  _ do _ realize I have people hitting on me  _ a lot _ , right? I mean… That's a thing that happens. I  _ very _ specifically  _ avoid _ sleeping with the fans who throw themselves at me for my name  _ now. _ …Which basically means I avoid sleeping with anyone who hits on me. Which is… kind of… inconvenient actually. But anyway… I wasn't always that careful. Once upon a time, it was  _ novel _ and  _ cool _ . But it was really… just a hassle." He hesitated, biting his lip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ask his question. "…Is that… going to be a problem for you?" 

Jean was taken by surprise with the kiss to his forehead and, like he’d done in the alleyway with his lips, he lifted his hand and pressed his fingertips to the area. That was… kind of cute, he liked that. What he didn’t like was being reminded that yes, Marco had a whole buttload of super attractive people fawning over him.

“I… I know that already! Jeeze as soon as I saw who you were I knew it. I’m not jealous anyway… I mean…  _ fuck _ ok I am but it’s not like I have any right to be and it was  _ obvious _ from the get go in the club that you had way more experience than me and it wasn’t an issue. It’s still not… I’m more worried about… about…” He lapsed into a tense silence and looked down, staring at his feet, sock covered toes poking out just barely from the bottom of the borrowed pants.

If he voiced it, he’d be like a whiney, annoying broken record, right?  But… “I’m more worried… about you getting bored or… or like finding someone better -not that it’d be hard - to have something like this with - I.. what even  _ is, this? _ ” Wringing his hands Jean continued. “S-sorry look forget it, it’s stupid. I haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon cuz I ran out of ramen so I’m a bit cranky. S-so sushi would be great right about now… unless you want me to go I’ll just pick some more cups of ramen up on my way home it's fine.. like your probably busy anyway.” 

Marco couldn't help the slight traces of a smile at how the younger reached up to touch at his forehead. It was such an innocent gesture. It almost made Marco feel weird about the fact this guy had literally just been sucking his dick. …Almost, at least. 

He listened quietly as Jean spoke and then paused, waiting to see if he would speak again and actually voice his worry. At least he was admitting he was jealous, that was… relatively mature. Even if it was with an almost petulant-sounding tone. Marco dropped his arms back to his sides when the other continued finally. 

When Jean finished, Marco sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm not going to stand here and try to convince you that this is some storybook fantasy and I'll never get sick of you and you'll never get sick of me and it's some happily ever after. You're not  _ twelve _ . But I can say that right now I like you. And I can see myself liking you for a while. Because you're… cute and attractive and fuck you're the first person in… I don't even know how long to get to know  _ me _ first rather than my  _ name _ first and yet… Still like me? And that's… that means a lot to me. So as for what  _ this _ is…" Marco gestured unsurely, biting his lip. "I want you to be comfortable so… what do you want it to be? Relationship, casual sex, dating, two dudes who happen to rut in some dark club on a weekly basis, boyfriends? Whatever you're most comfortable with? What do you  _ want _ ?"

“I know  _ that _ , shit I know nothing lasts… I just… it’d be real nice if this lasted longer than a week or… or a month…”  _ Before you get tired of me _ . Then he was blushing because Marco again insisted that he found Jean cute and  _ special _ and he thought he might just melt into a puddle right there and then. 

When Marco asked Jean what  _ he _ wanted it to be he felt like he was going to drown in elation and under pressure because that sort of thing being left up to him was both amazing and terrifying. He swallowed thickly and felt his throat closing up a little, ignoring it in favour of croaking out a wobbly “I…  _ b-boyfriends? _ ” He questioned, as if it wouldn’t be ok, as if he hadn’t heard it right, oh god where was his inhaler? Jean hoped that Marco wouldn’t notice the slight wheeze to his breath or how it had become a bit more laboured. He didn’t want to break the moment just yet, he needed to confirm things. “I- that’s… you don’t have to… I…  _ fuck _ I’m shit at this I’ve never- nh…” He covered his mouth and licked his lips, breathing through it instead of his nose for a while as he lapsed into silence.

Marco continued biting at his lip behind a small lopsided smile and an encouraging raise of his brows when Jean picked out that word to repeat. He kept his hands carefully at his sides, making an effort to not wring them. The way Jean said it sounded so disbelieving as if he'd just ask him to walk across the ceiling or something equally absurd. Marco was a bit disbelieving himself that he'd even asked. This was not part of his plan, particularly given certain revelations about the other's age, but it just seemed  _ right _ . 

"I don't  _ have _ to, sure. But, I like you. And I sort of… very much  _ want _ to?" Marco paused for only a moment before frowning. The younger of the two was breathing very irregularly and seemed almost fragile. He reached out carefully, putting a hand on Jean's shoulder. His brows knitted together with worry. "Are you… going to faint in my kitchen? You don't sound so good. Please don't faint in my kitchen. Can I do something?" 

Jean thought he might puke from happy nerves as Marco said he  _ wanted _ to be Jean’s boyfriend. It seemed a little juvenile for him to need that reassurance let alone use the term ‘boyfriends’ in a way that made him want to giggle with glee, but Jean  _ was _ a teenager and this  _ was  _ his first relationship. Oh wow he was in a relationship, with  _ Marco Bodt _ . More than that - it was with a dorky, older but really kind of adorable guy with an amazing cock and fuck Jean really needed his inhaler.

“I-I’m ok.” He said at Marco’s worried fussing, lifting the hand not covering his mouth to hold the one Marco’ had placed on his shoulder. “I.. Just… my inhaler.” He coughed and dropped his hand to give an open mouthed smile. “Honest… I won't pass out.” He coughed again and decided this irritating, inconvenient condition was currently the bane of his existence. “Lemmie go- hck - lemme go get it.” Jean kept the smile on his face to reassure the other man, apparently it made people nervous when he had an attack, even mild ones like this - or so Connie had said.

Jean extracted himself from the other man's grasp and left the kitchen feeling like an idiot. He moved to where he’d dropped his pants on the floor next to the sofa, ignoring how the area still kind of smelled of sex, and fished his inhaler out of the pocket. It was a bit damp from where he’d spilled his drink in his lap but he wiped it with a hand and uncapped the mouthpiece, taking a grateful puff of the powdered medicine and doing his best to hold his breath for a moment despite his shoulders shaking with the effort not to cough.

Waiting a few moments before following, Marco slowly crossed his arms again. He wound up leaning against the wall, watching as the other fumbled with the inhaler and used it. Marco sighed to himself, shaking his head to himself slightly. This guy really was the embodiment of 'nerd'. He had a damn asthma attack over being asked out. But yet for some reason Marco was apparently into that. It was cute, in a weird offbeat way. 

"So uhm…" Marco spoke up after a moment. He was pretty sure the answer was obvious but some insecure twinge just needed the answer stated outright. "That's… can I take that as a yes then? I mean… unless you're turning me down?" He forced a small smirk onto his face despite the anxiety pulsing in his veins. 

Jean exhaled and then took a few breaths before taking a second dose, repeating what he’d done the first time and feeling less like he wanted to cough his guts up and gasp for air. Today had been a particularly bad day asthma wise for Jean, though he supposed he  _ had _ been under more stress than usual and that always set him off. More than things like dancing and other physical pursuits, thank god.

When Marco asked if it was a yes or if Jean was turning him down the teenager felt both a little more sure that he was liked and extremely happy and excited, enough that he grabbed a small cushion from the sofa and threw it at Marco with a soft chuckle before hiding his face by ducking his head. “It’s a yes o’course, you dork.” He muttered as he flopped to sit on the sofa - right in the corner of it again.

Catching the pillow, Marco gave an indignant squawk. He rolled his eyes, tossing it back in Jean's direction lightly. "Watch the face! I'm pretty sure you'd have a small army after you if you managed to break my nose or something. And I'm pretty sure most of those girls could kick your skinny ass." He stuck his tongue out with a small smirk. 

Marco moved around to sit back down onto the couch, crossing his legs idly. He felt more comfortable now. There were still plenty of questions to figure out. But at least they'd come to one conclusion. It still left plenty of questions about how exactly they were going to get away with this until Jean's birthday and whether this relegated them to skulking around behind closed doors or faking something platonic or some form of something else. But right now, Marco just wanted to focus on the fact that they'd worked out at least  _ one _ question. "You can relax, you know. You don't have to squish yourself into the corners of the furniture. Now just tell me what you want. They're usually pretty fast but I'm hungry." Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dialed the number quickly and ordered a small collection of rolls for himself before looking over at the other with a quirked brow, waiting to tack on his addition. 

Jean was hit in the side of the head by the soft projectile and grunted as he grabbed it before it fell to the floor, hugging it to his midsection. “As if a pillow would break your face. Anyway if it did it might be an improvement.” He couldn't help the comment, of course Marco was the hottest thing Jean had ever seen but that didn’t mean he couldn’t tease the other man. “But yeah they probably would.” He gave a small shrug, grinning with embarrassment but at the same time his usual self-consciousness was gnawing at him.

When Marco sat down and told him he could relax Jean wanted to roll his eyes and tell Marco that was easier said than done, but then the mention of food came up again and his stomach growled embarrassingly loudly. Marco was already calling the number on the menu before Jean had a chance to decide and he flailed a little bit and sort of threw himself against Marco’s side so he was able to see the menu more clearly. “T-that!” He said and pointed to a salmon and tuna platter.

Marco had rolled his eyes at Jean's jibe, deciding to keep quiet other than a small 'hmph' noise. He almost stuck out his tongue in response but decided better of it. He wasn't going to be the immature one, as tempting as it was. It was obvious there wasn't any real meaning behind the statement other than the guy trying to tease him anyway. 

Yelping slightly when Jean was suddenly plastered against his side, Marco nodded and added in Jean's order. He frowned slightly, poking the other in the shoulder and elbow. And then promptly added on a few more things before finishing off the order quickly and hanging up. The younger of the two had said he hadn't eaten since the day before and made a comment about ramen as though it counted as  _ food _ . That wouldn't do at all. He tossed his phone to the coffee table and relaxed back into the couch. He figured they had about half an hour to waste. 

Jean muffled a noise at the poking to his shoulder and elbow, leaning away again so that he wasn’t squished against Marco and waited til the other had finished his phone call and sat back before speaking. “Sorry I guess I’m kinda boney.” He stuck his tongue out nervously, having taken the poking at him as discomfort on the other man’s part. “Connie said it’s really uncomfortable when my elbows n shit dig into his ribs.” Jean flopped back against the couch then too, about half a feet away from the other man but at least not pasted to the very corner.

“N-not that we hug or anything, that’d be fuckin’ weird.” He scrunched his nose up at the thought of doing those sorts of ‘mushy’ things with his best friend. Whilst it was true that they quite regularly jerked each other off - a practice that wouldn’t happen any more now that he was with Marco - they were more likely to play fight than express their feelings. Jean wasn’t sure if he’d mentioned Connie properly in his messages to Marco, though he had sent a couple of snaps of the other boy’s hand around his dick when he’d been particularly playful feeling. Jean didn’t know if Marco would make that connection though. 

"If by boney you mean practically malnourished, then sure, we'll go with boney. I mean would it kill you to eat?" Marco shrugged slightly. He tried to pretend he didn't mind the loss of the other pressed against him, boney edges or not. "It's okay though. I don't mind it. I'm just more worried I'd break you if I held on too tight." He realized immediately how absurdly sexual the implications were there and coughed. "I mean… um." He tried and failed to come up with some way to change that sentence into something less overt. 

Marco cleared his throat again, trying to will the red tint from his cheeks. He frowned for a moment, tilting his head to the side. Connie? He hadn't heard the name but Jean didn't exactly seem like the type to have a big social circle and he knew the younger of the two didn't have any siblings. He did know there had been someone else featured in some of Jean's snaps along with teasing comments but he wasn't sure what the relationship between them was. It… hadn't actually occurred to him before that moment. "Sooo… Connie? That's… your um friend's name?" 

Jean pouted and wanted to comment on how he  _ did _ eat but he couldn’t really cook and had no idea what sort of shit to buy himself so he basically lived on cup ramen because it was easy. He didn't, though, since there was no real point in mentioning it since it wasn’t like it would change any time soon. The sexual suggestion in Marco’s comment about breaking him made Jean blush but smirk. “You’re free to see just how much it takes to break me any time.” He fiddled with the hem of the sweater he was wearing. “It’s much more than you’d think. Marco.” Sticking his tongue out Jean rolled his shoulders in a shrug and tried to get his mind out of the gutter.

“Connie.. uh.. yeah he’s my best friend. Actually pretty much my only friend heh how sad is that. O-oh but I don’t actually mind that!” He had to add the last part, because despite the fact he’d been terribly lonely over the years he didn’t really want to make friends with the kind of people in his school. “There’s a few online I guess but I’ve never met them.” Jean paused, chewing his lip in thought before glancing sideways at Marco.

“I… I wanna let you know that.. I mean… those snaps I sent where there was another person were with him. B-but I won't do that any more now it was just cuz it feels better than doing it alone!” He felt anxiety clawing at him, hoping Marco didn’t decide he wasn’t up for being in a relationship now after all and  _ fuck _ Jean needed to stop being so negative it was exhausting.

Marco nearly choked on his own throat at the comment about seeing how much it would take to break Jean. That idea had certainly put plenty of very vivid and very lewd images into his mind. Not the least of which being the fucked-out expression on the younger man's face earlier. His only response was to lick his lips slightly before biting the lower one for a moment. Marco couldn't help thinking that he might just want to take him up on that at some point. 

"Oh…" Marco tried to pretend he wasn't bothered by the idea that the other had so small of a social circle. It wasn't like Marco was overflowing with people he would consider close friends either. But at least he had plenty of people to talk to if he wanted. Good positive acquaintances. But if Jean was okay with it, then he didn't think it was really his place to judge. 

He let out a small breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding when the Jean explained exactly who this Connie guy was to him. It didn't seem like it was a 'thing', more just a matter of convenience and hormones. Marco certainly wasn't going to hold that against him. He let that teasing, devilish smirk creep across his face. "Hmm… I see. So he won't be too jealous with me for me taking the 'benefits' out of your friendship, then? I mean, no offense to him, but I rather prefer how  _ my _ hand looks wrapped around your cock instead." He reached out to let a hand skirt teasingly up Jean's leg as he spoke before giving a wink as he squeezed high on the other's upper thigh suddenly before pulling back, seemingly content with himself. 

“Pft, nah he has more friends anyway and I think he has a girl he does that sorta thing with too.” Jean was sure Connie wouldn’t mind, although keeping  _ who _ Jean was going out with a secret may be more of an issue than stopping the convenience wanks. After all, Jean had no intention of letting anyone know his boyfriend was Marco Bodt even though he sort of wanted to gush about it… he could do that without saying  _ who _ . 

However the way Marco said he liked  _ his _ hand around Jean’s cock… the way he stroked the teenagers thigh and squeezed before pulling away had an involuntary whimper bubble out of him and Jean slapped a hand to his mouth in embarrassment.  There was no way he was going to allow himself to get another fucking boner he’d look like some nymphomaniac… though to be honest sometimes he did wonder how the hell his body had so much ‘stamina’. It didn’t take long at all for his dick to recover after cumming and then he could have multiple and insistent boners for the rest of the day, he knew he was young but seriously… no wonder Connie had more than one friend with benefits. 

Coughing to try and smother his embarrassment Jean shrugged a shoulder and tried a smirk of his own, feeling a bit silly as he tipped his head back to rest on the back of the sofa and arched his back, dropping a hand to his lap to give his crotch a languid squeeze. “Shame it was only  _ my _ hand on it earlier then huh. And you didn’t even get to  _ see  _ that.” Oh god this felt all kinds of embarrassing but at the same time it was fun to tease even if it didn’t really work, Jean liked the playfulness.

Marco stifled a snort at the whimper that escaped from Jean. He'd hardly done anything and he had him making those adorable noises. His reactions did seem to be pretty entertaining overall. Marco found himself wondering just how easily he could turn the other into an absolute needy mess. He tried to push the thought away for the moment but then Jean was trying to  _ turn the tables _ on Marco instead? The freckled man found himself glued to the younger's movements and his words. Oh if he wanted to toy with Marco, he would have to be prepared to get toyed with as well. Marco licked his lips slowly before responding. "Hmm… that's true… And our food will be here soon. So I couldn't even do anything now... But, you know… there's always  _ one _ solution to that." 

Scooting over carefully, Marco placed a hand over Jean's. He leaned in to whisper in his ear, a low chuckle preceding his breathy words. "I think I'll just have to have you for dessert." And with that, he pressed the palm of his hand down, pushing the teen's hand to grind against himself firmly. Marco nipped once at Jean's neck before pulling back and relaxing on the couch again as if nothing had happened. 

Jean watched Marco as the other man licked his lips and spoke, scooting closer to Jean and making the teen tense slightly when a slightly larger hand came to rest over his own bony fingers. “D-deserhhnn.” Jean was cut off by a groan as Marco pushed their hands down and it felt  _ good _ , the younger of the two couldn’t help the way his hips bucked up into the touch and his breath whooshed out of him in a sigh as his neck was nipped at.

Then Marco was gone and Jean couldn’t stop the pout that surfaced as he pulled his hand away from his crotch. “H-how the hell do you not just wanna bone everything all the time it’s not fair. I’m either a nympho or my hormones need to get some chill.” He groaned and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes after lifting his glasses out of the way. Pointedly ignoring the half hardness in his borrowed sweat pants - it really was  _ that  _ easy to get Jean going.

Marco snorted out a chuckle that turned into a full laugh. He clutched at his sides as he looked at the younger man, laughing for well over a minute. The pants were bulged enough to be obvious and the pout that had been on his face was just precious. Just from that small amount of teasing. He tried to speak between bursts of laughter eventually. "I mean… the two aren't mutually exclusive… Plus, well, you're still young so that kind of comes with the territory. But jesus, Jean, how the hell are you so  _ cute _ about it? Sitting on my couch with a boner and a pout and I just… I don't know if I want to cuddle your face or suck your dick or what. Is it really always this easy to work you up? I… I'm sorry but… if it is then… fair warning, I don't think I can keep myself from taking advantage of that." 

Jean’s face just increased drastically in colour as Marco laughed at him, like  _ laughed _ . Enough that Jean wanted to crawl into a hole and die because he felt so humiliated over how sensitive he was all of a sudden. “M’not cute!” He said under his breath, grabbing a pillow and holding it over his lap as his glasses fell back into place on the bridge of his nose, only slightly lower than normal. “It’s your fault it's easy b-but it’s not usually  _ this _ easy! Fuck… just choke on my dick you ass.”

The sound of the door startled Marco out of his laughing fit and he tried to calm himself quickly, standing and smoothing out his clothes. "And on that note, I'll be right back." He slapped his cheeks with a long slow exhalation before heading for the door, still chuckling slightly.


	6. Dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Marco finally get to have their lunch--even if it has become a dinner. And Marco has Jean for dessert.

The sound of the door startled Marco out of his laughing fit and he tried to calm himself quickly, standing and smoothing out his clothes. "And on that note, I'll be right back." He slapped his cheeks with a long slow exhalation before heading for the door, still chuckling slightly. It was a quick enough transaction with Marco telling the guy to just keep the change, getting him to go away faster and he seemed glad for the fairly generous tip. Marco returned to the couch with hands full of the bags, rather precariously managing to set them on the table before sitting down and starting to unpack them. 

Jean hunched over and put his face in his hands, hot and red and he didn’t move even as the other man went to answer the door and came back with the food. He wasn’t sure he could look Marco in the face again any time soon and now that the food was here he was reminded of his stupid comment about eating sushi off of a naked dude.  _ Oh god _ .

Marco sighed slightly when he had everything out and Jean was still buried in his hands. He hadn't meant to embarrass him that much. Marco just hadn't been able to stop himself from laughing. He hadn't meant it in a negative way but the teen obviously was easily embarrassed. He frowned at the thought. Easily embarrassed wasn't exactly the best combination with any level of celebrity status. If things wound up working out and they were together when Jean turned 18 and they could be open about things… It could be a problem. 

Hesitating for a moment, Marco decided on prodding the other in the arm with a chopstick. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You're just adorable okay? I'm… not used to it. I mean, I would gladly choke on your dick anytime you want, but-- …I'm not helping, am I? I'll stop. No more sex-humour out of me until after we've eaten. Okay? I'll behave. Just… eat okay. C'mon, I know you're hungry. Mmmm food, tasty protein and calories." Marco jiggled one of the little soy sauce packets their meal had come with at Jean. 

Jean made a noise between a yelp and a growl as his arm was poked with a chopstick and he turned his head to mock glare at Marco, his red cheeks puffed up in indignation. “I’m just gonna blame years of fantasizing about you.” He grunted. “So it’s  _ your _ fault. Take responsibility… later.” Jean mumbled before looking at the food and grabbing some of the chopsticks as his stomach growled again at the sight of the sushi.

“Oh god that looks so good.” He almost moaned and sat up enough to open the tray his sushi was in, plucking a juicy bit of salmon off of the top of some rice and literally moaning as he sucking it into his mouth with a pop. “I love sushi, it’s been so damn long.”

"Gladly." Marco responded with only the one word, sticking his tongue out with a cheery smile. He certainly didn't mind the idea of taking  _ full _ responsibility for any frustration he caused Jean. He started in on his own food. Marco ate his rolls much more calmly--albeit with an unhealthy amount of wasabi--while slowly quirking a brow at the younger's apparent foodgasm. 

After a few minutes of not much more than eating noises, Marco gestured with his chopsticks. He spoke up after swallowing, trying to keep his tone curious and not judgemental. "What  _ do _ you eat anyway? Like… normally? I mean, you said you don't really have anybody at home, right? So… do you cook or do you honestly just eat trash?" 

Jean kept eating with small noises of appreciation, his own sushi ended up smothered with enough wasabi to rival Marco’s and then dipped in soy sauce. He was surprised that it wasn’t at all awkward to eat in-front of the other man and he took that as a good sign, usually Connie was the only person he was ok with eating around. There was just something weird to him about eating where other people could watch.

“Mnh?” Jean made a questioning noise but didn’t speak until he had swallowed his mouth full of tuna. “Oh… uh.. I can’t really cook… so… uh.. well, Ramen? Like three a day and some energy drink I guess… oh sometimes I get pastries like when I’m coming home from school.” Jean tensed as soon as he’d mentioned school, extremely conscious of voicing anything that made Marco remember his age. “Um… Mmh.” He stabbed one of his chopsticks into the last slab of compacted rice and popped it into his mouth, chewing it slowly.

Marco stared at the other for a long moment, idly chewing and swallowing the last piece in his tray. The expression on his face was a very clear sign of 'you have got to be kidding me'. He pinched at the bridge of his nose briefly, letting out a long sigh. "Hell, Jean… No wonder you look like you're gonna snap in half with the next breeze. That's not  _ food _ . How do you even study with that little food in you?" 

He gnawed at the end of one chopstick for a moment before shaking his head, gesturing with the chopsticks as well as he set down his tray. "No. You need to eat better. You really do. Here on out, whenever I see you, you're eating a decent meal." Marco was half tempted to push for more than that. If it were up to him, Jean would be eating three full meals a day. But it would do for now, at least. He stuck his tongue out with a smirk, unable to resist one extra comment. "Besides, you'll need the extra energy if you wanna keep up with me, right?" 

Jean grunted softly and put his chopsticks down, looking at Marco and pressing his lips together into a thin line. Food was a subject he didn’t really want to have an argument over, the ramen was convenient and quick and cheap which had helped his clubbing escapades… although now that he couldn’t go there he’d had extra money that he supposed should be spent on better convenience food at least. 

“Firstly..” Jean started, licking his lips. “I’m not gonna snap, bend.. sure… I’m pretty flexible but snap no. I’ve lasted this long I’m not a girl I’m not gonna cry if you grab me hard or push me around.” Jean shifted his position on the couch and laid down with his legs over the arm of the sofa, head resting on Marco’s thighs. “Second, if that includes eating your dick I’m totally game.”  He was being cocky but blushing, Jean hoped that one day he could say that sort of thing without looking like a tomato since it ruined the effect a bit. Still, humour and snark was easier than dealing with uncomfortable topics.

Marco zoned out into a realm of very explicit sexual thoughts at the other's mention of being flexible. And so he blinked slightly when he suddenly had Jean's head in his lap. There was a momentary look of confusion on his face as his brain tried to fill in the blanks between that word and how he came to have a head in his lap. Regardless he almost instinctively started running his fingers gently through the teen's hair. 

"Mmh… is that so? You like my dick that much?" Marco's tone was teasing in response to the comment about his dick. "Who am I to complain then? But… just how flexible  _ are _ we talking? Just… for personal reference?" That wicked smirk settled in more firmly as he moved his other arm to tease Jean's side, tugging the sweater up a bit while still running his fingers through dark blond strands. 

“I do.” Jean said simply, and it was true. There was no doubt in the teens mind about just  _ how _ gay he was, he’d come to terms with it a while ago now and apparently he was a bit thirsty for dick… ok a  _ lot _ , especially Marco’s dick. He hmmed for a moment before a squeak left him at the hand on his side, tensing and jolting slightly as his hand shot down to grab Marco’s and stop the other man from stroking his side like that. “D-don’t do that…” He said in a quiet tone, not divulging  _ why _ Marco shouldn’t because that was the worst possible thing you could admit when you were ticklish.

“As for your  _ personal reference _ …” Jean said before lifting his leg - the one on the outside edge of the sofa - and lifting it until his thigh was pressed against his chest and he used his free hand to hold his ankle, leg almost straight as he bent pretty much in half. The other leg still comfortably down and Marco’s hand trapped against his body. “Something like this, I guess. I dunno.” Jean remained that way for another moment or so before letting go and flopping his leg back down to it’s original position.

Marco quirked a brow at the sudden squeak. It had happened almost as soon as he'd brushed the teen's side. The reason was almost immediately obvious. No one jerked so suddenly like that unless they were ticklish. Probably very ticklish if the way Jean's body spasmed was any guide. With a slight glint of mischief in his gaze, Marco filed that information away for later reference. He'd have to explore that little detail when he had the chance. 

But for the moment his attention was much more captivated by what Jean was doing with his leg. Flexible was an understatement. Marco moved his body for hours every day and had plenty of  _ strength _ but nowhere near that amount of  _ stretch _ . Marco's eyes went wide for a moment. His brain immediately went through all the different possibilities and implications that had in terms of positions the younger man could be bent into. And he was sure he was missing some still. "…Well  _ that _ went straight to my dick." Marco tried to keep the blunt comment as offhand as he could, clearing his throat slightly. "I'll… have to keep that in mind." His mind was still whirring through possibilities, trying to decide which ones it liked, trying to figure out ramifications. 

"But… for now…" Marco took one of the other's hands in his, threading their fingers together. He brought their hands up, kissing the back of Jean's hand. "I'm not sure when you have to get going… But I  _ do _ still kind of wanna suck your cock. Or we can like… I dunno… What do you do? Watch a movie? I'm not good with this sappy stuff." In truth it had been several months since his last actual date and even longer since he'd had any sort of lasting relationship. The physical always came easier for him. Something else occurred to him and he frowned, looking down at the younger man. "…And I'm not keeping you from like… homework or something, right?" 

“Pft, perv.” Jean teased the older man after his comment about the teens flexibility going straight to his dick, not that Jean was any better in that respect, he was probably  _ more _ perverted even. When Marco took his hand Jean couldn’t help the soft noise of contentment at the kiss to his knuckles and the laugh as Marco mentioned sucking his dick - said appendage twitching eagerly in response to the thought of being able to feel what a blowjob was like at last.

“Movies are good n all but my dicks kinda popping up to say hi right now thanks to the mental image you just gave me.” Jean said bluntly - again blushing. “And as I said no one will be home til 4am so like I’ll leave whenever, I do my homework in school at break. All that’s waiting at home for me is my laptop or my playstation.” Jean used the hand not being held by Marco to cup the back of the older man’s head and pull him down, leaning up to meet him halfway in a chaste kiss. “Suck my dick, Marco.” He couldn’t help the soft laugh that bubbled out of him at saying that and actually meaning it.

Rolling his eyes at being called a pervert, Marco only grinned. His grin cracked wider at Jean's response about his dick, nodding as the other continued speaking. He still felt slightly bad that the teen didn't even have anyone waiting at home for him. But then again, if he had, Marco knew they likely never would have met. So he couldn't bring himself to feel too terribly. The idea that Jean did his homework in school just entertained Marco immensely. He was  _ definitely _ a nerd if he could get it done in that time. 

Marco held a breath when he was tugged down for the brief kiss. The words that followed made him lick his lips. He let go of Jean's hand, moving it down to squeeze him through the pants. He kneaded at the other's cock briefly before pulling back, guiding Jean up and off his lap. "Don't have to ask me twice." Marco thought for a moment, deciding just how badly he wanted to torture Jean. His conclusion was 'very much'. Marco settled on pushing the younger man back against the couch with one broad palm against his chest. "These…" He slid his hand down and snapped at the waistband of the sweatpants, all but oozing farther down the couch for a better angle as he did. "Are in my way." Marco nuzzled briefly at Jean's knee, devilish grin firmly in place.

Jean groaned and bucked up into the groping, whining when the hand left and he was guided into a seated position. “Nh… Marco…” The teens voice came out on a pant as he was pushed to lie down and the other man snapped the waistband of his borrowed sweats. 

“T-take em off then…” Jean said as he looked down the length of his body at Marco nuzzling his knee. He only let the statement rest in the air for a moment though before he lifted his own hands to fumble at the laces tying them, pulling the bow loose and hooking his thumbs in the waistband to pull them down. He was slightly less hesitant this time but Jean still stopped once they were down far enough to show his ass and free his quickly rising dick. 

Marco shook his head slightly when Jean stopped. Leaning in quickly to leave a light kiss at Jean's thigh, he gave a reassuring smile. "Trust me, you'll want these off." He tugged the fabric down further, fingers just barely ghosting across the other's skin as he pulled the pants down and off. 

"See? That's better." Marco didn't give the other time to respond, leaning in to leave a series of teasing but gentle kisses on the other's legs. His gaze flickered between what he was doing and Jean's face, eyes speaking entire volumes of mischief and teasing. Starting at mid-calf, he worked his way up to the knee on the younger man's right leg before switching to the left and doing the same. But this time he continued farther, speckling those same small but tender kisses up to the midpoint of his thigh. 

As he did so, Marco's palms started a slow path up and down the outer sides of Jean's legs. He moved back to the right leg, continuing from the knee up to the same point and continuing on again to his hip. He was careful as he moved across the lines of scars but didn't pay them any particular attention or treat them differently in any outward way. Marco switched back to the left leg, picking up where he had left off and moving up to Jean's hip before moving inward slightly, towards the other's cock. He skipped it abruptly, switching back to Jean's right hip and kissing inwards there as well, again pausing torturously close to his cock. Marco's hands moved inward, now running up and down along the innermost sections of the other's thighs. "Now… what was it you wanted again…?" His words were low and teasing, looking up past Jean's cock to his face. 

Jean didn’t protest when Marco took his pants all the way off, although he still felt self-conscious of the scars and how bright the room was. Marco could see everything clearly in this light and it made Jean tense slightly with unsure embarrassment as he watched Marco begin to kiss his legs, a soft frown creasing his brow at the slow attention and the way even that had his dick twitching. 

“Nh-...” Jean started to breathe slightly heavier as Marco moved slowly up the length of his legs, it wasn’t long before he was fully hard and the youth arched his back with a groan as Marco’s mouth came closer to his hips. “M-Marco...hngh..” Jean grabbed the couch cushion beneath him tightly in both hands, dick visibly throbbing and twitching at how teasing the other man was being. His mouth hung open as he began to pant and his hips bucked upwards when Marco’s hands brushed the tops of his inner thighs. He thought he might just explode.

“D-dick… my dick...  _ shit _ Marco!” Jean’s face was bright red again as he lifted a hand and placed it on the top of Marco’s head, tugging his hair gently for a moment before trying to coax the other man’s face toward his crotch, erection already dripping with pre-cum. “Please… oh god I’m so hard.. I wanna feel your mouth… hah… hnn…” 

Marco savoured how responsive Jean was. He took in every little groan and panting sound. And he'd hardly even done anything. Not anything other than small kisses and a few simple touches, anyway. Idly, he wondered if he might be able to make the younger man cum without even touching his dick. But that could be tested another time. A groan escaped him at the hand tugging in his hair. Oh Marco very much wanted to really have him pulling on his hair hard at some point. 

"Oh… Right." Marco smirked cheekily, sticking out his tongue for a moment. He contemplated the hard flesh in front of him for a moment, moving his hands to grip at the teen's thighs. It definitely wouldn't take Jean long to cum at this rate. But still, Marco would have as much fun with him as he could. Wrapping his lips around the head of the other man's cock, he gave a little suck, tongue flicking across the copious amount of pre-cum oozing from the slit. The heady flavour drew out a small resonating groan from the freckled man's throat. 

Jean  _ almost _ groaned out that Marco was ‘a meanie’ but that was far too embarrassing and stupid even for him, so he caught himself at the last moment, instead letting a small growl escape. However, when the other man wrapped those lips around him all thought fled and Jean threw his head back with a choked gasp, it felt way better than a hand that was for sure better than he’d imagined, actually.

“O-oh fuckkhh!” Jean’s legs twitched at the sensation of Marco’s tongue and he spread them wider instinctively, the one resting ad the edge of the sofa moving outwards until his foot was on the floor. Jean’s other hand moved to join its twin in Marco’s hair and he couldn’t help the way his hips bucked up into the wet heat. “M-more...deeper..oh god Marco..” Fuck he was way too sensitive for this, he’d cum soon and it wasn’t just because it felt good. It was also because just the  _ thought _ that his cock was in Marco’s mouth right now was enough to blow all of his previous fantasies about the act out of the water, he was so turned on by the act itself that the pleasure of it made his mind numb.

Marco gave a low groan at the second hand in his hair. He pulled back slightly, just far enough to murmur a few words. "You can tug hard, if you need to." Marco slid his hands from Jean's inner thighs down to cup his ass. He shuddered at the sensation of the naked flesh under his touch, giving a small squeeze as he wrapped his lips around the tip of that fantastically hard cock. 

It was then that Marco decided he wanted to see just how quickly he  _ could _ make the other come undone. He dropped his head in one fluid motion, easily taking the entire length of Jean's cock into his mouth. His hands squeezed at the globes of the other's ass, just firm enough to separate the cheeks slightly and using the grip to take the entire length quicker. He pulled back quickly before dropping his head down again, repeating the forced-thrusting motion of Jean's hips with another kneading grope. This time, with his nose buried at the base of the other's length, he swallowed hard. 

“Unnh…” Jean groaned deep and low at Marco’s words and almost as soon as the other man moved back down and grabbed the teens ass he was tugging on Marco’s hair because it just felt so fucking good. He choked on his breath and couldn’t take any more in for a moment when Marco dropped his head abruptly and took him all in, the sensation so intense than he sobbed and his hands twisted in the dark strands they were holding. “M-AHRCO!” He sobbed the other man’s name around a moan and his body shook with the force of the sensation being wrought upon him.

There was no way that Jean could even hope to last long when Marco was sucking him off like this, the hands on his ass felt so good squeezing him and guiding his pelvis in those sinful thrusts. Jean couldn’t stop his voice from coming out on every outward pant of breath, every  _ single  _ **_one_ ** . “W-waitfuck! AH- I-I’ll shhhaaa I’ll cum! Hnh! I… I’m gonna cum!” He choked the words out, tugging on Marco’s hair to get him to pull away because he didn’t want it to end so soon, let alone the fact it was painfully embarrassing if he came within just a couple of minutes.

Marco groaned softly at each tug to his hair. He couldn't help moaning openly around the length in his mouth when Jean's hands twisted, pulling harder. The pulling against his hair felt fantastic. Jean's cock was hot and  _ delicious _ in his mouth, leaking precum easily and filling his senses with the taste. Jean's taste. Marco shuddered at the thought. The sounds coming so easily out of the teen's throat were absolutely the stuff of Marco's dreams. He sounded so broken and so  _ noisy _ and the older man was quite glad to have discovered that. 

When Jean gave his desperate warning, trying to tug Marco away, he grinned internally. That was what he wanted. He wanted Jean to be desperate. He wanted the teen to  _ scream _ for him. Marco seemed to comply for a moment as he pulled off halfway. But then he gave a dark humming sort of chuckle that he knew would resonate against Jean's cock. He pushed the other's hips up towards him quickly, then suddenly down partly again, and then up once more just as quick, the whole length in his mouth once more. He swallowed quickly, letting his nails dig into the soft flesh in his hands slightly as he did. 

Jean trembled as Marco pulled back and he thought the older man was going to take heed and stop for a moment, but he didn’t. Instead Marco fucking  _ hummed _ around him and Jean felt every nerve in his body thrum with it. 

“Uh! N-no! UUH...ahAH!!” Jean choked out the protest around a smattering of desperate moans and then he was cumming hard. “MARCOh!” His voice - already slightly strained from taking Marco’s cock in his throat - cracked around the other man’s name as he came and he sobbed loudly as his body shook and his muscles tensed and twitched. The way Marco’s fingers were digging into the flesh of his ass cheeks only intensified things and his orgasm lasted longer than usual as he jerked and writhed before finally sagging and gasping for air  Boneless and spent and cheeks wet with tears he hadn’t even known he’d shed.

Marco swallowed again when the other man released into his mouth, a soft groan escaping him. He soaked in every reaction of the teen's body as best as he could, from the way his voice cracked to the tremors that rocked his body. Letting his fingers ghost against the skin of Jean's ass soothingly once, he pulled his hands back as he let the cock slip from his mouth. He pulled back fully with a breathless chuckle moments later. Marco was panting slightly with cheeks that were deeply flushed, his hair thoroughly mussed from the tight grip that it had been held in. 

Looking Jean over properly, Marco smirked, far less concerned with his own appearance than Jean's. From how the other looked, he wasn't entirely sure if the teen would be able to think, much less move. And… were those tears on his cheeks? Marco shuddered, humming slightly against the lingering taste of cum and cock in his mouth as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. "Mmh… Fuck, Jean, you look so hot right now… Taste good, too." Unable to resist teasing Jean just a bit more, Marco let his fingers trail gently down Jean's leg as he flopped himself back on the couch more comfortably. 

Jean was still panting as he tried to catch his breath, eyes open but vision blurred as he started half-lidded at the ceiling. His mouth hung open around soft almost mewling noises and he was oblivious to the inspection he was receiving from Marco as small twitches rocked his body every so often. His hands were limp at his sides and his legs were carelessly splayed open in his relaxed state.

“Nh..” Was as much as Jean could muster when Marco commented on the state he was in, shivering at the touch to his leg and giving a quiet groan. Despite his spaced out state of mind Jean already missed the contact when Marco sat back, and he lifted both of his arms shakily, holding them up and outwards slightly. “Hug…” He all but demanded, even though his voice was wrecked and hardly working.

Marco chuckled slightly at the shaky demand, rolling his eyes with a warm smile. Still, the act of sitting up as he had made him suddenly all too aware of just how hard he was from that. Jean's reactions, those little pants and moans and seeing him writhe, it was just too much. Marco bit his lip for a moment, considering. 

Deciding quickly on a 'fuck it', Marco cautiously slipped into Jean's seeking arms, positioning himself to hopefully put the least pressure on his cock. No, being between Jean's legs was definitely not helping his boner. That wouldn't do. He considered his options for a moment before slipping his arms underneath the other. Marco rolled them quickly and carefully in one movement, keeping Jean clutched close so he wouldn't fall. He settled only once he had Jean more or less on top of him but off to one side of his hip, grip wrapped safely around the teen's smaller frame. "Easier this way…" He muttered the words as some form of explanation. 

“Mnn..” Jean wrapped his arms around Marco as soon as the other man was within range, attempting to nuzzle against the warmth of the other man but being unable to as he was suddenly moving. Jean clung to Marco tightly and muffled a startled yelp, though the older of them didn’t let him fall and they were soon resting securely again, this time Jean on top. Part of Jean was disappointed, somehow he wanted to be pinned beneath the other man even though he’d just came, but this was good too.

Jean finally nuzzled against Marco’s neck, ignoring his naked lower body still as he pressed a series of soft kisses on Marco’s skin with a content purr. He’d finally caught his breath - was shocked in-fact that he hadn't needed his inhaler again considering his track record for the day so far - and he wiggled until he was in a more comfortable position, thigh pressing against Marco’s crotch in the process. Jean bit his lip at what he felt,  _ of course _ Marco would be hard after that… But Jean pretended not to notice, wondering if he could tease the other man subtly as he shifted again with a soft sigh or breath over Marco’s throat.

Marco couldn't help a small chuckle at the yelp that came from Jean. He shuddered slightly at the nuzzling and the soft kisses, a long sigh escaping him at how nice it felt. He let his fingers roam slightly where they held Jean against him now that they were settled in. But then Jean had to fucking  _ move _ and oh god did he feel that? Marco tensed ever so slightly. He wasn't sure if he wanted or didn't want the younger man to have noticed. On the one hand, he was hard enough for it to be uncomfortable and getting off again was not an unwelcome concept. But on the other, having the other's body curled up against him like this was nice and he didn't particularly want to move. 

After holding his breath for a moment, Marco was just about to let it out as a sigh when Jean shifted his leg again, breathing hotly against his neck. The sigh came out as a soft stifled moan instead, grip on the other's body getting briefly tighter. "Nnnh…" Marco cringed slightly, if he hadn't noticed before, Jean probably would have now. Suddenly he was all the more aware of the fact that he had the teen curled up half naked against him, warmth from his body soaking into Marco's core. He felt his cock twitch slightly against Jean's leg. 

Jean delighted in the sound that Marco made in response to his subtle teasing, making the other man react made Jean feel so good and he moved his leg again, less subtly now that Marco had moaned. “You ok?” Jean whispered with his broken sounding voice, burying his face against the side of Marco’s neck so the other man couldn’t see his expression of concentration and bashfulness.

One of Jean’s hands was trapped between their bodies and the back of the couch, the other moved to gingerly slide down the length of Marco’s chest and abdomen, fingers skipping over the creases in the other man’s shirt. He cupped Marco’s hip through his clothes and gave it an appreciative squeeze before skimming lower and kneading at the other man’s inner thigh. He could feel the heat of Marco’s erection against his own leg, shifting and pressing it upwards again with a small rub for friction as his thumb pushed up against the space between Marco’s thigh and his balls, fingers wrapping around the front of Marco’s leg and squeezing.

"I… I'm f-fine…" Marco responded with a small moan when Jean moved his leg again. He relished the way Jean's voice sounded so broken and rough around the edges, knowing he was responsible for that. He gave a shuddering inhale when he felt the other man's fingers slipping down the length of his torso. 

A pleased noise escaped Marco's lips at the squeeze to his hip that drew shaky when Jean's fingers kept moving finally kneading at his thigh. The dull friction of the other man's leg rubbing and pressing against his cock combined with the squeeze to his leg and the finger pressed up against the side of his balls was a fantastic sort of torture. It easily made the older man buck his hips slightly, again gripping tightly at Jean's frame for a moment. 

"Fuck… Wh-what are you…" He trailed off his words, meaning more of a 'you don't have to do anything if you don't want to' than any actual question by them anyway. Marco let out a half-chuckle that was somewhere between nervous and lusty. Of course that was when his cock decided to throb helpfully. He didn't want Jean feeling like he  _ had _ to do anything just because Marco's dick got too worked up when he was sucking the other man off but  _ fuck _ if he wanted to, Marco had no complaints. 

“Mnh… so  _ this  _ is fine?” Jean whispered as he pressed his knee into the couch and rolled his hips in a way that caused his leg to press at Marco’s crotch in a slightly different way. His movements were languid and almost sleepy as he worked his hand upwards and inwards to the other man’s fly, flicking the button open with only a small fumble before slowly drawing the zip down millimeter by millimeter. 

“H-hey… Marco.. there something you want?” Jean was still whispering, finding it easier and his voice less likely to crackle if he kept his voice at a low, quiet level. He pressed a kiss to Marco’s jawline then, fingertips dipping just inside the two inch opening he’d created in the other’s pants for just a moment with the barest of touches against the hot, boxers clad length before pulling them away again and giving another press of his thigh. He was glad of the fact he’d just came though, otherwise something like this would be impossible with his dick distracting him but  _ oh _ how Jean wanted to hear the other man come undone again.

"Nnh… M-maybe…?" Marco's response was unsure, broken in the middle with a soft moan and a small arch of his hips. His breath hitched when the zipper was pulled down, quickly becoming short and shallow when he remembered to breathe again. This slow, teasing thing Jean was doing was quickly driving him nuts. 

Then Jean's fingers were just slipping into his pants for a moment and gone just as quick. Marco blatantly let out a whimper that was broken into a moan when the other's thigh was pressing against him again, hips arching up. His grip tightened with the arm wrapped properly around the younger man, the other moving to stroke down his arm slowly. "God… Jean… Please. D-don't tease."

Jean revelled in the responses that Marco was giving him, it was a change from the overconfident, much more experienced man he’d come to know and he liked that. The way Marco was breathing faster, the way he fucking  _ whimpered _ and arched his hips and gripped Jean more tightly with a begging tone, asking him  _ please _ don’t tease.

“Fuck, Marco…” Jean groaned softly, biting the older man's neck with a growl and pulling the zipper all the way down in one swift motion before delving his hand inside to roughly palm at Marco’s cock through his underwear. “Y-you want.. my hand round your cock, Marco?” He stuttered on his words but didn’t stop. “Wanna cum f-for me?” His heart was hammering in his chest through nerves and excitement, the power he currently felt was amazing and Marco was so fucking sexy this way… every way.

Marco groaned at the bite, eyes rolling back slightly. His hips bucked again at the way he was suddenly palmed at. Jean's words made him shudder. Even with the teen's hesitance and slight stumbling over his words, Marco couldn't help thinking how good he sounded saying things like that. Particularly when his voice sounded so completely fucked-out still. The freckled man felt a strange sense of pride knowing that tone was the result of his cock and the moans he'd drawn out of Jean.

"Hnnh, hell yes… Fuck, Jean, make me cum for you, baby." His voice was dripping with lust, dropping his tone lower to an almost purr. He wanted to urge the younger man on, so badly he was almost dizzy with it. Marco bucked his hips against Jean's palm slightly. "Ngh… God I love it when you talk like that…"

“Mnh…” Jean murmured at Marco’s words and felt another hot flush overtake him as Marco said how much he liked Jean when he talked dirty. Although it felt a little awkward and Jean was sure he was no good at it he tried his best to continue anyway, hand slipping into the slit in the front of Marco’s boxers and pulling the other man free with a quick stroke.

“Y-yeah?” He purred. “You love it when.. I talk about your cock, Marco?” He bit his lip hard and pressed his thumb over the slit at the end of Marco’s dick, smearing along it with an insistent pressure before wrapping his fingers around the crown and giving a slight squeeze and twist. “You wanna fuck my hand til you cum? Remember how my mouth felt on you a-as you fucked my face, Marco.” He pressed his blush heated face against Marco’s shoulder as he started to move his hand, the tight ‘o’ of his fingers and thumb sliding up and down the other man’s cock with a gentle flick and twist of his wrist as he neared the head so as to add an extra level of stimulation around the most sensitive part of the other man’s cock. “You f-feel so fucking  _ good _ in my hand Marco.”

Marco let out a sharp exhale when his cock was freed of its confines, hips arching into the stroke. He nodded around a loud groan and an arch of his back when Jean thumbed at the slit and squeezed at the head of his dick. The teens words were awkward and unsure but he was pretty sure the younger man could have been reading the damn phonebook to him at this point and as long as it was in  _ that _ voice while touching him like that, Marco would have loved it. 

"Mnh… Fuck you sound so good…" Marco's words were a low mutter between moans as Jean stroked at his length. His hips arched slightly into each movement, breaths short and heavy as he let his fingers trail along the teen's upper arm slowly. He tipped his head back slightly, eyes slipping shut with the torture of the gentle pace. 

Jean shuddered almost violently at Marco’s reactions and he thought he might even get hard again if this kept up. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing though, since at this rate they’d just be in a perpetual sex state, well Jean would at least… he was sure Marco had much more self-control.

Jean quickened his pace a bit, lapsing into silence as he concentrated on his hand and trying not to get hard again, biting his lip hard enough to taste blood as his breath hitched around his muffled moans. Jean was fighting a losing battle, though, and with a whimper he slipped himself between the other man's legs and shifted his hands to push Marco’s thighs apart as he looked down at the way Marco’s erection twitched and stood proud between them, his own slightly smaller but almost as hard again. “M-Marco..” He whined, sounding almost distressed as he pressed his hands into the couch either side of Marco’s pelvis and rolled his hips down in a mock fucking motion.

Marco was lost in the feeling of Jean stroking him and the warmth of his body where it was pressed up against him. Marco almost startled slightly when the other moved and fit himself between the older man's legs. He looked down, cock throbbing slightly at the sight, before looking back up at Jean's face. About to say something, Marco was cut off when the teen whined in that desperate tone and rolled his hips down. 

"Shit… Jean…" Marco pressed his hips up into the movement encouragingly, increasing the friction between them. He gave a breathless chuckle, reaching out to ghost a hand teasingly down the other man's face and neck. "Fuck, you've got stamina." He supposed it wasn't  _ that _ unusual. He had plenty of repetitive fapping sessions when he was Jean's age, after all. But three times in such a short time still seemed excessive. But he wasn't going to complain. The sounds and faces and  _ reactions _ from the younger man were fantastic, fuelling his need and pushing him closer faster than he would expect.

Jean kept moving his hips in the steady humping motion, closing his eyes and letting his mouth hang open as Marco commented on his stamina. It was  _ embarrassing _ and he was sure it wasn’t normal to get this worked up so often and in such a short space of time but he couldn’t  _ help _ it with the way Marco looked and sounded and smelled and  _ everything _ . “It’s... y-your fault…!” He gasped, opening his eyes to half glare up at Marco with shame, but he was too turned on for it to hold any weight.

“Hah...nhh…” Jean shifted his legs a bit and adjusted his angle, watching the way their dicks moved against each other and delighting in how close these movements were to  _ real _ sex. “M-Marco… hands… wrap your hands around our cocks...wanna... wanna fuck s-so bad…”

Marco let out a series of small groans at the way Jean kept rolling his hips in that motion. He took the chance when the other's eyes were closed to scan his features briefly, committing that face to memory. But then the teen's eyes were open again and giving him that half-hearted glare that lost its potency with the way his lips were parted and cheeks were flushed. It gave him a thrill to know just how much of an effect he had on Jean. "Mmh… I'll gladly… take responsibility for that." He purred his breathless words in reply before licking his lips.  

Nodding absently, Marco slipped a hand between them, wrapping them both in a tight grip. He stroked them together briefly with one hand before wrapping his other hand around them as well, fully enclosing their cocks in his grip and giving a squeeze. He was pleasantly surprised by the stamina of Jean's hips, given the younger man's smaller frame and lack of muscle tone. Briefly, the thought of Jean fucking  _ him _ instead flitted through his mind and Marco gave a low groan, bucking into his own grip. 

“AH-huhhn!” Jean couldn’t stop his rhythm from faltering when Marco’s hand moved between them and wrapped their dicks in a tight stroking hold, couldn’t stop his arms from trembling and another whimper from leaking out of him because his dick was so sensitive it almost hurt. Then both of Marco’s hands were there and it felt so fucking good Jean groaned loudly, his voice breaking around it.

“M-Marco.. so fucking good… your hands.. your dick.. hnnh.. t’ch.” Jean shuddered and winced slightly as a particularly sensitive spot made him twinge but he wouldn’t stop, not now, he  _ couldn’t. _ Jean moved one of his hands from it’s place propping him up to reach around and grab Marco’s ass, squeezing a firm cheek and kneading the flesh through the other man’s pants as he kept the pace up with his hips. Despite being tired Jean didn’t stop or falter, too engrossed in the act and the pleasure and the way Marco felt to notice too much, though his muscles would be sore afterwards.

Marco shuddered at the sound of Jean's groan. In some way he loved the way his voice broke around those sounds, as if they were almost too much for the younger man to handle. When Jean moved to grab at his ass, Marco couldn't help moaning out, hips bucking slightly. His grip around their cocks tightened slightly as he moved his hips in small thrusting motions timed to match well with the other's movements. 

"Fuck… Jean…" Marco groaned. He tipped his head back again, losing himself in the feeling of their cocks rubbing deliciously together and against his own hand and Jean groping at his ass. The movement of his hips increased, rubbing them together more, harder, faster and feeling himself get closer as he did. Marco panted, a shudder running through him as he spiralled towards his climax. "I… fuck… wanna cum…"

“C-cum… cum for me Marco...oh..fuck..hnnngh!” Jean whimpered around his words as he doubled his efforts and sped up his movements, pushing harder down onto the other man’s erection and into his hand as he tingled all over. He licked his lips and did his best to stop himself from drooling where his mouth was hanging open on his panted breaths and he felt that familiar sting of tears in his eyes that only Marco seemed to be able to pull from him with the pleasure.

“I...gonna...cum too.. please.. oh god, Marco… o-oh god! W-wha… feel’s oh…  _ fuck… weird… ohHNH! _ ” Jean’s eyes widened at the sensation as what felt like a normal orgasm at first changed into something entirely new and bordering painful as his body jerked and he choked on his breath as the sensation ripped through him despite no cum shooting out of him. He made a confused whimper as the feeling continued to vibrate through him and he lost his rhythm completely, sagging until he’d collapsed onto Marco’s chest and his hips could do nothing but twitch back and forth sporadically.

Marco's response was lost to a series of groans and moans. He was so close, desperately bucking his hips. He flickered his eyes open every few moments, catching a glimpses of Jean's face and the way tears fell down his cheeks again and having to close his eyes again. "Fuck… look so good…" Marco panted out the words with a whine. 

Then Jean was talking again and cumming but no he wasn't and  _ oh _ \--Marco moaned out at the idea that he'd gotten the younger man to cum dry. His hips snapped hard between them a few times before he jerked as his climax hit him hard. Marco felt his muscles twitching, still in the last throes of his release as the Jean collapsed on top of him. Marco was pretty sure he'd have to find a  _ different _ sweater to loan the teen but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care. "W-well…  _ fuck _ …" He nearly made a teasing jibe about the teen finally being out of energy but resisted, brain too foggy to think it through properly anyway. He slipped his hands out from between them, idly wiping the residual cum on his pants--he could change later--before wrapping his arms around Jean with a breathless sigh and a small chuckle. 

Jean could only lie there as Marco finished, wiped his hands and hugged him. His breath coming out in shaky sobs and gasps as he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, boneless and exhausted and comfortable on top of Marco. His hand was still on the other man’s ass but he didn’t bother moving it, probably couldn’t if he tried because if felt like every single muscle in his body had turned to a trembling, weak blob of jelly.

“M-my dick… n-needs… to chill..” Jean mumbled almost inaudibly, his throat not only sounding hoarse but a bit sore now as well. “Sorry… I didn’t… didn’t think I’d get hard again..” Jean groaned and tried to move slightly, but fumbled and just collapsed again, pressing his face to the crook of Marco’s neck and deciding just to let himself doze a bit… just a bit… 

Marco gave another breathless laugh at the comment. He started quietly soothing his arms up and down the younger man's back when he tried to move and collapsed again. "It's okay… Just relax." He continued the slow movements. Soon enough, he felt how Jean's breaths leveled out, realizing the other had dozed off. 

He let Jean stay there on top of him for a few minutes, listening to the teen's breaths and mulling over his own thoughts. It was clear that Jean really was just that exhausted and needed some decent rest. And the couch wasn't the most comfortable couch in the world; he'd bought it when he moved in and never bothered to replace it. Marco sighed, rolling his eyes with a small laugh at himself for even considering his next course of action. He sat them both up carefully, trying to not jostle the other man too much as he hooked an arm under Jean's legs. He moved slowly as he stood, fairly sure the younger of the two might have some objection to being effectively carried bridal style while half naked if he woke up. But he was light so it wasn't much of a struggle for Marco to set Jean down on the bed and tug a blanket over him. It was still early, sun low in the sky but there regardless; Jean could stay a while. He set the sweatpants and another not-cum-covered sweater on the nightstand before leaving the room. How many sweaters could someone dirty in a day? Closing the door over and heading back for the couch, Marco set to busy himself for a few hours, wondering if there was anything interesting on to watch.

Jean didn’t even realise that he’d dropped off to sleep, stirring slightly when Marco moved him and carried him to the bed, groaning in his sleepy state he nuzzled the other man as he was held and then rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow with a sigh.

He slept for at least an hour, ending up with arms wrapped tightly around the pillow and sleeping on his stomach. He woke up in that position and at first stared blankly at the expanse of bed in-front of him, then he frowned in confusion because this was  _ not _ his bed. “Wha-” He started but then coughed as his throat felt dry enough to be sandpaper. He groaned again and shakily sat up, his arm and leg muscles aching, and his abdomen feeling much the same. Ah… Marco… this was Marco’s bed…  _ holy fuck this was Marco’s bed! _

Jean allowed himself a moment to freak out internally before the need for fluid overwhelmed him and he moved to get out of the bed, shakily pulling on the borrowed sweats and changing his sweatshirt  _ again _ . He left the room with the dirty garment scrunched in a hand and hardly even notice his glasses had fallen off in the bed, used to the fuzziness of his vision for the most part. “Mnh..” He made the soft noise as he walked into the lounge.

Marco had been occupying himself poking around the internet, catching up on whatever the latest bizarre concepts and ideas his fans had circulating about him were before moving on to playing random videos and songs as he usually did. He startled slightly when he heard the sound of Jean entering the room. He looked up with a small smile. Stretching from where he was curled up on the couch, he pulled off his headphones slowly, locking his tablet and setting it down on the coffee table. "Hey, morning sleeping beauty. Feeling better now?"

Frowning momentarily, Marco gestured at the other's face. His eyes scanned over the other's features. Jean's eyes really stood out a lot more this way, he noted. Their hazel colour standing out. "Wow… You look  _ really _ hot without the glasses. But uhm… can you  _ see _ anything? Are you going to like… trip and die or something?" He had no idea how strong the teen's prescription was. Or even whether he was near or far sighted for that matter.

“Mnh…” Jean mumbled and nodded, stepping closer to Marco so that he could make out the others facial expression even though it was fuzzy. “Marco… m’short sighted not blind. M’ not gonna kill myself how do you think I managed at the club? Can’t wear them under my mask.” He spoke quietly, voice sounding like he had some awful cold but it was just from overuse. Blushing heavily at the comment about his looks without glasses.

“Mnh… water…” He croaked and hovered where he stood for a moment because just going into Marco’s kitchen and making himself a drink felt a bit rude so soon. Even if he had just jizzed three times on his couch and slept in the man’s bed.

Marco laughed at that response. "I… guess I didn't think of that. Sorry." Jean's voice sounded entirely wrecked. He felt a bit guilty for his part in that for a moment but couldn't feel too bad. Not after remembering how fantastic the other's noises had sounded and the feeling of fucking the younger man's mouth. Combined with the way Jean's hair was sleep-ruffled, Marco found himself momentarily fighting to contain the thoughts.

"Oh! Right! Sure." Marco hopped up in a hurry. He headed for the kitchen and getting out a glass, filling it quickly to hand back to Jean. "You can just help yourself too though. I don't mind in the slightest. Glasses are there, cutlery there, plates and bowls." Marco gestured out each location as he mentioned it. He'd always been raised that people you invited into your home should be comfortable there. And surely that applied even more when the person in question was your boyfriend and--Marco paused for a moment, realizing he hadn't actually thought the word to himself until then. A small smile flitted back across his face. "So…" He began after a moment, not entirely sure where to go from there but feeling the need to say  _ something _ . And 'so what do we do now that you've gotten off multiple times in my apartment and slept in my bed' didn't quite seem to cut it.

Jean followed Marco into the kitchen and gratefully taking the glass of water when it was handed to him, gulping the whole thing down in one go with a groan of appreciation at the feeling of the cold liquid on his sore throat. “Mn thanks.. next time I’ll get it myself then.” He walked over to the sink and turned on the tap after watching Marco motion to where things were kept.

Jean washed his glass and let it rest on the drainer upside down to dry as he turned off the tap again and then stood a bit awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what to do now, he’d never been in this situation and his idea of relationships was based on yaoi manga, which to be fair wasn’t the best study material considering most of it was sex - some of it without lube even. “Ah… mh… Glasses…” He fidgeted for a second before taking a deep breath and walking over to Marco, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to the other man’s mouth before walking out and back into the bedroom to get his glasses.

Marco's eyes widened slightly at the unexpected kiss. Did he just… Was that even a thing people actually  _ did _ ? Spontaneous little kisses? It wasn't something Marco had experienced, anyway. Then again, he hadn't really had much in the way of cutesy relationship dynamics and he had a sneaking suspicion given Jean's age, relationship experience, and exaggerated response when he even  _ mentioned _ the word 'boyfriend' that he  _ might _ be inclined towards that sort of thing. Marco made a mental note to investigate this when he could.

Brain still catching up, Marco blinked slowly for a moment as Jean walked off. When the other was out of the room, Marco let out a long shuddering sigh, sinking back against the counter for a moment. " _ Fuck he's so cute… _ " He muttered the words quietly to himself. The older man shook himself slightly in an effort to regain his composure before leaving the kitchen.

After searching the bed and finding his glasses shoved under the pillow, Jean put them on and brushed a hand through his hair which was fluffy and messy from sleeping and… other things. He walked back into the lounge and quietly sat down on the couch, looking outside to the setting sun and sighing, though it was still relatively early given that it was only the end of January it felt like he’d have to leave soon.

“Mnh, sorry I fell asleep, I didn’t think I would… that’s just… I mean…” He stuttered for a moment and his face blossomed into a brilliant shade of red remembering his latest orgasm. “I came.. right? I mean.. that’s never happened before but it felt like I came just… it hurt a bit too.” Squinting his eyes in thought, Jean chewed on his thumbnail for a moment before adding. “It..it was super intense though…” He didn’t look up at Marco, too embarrassed.

Marco laughed slightly, scratching at the back of his head. "No, don't apologize. You needed the rest. I don't mind." He refrained from the comment he wanted to make about just how adorable he thought Jean was for falling asleep on him like that. "But I uh… Yeah, you've uhm… never had a dry orgasm though, I guess? Well… before today anyway? They can be a bit… unsettling." As much as he would gladly walk Jean through just about any sexual act, just  _ talking _ about it in a nonsexual context was… weird. It reminded the older man of the age difference between them in an uncomfortable way.

"I guess I just milked you dry is all." Marco stuck his tongue out with a teasing curve to his lips. He stifled a yawn shortly after, realizing he was surprisingly tired. Jean had gotten the advantage of a nap; Marco hadn't. He laughed awkwardly, blinking hard and shaking his head. "Nh… sorry. I shouldn't be this tired. Been a long week, I think." Between all of the ups and downs of the day itself, plus not sleeping well the night before from being too worried about their meeting, plus the anxiety and insecurity of feeling as if Jean had ditched him for the entire week before, the freckled man was not well-rested in the slightest. And it seemed to be catching up with him. But he also didn't want Jean to leave. And yet he didn't want him walking home too late.

“No, I didn’t even know it was a thing. Like my balls just gave up huh. Weird… N-not that I disliked it…” Jean started off cocky but ended n a more familiar shy note, scrunching his face as Marco said he had milked Jean dry. “T-that’s so cringey Marco oh my god you dork.” He nudged Marco’s shoulder as the older man stuck out his tongue and then lapsed into a thoughtful silence as Marco yawned and mentioned being tired.

“You should sleep. I can’t imagine what crazy shit you must have to do all the time and then you even went out of your way to meet me n stuff on a rest day.” Jean stood up and picked up the trousers that were still on the floor, leaning over Marco to get his bag and stuff them inside too with a soft grunt of effort to get them to fit. “I should go home anyway I think… uh… get some shopping on the way before the shops close.” He looked around for a moment before seeing his inhaler and shoving that in his bag too.

Without missing a beat this time Jean leaned down and pressed a kiss to Marco’s lips, then to the top of the other man’s head impulsively. “I can just walk out right? I mean… the guard downstairs won't try to frisk me?” The teen asked as he threw the bag over a shoulder.

Marco couldn't help being incredibly satisfied by making Jean cringe with his comment, grinning a bit wider. Moments like that were very nice and very familiar. They were reassuring that yes, he was a dork, but they  _ both _ were. In their own ways. "Eh, it's mostly routine. A chaotic routine but you get used to it…" Trying to not look too outwardly disappointed by the idea that Jean was leaving, Marco gave a small nod. "But it would be good for you to have some  _ actual _ food in your house. At least consider something different than ramen. Microwave pasta or something."

The freckled man smiled at the small kisses before pulling an odd sort of face at the question. "Frisk you? God no. It's not a prison. They don't care who leaves, they just don't like to let anyone but residents & approved people in after dark. Believe me, I had enough drunk kids banging on my door at all hours of the night at my old complex, it's a welcome break." Marco shrugged before biting his lip. "So… I'll… see you soon? And… on snapchat yeah? Or… I can just… give you my number? If you… wanna text me or whatever?" He wasn't entirely sure when the last time he'd actually  _ offered _ to give his number to someone was but it made him oddly anxious.

Jean laughed a little bit at Marco’s comments and gave a nod, noting the slight discomfort in the other man’s posture and tone as he mentioned giving out his phone number. Not that Jean could blame him he supposed, and he didn’t want to make Marco feel anxious. “I’ll snap you like usual, Marco. I’ll get your number next time or something kay? I understand.” Jean turned to make his way to the door to put his shoes on, paused, then turned around and grabbed both sides of Marco’s face as he leaned down to kiss him again. This time it lingered and Jean closed his eyes as he moved his lips over Marco’s with a soft sigh and a quick lick before he pulled away again and actually went to put his shoes on.

When he was done he grabbed the door handle and hesitated, but he knew if he didn’t just leave right now that he wouldn’t want to leave at all. “I… I’ll see you, then. Ge-get some sleep!” He said before all but daring out of the door, face red all the way to the tips of his ears and the back of his neck.

Letting out an unsteady breath, Marco nodded, smiling broadly in moments. "Next time." There would be a next time. Jean wanted to come back. Sure he knew Jean had a thing for the  _ idea _ of him since he saw the poster on the other's wall. And their mutual flirting had been anything but subtle. But he still wouldn't have blamed the teen for freaking out and running from the idea of actually being with  _ him _ and the intersection of those two identities. But he wanted to come back.  _ Next time _ .

Marco hummed softly into the kiss, half tempted to just pull the other down on top of him. But then Jean pulled away. He didn't dare look at the door as the younger man put on his shoes and left out of worry he might jinx it or something. He didn't want to jinx Jean's coming back, as illogical as it was to think that he might. "Y-you too…" He only just managed the words before the door closed between them.

Left in the silence of his apartment, Marco sighed loudly. Today had been a weird day. After moving to lock the door, Marco headed for his room, collapsing onto the bed and taking a deep breath. He startled slightly and then laughed, sending off a quick snap of himself curled against the pillow. 'Smells like you now.' The words were shoved off to the bottom of the frame. He sighed, curling into the pillow more. Maybe a nap wasn't such a terrible idea after all.

Jean had just made it out of the building - having remembered to put his mask on in the elevator - when his phone vibrated and he dug it out of his bag to read the message. His face had just returned to it’s normal pallor but when he read the snap he blushed again and laughed to himself, taking a return photo of himself making the peace sign. ‘Dun get 2 excited then!’ He wrote and sent it off before stuffing his phone back into his bag.

Jean went home before going to the grocery shop, dropping his bag in and shoving his clothes in the washing machine with a bunch of other stuff before leaving again to get ‘something other than ramen’, because there was no way the teen was going into the shop with a bag full of cum stained clothing. No way in hell. Jean ended up buying three packs of microwave pizzas, a carton of six packs of microwave fries and about six pots of instant ramen, he contemplated snapping Marco to tell him ‘see I’ve been a good boy for you’ but decided against it because he didn’t want to wake the other man up.

When he got home Jean put his food away and then flopped face first into his bed. He could really do with a shower but he was so tired again already that he just let out a soft groan and fell asleep without meaning to, fully dressed glasses n all. The events of the day having taken a massive toll on the youth.


	7. Utaite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco discovers something new about Jean. Well... maybe two things. First of several valentine's day chapters!

The next few weeks passed quickly, if frustratingly with not nearly interaction between himself and Jean for Marco's taste. They had a new song they were rehearsing and he spent countless hours in rehearsal that left him exhausted and half dead with no energy to speak, much less move. He had only managed to see Jean twice since the first time the younger man had come to his apartment, but they did keep in touch with snaps--and texts once Marco managed to get over himself and trade phone numbers with him. But despite the infrequent in-person contact, Marco was relatively happy with the situation.

Thankfully, the next day was Valentine's day. It was kind of a pointless holiday but he'd come to realize his suspicions were correct and Jean was in fact some sort of sappy romantic. So Marco figured he should make an effort. Obviously, if he were to be spotted with anyone on the day, it would have caused a splash, so going out wasn't an option. But they could at least spend time together at Marco's place.

But for the moment, it was approaching midnight and Marco couldn't sleep. So instead, as usual, he was poking around on his tablet. He'd gotten off on a tangent from vocaloid songs into utaite singers and wound up clicking through recommended videos. It was when a version of  _ ME!ME!ME! _ came up that he stopped dead in his tracks. The first minute of the video seemed weirdly familiar in a way he couldn't place but when the tempo changed and the words became that much more speech-like, he paused, concentrating further on the audio, turning the volume up and pressing his headphones against his head. And another half minute later, his eyes widened. That… sounded like…  _ Jean _ ? The voice sounded too spot-on, too accurate. Marco looked at the name who had uploaded it; they went by 'Neo' apparently. It couldn't be. ...Could it?

A few clicks later and Marco was clicking through their uploads, eventually landing on their version of a song called  _ The Lost One's Weeping _ . It was good,  _ really _ good. It was  _ passionate _ even and the way the guy's voice cracked on the emphasis was just  _ so _ familiar. The voice sounded so  _ broken _ and… really a terrifying amount like Jean. Marco clicked through some more tracks and his suspicions only seemed to have more and more substantial weight behind them. Marco needed to know. He needed to get to the bottom of this. He knew the teen would never admit to it if Marco called him out on it. So he set a plan. Marco queued up a playlist with a few filler tracks at the top for them to settle in by and then some from this 'Neo', saving it for the next day. Then, finally, he slept, raw vocals dancing in his head.

The next day when Jean was scheduled to arrive, Marco pulled up the playlist. Setting it to go as background music, just loud enough to be clearly heard but still spoken over, he was satisfied, pausing it again. He waited for Jean's knock at his door before hitting play again.

Jean was, for lack of a better phrase, pent up. He understood Marco had a hectic schedule and that was fine, in-fact he thought it was some kind of amazing miracle the guy even wanted to still speak to him after seeing him and finding out his real age, but that didn’t change the fact that two meetings and a bunch of snapchats were not enough for his libido and his craving for hugs. Just being in the same room as Marco would be enough  _ anything _ was better than being apart this long. So when valentine's day came along he got showered, dressed and ready three hours early.

Jean had shoved a change of clothes, and three ties from his old middle school uniform in an old backpack - he was…  _ maybe _ going to offer Marco the opportunity of tying him up with them but he wasn’t sure if he’d have the guts or if Marco would even be interested. Still, it was worth a try and he wasn’t going to buy the man flowers or anything stupid like that, for one Marco was not a woman… secondly he probably got hundreds of things like that and it made him uncomfortable to be ‘just the same as all the other fans’.

Having donned his mask Jean made his way to Marco’s after walking around for the three hours he’d been early - he was way too fidgety to sit in his apartment waiting and he didn’t want to be an inconvenience and turn up early. Just before he got to Marco’s apartment building Jean opened his bag and peered inside, a small silver tin was inside and he chewed his lip with an almost nauseous sense of apprehension. Jean had spent the last week spending his money on ingredients for red velvet cake, and making cake after cake in an attempt to have something for the other man. He wasn’t sure if he could stand to give it to Marco though, it probably tasted gross… even if it was edible to him he didn’t exactly have the best pallet and Jean zipped his bag up with a sigh and made his way to Marco’s apartment.

Guiltily slipping past the guard station and into the elevator, Jean smoothed his hair down one last time before knocking on Marco’s front door.

Marco heard the knock and all but jolted out of his seat. He glanced at the tablet set up on a small table against the wall. The freckled man debated for a moment if this was the best way to go about this question but ultimately wound up tapping the 'play' button, smoothing out his dark green satin button-down, and walking over to open the door. He had about fifteen minutes, maybe a little bit less, before the videos in question started. And he wanted to make sure Jean was settled in first, lest he just combust and bolt.

Letting out a long, slow breath, Marco opened the door. He noticed his hand trembling slightly on the handle. Was he nervous? Fuck he  _ was _ nervous. He tried his best to swallow his nerves before opening the door and stepping to the side to let the younger man in and close the door behind him. "...Hey. Uhm… happy valentine's day?" From the door the music was just barely audible. "I uhm… tossed on some noise for the background. Hope you don't mind."

When Marco opened the door Jean thought he would faint because fuck, every single time he ended up a bundle of nerves despite how much they snapped each other. “H-hey...Happy Valentines…” He squeaked, voice cracking around the last word as he slipped into the apartment and toed off his shoes. “Music’s fine… great, actually. I like music.” Jean held the strap of his bag in both hands and as soon as the door was closed he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Marco’s lips.

“Mn… I missed you. Are you sure you’re not tired today? Do you need to rest?” He asked, worried he might be taking too much rest time away from Marco, especially as they always seemed to get rather physical.

Marco rolled his eyes slightly at the way Jean's voice cracked. And he thought  _ he _ was nervous. It was reassuring, at least. He let his hands fall to Jean's waist at the kiss and the question, smiling softly. "I missed you too. But I'm fine. Let me worry about me, okay? Today's for you." Marco leaned in, pulling the other man closer for a more lingering kiss. He nipped once at Jean's lips before pulling back with a playful grin.

"Now are you going to stand by my door all day or are you going to settle in? Something to drink? I was… thinking we could order food in a little while. Or I can pop out and get something if you want something that doesn't deliver. Anything you want, okay?" Marco grinned, tugging Jean farther into the apartment. It was the least he could offer. And this way at least hopefully Jean wouldn't react too terribly with Marco's plot to see if he had a little vocal secret.

“Mnh…” Jean sighed into the second kiss and stuck his tongue out at Marco’s question about staying in the doorway. “Dunno, how inclined are you to get sucked off in the entryway?” Jean teased as he was tugged into the apartment. “Alright, dunno what I fancy to eat yet though…” He walked over to the couch and sat down near the middle, resting his bag on his lap almost awkwardly and tilting his head to watch Marco. “Bet you won't give me anything alcoholic huh… Do you have any soda?” Jean asked, kicking his socked feet back and forth slightly.

He’d tried his best to dress up a bit more than usual again, a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbows hung on his form and was actually well fitted unlike his usual sweaters or t-shirts. A padded black vest was over top of it to keep the chill from his chest, and he was wearing a pair of khaki coloured cargo pants that covered most of his feet so just his toes were peeking out the end.

Jean did manage to make Marco choke slightly with his comment about being sucked off right there. The idea  _ was _ tempting. But the older of the two did his best to recover from it quickly. Marco furrowed his brows slightly at how oddly and carefully the teen was holding his bag. He chose to stay silent for the moment, focusing on the other's question instead.

"No, you're not getting alcohol. Not in my apartment anyway. Uhm… Coke? Dr pepper? I… think I have some orange soda left?" Marco headed for the kitchen as he listed off the options he could think of, getting down two glasses and tossing some ice into each. He popped open a can of coke for himself, dumping it into one glass carefully. He couldn't resist being a little bit of a pain as he rummaged around in the kitchen, smirk clear in his tone as he spoke. "You look really nice today, y'know. Hot, even. Clothes that are actually your size suit you. Maybe you should try it more often." His mind ticked down the countdown, knowing he only had a few minutes left before the first of the songs he was wondering about.

“Pft, knew it. I want Dr Pepper then please.” He wasn’t used to saying please, unless it was begging Marco for something during their less than innocent encounters. Jean put the bag on the floor and stared at it for a moment whilst Marco was still in the kitchen, he hadn’t worked up the nerve to open it and offer either of his presents yet, so he let his head fall back onto the couch as he looked up towards the ceiling.

But then he froze as the familiar starting notes of a song came on, he shook his head slightly and closed his eyes because  _ there’s no way its me _ . But then the unmistakable sound of his voice came out of the speakers crystal clear and Jean’s eyes popped open to stare widely upwards, his face exploding into a brilliant shade of crimson as his hands fisted in the fabric covering his thighs.  _ Why is he playing this why why oh god _ . “I...I didn’t… kn-know you liked…. Utaite…” He squeaked, trying to sound conversational but even to his ears it sounded more like a cross between a dying animal and someone who was constipated.

"So polite…" Marco muttered in amusement, emptying a can of Dr Pepper into the other glass before heading back towards the couch. His timing couldn't have been better. The older man could see how Jean's eyes snapped open to stare at the ceiling and the dark colour his face turned.  _ Busted _ . If there was one thing Marco knew, it was music. And part of that was knowing a voice when he heard it.

Marco moved to sit down on the couch. He set the glasses down on the coffee table before sitting sideways to better look at the teen. "Mmh… Yeah, sometimes, but I listen to a lot of stuff. Some of it's really cool. I like hearing what people can do without equipment that costs hundreds of thousands, y'know? And  _ nothing _ is more dedicated than these utaite projects. Plus they're adorably dorky. I just found this guy last night, actually. Popped into my recommended. He's  _ really _ good, don't you think? I love how much feeling he puts into it." His voice was deliberately relaxed and casual, innocent of the mischief that sparked in his eyes.

He was going to die of embarrassment. Jean was a goner, there was no facing Marco after this it was one of the most horrifically embarrassing things to happen to Jean in a long time. It wasn’t just because Marco was his boyfriend and he wanted the other man to be impressed with him not… not hear  _ that _ , no it was also because Marco was a professional fucking singer and Jean was just some guy who liked to sing in his room and post videos and maybe get a few likes and comments.

He thought he might hyperventilate as Marco talked, and talked… and said how much he liked it which couldn’t be true. “I.. no…I ...uhm… hah…” Jean lifted his hands and covered his face with them, paused and then actually took off his glasses to rest them on the arm of the couch before pressing his hands back into place to hide his expression. “ _ Oh god _ .” He whined softly. “T-turn it off P-please..this is mortifying… I didn’t...you weren’t supposed to hear..oh god.” Jean wanted to cry.

"What, not your style? Hmm… I'd think you'd like this kind of thing. It seems like it'd be up your alley." Marco continued to tease at playing dumb and watched with some small sense of mirth as Jean slowly grew more and more panicked. The teen was  _ clearly _ mortified. Marco chose to revel in it for a moment. He was  _ very _ sure Jean had never mentioned singing, even as a hobby. And had even made comments about being 'kind of crappy' at it. Which was obviously a bald-faced lie. Marco had to get his payback somehow.

It was clear as it transitioned from one song into another, this time a cover of  _ Unravel _ , that it was a  _ playlist _ not just one song. Marco couldn't help himself as he leaned over to whisper teasingly in the other's ear. "You know… you sound  _ so _ much like this when you've sucked me off too much… I  _ wonder _ why that could be… Have any ideas? I mean I'd  _ love _ to hear you scream like that." Marco gave a low chuckle, nipping once at Jean's ear.

“N-no...please...Marco..” Jean’s breath hitched. The professional singer was  _ not _ supposed to ever hear  _ Jean _ singing. He was average at  _ best _ even if he did upload his songs for fun. When Unravel came on he slipped lower down on the couch and shook his head, Marco whispering in his ear like that and the nip made him stutter on a groan and Jean lifted his hands from his face and turned to face Marco. Only to press his hands onto the older man’s ears so he couldn’t hear the music, or at least muffle it.

Jean had tears of humiliation in his eyes but he was sort of glaring at the other man too. Jean found he couldn’t have Marco looking at him so he moved his hands from his ears to cover his eyes instead. “I-... it’s s-so bad compared to you Marco … y-you’re so mean.” He sobbed again, hot tears making tracks down his tomato red cheeks.

Marco blinked with a frown when his ears were suddenly covered. And… was Jean crying? But then the freckled man's eyes were covered instead and he sighed. He pulled Jean's hands away from his face, wrapping the teen up into a tight hug against his chest. Mean? Did he think Marco was making fun of him or something? "It is  _ not _ bad… Jean you're good. You're so good." He placed a few small kisses to the top of Jean's head.

"Look, I'll turn it off if you really want me to. But  _ fuck _ Jean. I'm not kidding. You're  _ good _ ! My goddamn microphone probably costs more than everything you own. There's people who's entire job is to edit that stuff. Yours was what… under a hundred? And you edit it all yourself? And you can  _ still _ make stuff like this? That's fantastic! Have you  _ seen _ how many hits your stuff has? Your subscriber count? I'm honestly so impressed. I didn't know you could sing but you're  _ good _ . I mean it. Do you… not realize that? Do you not see how good you are?" Marco grew hesitant with his last words, clinging tighter around the other.

When Marco hugged him Jean wrapped his arms around the other man and hid his face against Marco’s chest. “W-way under a hundred I’m piss poor you know.” He clarified on the price and laughed on a sob. He wasn’t really angry with Marco, the other man seemed to genuinely like the songs although Jean couldn’t see  _ why _ when he was so much better. “I… Connie helps...a bit...hnh...b-but I’m just.. like… average, actually more on the lower end I… I’m so embarrassed that you heard it I could die.”

Jean fisted his hands in the back of Marco’s shirt and nuzzled against his chest, taking a deep breath to calm himself and feeling like an idiot because he  _ always  _ ended up crying in front of Marco it seemed. “You… dun have to turn it off. I’m just really…  _ really _ embarrassed... L-like I  _ love _ doing it but I never expected many people to listen to it let alone my favourite idol...m-my… boyfriend.”

Marco laughed at the price clarification, nodding slightly. It made sense. "Average? Your voice is gorgeous." He kissed at the top of the other's head again when he was nuzzled, a smile creeping back onto his face. He still felt that same familiar flutter whenever Jean openly referred to him as his boyfriend. "Well honestly, you don't have to be embarrassed. Who wouldn't want to listen to you? Your range is great, your vocals are so emotive, you just obviously give it your all. Just imagine what you could do with some decent equipment."

Marco paused before adding onto his words more quietly, just so that Jean could barely hear. He knew it was probably an overwhelming thing to say to someone like Jean and ran the risk of just freaking him out more, but he spoke anyway. "I mean hell…  _ I'd _ sing with you. You know… if you wanted." He was a little louder when he continued. "But I mean… I dunno if you could handle the attention if just a little recognition from your boyfriend makes you cry and call me mean. Me! Mean! I will have you know I am an absolute  _ saint _ ." He laughed, tone clearly joking.

“A-ah…” Jean made a small sound of affirmation at Marco’s words, because honestly? What else could he say to his boyfriend’s compliments.  _ Genuine _ compliments at that. “ _ Y-you...with me? _ ” Jean squarked at Marco’s words and if it were possible he would blush even more because the concept was mind boggling, that would… be amazing, but also terrifying. “I-I… Marco.. that… I mean.. w-wow…” He swallowed thickly and squeezed the other man a bit more tightly, giving Marco a light fwap on his back as he called himself a saint.

Jean snorted. “Heh… you’re a sadist. Saint my left nut.” He muttered. “You might have everyone else fooled but I  _ know _ now.” Jean tipped his head back so he was looking up and licked the underside of Marco’s chin, just because. He felt a bit better now, being in Marco’s arms and the light humor washing away a bit of the mortification he’d felt at first. Jean reluctantly pulled out of Marco’s hold and bent to his bag, less embarrassed now because damn, a cake couldn't be more humiliating than Marco hearing him sing no matter how bad it tasted.

“Um...I… um… here!” Jean said as he pulled the tin out of the bag and held it out stiffly to Marco.

Marco squawked indignantly as he was licked, scrunching up his nose and sticking out his tongue. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." He cleared his throat, giving a small shrug. "But anyway, you don't have to decide anytime soon. But, if you wanna, offer's there."

He frowned curiously when Jean squirmed out of his grip to look for something in his bag. And then there was a silver tin being thrust in his direction? Marco blinked, looking between Jean's face and the container a few times before taking it slowly, curious frown still in place. A cake? And it was pretty obviously homemade too? He felt a slight hint of colour rise to his cheeks. "Jean I… Did you make this? ...For me?" The guy made him a  _ cake _ ? If that wasn't the single most cheesy thing anyone had ever done for Marco, he wasn't sure what was. But it was sweet and horrifically lame and just… really really  _ Jean _ . And the older man couldn't contain a soft smile at that.

Jean couldn’t process the offer that Marco had made properly yet, like… he was  _ serious _ about it? That was… that was beyond his dreams even before he met the guy. All he could do was nod in response, then again as Marco asked if the cake was for him and if Jean had made it. “I-if you dun like that sort of thing you dun have to eat it!” He blurted out. “I… it might be bad anyway I only managed to practice for a w-week… so..uh… just.. I mean.. i hope it’s ok..” He squeaked, hunching in on himself and wrapping his arms around his stomach - which was beginning to ache a bit from all the stress and nerves.

_ Shit, I should be over this super nervous crap already I’m so lame. _ Jean thought to himself. “I mean I bought something else too but I… actually ever mind there’s no way… forget it.” Jean backpedaled and grabbed his Dr Pepper from the table, taking a gulp and scrunching his face as the bubbles tickled it and made his nose fizz for a moment.

Marco smiled broadly at Jean's stumbling and squeaked response, the slight blush still tinting his own cheeks. He leaned in, careful of the cake, to leave a light kiss on the other's forehead. "This is really sweet. Thank you. I… I don't know the last time someone actually  _ made _ me something." He thought for a moment, quirking his brow. Marco decided to set the cake carefully on the coffee table behind his drink for the moment.

"But… now you've got me curious…" He began, sitting fully sideways again to face the younger man. A little smirk flickered across his face. This was a  _ different _ sort of nervous Jean than the 'I hope you like my dorky cake' Jean. The way he backpedaled so quickly was evidence of that. Marco decided to press forward. "And you know I can't drop it once you've got me curious… So… what's this mysterious other thing that's got you so panicked? Hmm…?"

“Mhn…” Jean made the noise in response to the kiss on his forehead and kept his gaze firmly on his feet, toes wiggling nervously. “N-no I… it’s stupid. I mean maybe a bit weird an-and presumptive too so… I mean..” Jean flailed his hands around as he spoke, gesticulating his words as if he could make the situation go away - which he knew he couldn’t because A) Marco was a stubborn bastard and B) Jean was weak.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Jean swore and reached into his bag, grabbing the three ties and pulling them out, the royal blue of the fabric bright against his pale skin as he thrust them towards Marco without comment. Eyes still firmly on his own feet.

Marco watched with increasingly raised brows as Jean continued gesturing to the point of flailing. He was really freaked out, wasn't he? He was almost about to tell the younger man to forget it with how freaked out he was. But then he was digging into his bag and holding something out at Marco. He reached out, tentatively taking the strips of blue fabric with a confused expression. These were… ties? Marco thumbed across the fabric, noticing the insignia emblazoned on them. "Wow… you went  _ there _ ? You... really are a nerd, wow. But I don't understand what are…?"

Jean had handed Marco ties. These were  _ ties _ . Fucking school ties. What was he supposed to do with these? Why did he--Oh.  _ Oh _ . The equation snapped together in Marco's mind with a start and his eyes went wide. "...Jean… are… you… asking me what I think you are…?" He let out a shaky breath, looking between the fabric in his hand and what he could see of Jean's face. "You… want me to… to t-tie you up?"


	8. Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco let out a shaky breath, looking between the fabric in his hand and what he could see of Jean's face. "You… want me to… to t-tie you up?" 
> 
> Valentine's day part two! The boys get a little kinky and Jean has some more new experiences.

Marco watched with increasingly raised brows as Jean continued gesturing to the point of flailing. He was really freaked out, wasn't he? He was almost about to tell the younger man to forget it with how freaked out he was. But then he was digging into his bag and holding something out at Marco. He reached out, tentatively taking the strips of blue fabric with a confused expression. These were… ties? Marco thumbed across the fabric, noticing the insignia emblazoned on them. "Wow… you went  _ there _ ? You… really are a nerd, wow. But I don't understand what are…?"

Jean had handed Marco ties. These were  _ ties _ . Fucking school ties. What was he supposed to do with these? Why did he--Oh.  _ Oh _ . The equation snapped together in Marco's mind with a start and his eyes went wide. "...Jean… are… you… asking me what I think you are…?" He let out a shaky breath, looking between the fabric in his hand and what he could see of Jean's face. "You… want me to… to t-tie you up?"

Jean almost facepalmed as Marco missed the point entirely at first. “Yes… Yes I went  _ there _ …” He mumbled hotly, wondering if it was just going to end with Marco feeling confused and awkward. But then the older man seemed to click as to what the meaning behind them was and Jean put his face in his hands in an attempt to stifle his embarrassment and the images Marco’s voice saying ‘tie you up’ bought.

“No- ..Y-yes...uhm… if you wanna…” Jean bit his lip and peeked out from his hands, turning his head to look at Marco with one side of his face still covered. The other man looked a bit blurred but Jean could see him well enough to know exactly what expression was on the other man’s face, he could even make out some of his freckles. “D-do you… wanna?”

Marco's cheeks were tinted with a dark blush. Jean was asking the older man to tie him up. Jean tied up. Marco being able to play with a tied up Jean. The images that were flowing easily through his mind had his cock twitching to a half-hard state already. "Do I…" Marco trailed off, his mouth suddenly very dry. He moved to take a drink from his glass, setting it back on the table before looking back at the other man. He reached out, taking one of Jean's hands in his and guiding it to Marco's crotch and the hardness there. "Fuck, Jean. Do I wanna? Why don't you tell me what  _ you _ think?"

Standing abruptly, Marco smirked, easily losing his earlier quivering uncertainty. He reached out to ghost a fingertip under Jean's chin and point the teen's face up towards him. "The only question is… Do you only want me to tie these to you and themselves? Or would you be okay with me tying you  _ to _ something? Because mind you I've got a  _ very _ sturdy bed frame that I think would be an  _ excellent _ addition to this equation…" Marco licked his lips slowly.

Jean watched Marco blush, watched the way the older man took a drink and let his hand be taken when it was reached for. Then he groaned and sucked his lower lip between his teeth as Marco pressed the hand to his clothed dick and Jean was very  _ very _ sure that they other man approved. “Nmm…” Jean leaned into the touch to his chin like a cat and looked up at Marco through his bangs.

“Oh fuck… Marco take me to bed.” He groaned, his own dick twitching to life in anticipation and he stood up rather abruptly and grabbed the older man's wrist. “B-bed. Now.” Jean half growled the words and walked towards the bedroom, tugging the other man along behind him. Once they were there Jean wasted no time in stripping himself of his padded vest, unbuttoning his shirt as he turned to face Marco and walk backwards towards the bed. “You gonna take these off me or should I do it?” He asked through the heat of an aroused blush.

"Fuck…" Marco shuddered at how those words about 'taking him to bed' sounded from the other man's lips. He  _ very _ much wished he could take those words to their fullest right then. He let out a pleased noise when Jean grabbed at his wrist and just tugged him along as if it was the most natural thing. It always pleased Marco when the smaller man took the initiative, guiding the actions.

Marco smirked at the teasing comment. He closed the space between them with a few large strides, wrapping a hand around Jean's waist and pulling the teen against him tightly. He ground their bodies together just enough to tease both of them, letting out a small breathy sound. He ghosted his hands up Jean's stomach and chest before slipping the shirt free from his shoulders. His hands followed the path of the fabric, trailing down the younger man's arms teasingly before taking both of his wrists, moving to grip them easily with one hand. Marco thumbed at the fabric of one of the ties, testing how rough it was before tossing the other two onto the bed.

With an easy motion, Marco moved to tie Jean's smaller wrists together, pulling the fabric tight before giving back a little bit of slack and finishing off the knot. When he spoke, his words were slightly breathless, pupils already blown out. "Lemme know if these are too tight, okay?"

Jean smiled back at the smirk directed at him, gasping as their bodies brushed close and his hips bucked just the slightest bit at the teasing pressure. “Nnnh…” Jean tilted his head back and let Marco slide his shirt off, arching into the touch and trying not to think about how this was the first time he’d been completely topless in-front of the other man… at least in person.

Jean let his wrists be held together, looking down at the way Marco’s hand easily grasped at his both of his wrists and the image made him groan again because  _ fuck _ Marco was so much stronger than him and he  _ loved _ it. When Marco wrapped the tie around him and tied it in a tight around around his wrists Jean couldn’t help the shuddering moan that fell from his lips, he was already half panting, too. This felt way better than he thought it would. “Hha… feels… feels real good, actually.” He licked his lips, his cargo pants already embarrassingly tented.

"Does it now?" Marco purred the words. He slid one hand down to palm Jean's cock teasingly, grinding his hand against it after a moment. Undoing the button and zipper slowly, he let the other's pants fall naturally, guiding him to step out of them. He paused before moving his hands to Jean's waist and sliding his underwear down. It occurred to Marco that this was the first time he'd seen the younger man completely naked and he froze for a moment, taking a slight step back to appreciate the fact, looking his boyfriend up and down thoroughly. "Fuck… Jean have I told you how fucking hot you are?"

Marco reached out and again held Jean's wrists easily in one hand as he guided the other to turn away from him. Pressing his clothed erection up against the younger's naked ass, Marco gave a small groan. He let the fingers of his free hand move up Jean's arm to his shoulder before dropping down slowly. He moved down Jean's chest slowly, brushing lightly across one nipple before tweaking it between his fingers curiously and then a bit firmer as he left a few small kisses on Jean's shoulder. Marco rolled his hips slightly with another small noise.  _ Fuck _ he wanted to be able to fuck Jean so badly.

“Yeah… ah-” Jean bucked his hips into the hand, whining slightly as Marco moved it away again to undo his pants and let them drop to the floor, chewing his lip Jean stepped out of them and his underwear. Eye’s now glued to the floor in embarrassment at standing completely naked - aside from his charcoal coloured socks - in front of Marco for the first time. “Y-yeah…” He was all but panting now, just the act of being undressed making his breath come in hitches and his voice come out on breathy moans as he was turned so his back was facing Marco.

Jean made a questioning noise at first until he felt Marco grind against his ass and he couldn’t help the guttural moan that broke free as he pressed back against Marco’s clothed cock. “Nh… M-Marco ah-” Jean arched his back as Marco toyed with his nipple and kissed his shoulder. “F-fuhk… more… there…” Jean pressed his chest against Marco’s hand whist his hips rolled back against the hot erection he could easily feel behind him.

Marco revelled in all the small noises that escaped from Jean--and in the fact that he was the one to cause them. He shuddered harshly with a low moan when the other man rolled his hips back, responding with a harder pinch of the nipple in his grasp. He moved to brush against and pinch the younger's other nipple in the same way as he ground himself against Jean's ass again.

"Ngh… fuck this… Just… stay still a sec." Marco stepped back for a moment. After fumbling slightly with what he presently felt was  _ far _ too many buttons as he stripped off his own shirt and pants, he was left in nothing but his boxers. He pressed himself up against Jean from behind again, a soft moan escaping him practically against Jean's ear at the contact of his chest and the other's back. Moving to tweak at both of the teen's nipples, he ground his length against Jean's ass again, now separated by only one thin cloth layer. Marco moaned at the sensation, nipping at the other's shoulder lightly. "Oh…  _ fuck yes _ …" It was better but he was still desperate for more.

“EUh-” Jean gasped on an almost yelp at the harder pinch to his nipple but despite the noise his dick twitched in response and he revelled in it. He whined when Marco pulled away from him and stood there unmoving like he’d been told as he waited, and then Jean was rewarded with Marco pressed against his back again with decidedly less clothing and it ripped a moan from the shorter man.

Doing his best to grind back against Marco, Jean’s movements faltered when this time both of his nipples were assaulted at the same time and he shuddered and gasped. “M-Marco oh  _ fuck _ .” He pushed his hips back harder and brought his tied hands up to his mouth, biting the knuckle of an index finger as he muffled his breathing with the back of his hand. “F-feels so good… more… _ please _ Marco... your hands feel so good… your dick feels so great … against m-my ass...mnnh!”

Marco continued rolling his hips against Jean's ass and toying with his nipples. Small groans and moans slipped freely from his lips, the taller man not bothering to stifle them. He placed little nips and kisses across Jean's shoulders between broken sounds as he moved. The shudders that ran through both of them were obvious. The teen's plea made Marco give a little noise in response that wasn't far from a whine. "Fuck… I love it when you talk like that…"

Slowly, he moved one hand down from Jean's nipples to give him a firm stroke instead. "So hot, Jean. God, I wanna fuck your ass  _ so bad _ …" He'd been thinking about it with increasing frequency. Their partly-clothed humping and stroking just wasn't enough and the time left until the teen's birthday seemed like an absolute  _ eternity _ . But that was Marco's line. And he wasn't going to cross it. His eyes fell to the ties left on the bed and a spark of an idea caught itself in his mind. He slowed his movements slightly, actions turning slow and teasing. "How'd you like to try something… a little different? It might seem a little weird though…"  

Jean shivered again and murred in response to the way Marco praised his verbal comments, not that he could stop if he wanted to because it just felt too good and he always  _ always _ craved more. “F-Fuhk!” Jean bucked into the hand that had moved to grip him and he wasn’t shy about the action either, dick throbbing and leaking pre-cum as Marco slowed what he was doing, drawing out another whine from Jean.

“Hnn… anything… I trust you so…  _ anything _ .” Jean groaned out and moved his pelvis to try and speed Marco’s motions on his erection up. He didn't believe for a moment that Marco would do anything to hurt him, and weird wasn’t exactly something Jean was against in the slightest especially when he apparently enjoyed being tied up so much. He briefly wondered what it would be like to use the proper rope for it but for now the ties did the job plenty well enough and Jean was bubbling with impatient lust. “G-god I can’t wait til my birthday…” He groaned as he rolled his hips back again.

Marco loved being able to get those groans and whines and sounds out of the teen. His heart flipped--no  _ lurched _ when Jean said he trusted him so blatantly. Enough to try anything. A small whimper escaped the taller man. Distracted, Marco wound up giving a slightly harder bite to the other's shoulder before he pulled back. He cringed slightly when he realized he'd left a mark, kissing the spot gently. Hopefully it wouldn't stay too vulnerable. "Me either but… Okay. Alright… then… get on the bed and lie back, okay? Hands up by the headboard."

After rummaging through his nightstand drawer for a moment, Marco snatched out a small bottle. He tossed it to the bed carelessly before snatching up the two remaining ties, moving to kneel on the bed by the headboard so that he could tie the smaller man's wrists to it. His heart hammered in his throat, not entirely sure whether he should be doing this but his cock was hard and aching between his legs and Jean was naked and partly bound on his bed and he just  _ needed _ to do  _ something _ .

“Anhh!” The noise that came out of him at the harder bite had Jean wanting to hide his face in his hands with embarrassment, but Marco was kissing the area and speaking again.“Mnh… ok…” Jean said and complied. He awkwardly climbed up onto the bed, his bound hands hindering his movements somewhat but he didn’t struggle too much as he flopped onto his back and lifted his hands up over his head so that the backs of them were resting against the headboard. Jean pressed his legs together and drew his knees up slightly as he waited in an effort to feel less exposed, Marco still had his boxers on of course.

“Oh god Marco… h-hurry up… I… fuck I’m so turned on.” Jean whimpered as the older man tied his wrists to the headboard and Jean squirmed in his place on the bed, arching his back and looking at Marco with half lidded eyes and pupils so dilated they were almost black.

Marco couldn't help a heavy groan at the look Jean was fixing him with. From that half-lidded lusty stare to the long nude expanse of his body to the shock of blue standing out against his skin at the wrists, Marco tried to memorize it all. He was pretty sure that was on or topping the list of the hottest things he'd ever seen. The teen seemed to be making a habit of taking up a good number of the spots on that list. Marco forced a small chuckle, his voice thick with need that contradicted his own words when he spoke. "Patience, Jean… Patience." The  _ last _ thing Marco wanted right now was to be patient. Smirking, he leaned in, stealing a slow and tender kiss from the smaller man. He let a hand trail down Jean's chest, ghosting past a nipple on its way, before moving it lower still, just barely brushing the other man's cock.

Pulling back abruptly, Marco moved down on the bed, scooting the lube down with him. He shimmied out of his boxers quickly, cock almost achingly hard. "You trust me, yeah? So just… relax." The freckled man ran his hands slowly down Jean's legs to his knees. In a swift movement, he lifted the younger man's legs together up onto his shoulder, guiding him to bend at the hips. Marco carefully and tormentingly slowly bound the two pale limbs together.

Marco ran his hands gently down the backs of the other's thighs, meeting at the tops of his legs to ghost up the cleft of his ass. Marco let out a sharp breath at the sensation of Jean's skin under his touch, shuddering noticeably. "So fucking hot, Jean…" Marco shifted their position slightly until his cock pressed slightly into the line separating Jean's thighs. Popping open the small bottle one handed, he slicked his length, hissing slightly at the cold sensation of the lube against his heated flesh. The older man's fingers then moved to slip between Jean's thighs, adding a slickness there as well.

"O-okay… Here goes then." Marco shifted his hips forward, slick cock slipping easily between Jean's thighs in the position. His eyes fluttered shut momentarily with a drawn-out moan. "Fuck… Jean…" It wasn't  _ fucking _ the other man. But  _ god _ it was so deliciously close. He forced his eyes open again, looking down at Jean's face.

Jean kissed Marco back and arched into the touch along his body gasping as his nipple was brushed lightly and then groaning even though the touch to his dick wasn’t nearly enough. When Marco pulled away again and moved down the bed with the small bottle Jean’ growled softly because all he wanted…  _ needed _ was something, anything to give his erection some relief.

“F-fuck…” Jean whispered the word as Marco grabbed his legs and tied them with gentle touches, the other man’s hands slipping low and groping at him in a way that made Jean arch again and groan out a sigh. It all felt so  _ good _ . Jean shivered as the lube was smeared along his thighs, the previous sensation of Marco’s heated erection had been much better, but then it was back and Marco was pressing forwards and  _ oh... _ Jean knew about this.

“Oh fuck  _ yes. _ ” Jean choked out and flexed his thighs in their restrains as Marco thrust into the space between them, the man’s slick cock sliding against the underside of his balls as he moved and Jean let out a strangled whine as he arched and pressed his pelvis down towards Marco’s hips.

Gasping out a moan, Marco shuddered as he felt how Jean's thighs tensed and flexed. "Oh fuck…" He kept his pace slow and even for a few moments, torturing them both but revelling in the sensation of this position this… anything, just in being able to thrust against the younger man and feel this  _ good _ . "Let me hear you… God I wanna hear every noise you make…"

Marco picked up the speed of his movements slightly. His strong hips slid easily back and forth as he held onto the other's legs with one hand, the other hand keeping Jean's hips down slightly. Adjusting their angle slightly, he pushed the teen's legs farther. Remembering just how easily flexible he was, it allowed Marco a more downward thrusting angle that better resembled a fucking motion. He moaned brokenly, picking up his pace again.

Jean mewled at the way Marco swore with pleasure, he loved it when the other man did that. He was such a ‘well behaved idol’ in-front of his fans and the world in general, but when Marco was in his own home he was more loose with his tongue. He swore and smirked and teased and god it drove Jean crazy in all the right ways and then there was  _ this _ , the sexual side that so  _ so _ many wanted to see and very few had and Jean was one of them. His eyes momentarily welled up with the emotion but he was soon throwing his head back as Marco changed their angle.

Jean bent easily, knees closer to his collar bones now as Marco thrust into the space between his thighs “F-fuck you feel so fucking ghood Marco! Nhh-! Shiit” Jean tensed his thighs again and arched into the thrusts, the new angle granting the lower half of his cock some much longed for friction and he couldn’t stop the stuttered, panting gasps and moans from punctuating the air between them. “M-more- ..haa harder! Oh- ngh  _ Marco feels… s-so good! _ ” Oh how he wished that cock was lower, driving into his body instead of between his legs but shit this was good enough.  Jean curled up a bit more, pulling his legs closer to his chest as much as he could with Marco holding them and he groaned at the way the lube seeped down over his cock and made the friction of where it was rubbing against his belly slick.

A series of incoherent moans and broken gasps escaped from Marco's throat as he continued fucking Jean's thighs. Jean's words and encouraging sounds and  _ oh god _ the way he tensed his thighs around Marco's length had him all but keening. As much as he still would have preferred to be fucking the teen's ass rather than his thighs, this was  _ fantastic _ . When the younger man asked for him to go harder, Marco couldn't even think to hesitate.

"Ngh… Jean… Oh fuck…" Marco moved his hands to grip at Jean's hips instead, using them as leverage to thrust harder and faster. He loved the way the smaller man's body rocked beneath him from the force of their movements, shifting up and down the bed slightly. Strong muscles kept the pace up easily, thrusting away at the space between the teen's thighs as he was all but bent in two.

Jean writhed beneath Marco and choked on his moans, oblivious to how tight the tie was around his wrists as he tensed and yanked on it and the friction made his skin red and bruised. When Marco grabbed his hips Jean thought he would cum then and there, the pure sensation of their position and how their bodies were rubbing was making him dizzy and Jean let his head fall to the side, mouth open around his gasps and saliva dribbling from the corner of his mouth as he was too caught up in the moment to worry about something like that.

“Y-yeah… shit… Marco fuck- mngh fuck me hard… f-feels sooh good!” And it did, Jean loved the way he was pushed into such a tightly pressed position, loved the feeling of being tied up and at Marco’s mercy as the older man rammed his cock between the teens legs. He was throbbing and  _ twitching _ with how good it felt and Jean started to sob out those heady moans that he always seemed to be unable to hold back when he was with Marco and so  _ so  _ close to cumming.

“AHn..yeah...fuck- yeah...oh shit I-I’m so close….hnhh...Fuck- your cock’s so good mnhh you hands f-feel so good on my hip-hips oh  _ shit _ !”

Jean looked so lost in his pleasure and the words spilling from his lips sounded it as well. Marco moaned out breathless sounds in return. He thrilled in being the one to make the normally self-conscious Jean lose himself like this. He continued his pace, if anything thrusting harder when Jean started sobbing out his moans. It was clear he was close. But Marco was as well. He hadn't properly fucked anyone in quite some time and while this wasn't either, it was the closest he had been in a while. And the friction between Jean's legs was just right and Marco lost himself in it easily.

With a few more hard snaps of his hips slamming his cock between the teen's thighs, the older man moaned around a broken version of Jean's name. "Oh god oh  _ fuck _ J-jea-ahn…" Marco struggled to keep moving, his eyes on the other man. His hips jerked in small, irregular movements as his climax shattered him momentarily, making him fall apart as stars exploded behind his eyes and he came hard between Jean's thighs.

Jean yanked harder on his wrist restrains and choked down gulps of hair as he moaned even louder, all thoughts about whether someone could hear or not had long gone and even if they hadn’t he was feeling too good to give a shit. “Mh y-yeah… fuck… yeaah c-cumming… gonna hah… fuck Marco I-!!”

Jean cried out over the other man’s own moans of release, tensing only a few moments later and shuddering as an intense wave of bliss washed over him and made his head spin. Jean jerked, hips bucking and legs twitching as he finished spilling himself between his thighs and his stomach, Marco’s cum there pooling enough that their mingled release dribbled and dripped onto the sheets. Jean sagged then, eyes closed and chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His hands were a bit numb and it just added to the feeling of being spent, the chafed sensation around his thighs where they were tied also pleasant.

“S-so goohd…” Jean slurred slightly as he shifted against the sheets. “I-if… it feels that good having something inside me I dunno if I c-can take it… shit…” He murmured, voice cracking just a little around his words as he began to catch his breath.

Still breathing heavily in gasps and pants, Marco had just barely gotten himself back to any degree of coherence when he heard Jean's slurred words. "We can… just see that when we get there, then. ...Right?"  _ When _ . They'd get there. Once Jean was eighteen. Marco gave a breathless laugh as he slipped out from his position, trying to not seem completely boneless as he gently set the other man's legs down to the bed. He struggled to undo the ties with trembling half-responsive fingers as his body hummed pleasantly with how the tingles of his orgasm combined with the dull ache of the exertion.

Marco managed to get the one around the younger man's legs undone and hissed slightly at the chafed irritation left behind, soothing the skin gently with his hands. At least it was only on the teen's thighs where no one was likely to see it, he reasoned. But it still didn't bode well for… Marco felt a moment of panic, hurrying to undo the knots at Jean's wrists and cursing slightly under his breath. He cringed when the fabric fell away, shoving the ties off to be forgotten. Marco gently, tentatively touched at the angry redness around the smaller man's wrists. "Fuck… Jean, baby, I'm so sorry… Are you okay?"

“Mnh..” Jean gave a soft grunt of agreement about ‘when’ they got down to finally having sex, he didn’t think he’d ever been quite so excited about a birthday in his life and he was completely fine it was for such lewd reasons. Jean gave a sigh as his legs were released and let them flop down and open as soon as he was able, murring at the soft touches Marco was soothing him with until the other man stopped all of a sudden.

“Whu?” Jean blinked his eyes open in confusion and watched Marco fumble to undo his wrists. When he saw the red skin and the hint of bruising to come all he could do was feel a small sense of gratification and he wondered if it was because he was just kinky or if it was a pang of his old self-harm urges making an appearance. He pushed  _ those _ thoughts from his mind. “M’fine… I told you it felt good… so good…” He almost purred lifting one of his hands up towards Marco’s face. “If yer worried though you can kiss it better… or y’know.. just kiss me. My mouth is awful lonely.”

Marco hesitated slightly at Jean's reassurance. He bit at his lip for a moment before leaning in to kiss across the red patches of skin. Satisfied for the moment, he closed the distance between them, planting a tender and lingering kiss on the other's lips. "Mmh… if you're sure… I just… don't wanna cause you any issues…" He knew the teen would have to worry about hiding the marks on his wrists now.

If Jean were older, Marco would have had no issue with the idea of covering him in however many marks the smaller man wanted. But as it was… Marco tried to not focus on his worries, laying on his side with a small, still shaky sigh and drawing the other in towards him in a gentle slightly-dazed embrace. "That was… still pretty fantastic though." He realized idly that this was the first time they'd been entirely naked together and bit his lip.

Jean gave a content sigh as Marco kissed his wrist then leaned down to kiss him, the teen arched upwards into it and easily wrapped his arms around the other man. “No one pays  _ that _ much attention to me Marco, s’fine. Well other than Connie but he knows I have a boyfriend anyway.” Jean curled against Marco and ignored the fact that he was naked and covered in cum in favour of focusing on the fact that  _ Marco _ was completely naked, and covered in cum. “Mnh it really was… and messy, too.” Jean illustrated his point by pressing his belly up against the other man’s, the slick feeling of cooling semen smearing between them.

Marco gave a vague murmur of agreement. Jean's mother was never really home and he didn't have much in terms of friends so… It'd probably be fine. He grimaced with a laugh when the younger man was suddenly smearing the cooling cum between them, halfheartedly feigning pushing him away. "Oh jesus, Jean, that's  _ gross _ ."

“Hehe… Gonna have to change the sheets later." 


	9. Astride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean makes a request for something he wants and discovers Marco is very adept with his tongue. 
> 
> Valentine's day part three!

Jean pressed his hands to Marco’s shoulders and pushed the other man until he was flat on his back, the teen swinging a leg over and straddling Marco with an easy slip of his pelvis thanks to the lube still coating his thighs. “I… I really like you, Marco…” He whispered, the mischievous look still on his features but his tone contrasting greatly with how soft and earnest it was. “Like… really  _ really… _ ” Jean leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Marco’s mouth, closing his eyes and licking at the seam of the other man’s lips tentatively.

When the teen had pushed Marco onto his back and moved so that he was straddling Marco's larger frame, Marco stilled, blinking up almost owlishly. The mischievous look on the other's face didn't match at all with his tone, a puzzling contradiction, but his words were sweet and kind. The freckled man smiled gently, despite almost wanting to chuckle at Jean's use of 'really really' for emphasis. Still it felt so good to hear the other express something like that. He would have responded were it not for Jean's lips against his. "Mnh…" Marco returned the kiss easily, parting his lips with a soft sigh at the licking. He decided on following Jean's lead for the kiss, curious if that mischievous glint in his face meant anything.

Jean made a soft noise into the kiss as he shyly pressed forwards with his tongue. Marco was usually the one to steer their kisses and this was the first time Jean had initiated a kiss and Marco remained passive. The teenager moved to lie on-top of Marco more comfortably, pressing their chests together as he lapped at Marco’s mouth and tasted him, lips moving against the other man’s. Jean couldn’t help a soft moan as he wrapped his hands in Marco’s hair for a moment and deepened the kiss even more with just a little falter of unsureness.

Jean pulled back enough to groan out Marco’s name and then nipped at his lips before speaking close enough to brush against them with his own, their breaths mingling. “I… there’s something else I wanna try… but..it’s really embarrassing and I’m not sure if you’d wanna…”

Letting out a soft sigh, Marco letting the younger of the two guide the kiss and deepen it, responding to his cautious and probative movements with a slow and gentle reassurance. He moved his hands gently to sit at the other's hips  He squeezed his grip slightly with a small groan when Jean's hands moved to his hair and he pressed closer still.

"Mmh…? It's okay, just tell me." Marco gave a small little grin, nipping at Jean's lips slightly in return. He squeezed at Jean's hips again with his grip. "You'll never know if you don't ask, right?" He hoped that Jean realized by now that he wasn't going to hold any little ideas the teen had against him.

Jean shifted his hips a little in response to Marco’s hands on them, the motion slick and easy thanks to cum and lube. Jean pressed a quick, soft kiss against Marco’s lips before sitting up and bit and looking off to the side as he spoke, lips quirked in an almost pout. “I… well I  _ know _ we just came n all, and it was really great but I kinda…  _ really _ wanna see what it’s like t-to sixty-nine?” His voice raised in pitch but not volume at the last word, well number.

Jean chewed on his lip as he shifted against Marco again, waiting for the older man’s reaction. He’d probably laugh or something, there was no way that a sixty-nine was anything new to Marco which was ok, but Jean had been interested in the position for longer than he even knew Marco.

Marco's eyes went wide at the suggestion and he sighed out a long, slow breath.The idea of having the younger man's cock--or even his ass in Marco's face like that made his heart race slightly and his cock gave an interested twitch. He sat up on his elbows as much as he could with Jean still straddling him, looking up at the other man's face with a look somewhere between awe and arousal.

"Oh…  _ hell _ yes." Marco breathed out the words. Without giving the teen a chance to react, Marco reached up to tug him back down into a fierce kiss. Biting a bit harshly at Jean's lip, he deepened the kiss only momentarily before pulling back. "You're just full of lovely ideas today…"

Jean was pleased at the way Marco responded to his request and he gave a startled yelp as he was pulled down into a kiss that made him moan and arch his body against the other man’s for a moment until they parted. “Nhm… N-not just today but… I thought it was about time I asked…” Jeans face grew hotter and he leaned in to kiss Marco again to hide his embarrassment, his own cock already twitching in interest at the thought of what was to come.

“S-so… I dunno how to do this… like… laying on our sides or I can straddle your…” He paused to clear his throat. “Your face… from the position you’re already in…” Jean fidgeted in his place astride Marco’s abdomen, fingers smearing through the cum and lube there in an effort to calm himself.

"Mm…" Marco mock-contemplated the situation for a moment before continuing with a smirk. There really was no question there. The answer should have been obvious. "Having a hot guy sitting on my face so I can suck his pretty cock? While he sucks mine? How could I possibly complain? Come on then."

Marco moved to help guide Jean into the appropriate position, straddling the older man's face and facing towards his cock. He placed a few small kisses to Jean's thighs as he was finally able to get a good look at the other's ass, spread and exposed. He gave an appreciative murmur as he nuzzled at one thigh and then the other. "Always so damn hot, Jean…" He paused for a moment, leaning up to kiss beside a small scar on the smaller man's upper inner thigh, just a bit towards the back. "Jean… You have the strangest little scar here…" And it was unusual in shape, with a jag, a line, and a curve that together made it look like someone had scribbled an incomplete heart in fine white ink on the teen's leg.

“Fuck… mn…” Jean groaned eagerly after Marco’s words and the teen moved into position with a little help from his boyfriend, his face aflame from the exposed position. He felt somewhat vulnerable like this and yet it just seemed to enhance the moment. “Hah… Mmn.” Jean shivered a bit as Marco nuzzed his thighs and then his his face against the crook of the other man’s hip at the mention of his scar.

“I.. I fell through a tree n got stabbed with a branch when I landed…” He mumbled, what a stupid way to get hurt, he thought and quickly moved his hands. One pressed against the outside of Marco’s hip for support and the other sliding up and over Marco’s lower abdomen before questing fingers wrapped around the base of the other man’s cock in a firm squeeze. “Mn you’re so fuckin’ messy Marco…” Jean said before giving a long, languid lap of tongue against the top side of Marco’s dick. He could taste their mixed cum and the weird flavour of lubricant.

"Hmm… Looks like a little heart." Marco gave a thoughtful little hum at the explanation of the scar. He gasped, giving a half-arch of his hips when Jean moved to wrap a hand around his cock and squeeze. His gasp tumbled back out as a moan moments later at the long lick. "Mmh not my fault I can't resist you."

Marco leaned up, giving a long lick to the underside of Jean's cock in return. His arms wrapped around the younger man's thighs, reaching around to his ass to squeeze and knead at the warm flesh. He flicked his tongue out to swipe farther, across the other's balls.

“S-sure- mnf-uck!” Jean swore and couldn't help pressing his hips down towards Marco’s tongue, then pushing back against the hand son his ass as the other man’s mouth gave Jean’s balls the attention he hadn't even known they’d desperately needed. He moaned again long and low before licking along first one side and then the other of Marco’s cock, cleaning it of the fluids there as the hand that had been pressed against the bed moved to cup Marco’s balls and knead them with a gentle pressure.

“Mn… god I never knew… that I’d love the taste of dick like this…” He groaned, embarrassed despite currently having no filter and he wrapped his lips around the crown of Marco’s erection, suckling on it and pressing the tip of his tongue into the sensitive slit there.

Marco smirked Jean's reaction to the licking at his balls. But any teasing response he might have had was lost to a moan as the other man licked up each side of his cock. Marco struggled to not buck his hips when his balls were cupped and gently squeezed at. "Fuck…"

Jean's words and the way he sucked at the head of Marco's dick made the taller man gasp and moan out again. He breathed out a heavy breath. Deciding to turn the tables, he focused himself on squeezing and spreading Jean's cheeks in a slow kneading motion as he laved his tongue across the teen's balls for a moment with small flicking motions. Slowly, Marco moved upwards across the backside of Jean's balls before flicking his tongue higher still, across the small patch of skin between his balls and the tight ring of his ass.

Jean hummed in approval at Marco’s swearing and pushed his head lower, taking more of the older man into his mouth as the hand at the base of Marco’s cock moved upwards to meet his lips at the middle of the shaft. Jean gave his hand a slight twist before moving it back down again and following it smoothly with his mouth in another magnificent show of how much control he had over his gag reflex.

Of course that was until Marco’s mouth moved further back on him and the teenager jolted and coughed as he pulled up and away from his boyfriend's erection to groan long and loudly. “O-oh fuck… Marco- t-that… feels so weird…. but s-so good- don’t stop!” He wanted to push his hips back against Marco’s face and yet at the same time he had the intense urge to put his hands over his ass because  _ no one  _ had ever been that close to it before, let alone with their fucking mouth. “D-don’t look-” He squeaked out finally, cheek resting on Marco’s hip as his hand began to work the other man’s cock with smooth, firm strokes.

Marco moaned out at how easily Jean seemed to swallow his cock. The teen's gag reflex was fantastic and never failed to surprise him. Marco almost felt bad when he made the other man choke on his cock in surprise from the licking. Almost. His groan was more than worth it. Marco chuckled gently when Jean commented on the weirdness, flicking his tongue across the same patch of skin once more.

"Nuh-uh, baby, you're too hot, I'm  _ gonna _ look. I wanna admire this sexy ass of yours." Marco was forced to interrupt himself with a small moan from the stroking at his length. "Have you… never played with yourself here…?" Slowly, teasingly, he placed a tender kiss to each of Jean's inner thighs before spreading the smaller man's ass with a kneading grip. He leaned in closer, flicking his tongue across the rim teasingly before licking across the tight ring of muscle more slowly and firmly. The idea that he was the first one touching Jean like this flooded his mind in a fog of lust and a small groan escaped him.

Jean groaned again softly and tried to quell his embarrassment by pressing his nose to nuzzle the base of Marco’s cock as he stroked the other man, mouthing at it and scraping his teeth featherlight against the flesh. “Mh.. S’embarrassing though…” He almost whined as Marco asked if he’d ever done anything with that area of his body whilst his hands were kneading. “I- I haven’t y-yuuuhhh fuck Marco!” Jean did his best to answer but before he could finish he was reduced to moans as he felt the teasing flick of a tongue.

“H-hh… w-wait I’m… k-kinda sensitive-!” He moved his hand away from Marco’s balls and grabbed his thigh in a sturdy grip, pushing himself up enough to look over his shoulder with a deep bow to his spine. “I- I really...haven’t so be gentle…” Jean whimpered before biting his lip, god he was getting far too distracted by Marco’s mouth when he should really just be sucking his cock.

With a deep breath of determination Jean turned back around and held the base of his boyfriends cock again, this time wrapping his mouth around the other man and taking him almost completely in, in one fluid motion.

The teeth ghosting against the skin of his cock made Marco lose himself for a moment in a moan. Pausing to listen to the other's words, Marco's heart lept slightly into his throat. Jean hadn't even played with himself. Jean's ass was entirely untouched.  _ Marco _ was the first to touch him here. The idea gave him a strange sort of thrill. But it also made him more determined that the younger man should enjoy himself.  _ Thoroughly _ .

Marco gave a small smile when Jean looked over his shoulder, kissing his thigh again. "Of course I'll be gentle. You'll love it. ...But you can always tell me to stop okay?" He might have said more but the sensation of Jean suddenly dropping his mouth over the older man's cock had the words lost to a guttural moan that sounded vaguely like Jean's name. He huffed out a breath, focusing back on his task, running his fingers across soft skin before giving another squeezing spread.

"So pretty…" He flicked his tongue out across the other man's hole a few times before blowing cool air across it. Marco followed this by laving his tongue against the ring of muscle hotly, back and forth before probing against it slightly. Marco's heart raced both from the attention being paid to his cock and the things he was doing to Jean. He kept his movements slow and progressive, fully aware that anything he did was in entirely uncharted territory for the teen.

Jean hummed in agreement around Marco’s cock at the older man’s comments about stopping if he was uncomfortable. He would have repeated his words from earlier about completely trusting the other man but his mouth was currently full, so instead he started to suck hard and pull back only to plunge back down again as he neared the tip, his nose brushing the curve of Marco’s balls as he went lower down than the first time.

Jean’s face was still flushed from before but now it was positively stinging with heat at Marco’s comment about his ass being pretty, as if  _ his _ ass could be pretty, but it made him feel so good when Marco said things like that and he bobbed his head again, both hands gripping Marco’s thighs and sliding down to press his fingers hard against the sensitive area on the inside of them, just below the other man’s crotch.

Jean could feel his ass twitching in response to the attention and he groaned deeply around Marco’s cock because that was so fucking embarrassing but it felt so  _ fucking _ good. Jean had to pull up and off after a moment though, gasping for breath and panting heavily. “Marco…. p-lease….” It was an almost pathetic whimper and he didn’t even know what he was asking for but whatever it was he desperately needed it, so he rolled his hips slightly, erection dragging along Marco’s collarbones and he hissed out a breath. Jean’s own hands kneading his boyfriends inner thighs as he messily pressed open mouthed kisses and licks and sucks along the throbbing veins on Marco’s cock.

Marco moaned under Jean's ministrations. It was a struggle to focus on his own actions, dizzy with the sensations running through him. He was still in slight awe of the teen's seemingly natural skills with his mouth and hands. But he did the best he could to concentrate, letting the pleasure resonate through him as he focused on working his tongue against the other man's ass.

"F-fuck!" Marco cried out as Jean's groan resonated through him before he pulled back. He trembled at how perfectly the teen whimpered his plea, the sound going right to his dick and making it pulse against Jean's lips as he kissed and sucked at it. Marco gave a small lusty growl. He gripped more firmly at the flesh in his grasp, pressing his tongue into the other man's ass only slightly before drawing back. He flicked his tongue across the rim again lightly before pressing in again, this time deeper and more probative.

“Hnnh- ah..” Jean closed his eyes as Marco pressed his tongue into him the slightest amount. It felt so  _ so _ strange to have that area touched at all let alone licked… let alone to feel the other man’s tongue probing into him in a way that made tingles go up his spine and his toes curl and messy, wordless moans drop from between his lips. Jean again moved one of his hands to grasp Marco’s cock and he started to stroke it with firm, tight motions as he kneaded his boyfriend's thigh.

Too embarrassed and distracted by the tongue exploring his ass to be able to suck Marco off properly Jean started to nip and kiss around the other man’s hip as his hand worked, slightly slick from the saliva but quickly drying so he propped himself up on the elbow of his unmoving arm and opened his mouth. Jean slowed the movements of his hand for a moment as the flat of his tongue lathed the crown of Marco’s erection, letting himself pant and drool around it enough to help lubricated the motions that his hand was making. It was an effort to keep his own hips still, too, as his thighs twitched and trembled almost as much as his previously untouched hole.

Marco shuddered and moaned slightly at the stroking combined with the kneading motions against his thigh, always a particularly sensitive spot for him. He continued the motions of his tongue, keeping Jean's hips still with the firm grip of his hands on the other man's ass. The nipping and kisses forced him to pause to catch his focus, flattening his tongue to lick firmly across the sensitive flesh. The way his boyfriend's hips and thighs trembled around him had Marco all but purring, loving the reactions he could draw out so easily.

Jean's hot breath against his cock as he moved his tongue across the head made Marco's hips buck slightly into the stroking. He stuttered out a low groan. "God… Jean…" The freckled man redoubled his efforts, tongue slipping into the younger man again before thrusting in and out. He started slowly at first but then moved faster, pausing every few motions to flick his tongue across the rim before pressing in again. Marco kneaded at Jean's ass as he tongue-fucked him before one hand downward to brush fingers teasingly against his balls.

Jean couldn’t help but shift his feet against the pillows, hips finally giving in to the urge to buck but they were stopped by the firm grip on them. Jean let out a low whine and dropped his head back down to rest on Marco’s thigh as his hand sped up again on the other man’s dick, squeezing a little harder and with a slight flick of his wrist as he reached the tip before sliding his palm back down the shaft.

“M-marco.. oh  _ fuck _ - _ shit... _ ah- d-don’t stop… please don’t stop!” Jean gasped the words out on heavy, almost sobbing breaths as Marco’s tongue started to practically fuck him. Then he felt the touch to his balls and Jean whimpered, hips jerking slightly despite the hold the other man had on them as his cock twitched and shot a thick string of pre-cum into the slowly growing puddle in the dip between Marco’s pectoral muscles. “P-please...oh god  _ please… Marco..to-touch my dick uh.. I wanna cu-cum soh bad! _ ” Jean  _ was _ sobbing now. Moaning and quivering as his hand worked, the other still gripping Marco’s thigh tightened it’s grip and he was too far gone to worry whether it would leave a bruise.

Marco let out a loud moan when Jean started stroking him faster and with a tighter grip. He was close again, so fucking close between the stroking and the intoxicating sound of Jean's moans and the fact that he was  _ finally _ getting to do at least something with the younger man's ass. He felt the wetness against his chest and groaned, loving what an absolute mess his boyfriend could become.

The desperate sobbing plea from Jean's lips didn't go unanswered. With a low groan, Marco moved his hand to wrap around Jean's cock, other hand still on his ass, keeping him spread as the freckled man continued to tongue-fuck him. There was a slight ache forming in his jaw that he ignored for the moment, instead working his mouth harder to pleasure the other. He paired his movements together, a thrust of his tongue for every firm stroke of his hand, driving Jean closer to his release. The almost crushing grip on his leg made him tremble slightly, cock twitching at the sensation. Idly, he wondered if he'd have a bruise later.

Jean choked out a moan as Marco’s hand finally moved to his dick, the sensation almost overwhelming when it was coupled with the feeling of the tongue on - and in - his ass. He pressed his face against Marco’s thigh as he panted, body jostling slightly from the movement of his own hand and his boyfriends.

It wasn’t that much longer before Jean felt the familiar tenseness of his orgasm quickly approaching. “F-fuck...oh god Marco… gonna cum… ah ...fuck …  _ fuck!! _ ” Jean choked out his warning before he was cumming hard. He couldn’t help biting down on Marco’s thigh as his body shuddered and bucked whilst he soaked the other man’s chest with hot cum, his own hand becoming sporadic and uncoordinated with it’s movement along Marco’s cock. Jean gave one last twitch before sagging against Marco, unclenching his jaw from where he’d unintentionally bitten the other man and whimpering as he licked at the deep teeth marks marring the skin.

Marco shuddered and trembled as he got closer and closer to his climax, breathing as heavy as he could while still continuing his movements, lungs aching. He could feel the tension rising in Jean's body as well, continuing his motions with renewed determination. Marco gave a trembling groan at the sensation of the first hot spurts of cum on his chest and the way the younger man's motions became jerky and irregular. But then Jean went and  _ bit _ him. Hard. And Marco lost it completely.

"Ngh! Jean…  _ Fuck! _ " Marco's head fell back with a sharp moan as his orgasm hit him suddenly from the unexpected harsh stimulation. The licking only drew the experience out, making Marco's voice crack as he was overwhelmed by the sensation. His hips jerked despite his dazed attempts to keep them still as he released. His head spun from cumming hard for a second time in such a short span as he gave a few half-strokes to his boyfriend's cock before slumping boneless to the bed. Trembling slightly, Marco tried to catch his breath, squeezing his eyes shut hard enough to see spots. "Oh… f-fuck…"

Jean moaned again, loudly, as Marco shuddered and came and the teen had to close his eyes as cum shot into his hair and the upper half of his face. Panting heavily Jean whimpered at the feeling and let his hands flop where they were, unable to hold himself up on his knees either, so he ended up collapsing on Marco’s torso as he tried to catch his breath and clear the numbness of his post-orgasm mind.

“Mnh…” After a while Jean managed to get his breathing back on a more normal level although he could feel a slight tightness in his throat and a subtle wheeze on every intake of breath he didn’t mention it, his inhaler was too far away and he was loathe to move so soon after he came. It wasn’t  _ that  _ bad anyway. “Marco..that was...mnh…” However, now that it was over his face flushed again, adding to the one already there that was down to exertion this now blush was because he was still very much spread across Marco’s shoulders and he shakily attempted to move, upper body rolling off of the other man onto the bed, but his legs were currently too weak to lift. Whimpering again, eyes still closed, Jean wiped at his face with the back of a hand in an attempt to get the cum off of his eyes.

Marco let out a little huff when Jean collapsed on top of him, but it wasn't an uncomfortable weight. He let out a breathless but contented laugh at the teen's words and how out of it he obviously was. "Good…" When he saw the other's attempt to move fail, he easily pushed Jean sideways off of him, rolling his boyfriend's smaller frame to be next to him instead of framing his head.

"That was… uhm yeah… very good…" Marco trailed off with another breathless huff. He sat up slowly, giving a small grimace and disturbed noise when the action made cum start to ooze down his chest. Just to make it stop, he wiped at it with the hand that was already slick from being between them and took a few more deep breaths to level himself out before looking over at Jean. He looked from the flush on the younger man's face to the cum speckled in his hair and laughed awkwardly, running the hand that wasn't a mess through his own hair. "You're… you're kind of… a mess. It's in your hair and everything… Sorry." He shifted his legs a bit and bit down a slight shiver at the sting from the bite on his leg, glancing down at it. Marco felt a strange sort of joy over the idea that the mark would definitely stay for several days at least. Unlike the little 'lovemarks' he was used to that lasted a day or two at best and only made him uncomfortable, it was a strange sort of thrill to have  _ Jean's _ bite on his leg.

Furrowing his brow slightly, Marco made a vague gesture in the direction of the door. "You can take a shower here if you want to. Maybe order food and you can while we're waiting? I mean I… don't think you wanna go home later with dried cum in your hair." Sure, he'd just had his tongue in the guy's ass but somehow it still felt weird to offer up his shower. It was an unusual level of familiarity for him.

Jean grunted softly as he was pushed off of Marco and arched his back in a stretch now that he was on his back. “Mnh… even my hair? God Marco.” Jean rolled his now semen free eyes at the other man but then cracked a bashful grin. “Yeah… that would be good… there’s no way I can go out with cum hairgel.” Jean moved to sit up shakily, pulling his knees to his chest out of an sort of shy feeling. Marco may have just been eating his ass but now that the heat of the moment had cooled a bit he was oddly aware of how completely  _ naked _ they both were, for the first time.

“Um… how about since I made cake you pick what we order for dinner?” He paused for a moment to clear his throat with a gentle cough, still ignoring his inhaler. “Plus I always pick so I wanna see what you like…” Jean chewed his lip, he wanted to know more about Marco that no-one else did. At least no one not in his professional of friend group. Not only things like his favourite food or what brand of shampoo he used, but  _ everything _ … Jean felt a little bit weird about that though, usually he couldn’t give a rats ass about things like that but with Marco it felt like he was being a bit of a creeper.

"I know, I know, I've thoroughly made a mess of you." Marco sighed with a deliberate overdramatic emphasis, a grin playing at the edges of his lips. He saw how Jean curled in on himself and a small furrow passed across his brow for a moment. Unconsciously, his hands moved to his own lap, not wanting the teen to be uncomfortable.

Marco gave a small smile. He didn't usually like to pick; Jean was a guest in his house and it was obvious he didn't have much to choose from at home so the older man only thought it fair to let him pick. But the teen seemed almost shy about even asking, so he only nodded, grinning a bit wider. "Well, there's not much I won't eat but… Yeah, I guess that's fair. There's spare towels in the cabinet in there and everything. But Jean, before you do that?" He paused for a moment to steal a small kiss, a mischievous glint in his gaze.

"Please make sure you grab your inhaler. You sound like you breathed in glass." His words couldn't hold any bite with the way he grinned around them before sticking out his tongue. Hopping off the bed quickly, he stooped to slip his boxers back on and retrieve his forgotten phone from his pants, debating what to order.

Jean didn’t miss the way Marco covered himself all of a sudden but he didn’t comment on it, if he was truthful he thought it was a shame - after all who didn’t like to perv on their hot boyfriend? But at the same time he supposed he couldn’t argue since he’d covered himself too. “Ok… huh?” Jean interjected as Marco commended on his eating habits but lapsed into silence as the other man kissed him and then added the comment about his inhaler.

“I… I know… it’s not that bad geeze!” He blushed hard and butt shuffled across to the edge of the bed, scooping up his underwear and pulling it on as he stood because even if it meant getting it dirty, and even if he was about to shower he couldn’t face strolling around Marco’s apartment butt naked. After he was done Jean ducked out of the bedroom, posture stiff and awkward as he went to pull his inhaler from his backpack and take it, only one puff this time though. He walked back through the hall and stopped Marco on the way, leaning up to press a lingering kiss on the other man's lips. “Pick for me too? Anything… except something really spicy because I’ll die. I’m ok with wasabi but other stuff is too much.” He almost felt like a kid saying that, but it was better than having to suffer through eating spicy food just so Marco didn’t get disappointed.

Jean pecked Marco on the lips again before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door, though he didn't lock it.

Marco snorted out a laugh at Jean's indignant response, grinning wider. He wondered if he was a bit too entertained by making the teen blush but when it was just so easy he couldn't resist. He said nothing when Jean dressed himself even though he'd only have to undress again in a few minutes; it was understandable with his level of shyness. The older of the two, on the other hand, pulled his pants on but opted to skip his shirt until he could wipe his chest off.

He was surprised when Jean stopped him but leaned into the kiss with a small sigh regardless. It was one sign at least that the smaller man was getting more comfortable with and around him and it made Marco's heart flutter the smallest amount. He chuckled at the comment about spicy foods, biting down another teasing remark and opting for a small nod instead, humming at the small peck before Jean walked off.


	10. Ticklish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco orders far too much food for dinner but tossing on a movie proves to be a very good excuse for cuddling and sappy talking.

Marco wandered into the kitchen and flipped through the takeout menus, wondering if italian would be too cliché. Reasoning that Jean seemed to like cheesy and cliché--the cake no small evidence of that--he dialed in the number and placed an order for a few different kinds of pasta as well as chicken marsala and eggplant parmesan, not entirely sure what Jean would like. Sure he'd been given the vague description of 'anything' but he still wanted to make sure he had his bases covered. Hanging up the phone, he set about wiping down his chest with some wet paper towels before going to sit down. He resisted--however barely--the urge to slip into the bathroom, deciding it was best to afford the other his privacy--at least this time.

Once the bathroom door was closed firmly behind him Jean allowed himself to sag against it and put his hands over his face, letting out a small excited sort of noise that he couldn’t contain. He couldn’t believe it still, not just that Marco was… well… Marco but more that he actually had a boyfriend, he was in a relationship, the fact that Marco was hot as fuck was an amazing bonus and the fact that Marco was  _ Idol Marco Bodt _ was just a fucking miracle. Jean but his lip as the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smile and he walked over to the shower, pulling off the briefs he’d put on and stepping into it.

He took a long moment trying to figure out how to work it, but once he had the water sprayed down on him in freezing cold torrents and he yelped as he stepped back and waited for it to warm up, pouting at the noise he’d made and hoping Marco hadn’t heard. Jean washed his body with Marco’s shower gel and scrubbed the other man’s shampoo through his cum soiled hair with a sense of contentment at the scent. As he washed he started to hum and then soon started to sing softly, closing his eyes and tilting his head back into the spray - though avoided letting it fall on his face - as the words spilled from his mouth.

One song and a thorough wash later Jean slipped out of the bathroom with a towel around his hips and one slung over his head as he scrubbed at his hair. Jean padded into the lounge to put the dirty briefs in his hand into his backpack.

Marco heard a small noise right as he was sitting down and went quiet but nothing followed it and he simply shrugged it off. At least, he shrugged it off until he heard more noise. Was that… singing? His apartment was for the most part soundproof to the surrounding apartments, but the other hand of that was that sounds tended to resonate and echo  _ inside _ the apartment and even between rooms.

Standing, Marco moved quietly but quickly over to the bathroom door, all but lurking outside of it to listen. Jean was singing in his shower. He couldn't help listening in, biting down the absurd laugh that threatened to bubble out of his throat. The guy had nearly had a panic attack over Marco finding out about his singing and now he was singing in his shower. But he sounded even better in person, even with the distortion of the shower and bathroom, and the older man made a decision then that he'd have to get Jean some better equipment at some point to record with and really capture his voice properly.

When the water shut off, Marco jumped, all but scrambling away to sit down as casually as he could--as if he hadn't just been listening in on the teen's shower like a total weirdo. He was trying to school his face into as innocent of an expression as possible when Jean walked into the room. Marco's eyes went wide, openly gawking at his very wet, barely covered boyfriend.

Jean dropped the towel on his head to rest around his neck as he carefully bent and put his briefs in his backpack, eyeing Marco for a moment before turning red and averting his gaze. “Ah...s-sorry I’ll go put my clothes back on… I just wanted to put my underwear in my bag now before I forget.” The thought of forgetting his cum covered underwear and Marco discovering them in his bathroom after Jean had gone was near mortifying to the teen.

Jean was completely oblivious to the fact Marco had listened in on him singing and he stood up again with a bashful smile, holding the towel at his waist with one hand so it didn’t fall off as he felt it slipping. “D-don’t stare too long like that, your face will get stuck.” He said almost awkwardly with his embarrassment before turning and going back to the bedroom to dry properly and put his clothes back on.

"N-no, it's fine. I just…" Marco looked the other man up and down once more. He swallowed hard as he felt a slight blush tinting his own cheeks when he saw the towel slip down a bit farther. He pushed a smirk onto his face, somewhat shakily. "Yeah well… Can't really fault me for staring at the hot wet guy in my apartment, right?"

He let out a small huff when Jean left the room, debating on following. He stood after a moment, moving to hover in the bedroom doorway. Marco was silent for a moment, not sure if he should say anything. "...You uhm… okay…  _ don't _ get weird about it again or anything but… you sounded really nice. Your singing. I just thought you should know that." He paused only a moment before adding onto his sentence in a rush. "...Okay I'm gonna go get plates and stuff. Food should be here any minute. Okay? Okay. Right." Somehow paper plates and plastic forks just didn't seem good enough. And with that he disappeared for the kitchen, heart racing inexplicably as he fumbled to grab down plates and get out utensils.

Jean dropped the towel and stepped into his cargo pants, pulling them up as he felt Marco’s eyes on him from the doorway. Jean was still lightly blushing under the scrutiny as he buttoned them and zipped the fly being careful not to catch himself in it because no underwear + zip could end in disaster if you rushed.

Jean was bent at the waist, picking up his shirt when Marco commended on his singing and he felt the light blush that had been on his features explode into a bright red glow that extended to his ears and down his neck, even his collar bones seemed a light shade of pink with it. However, despite his internal screaming he didn’t want to freak out like a kid again so he just fumbled with his shirt for a moment, trying to put his arms in the sleeves without looking like an idiot. “I… I… .euh…” Well, that was eloquent.

Then Marco was gone again and Jean fell into a squat and covered his face with his hands because he’d  _ thought _ Marco wouldn’t be able to hear it through the water noise and the closed door and y'know… walls. Jean stayed in there for another few minutes as he tried to calm himself down, finally walking back into the lounge with his shirt still undone and his gaze at his feet. “T-thanks…" Jean said as he rubbed the back of his neck with a hand.

Marco had already allowed himself a moment to panic quietly when he nearly dropped the forks--twice--before giving up. Eyes flicking between his miscellaneous-crap drawer and the cabinet where he kept his alcohol, he decided on the 'responsible' option. A few muttered curses escaped him as he struggled first with rummaging through the drawer and then with a child-safety cap--who needed a child safety cap if they didn't have kids?--before finally managing to get one of the pills out and shove the bottle back into the drawer.

He froze for a moment at realizing three issues: 1, his drink was still out on the coffee table, 2, it would look strange if he brought out another, 3, he certainly wasn't taking it in front of Jean of all people--or anyone really. Letting out a long, slow if shaky breath, he picked up the plates, cutlery, and some spare napkins. Marco cheeked the pill with a small grimace at the bitter taste before heading towards the couch. Not ready to try speaking in response to Jean's comment, he gave a small smile and a nod, trying to look casual and collected as he set down the things in his hands before taking a drink of his soda from earlier, swiping the small pill out of his cheek and swallowing it. The next challenge would be not visibly freaking during the time it took for the damn thing to work. Marco focused on his breathing, letting the open stretch of the other's skin and his obviously awkward and embarrassed posture distract him from the erratic pace of his heart. "Didn't I say to  _ not _ get weird about it?" He tried to give a light-hearted laugh.

The sound of the door had Marco nearly leaping out of his skin on the spot with a small squawk. He really  _ really _ hoped Jean just chalked it up to him being startled out of staring which, while embarrassing, was less so than the truth. Cheeks red, he turned to grab his wallet and head for the door. Marco fumbled to pay the delivery guy and take the food, realizing belatedly and with another spike of panic that the number of things he got seemed a bit absurd. But it was done and he turned back for the couch with two overstuffed bags of metal tins, setting them down on the coffee table before sitting down, forcing a relaxed posture, hopefully convincingly.

Jean watched Marco sit down and have a drink, suddenly aware of how thirsty he was as well so he walked to the table and got his own Dr Pepper, swallowing some of it down with a grimace at how flat it had gone though luckily not completely. When Marco jolted at the sound of the door Jean quirked a brow and sat on the couch thoughtfully, the other man seemed ….  _ off _ somehow but he couldn’t place why.

When Marco came back in with the bags Jean balked and let a small laugh bubble forth. “Jesus, Marco how much food?” His quiet laugh turned into a sort of amused but very fond smile because when Marco say he seemed sort of like he had a stick up his ass but was pretending he didn’t. Jean would have commented on it if Marco wasn’t trying to hard, it was just… different from the way Marco usually was. Jean felt like a creeper again for watching his boyfriend so closely when they were together to even  _ notice _ the change.

Clearing his throat Jean leaned over to peer into one of the bags, he almost blushed again at the obvious italian logo, his heart fluttering a bit. He pulled out the containers of food and placed them on the table around their places with an almost overwhelmed look on his features, although in truth he had worked up quite an appetite with their bedroom activities and he’d been too nervous all day to eat yet.

"I uhm… didn't know what you'd like? 'Anything' is a really big category, okay." Marco scratched awkwardly at the side of his nose with an embarrassed laugh. He tried to bite down the blush on his cheeks when Jean started unpacking the bags while looking overwhelmed. "I uhm… you don't have to feel like you have to have a lot or anything--or you can, that's okay too!--I just mean uhm… leftovers are okay--If there are any and if not that's okay--And I… I'm going to be quiet now."

Marco huffed, deflating into himself slightly and running a hand through his hair. He wasn't entirely sure why he was panicking so badly but it was probably some combination of the idea of a valentine's meal combined with slightly wondering if their earlier activities crossed a line--where did intercrural and rimming fall on the 'actual sex vs not actual sex' scale again?--and the stress of the previous week. His eyes flicked to Jean's wrists as he reached out and Marco cringed slightly at how obvious the marks on them were. Forcing the thought away, Marco moved to start opening some of the containers and dish up a small assortment of various pastas for himself with some chicken parm.

Jean blinked and stopped what he was doing to look at Marco as the other man spoke, the way he was fumbling over his words and correcting himself made Jean start to feel anxious and self-conscious. Had he done something wrong? He thought back trying to remember if he’d done anything weird or inappropriate and he couldn’t think of anything as his heart sort of fluttered in his chest in a way that was less ‘aww butterflies’ and more ‘My heart might be having a seizure’.

“I-I… it’s ok! I-I’m really hungry! My bad for not telling you what I wanted.” His voice sounded odd to his own ears and he rubbed the back of his neck and glanced sideways, seeing his glasses still resting on the arm of the sofa he reached out and put them on whilst Marco dished up some food. After licking his lips which suddenly seemed too dry he opened another container or two and put some on his own plate. It was stupid of him to feel weird all of a sudden and he got irritated with himself, he didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere they’d had going until now with this so Jean put his cutlery down after taking a bite of his food and swallowing it.

“Marco.” he said, turning to face the man and waiting for the man to look at him before Jean grabbed Marco’s face in both hands and pressed a hard kiss to his lips, closing his eyes and lingering there. He pulled away just slightly, opening his eyes to stare into Marco’s. “I L-... mn… I like you…” Jean said as he stroked Marco’s cheeks with his thumbs, feeling a little better himself but pressing another sure kiss to the other man’s mouth before pulling away completely. “S-so whatever it is… it’s ok.”  _ I hope…  _

Marco was just about to start eating when Jean said his name so seriously, turning to look at him reflexively. The hands on his face and sudden forceful kiss made him let out a surprised noise, eyes wide for a moment before melting with a small sigh. The way Jean had started on the 'L' part of his word twice didn't escape his anxiously-alert mind, his heart deciding that was an opportune moment to start hammering in his throat rather than his chest. It seemed like the other man had almost picked a  _ very _ different word and Marco wasn't sure if that was thrilling or terrifying at the moment.

The gentle brush of Jean's fingers against his cheeks and the kiss that followed it before he pulled away made the freckled man smile, at least, thoughts silencing themselves for a moment. But the teen's continued words made him blink, brow furrowing. Okay? What was okay? What was--

"Oh!" Marco gasped, realizing Jean must have thought he was responsible for the jittery and weird behaviour. He all but flailed over himself, plate in his lap in danger of tipping a few times. "Oh no, god no it's got nothing to do with you. I mean… It's not you. I'm just having a weird moment. It'll be fixed--better! Better soon. I'm sorry. I'm… you think this is… no, no, nothing's not okay. That is… everything's okay. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's okay. Everything's fine. I'm just weird. Having a weird moment. You're fine, we're fine, that's all okay. I'll be fine in like ten minutes. Sorry. Just bad timing. It'll go away. I promise." Marco gave an embarrassed laugh, hoping Jean didn't make the connection between a timeline and  _ medicine _ of all things. He distracted himself by picking up his fork and starting in on his food instead.

Jean jumped a bit when Marco exclaimed ‘oh’ and almost dropped his fork. The over-exaggerated reply only made Jean think there was something wrong even  _ more _ but he didn’t comment on it any further because he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. If Marco said he’d be fine then… then he’d be fine but Jean still couldn’t help his own anxiety gnawing at him and feeding off of it.

“Mnh, ok.” He smiled a little strained and started to eat again, an appreciative noise escaping him as he focused on his meal and not on his brain. Jean hadn’t lied when he’d said he was hungry, he ate more than even he thought he could and ended up feeling full and drowsy and overall satisfied, his unease dissipated by the end of the meal.

Jean leaned back against the couch cushions after drinking the last of his Dr Pepper and sighed, hands on his bare stomach where his shirt was still undone and hanging open. He looked down at himself and blushed slightly at the little pooch making his belly curve outwards for once instead of outlining the bottom of his ribs, bloated from the amount of food and fizzy drink and he quickly pulled his shirt closed in embarrassment. “That was so good Marco.” He sighed happily.

Able to focus on eating and with the added effect of his medicine kicking in, Marco relaxed as they ate, relieved as the atmosphere became more comfortable and familiar again. He was surprised by how much the teen could eat compared to his own large-but-exercise-justified appetite but was also glad for it giving some sort of validation to his overbuying, if only slightly. He was still going to be eating pasta for a week.

Setting down his plate, Marco slumped back on the couch as well, turning a bit sideways to look at Jean in time to see how he tugged his shirt closed. He quirked a brow at the odd action with a small lurch of his gut but bit his tongue. They were both entitled to be weird about things, after all, right? He smiled a lazy smile instead, leaning an arm on the back of the couch and propping his head up on his hand. "Mmh… Yeah, it was." Marco tossed a quick glance at the clock before speaking again. They still had time. "You want to… I dunno… find some movie to make fun of or something?" It was a cheesy idea but he figured a cheesy idea was just what was appropriate.

When Marco leaned back with his arm on the top of the couch Jean looked over at him and smiled, hands dropping to his lap now that the shirt was resting closed on his torso - though not buttoned. “Mn, that sounds good.” Jean wiggled his toes briefly as if in thought and then added. “N-nothing gross and romance related though...kay? I mean I know it’s valentine's day and I’m smitten with you but I don’t wanna see other couples being all sappy.”

After he had finished Jean realised what he’d said and his face went red again - he really had to get over this fucking blushing all the time around Marco thing, who even used the word smitten these days anyway? Let alone admit it so blatantly when you’d only been dating a few weeks… right? Jean looked awkwardly to his lap and fiddled with the seam on one of the pockets on his thighs. “U-uh… I mean… yeah. Anything’s good but that”

Marco snorted out a laugh at the comment about 'gross and romance' movies. His cheeks tinted a light pink when the word 'smitten' registered in his mind, heart doing an absurd little flip, but he chose to wait to comment on it. He knew Jean liked him, heard the earlier almost-slip, but it still sent a rush through him to hear him say something so  _ blatant _ on the topic. "Right then. No ' _ gross _ ' sappy stuff for the teenage boy. Got it. Shmoop must be kept to a minimum. So… action then? Guts and violence, possibly with a terrible plot with lots of holes to poke at?" His words were teasing and light, tongue poking out.

The older of the two turned and reached out to grab the remote, pulling up his pay-per-view menu. "Okay so just lemme know if you see something then." He started flicking through it slowly, looking for something to suggest as well. As he scrolled, he gnawed at his lip, staying silent for a few moments before he just  _ couldn't _ . "So… smitten huh? Not just 'you like me' but 'you're smitten with me' now?" His tone when he spoke wasn't mocking the word but if anything was distinctly  _ shy _ . He was used to spontaneous love confessions that meant nothing to him but this wasn't spontaneous, this was  _ Jean _ and when it came to how the younger man felt about him, it  _ mattered _ .

Jean returned the tongue poking out gesture at Marco and brushed a hand through his still damp hair, that was the trouble when you just bleached the colour out of it - it took longer than usual to dry completely. Jean watched the titles of the movies as Marco scrolled through them thoughtfully, he didn’t really know what sort of thing he wanted to watch but when the other man spoke his attention was drawn away from the TV anyway.

“Hih-!” Jean felt all consuming embarrassment as Marco bought up the teens word choice and he covered his face with his hands. The almost  _ shy _ tone of the other man’s voice didn’t help any and Jean just sort of nodded his head as he tried to compose himself. “M-Mnh… Go-got a problem with that?” He said in a very obviously joking tone as he spread his fingers and peered through them at Marco, Jean’s leg all but vibrating with an up down movement as he jiggled it.

Marco stifled a laugh when the teen hid his face in his hands, doing his best to act as if the blush on his own cheeks hadn't doubled in intensity at the all-but-admission. Jean  _ really _ liked him. And he… really liked Jean too. A lot. And it was reciprocal. Marco couldn't help the way he burst into a wide grin. He reached out, cupping his hand against Jean's where it covered his face. "Mm… Not in the slightest."

Pausing for a moment, Marco gently tugged Jean's hand away from his face. "Besides… maybe I'm a bit smitten with you too." He leaned down and kissed the back of Jean's hand once before dropping it and sitting up again. Sitting back against the couch, Marco couldn't get the absurd grin off his face. He bit his lip to try to suppress it without much success as he continued flipping through the movie selections.

Jean watched Marco as the other man came closer and put his hands over the teens, he let them be pulled away from his face and then Marco said he was smitten  _ as well _ and Jean thought he would die with how much his chest felt like it could burst with that. Marco was usually so composed - at least in comparison to Jean - and sometimes he got so caught up in ‘what if I like him  _ way _ more than he would ever like me’ moments. But right now he could see the way Marco was looking at him as he said those words and Marco was  _ blushing _ too and Jean wanted to melt.

He watched the other man’s mouth as he was kissed on the hand, wishing so much for that to have been his mouth and then Marco sat back and started to flip through the channels like he hadn’t just teased Jean by being so close and not kissing the youth. With a soft growl Jean moved to kneel with one knee on the couch and the other leg with it’s foot against the floor as he grabbed Marco’s cheeks and turned his head - quickly but gently - toward him. then the teen leaned in and pressed his lips against Marco’s in a heated kiss, sighing out a soft groan as he moved his lips in a gentle massage before pulling away again. “Don’t say that sort of thing with  _ that _ look on your face and then not kiss me, ever again. I forbid it.” He said before kissing Marco again.

Marco raised a brow momentarily when Jean growled and moved up onto one knee before gasping as his head was suddenly turned. Shuddering and melting easily into the passion behind the kiss, the freckled man had to stop himself from a small whimper when the other pulled away. The way Jean said those words made Marco tremble slightly, a groan escaping at the second kiss.

Reaching out, he moved his hands to Jean's hips. In one movement, Marco tugged the teen into his lap so that Jean had no choice but to be straddling him. "Ooh… I like it when you get all assertive like that… Issuing your demands." A light smirk played across his features as he leaned in to lick the tip of Jean's nose before his features became more genuine again. "I do really like you a lot though."

Jean loved the way Marco groaned in response to his actions, his own voice came out in a slight yelp, though, when he was moved so very easily into the other man’s lap. Jean probably would have started to get hard again purely from that action if he hadn’t cum twice already, there was just something so  _ hot _ about being manhandled and Marco did it so  _ easily _ because of the difference in their weight and muscle strength.

“Mmm…” Jean put his hands on Marco’s shoulders, gripping the other man there as his nose was licked and he told Jean he liked him a lot. “Yeah… yeah me too… I dunno what I’d do if you didn’t.” He admitted before ducking his head and snatching another kiss, lingering and working his lips slowly, in a way that made him sigh and tangle a hand in Marco's hair as he licked gently at Marco’s lips.

Marco grinned internally at the yelp. It never failed to entertain him how easily he could get those startled reactions out of the smaller man. Still, their difference in size did make him worry sometimes about having to keep himself in check. He didn't think he could handle it if he actually  _ hurt _ the teen at all. The idea of Jean feeling at all betrayed or wronged by him was just too much to think about. The redness at his wrists made him feel guilty enough. Although… Jean hadn't seemed to mind…

Distracted from his thoughts by the kiss, Marco groaned softly as he matched the movements. He tugged Jean a bit closer at the fingers in his hair, tongue darting out to lick at the teen's lips in return. He tipped his head slightly, tilting into the kiss as he moved to deepen it. He kept his movements slow and tender as he squeezed Jean's sides lightly.

Jean almost  _ purred _ as March started to kiss him back, arching easily into the others tug to get closer and Jean gave a soft moan of contentment and approval as Marco licked at his lips. Jean tilted his head in kind when Marco did, easily opening up for the deeper kiss and returning it with vigour, his hand still in Marco’s hair raked through the strands to the back of the other man's neck.

And then Marco squeezed Jean’s sides and he jolted and pulled away with a sqwark, back straightening out and his thighs tensing at Marco’s hips because he was so fucking  _ ticklish _ sometimes damnit and Marco just  _ had  _ to squeeze him there like that. He didn’t know whether it was worse that it was from such a light action or that he’d broken the kiss because he’d been enjoying that so much. Jean grabbed Marco’s hands and gingerly moved them away from his sides, placing them instead on his ass and biting his lip before leaning back in because he was  _ so _ going to pretend that didn’t just happen.

Marco shuddered with another groan into the kiss when Jean ran his fingers through his hair, absolutely loving it. His eyes went wide when Jean suddenly jolted and yelped, blinking owlishly. He let his hands be guided to the other man's ass, giving a small appreciative squeeze. But he couldn't let that reaction go. Jean was ticklish, he'd figured that much already. What he didn't realize was that the teen was  _ that _ ticklish.

Giving another squeeze to Jean's ass, he debated whether he should probe at it more. On the one hand, he was enjoying that kiss. But on the other hand… could he really pass up this chance? He closed the gap between them for a small kiss before murmuring against the smaller man's lips. "I'm sorry but… I have to." Smirking wickedly, he drifted his hands back up to Jean's sides quickly, giving another squeeze before wiggling his fingers slightly.

Jean pressed back into the squeeze on his ass, that was better. When Marco leaned in for another kiss he thought that was the end of it, started to kiss back and close his eyes and then… then Marco said words that made Jean furrow his brow in confusion for the split second it took for the other man’s hands to move and grab him again. Jean choked slightly on his breath and went rigid again, holding in the noise that almost escaped until Marco started to  _ wiggle his fucking fingers _ !

The teen made a high pitched sort of dying giraffe noise, blushed at it then grabbed at Marco’s wrists, writhing against the hands tickling him. “WUh- AH… Wh-wait! Nooooo! MaRCo!” He made another whining noise mingled with laughter, scrunching his eyes shut as he twitched and gasped for air around his  _ giggles _ . Oh god he would die of embarrassment at that noise.

Marco laughed at the alarmed expression on Jean's face and the  _ noise _ that he made. The smaller man's efforts to stop him did nothing as he continued his onslaught of tickling, managing to keep him close as he did. His hands moved easily up and down the teen's sides for a few moments. Marco found himself thinking how  _ adorable _ Jean's giggle was.

Not wanting to give the other man  _ too _ much trouble breathing and set off an asthma attack, Marco stopped abruptly. He moved to cling Jean against him, laughing warmly and nuzzling at him. "Oh god, you're so  _ cute _ . It's not fair."

Jean writhed more until Marco finally and abruptly stopped. The youth let Marco hold him as he tried to catch his breath, face red and tears in his eyes from laughing as hard as he did, it was an odd feeling, whilst Jean had been  _ happy _ since meeting Marco he hadn’t laughed like that yet. Sighing he wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders tightly and nuzzled his face against him, Jean felt the urge to say ‘I love you’ in a weird and sappy moment of weakness but he grit his teeth around the words. Not yet.

“M’not cute… I sounded like a dying animal.” He couldn’t help the pout on his features and in his voice as he spoke. Nuzzling Marco’s neck again before pressing a soft kiss there and sitting up again. “Wanna actually watch a movie now?” Jean said with a quirk of his lips. “Put Maze Runner on it looked good.” He turned around in Marco’s lap and then just sort of sat there, leaning back against the other man’s chest and pulling one of Marco’s arms across his stomach in a sort of half hug position, feet not quite touching the floor.

Marco smiled gently at the nuzzling, a small shiver running up his spine at the kiss. It was nice. Familiar. Comfortable.  _ They _ were comfortable. A contented noise escaped him before he started chuckling at the 'dying animal' comment. "I dunno. I think you sounded absolutely adorable. But I might be just a little bit biased." Maybe more than a little, if his quickly escalating feelings were any indication. He wasn't entirely sure  _ what _ he felt for Jean at that moment, but he knew it was more than just a vague 'something'. It was a big something, an important something, but something he couldn't make himself comfortable naming yet.

A small surprised noise escaped from his mouth when Jean just sat in his lap with no warning. He had  _ definitely _ not been expecting that to happen. Marco let Jean wrap his arm around him anyway, laughing slightly and glad the younger man couldn't see the bright blush that had bloomed on his face from his angle as he buried his face in the back of Jean's shoulder for a moment. Jean was sitting on his lap with Marco's arm around him and they were going to watch a movie. It was disgustingly cheesy; it was horribly cliché; and Marco couldn't have been happier. Gathering himself after a few silent seconds, Marco clicked through the menus to pull up the movie and make it play before wrapping his other arm around the teen as well, leaving a soft kiss against his shoulder as he adjusted slightly to make himself more comfortable, the opening of the movie starting. "Mmh… So am I a comfy seat?"

Jean sighed comfortably at the position they were in, the concern that he was an uncomfortable weight in Marco’s lap was clawing at the back of his mind but he  _ wanted _ to be here on the other man’s lap. He craved the closeness of it and as Marco pressed his face to Jean’s shoulder the teen thought that Marco mustn’t have minded the position too much since he wasn’t being moved.

“Mnh.” Jean made a soft noise as Marco started the movie and wrapped his other arm around Jean’s stomach, resting his head back against Marco’s shoulder and turning his head to nuzzle the side of his jaw for a moment. His attention was back on the TV when Marco asked his question and Jean smiled and wrapped his own arms over the other man’s, hands squeezing Marco’s forearms slightly. “Mn, yeah you are. Warm and nice and  _ mine _ .”

Rolling his eyes, Marco gave a small chuckle at the comment. "Glad to hear it." He squeezed his arms a bit tighter around the teen's smaller frame for a moment. "You're kind of sappy. You know that?" His words were warm and fond but he couldn't resist being a bit teasing.

Marco sighed slightly, adjusting a bit more before settling in. He wasn't entirely sure how much of the movie he could pay attention to. The warm, if slightly boney, weight of Jean in his lap was a significant distraction. He caught himself pressing small, idle kisses to the back of the other man's shoulders several times. And then there was the fact that Jean smelled like him too now since his shower. He felt an odd surge of possessiveness. It was… right in a way.

By halfway through the movie, he found himself focusing equally on the plot of the movie as on the curve of Jean's neck into his shoulder and the feel of their bodies pressed together. He tried to memorize the details, taking advantage of the fact that Jean wasn't facing him to notice his staring and trying to make enough relevant comments about the movie that his distraction wouldn't be obvious. By the time the movie ended, Marco sighed internally as he came to the--likely belated--realization that he was actually genuinely falling for the younger man. Which was both thrilling and terrifying to say the least.

“Maybe I am b-but only for you.” Jean bit his lip before turning to poke his tongue out at Marco, then he settled back again. Jean focused on the movie as much as he was able to with Marco pressed to his back and the other man’s kissed to his shoulders and neck. every so often he couldn’t stop himself from groaning softly, and as the movie went on he was equal parts sleepy and aroused - because damn Marco’s mouth felt so good and he was sensitive and just.. _ Marco _ . But by the time the movie finished Jean was almost asleep, his eyes closed and his body relaxed enough that one of his arms had fallen from it’s place on Marco’s.

“Mn… was good…” Jean mumbled sleepily as he heard the ending credits start. “Y’remind me of Minho… You’re hot as fuck n sassy… Mn… way hotter than him though.” Jean turned slightly in Marco’s lap, feet coming to rest on the sofa as he nuzzled against the other man’s neck with a soft murmur of a purr as he kissed it with chaste but lingering movements.

Marco chose to not comment on the way Jean had slowly started to slump against him, letting him rest if he needed to. He couldn't really fault the teen for being tired, not when Marco himself was exhausted. He just seemed to be a bit better at pushing through it than Jean was, if the sleepy murmur in his tone when he said he liked the movie was any indication.

A laugh escaped the freckled man at the comment about Minho. "Mh… y'think so? Well, that's good then. Wouldn't want to lose your affections to some movie star. It's the freckles, isn't it? I always knew they were my secret weapon." His tone was light and teasing but turned a bit breathy at the kisses against his neck, breath hitching slightly. They were chaste but their lingering pressure made a tremor roll down his spine as he squeezed Jean's waist slightly in response with a long airy sigh.

“Mn… your freckles are so cute…” Jean murmured. “N hot… n your body is better…. n your dick is amazing…” He started to kiss open mouthed then, sucking gently but not enough to leave any marks and every so often scraping his teeth over the flesh. His movements were languid and sleepy as were his words, but Jean still wrapped his arms around Marco’s waist, shoving his hands between the couch cushions and Marco’s back.

“Mn..love yo-your hugs.” He stumbled over his words, waking up a bit more at the slip and feeling his face burn. Jean hoped Marco really  _ really _ didn’t react or even get the implication of that because he felt like he’d ruin everything by admitting feelings like that so soon. The thought of messing this up often made Jean anxious and unable to sleep when they were apart.

Marco let his head fall back at the suckling kisses against his neck, gasping slightly each time he felt the brush of teeth. Small, pleased noises slipped from him easily as he tugged Jean closer, letting his hands move but staying careful of the ticklish spots on the teen's sides. He would have been content to stay like that, basking in the affection.

His breath hitched at the way the word  _ love _ sounded off Jean's lips and he froze for a moment. The teen had been noticeably careful to not use the word in any context about anything to do with Marco before; it was one thing he'd noticed. But it sounded so  _ nice _ and it sent the older of the two into an internal happy spin. Forcing himself through the moment of surprise, Marco squeezed his boyfriend tighter for a moment before tugging him into a proper hug. "Mnh… so these then?" He planted a series of small and soft kisses wherever he could reach before giving another squeeze of his arms as he nuzzled the other man.

Jean almost groaned at the way Marco was making those small, pleased noises and he didn’t miss the way the older man froze when Jean used the word love. But then Marco was hugging him and squeezing him and Jean  _ did _ groan then and he squeezed back with a happy sigh. “Mn, yeah these. So much.” Jean twisted for a moment, breaking the tightness of the embrace only long enough to resume his straddling position from before the film before wrapping his arms around Marco’s shoulders and squeezing the older man into a tight hug again.

“I still can’t believe it… I… I thought I was getting way too attached when we were still meeting at the club. T-the more we met and snapped the more I wanted to see you… I felt like.. like a real nympho b-but… now it’s obvious I liked so much more.” His face was burning and hot by the time he’d finished speaking and Jean pressed it to the side of Marco’s neck to hide his expression. It wasn’t quite a love confession but it sure seemed  _ heavy _ and Jean hoped to god it didn’t freak Marco out.

A surprised noise left Marco's throat when Jean changed positions, worried for a moment that he might have been getting up. But then Jean was straddling his lap again and wrapping his arms around him again and the older of the two shamelessly melted for a moment at the hug before returning it just as tight. It felt good to have the teen close like this.

Marco felt heat rising on his cheeks as Jean spoke, heart racing slightly. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to something like that. It was  _ big _ but he also knew what the younger man meant and just how  _ huge _ it was for him to be admitting this to Marco. He gave a small chuckle. "Well you  _ are _ a little bit of a nympho but that's besides the point… But I…" Marco sighed. "I know what you mean. I… that night you didn't show up I… I just went home when you didn't show. I was so worried you'd gotten sick of me or something. The… the whole time I didn't hear from you, I didn't know if I was pissed or scared because I just… I looked forward to hearing from you and seeing you… Hell, I didn't even  _ have _ you but I didn't… wanna lose you either. I  _ still don't _ wanna lose you. I like you too much for that…" Feeling his words had gotten far too serious and heavy, he forced a laugh, giving Jean's waist a squeeze. "...But hey, on the bright side it shocked me into getting up the balls to ask to meet you in person, right? So it wasn't all bad. We're here, after all."

Jean nuzzled into Marco’s neck more when the man chuckled and said he  _ was _ somewhat of a nympho, he guessed he couldn’t really argue but it was probably hormones right? Like.. he wanted to bone Marco so  _ so _ badly, or be boned either way was good, and he got hard so often around the other man - even just  _ thinking  _ of him got Jean going...but… that would get a bit better with his age, right? Not that Jean really thought it was a bad thing but Marco might get tired of it.

Then Marco continued to speak and Jean felt his heart flutter and his stomach twist and he just felt so  _ hot _ inside. Not the sexy sort of hot either, just this inexplicable feeling of overwhelming happiness and contentment because Marco felt the same and  _ oh god _ did Jean still feel awful about that time. He cleared his throat - still refusing to lift his head from its hiding place - and started to speak in a hushed tone, hoping it didn’t make Marco weird again since most mentions that reminded the man of Jean’s age made Marco tense and a little weird.

“I.. That time I was, uhm.. well… you know my mum found my ID and clothes...uh, so she cut them up and threw them away and I was so dead. I didn’t have my phone either she took that off me… t-thats why I didn’t go or respond. I’m so sorry…” Jean licked his lips which suddenly felt very dry, his tongue catching the skin of Marco’s neck as he did it. “But I’m glad it ended up like this.  _ So  _ glad…”

Marco trembled at the accidental lick against his neck even as he stiffened slightly at the blatant reminder of Jean's age and just how little control the younger man had over his own life. Marco hadn't given much thought to  _ why _ Jean hadn't been there and it just seemed natural that they wouldn't continue going once they were together but it was a jarring reminder. Jean was a  _ teenager _ with a mother who could  _ confiscate _ his things. But… he was also Marco's boyfriend and he made Marco happy and Marco obviously made him happy and it was  _ only _ a few months… Marco forced himself to relax as he let out a slow exhale of air, running his hands slowly up and down the other man's back.

"I'm glad it worked out too… But… If she freaked out like that over an ID and some weird clothes… I'd hate to see what she'd say to 'oh hey mum I'm dating a pop idol'. Even once you're 18, I still don't think she'd exactly be happy about it… But… you're… you'd be okay with that, right?" Marco's arms tensed slightly. He knew Jean wasn't exactly close with his mother but as far as he knew she was also really the  _ only _ family he had and if it came to choosing between having no family and Marco… The freckled man wasn't sure he could count on which one the teen would choose. "I mean, I'm still here for you no matter what, okay? I care about you and I wanna be with you. ...Even if that sounds cheesy."

Jean tensed a little when Marco did, but relaxed when the other man did as well, thank god he didn’t freak out again. At this point Jean didn’t know if he could really handle being pushed away. As his boyfriend spoke Jean listened and gave a small nod, he didn’t actively go out of his way to annoy his mother but she didn’t really actively go out of her way to emotionally be there for him like a normal mother would. Even when he was small there was an odd sort of distance between him and his mother, she was always sort of stiff seeming, they didn’t hug, she didn’t kiss him on the head like the other mums did at nursery and the most emotional investment she seemed to have with him from early on was with his grades.

Jean swallowed the lump in his throat and responded at last. “I- I don’t care what she thinks… I don’t even know how she’d react to me being g-gay. She’s… not really happy about much when it comes to me to be honest? Except my grades.” Jean paused to compose himself. “Well anyway, I wanna be with you too so fuck her.” He finished with a huff and squeezed Marco tighter once more, leaning back enough so that their faces were level but Jean’s was still to the side slightly he whispered against the corner of Marco’s mouth. “Kiss me, Marco…”

Marco gave a small, sad little hum of understanding when Jean talked about his relationship with his mother. It made him a little bit sad to think that Jean didn't have any family that was important to him and that he felt loved and accepted by  but it wasn't his place to comment on it. If the woman had failed to make herself someone her son liked as a person, that was her problem and not either of theirs. He felt his heart flutter with a small little smile anyway when Jean said he didn't care and wanted to be with him. Marco was slightly surprised when Jean leaned back but smiled at the words. "Don't have to ask me twice…" 


	11. Boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco wants Jean. Jean wants Marco. They both know this. The line in the sand Marco they said they wouldn't cross just keeps being chipped away with blurred boundaries. We've at last reached the climax and conclusion of the Valentine's Day chapters. But what happens when they encounter the ramifications of their actions?

“Well anyway, I wanna be with you too so fuck her.” Jean finished with a huff and squeezed Marco tighter once more, leaning back enough so that their faces were level but Jean’s was still to the side slightly he whispered against the corner of Marco’s mouth. “Kiss me, Marco…”

Marco was slightly surprised when Jean leaned back but smiled at the words. "Don't have to ask me twice…" Marco turned his head slightly to catch the younger man's lips with his own in a slow and tender kiss, nipping gently at Jean's lower lip. The sad thoughts had continued for long enough as far as he was concerned. They needed a change of pace, not to be talking about Jean's mother of all things during the precious time they had together. He let his hands continue drifting slowly up and down the other's back before slowly coming to rest lightly on his ass and giving a small squeeze. Marco pulled back with a small smirk on his lips. "You know… this position is just a little suggestive. Straddling me and demanding kisses like that… Might be enough to give a guy… ideas."

Jean smiled at Marco’s response until the kiss started and he pressed back with eagerness, gasping when Marco nipped at his lips and shivering pleasantly at the way the other man’s hands were moving up and down his body. When Marco’s hands came to rest on his ass and squeezed Jean couldn’t help the low groan that came out of him and he pushed back into the hands.

“Nnh… What sort of things do you wanna do to me, Marco…” Jean whispered, again rolling his hips slightly to press back into the grip on him. “Or do you like being told what to do instead?” He asked, voice trembling slightly and a blush rising on his cheeks. Though despite that Jean lifted a hand and raked his fingers through Marco’s hair, until his hand was on-top of Marco’s head and he grabbed a fistful - not too hard - tugging so Marco’s head was tipped back a bit. He’d figured Marco liked his hair being tugged on a while back, so knew at least the other wouldn't protest to this action or dislike him for it.

A small pleased groan escaped Marco when Jean pressed his ass back into his hands. Jean's words and movements had him letting out a small lusty huff, biting his lip as he groped at the younger man's ass. The fingers in his hair made him shudder before a sudden moan was pulled out of him at the tugging, letting his head be pulled back. That was a definite weakness for him, cock giving an excited twitch in his pants.

"J-jean…" Struggling to get his brain to function in sync with his brain, Marco squeezed Jean's ass a bit firmer before sliding his fingers up against the teen's back under his still-unbuttoned shirt, the action causing the fabric to be pulled open slightly. He let a small noise between a purr and a growl escape from his throat. "Whichever you want, angel. I'm happy both ways… Let me have my way with you or tell me what to do, it's all good to me. Hell, have your way with me if you want to. Just  _ fuck _ let me  _ touch _ you." Marco bit his own lip slightly as he dragged his nails lightly but suddenly down Jean's back.

Jean revelled in the way the other man moaned at his ministrations, and then Marco said his name  _ like that _ all stuttered and hot and fuck Jean felt something in him snap at that sound. It scratched an itch he never knew he had and made him want to  _ bully _ the other man and tell him what to do… “F-fuck.. I wanna  _ fuck you so bad… _ ” Jean moaned as he arched into the touch to his back. “Ah-!” He choked on the noise and arched up in response to the way Marco suddenly scratched him, his dick throbbing pleased in his pants and he couldn’t resist rolling his pelvis so his growing erection pressed up against the other man’s stomach for some friction.

Marco shuddered at Jean's moaned words. The idea of the smaller man fucking him rather than the other way around was an odd sort of thrill that sparked in his veins. He gave another little growl at the way Jean arched and rolled his hips against him. He could feel that Jean was already at least noticeably hard, if not fully. His own hips bucked slightly against the air, desperate for contact.

“Sh-shit Marco…. y-you like touching me huh...mnh… how bout you show how much you like it with your mouth on my neck n chest then...hmh?” With his hand still wrapped around Marco’s hair Jean tugged the other man’s mouth close to his collar bones, pressing him there though not hard. “G-go on…” He encouraged, breath slightly laboured.

"Hell yes I like it…" Marco groaned out the words in response. When his head was tugged forward against Jean's chest, he couldn't resist. The way the teen's breaths came just a bit short, chest rising and falling heavily, right below Marco's lips made something in him snap. "You fucking asked for it…" The older man all but growled out the words before latching onto Jean's collarbone with a series of small bites, laving over each bite with his tongue immediately after. His hands moved back down to keep a firm grip on Jean's ass as he moved downward quickly, biting down Jean's chest. He flicked his tongue across one nipple before suckling at it with just the barest hint of teeth grazing across the sensitive flesh.

Jean’s breath hitched as Marco told him he’d asked for it and he was momentarily taken aback by how fiercely the other man had spoken, shuddering and gasping at the noise before Marco’s mouth was on him and he moaned deep and loudly. “F-fuck..Marco… yeah like that...so good.” He purred around his heavy breaths as his ass pushed back into the hands on it.

Jean mewled slightly as his nipple was teased, cock twitching in response and he couldn’t help the way his hand tugged on Marco’s hair. “ _ Shit _ … Marco, more!” Jean let his head fall back, hips thrusting lightly against the other man’s stomach and into the hands holding him. He’d thought it wouldn’t be possible to get hard against after the intensity of earlier, but apparently he’d been wrong and to be honest he knew that when he and Marco met they usually got off at least three times, as if their time apart just built up too much for once to be enough.

Marco moaned out at the way Jean's tugging at his hair made him feel. He gave another small growl in response, biting and sucking at the nipple before nipping to a spot right beside it and suckling there instead, teeth grazing across the skin and easily drawing up a dark mark as he continued squeezing and groping at the soft flesh in his grasp. Marco hesitated almost as soon as he was done, not sure if he should have done that. But  _ fuck _ Jean's skin looked good with the hickey standing out against it.

Deciding to not care for once, Marco moved back in. He nipped across to the other nipple while leaving a few smaller marks on Jean's chest on his way before flattening his tongue against it as well. Struggling to adjust his grip for a moment, he managed--albeit somewhat awkwardly--to slip his hands down the back of Jean's pants to grope directly against his skin. He flicked the tip of his tongue against the younger man's nipple teasingly a few times before giving it a harsh suckling as well, the skin growing swollen and sensitive by the time he pulled back. He was definitely hard now, and if the way Jean was rolling his hips against Marco's stomach was any indication, the other man was as well. "We should… b-bed… bedroom." Somehow after their earlier activities had been in his bed, this would have seemed less in comparison if it wasn't.

Jean didn’t even try to hold back his voice at the way Marco was nipping and sucking at him in a way that made him want to writhe and whimper, his pants felt damp on the inside of the zipper where he was already leaking excitedly. “Ha~h… mn yeah… don’t stop.” Jean purred as the hands made their way beneath his pants and the feeling of fingers digging into his flesh was glorious.

His nipples were surprisingly sensitive and Jean pressed a hard kiss to the top of Marco’s head where his hand wasn’t clenched in the other man’s hair. “Mn...but… I dun wanna let go… will take too long… wanna stay on you..” Jean said almost petulantly as he pressed his thighs tight against Marco’s sides and wrapped his free hand more tightly around the back of the other man’s shoulders. “Carry me?” He said as an almost whisper after a moment, then chewed his lip wondering if that was a bit too much, he might like being manhandled by Marco but asking the other man to stand up with Jean clinging to him like a koala may have seemed odd or even annoying to the other man. “Mnh...y-you don’t have to.” He backpedaled and started to move away.

Marco stilled for a moment at the whispered request, heart hammering in his chest at the way Jean's thighs felt pressed against him. He tugged Jean closer to him when he started to pull away, sitting up slightly to smirk at his boyfriend as he spoke in a low tone. "Better hold on tight…" Adjusting his grip on the smaller man's ass, he stood quickly in one motion, keeping them close together to keep his balance. It never failed to amaze him how light the teen was. Not that he was complaining since it did at least allow him the opportunity to do things like this.

Holding Jean tight to him, Marco crossed out of the room quickly in familiar strides. It was a bit more awkward with the teen's body blocking most of his view, but he knew the apartment well enough that it wasn't any real problem. In the bedroom, he dropped to his knees on the edge of the bed before tipping forward, moving one hand away from Jean's ass to catch himself on his bent arm, effectively trapping the other beneath him. Adjusting his position slightly, Marco moved to nip at Jean's collarbones, leaving a small series of marks as he gave a roll of his hips, grinding against the smaller man from his distinctly sexual angle.

Jean blinked as he was pulled back and Marco told him to hold on before sitting up swiftly. The teen yelped as the older man stood and he clung to him by wrapping his arms and legs around Marco’s body tightly as he moved down the hall and into the bedroom, where Jean was deposited onto the bed with care and Marco was pressing against him and thrusting and Jean  _ moaned _ .

Rolling his hips up to meet his boyfriend's motions Jean couldn’t help the way he was clawing at Marco’s back, gasping around his sounds of pleasure he squeezed his legs more tightly around Marco’s hips and pressed a hard lingering kiss to the other man’s head. “Marco fuck don’t stop- shit...fuck...I wish it was April already it’s not fair.” He whined and moaned at the same time as he spoke, dropping his hands low to grab Marco’s ass and squeeze it with a shuddering gasp before slipping his hands under the other man’s pants and underwear to grab the bare flesh and knead it.

Eyes rolling back slightly at the sound of Jean's moan combined with the clawing at his back and the delicious pressure against his cock when he rolled his hips against the man under him, Marco couldn't help a moan spilling out from himself as well. Marco shuddered slightly at the kiss to the top of his head as he continued biting and nipping at Jean's skin.

"God… I fucking  _ know _ … Want you so bad…" Marco groaned. April seemed like forever with how badly he just wanted to fuck his boyfriend into the bed. ...Or any available surface, really. He wasn't picky. He gave a small whining noise at the feeling of Jean's hands on his ass, arching into the contact momentarily before thrusting his hips against the younger man a bit harder. The hand he wasn't using to support himself moved between them, undoing the button of Jean's pants and slipping his fingertips inside of them slightly to carefully slide down the zipper, mindful of the fact that his underwear were still in the other room. He moved to grab the other man's cock, giving him a small stroke.

“Uh- Mnh!” Jean tipped his head back and closed his eyes tightly at the feeling of Marco thrusting hard against him, cock throbbing in its confines and the other man seemed to be psychic because he was moving to unzip Jean’s pants and  _ oh yes _ he stroked the teen's cock just barely and Jean felt himself coming undone again. “AH- More-- oh god Marco please!”

Jean arched his back and pressed himself into the hand on him with a whine, the hands on Marco’s ass kneading the flesh for a moment more before Jean almost shyly let his index finger stroke into the cleft of Marco’s cheeks. His breath hitched and he wondered if this was ok with the other man, what if Marco didn’t  _ like _ his ass being touched, whilst Jean had no intention of pressing his finger into the other man - although he  _ really _ wanted to - he didn’t know if teasing strokes and presses would be well received and he stuttered a breath before pulling his finger away and going back to squeezing.

Marco trembled slightly at the sound of Jean  _ begging _ . He wanted to hear more of that noise, the dizzying sound of the teen's need and the fantastic way he said his name. Marco was almost certain that if his cock wasn't already straining at the confines of his pants, he could get hard just from the sound of Jean saying his name like  _ that _ .

Then Jean's brushed a finger between the cheeks of his ass and Marco's hips jerked sharply. An embarrassing whine escaped him at the sensation and how quickly it was gone as he felt Jean's breath hitch beneath him. He was  _ very _ sure that he wanted the teen to fuck him at some point. "Fuck that felt good…" Marco murmured the small words as part reassurance and part encouragement as he stroked Jean's cock in earnest. He moved up slightly to leave a few more marks across the tops of his boyfriend's shoulders, barely aware enough to be careful of where the neck of his shirt would be at least.

Jean bit his lip and stifled a small whine when Marco said that his finger felt good when he’d brushed it there and he wanted so badly to hear the way the other man whined for it again. So as Marco moved his kissing and sucking and nipping -  _ oh god that mouth  _ \- to Jean’s shoulders the youth pressed his finger between Marco’s cheeks again, this time a little more sure of himself as he gently brushed the tip against Marco’s asshole.

“M-Marco…” Jean sobbed the other man’s name on a moan and arched his back again, bucking his hips as he stroked the other man’s ass with gentle  _ almost  _ probing motions because  _ shit _ he didn’t know how Marco could ever resist to stick his fingers in. It felt so soft and tight and he was sure the inside would be even  _ better _ and  _ hotter _ . “Haa-nnhh I want you…  _ I need you _ .” He felt like crying with frustration and squeezed Marco’s rear hard with the hand that wasn’t stroking his hole.

Marco gave a soft groan when he felt Jean's finger brush against his hole. He shivered noticeably at the way the younger man moaned out his name. The gentle probing at the sensitive skin of his rim along with those  _ words _ coming from his lips had Marco's eyes rolling back into his head slightly. His pants were far too tight. Marco stopped stroking Jean's cock for a moment in favour of undoing his own pants, letting a relieved sigh out as the zipper was no longer unyieldingly hard against him. He leaned his head against Jean's shoulder, not trusting himself not to bite too hard, and returned to stroking him faster instead.

"Oh god…  _ Jean _ …" Marco whined again at the firm squeeze of his ass combined with the tantalising pressure of the other man's finger. He knew Jean wanted to do more and  _ fuck _ he wanted to let him. In that moment, he wanted to let Jean do whatever the hell he wanted as long as it felt so damn good. And even if he did something, if it was  _ Marco's _ ass and not Jean's then… Surely that was better at least, right? Marco couldn't suppress a small buck of his hips at the thought, inadvertently pressing back against the probing digit. He shuddered, pushing his forehead against Jean's shoulder more firmly and giving another grinding roll of his hips just for some pressure against his desperate cock. "Fucking hell… Want you so bad…"

Jean whined as Marco’s hand left his dick, thrusting against the back of the other man’s knuckles as Marco’ unzipped himself and freed his erection with a sigh. The way Marco moaned his name made Jean’s cock leak more heavily and he blushed harder at the feeling as the older man’s hand returned to his cock and started to jerk him faster than before. He couldn’t help the way his body stiffened and bucked at the feeling, gasping and moving the hand that wasn’t stroking Marco’s hole up to his mouth Jean sucked on his middle finger sloppily, smothering it in enough saliva that it dripped when he pulled it out and moved it back down quickly into Marco’s pants.

“W-want… you…  _ need you Marco. _ ” Jean moaned and switched fingers, the slick one smoothing over the tight ring of muscle before he couldn’t stand it and Jean pressed inside gently until he was in to the first knuckle. It was just the tiniest bit and yet Jean thought he’d explode at the sensation as his cock gave a longing throb and twitch in the other man's hand, he swore it felt like he got even  _ harder _ if that was possible. Jean slipped his other hand down and around to the front of Marco as he wiggled the tip of his finger inside his boyfriends body, grabbing Marco’s cock without any hint at teasing and stroking it hard and fast. “W-wanna.. feel you so bad… hhhaa...Marco… lo- like you...I like you ...so much…  _ fuck. _ ” He sobbed as he pressed his face to the side of Marco’s head.

With his head pressed firmly against Jean's shoulder, Marco was focused on the teasing pressure and stroking the other man's cock. He didn't see the way the younger man moved to suck on his finger, only giving a small frustrated noise because that hand wasn't squeezing at his ass anymore. But then the hand was slipping back into his pants only it wasn't groping at him. Instead it was--

" _ Oh fuck _ …" Marco shuddered at the slick finger sliding against his rim and then  _ pushing in _ . He knew he should tell Jean to stop. They'd agreed on no sex. And fingering was very questionably on that line. Though, Marco realized distantly he'd already been the first to chip away at that line in the sand when he was rimming Jean earlier. And if it was the younger man who was doing this to Marco with no direction rather than Marco telling him to or doing something to him instead then it wasn't  _ so _ bad. At least, that was the logic he scrambled to put together in his brain.

And then Jean was stroking Marco's cock and wiggling his finger and Marco couldn't take it anymore. He bucked against the probing digit, forcing it a bit deeper before bucking into the hard and fast stroking. The older man picked up the intensity of his own strokes to Jean's cock, pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses across the teen's shoulder wherever he could reach. The almost-confession made his breath hitch but he couldn't stop to dwell on it. Instead, he only nodded repeatedly. "I know… Fuck I want you…  _ All _ of you… Soon, angel, soon… Oh  _ fuck _ …" He knew he should tell Jean to stop but like hell if he wanted to. It was hard enough focusing on keeping his strokes firm and even when all he wanted to do was just have one of them fucking the other right then and there. The idea of making it stop altogether was absurd.

Jean felt so tense with arousal that it was hard for him to focus on having any real rhythm between his finger and his fist and they worked at odds with each other as Marco started to stroke Jean harder and mutter words of longing and profanity. “Y-yeah… oh god..Marco so hot… t-tight…” He whimpered again and pushed his finger in more, hooking his heels behind Marco’s thighs to force the other man’s body upwards a bit so he could reach better.

Once Marco was slightly higher up Jean choked on a groan and couldn’t help shoving his finger into the other man’s body as deep as it would go. “Haah… s-sorry… too...too good...amazing… hot..  _ Marco _ … wanna cum… wanna fuck … you ah.. shit…!” Jean was sobbing with pleasure again and his heels dug into the mattress as he started to shove his hips up into the other man’s fist desperately. His own hand movements became jerky and trembling as he finger fucked the 0other man eagerly. “Please… p _ lease… oh god please! _ ” Jean was gasping into the room as he felt his orgasm quickly rushing towards him.

Marco trembled slightly from the erratic mismatch of movements, not sure which way to jerk his body to get more stimulation. Somehow it only seemed to spur him on. He gasped slightly at being suddenly tugged upwards, complying easily. He was glad he did when Jean suddenly shoved his finger in deeper. He moaned out, bucking back onto it. He nodded absently at the words, not really hearing more than something about fucking and cumming. Both of which sounded like immensely good ideas to his lust-fogged brain.

Between the hard, jerky strokes and the finger thrusting in and out of him, he was so close and it was obvious Jean was as well. His hips alternated between thrusting into Jean's hand and arching back against his finger. "Fuck,  _ Jean _ … don't s-stop… oh god don't stop…" His voice cracked slightly around the plea as he started stroking Jean harder when the younger man started bucking into his hand. He was so  _ close _ .

Jean turned his head and bit down on Marco’s neck before gasping and pulling away with a hot mumbled apology and a strong hope that he hadn’t left a mark there - he didn’t think so but it was still a possibility. Instead Jean tipped his head back, sending moans skywards as his body tensed and coiled ever tighter. “Ah..fuck..M-arco… gunna cum.. I'm so-h oh fuck I’m gunna cum..” Jean’s broken, sobbing cries seemed to echo in the air around them and he spread his legs wide as he worked his finger harder in and out. He did his best to jerk Marco with a twist of the wrist near the tip of the other man’s cock because that’s what felt best.

“Ah- c-cummINgh! AH!” Jean suddenly tensed and bucked his hips, spilling between their bodies messily and luckily not getting any on his shirt or pants as he rode out his orgasm with shuddering intensity before sagging to the bed. He’d tried his hardest to keep his hand motions on the other man up but he hadn’t been able to keep them as fluid as before - not that he was very skilled with his hands anyway.

Marco gasped out a moan at the sudden bite that was nearly enough to push him over the edge, gritting his teeth slightly. His breaths came hard in gasps and pants between small moans and groans. God he just wanted to cum. He trembled at the almost hysterical sobbing moans that came from the other man, loving how  _ lost _ in it Jean always got. Then Jean was releasing between them and Marco was only a few moments behind.

"Fuck… fu… ck… Jean!" Marco cried out with a moan of the other's name as his climax hit him. He just barely managed to move the hand that had been stroking Jean to cup the head of his own cock instead, keeping himself from getting Jean's clothes messy. Marco stayed still as he panted for a few moments. He moved forward slightly, away from his boyfriend's hand, before rolling himself off and to the side to collapse on the bed, a breathless flush on his face and chest as he wiped the mess on his hand onto the sheets absently. "I… was not expecting that." His words were light, broken by an airy laugh before he yawned and melted into the bed slightly. Every muscle in his body felt like lead, particularly the arm he'd been holding himself up with. Another yawn escaped him, bleary and dazed as he looked over at the teen.

Jean let out another sobbing moan as Marco came hard, the feeling of the other man’s muscles tightening around his finger was amazing and enough to draw out another small spurt from his cock at the very edges of his orgasms end. When Marco was finished and they were both panting and spent Jean groaned at the loss of the other man’s warmth as Marco rolled away from him and wiped his hands on the sheets.

Jean’s own hands were now both limp beside him, legs splayed and hanging off of the edge of the bed as he closed his eyes and caught his breath almost unable to stay conscious. “I… sorry… I couldn’t help...d-did I.. hurt you I… sorry…” Jean panted and groaned, flinging an arm across his eyes as his face burned hotter at the memory of actually finger fucking Marco. Had he crossed a line? Even though Marco came and seemed to be ok in the heat of the moment that didn’t mean the other man would be ok with it when he came to his senses...right? And the reason they weren’t fucking yet was purely for Marco’s comfort since if it was down to Jean he thought he’d probably jump on the man’s dick on day one. Even though he was actually half terrified that having something in his ass would really hurt - a tongue was one thing since it didn’t really go deep and it was soft and wet but… fingers? A dick?

In an attempt to distract himself from the mingled anxiety and impatient thoughts Jean scooped the semen off of his stomach and copied Marco’s earlier motion by wiping it on the already stained sheets with a quiet grunt.

Marco blinked with a frown at Jean's words before laughing and shaking his head. The teen was worried that he'd hurt Marco with one finger? "What? God no, don't apologize. That was… really hot. Besides it was just  _ one _ finger, that's like nothing." Marco might not have bottomed for someone too often in the past, but that didn't mean he didn't know his way around his own ass or even play with it on occasion. And one finger hadn't even what he started with for himself in years. But it just felt so sensitive and good because it was  _ Jean _ . ...And probably in no small part the taboo aspect of whether or not he should even be letting Jean do that to him in the first place. Sure it wasn't  _ sex _ sex but their 'line in the sand' had at least gotten very blurry. He just couldn't bring himself to turn Jean down, much less deny his own urges.

"I mean… we… probably shouldn't have done that. But… I'm inclined to say  _ fuck that _ , honestly? Right now I just… can't care. It felt good. ...And you seemed to enjoy doing that too." Marco gave a cheeky wink. But it was true, he couldn't bring himself to care about the 'should' and 'shouldn't' in that moment. He wanted to feel more, wanted to  _ do _ more. Well, not right at that moment obviously. He gave a breathless little sigh, turning slightly towards Jean. His eyes widened slightly as he realized just how  _ many _ little marks he'd left across the teen's skin. Between that and the marks on his wrists, it certainly  _ looked _ like he'd had some  _ really _ rough sex. Marco tried to not think about how hot that look was on him--tried being key. But still… he'd been so careful to leave no marks, no trace… Marco forced a sheepish laugh. "...You're uhm… going to have to be careful being shirtless for a few days… Sorry." Another yawn escaped him and he made a frustrated noise, rubbing at the bridge of his nose with his clean hand in a failed attempt to wake himself up more. "...Mnh… I'm exhausted…"

Jean lay there with his arm across his eyes as Marco insisted that it hadn’t hurt, that it was  _ just _ a finger and he wondered if it really felt ok…. sort of craved to find out but also sort of wanted Marco to be the one to do it because he knew what he was doing and Jean could do all the research in the world and still end up hurting himself or something stupid that would put him off of doing it forever, and he didn’t  _ want _ to be put off because he wanted  _ Marco _ to fuck him…  _ Make love _ to him. His stomach flip flopped as his mind supplied that phrase and he groaned as he rolled onto his side to face Marco, finally looking at the other man through heavy lids.

“It...it felt really good inside you.” Jean admitted and closed his eyes again in embarrassment because  _ god _ he’d been  _ inside _ Marco. When Marco said he’d have to be careful shirtless Jean grunted softly. “No one see’s me shirtless except you anyway, I change in the bathroom stall at school because of my legs…” Jean admitted with a little bit of an uncomfortable sort of shrug. “Plus it’s weird to be topless around your mum isn’t it?” He scrunched his nose. “Ugh...anyway… I think I’ll be staring at myself constantly it’s….it’s hot…” He blushed again and licked his lips, unable to withhold a yawn..

“Mn...I’m tired too… need a nap again…” Jean reached out with a hand towards Marco, grabbing one of the other man’s hands in his and lacing their fingers together as he started to doze off a bit with a soft, contented smile on his features.

Marco blushed at the comment about Jean being inside him. Sure it was only a lone finger but… still. He gave a vague shrug at Jean's response about his shirt. A soft smile toyed at the corner of his lips. It was sad but understandable that Jean felt the need to hide himself like that. Still, Marco couldn't complain too much about being the only one to get to see him like this. "Yeah, I guess. It… does suit you." The dark marks stood out beautifully against Jean's skin and Marco wanted very much to lick and nuzzle at each one.

Allowing their fingers to be laced together, Marco tugged Jean close to him, resting the younger man's head on his chest with a yawn. He thought briefly that he really should get up and set an alarm but… his phone was on the coffee table and Jean was warm and comfortable in his arms. Marco hadn't slept more than three or four hours at a stretch in years anyway, a combination of insomnia and a hectic schedule forcing him into a system of naps and middle-of-the-night awakenings. So he was sure it would be fine. Moving just seemed far too difficult. And his eyelids far too heavy. He was asleep in a matter of minutes.

Jean made a quiet, happy noise as Marco pulled him close and nuzzled the other man’s shoulder lazily as he wrapped around him. He was asleep quickly enough that he didn’t remember throwing his leg over Marco and he slept deeply and comfortably for hours.

When Jean finally stirred he groaned softly and opened his eyes to blearily look at the sleeping man next to him with a fond expression and a flutter in his belly. Gently extracting himself from Marco, Jean pressed a light kiss to the tip of the other man’s nose before scooting off of the bed and half running to the bathroom to appease his uncomfortably full bladder. Once finished and after washing his hands the teen walked into the lounge, stretching his arms above his head before lazily buttoning his shirt after glance down at himself with a blush and a proud sort of grin.

Digging through his bag Jean pulled out his phone and flipped it open, only to see the time was 3:50am and his mother would be home in ten minutes. He panicked instantly and threw his phone back into his backpack along with his inhaler as he scrambled into the bedroom to pick up his padded vest, shrugging it on and zipping it up before jumping onto the bed on all fours above Marco. “Marco! S-sorry I gotta go! I got less than ten minutes to get home!” He pressed a kiss to the other man, hoping he hadn’t startled him too much, before leaping off the bed. “I’ll call you ok! Byebye!” Then he was out of the room and pulling on his shoes, half tying the laces and grabbing his bag to run out of the door and hopefully get home in time.

Marco had stirred slightly when Jean pulled out of his grip. He still felt heavy, heavier than usual. How long had they been asleep? There was a sudden rustling noise from outside the room and then Jean was bolting into the room and all but leaping on top of him panicked and dressed and Marco's heart lurched itself into his chest in panic because what was going on and--ten minutes!? Marco sat bolt upright when Jean lept off of him again, clutching at his chest. "Shit! I uhm yeah, yeah! Right! Hurry! Bye!"

There was no way Jean could make it home in ten minutes, Marco knew that. Even  _ without _ having to maintain a slower running pace because of his asthma with the cold night air, Jean wasn't exactly  _ built _ for exertion. He knew it was a good half hour trip. Maybe at best it would take him twenty minutes if by some miracle he managed to push himself. But still, Jean's mother would  _ know _ he'd been out and  _ fuck _ that was not good. Not with how marked up he was and his wrists and the sleep-tousled hair he'd bolted off with. Suddenly very awake, Marco went to lock his door before grabbing his phone. 3:55am. There was no way in hell Jean could be home in five minutes even if he could fly.  _ Fuck _ . How had they managed to sleep this long!? He started to pace the apartment, wide awake and too worried to even think about sleep.

Jean ran for a good five minutes before he was choking on the cold air and fumbling for his inhaler because  _ fuck _ that  _ hurt _ . He didn’t stop moving as he took it, clumsily dropping it mid puff the first time as his hands were trembling so much so he had to do it twice more at a slower pace and luckily it worked. For the most part. Twenty minutes later Jean was taking the stairs in his apartment building two at a time, luckily he only lived on the second floor of four and he fumbled with his keys in the lock of the door, pushing it open quietly and praying to god that his mother had gone straight to sleep and assumed her son was sleeping soundly in his own bed.

He closed the door as quietly as possible, trying to keep his gasping breaths to a minimum as he toed off his shoes and tiptoed down the tiny hallway to the kitchen-dining-living area. It was so quiet and dark, all Jean could hear was the clock ticking above the sink and he almost let out a sigh of relief, until he heard the sound of a coffee mug being placed onto the wooden dining table. His heart pounded in his ears and he thought he was going to be sick, at least he’d just get grounded for ‘hanging out at bars’ or something again right? He could play it off right?

“What time do you call this, Jean?” His mother's voice was cold and level and it sent chills up the teens spine. “Turn on the light.” She said with a tap of her fingernails on the table, impatient and riled already.

“F-fuck… mum I can explain!” Jean stuttered as he fumbled with the light and blinked away the sting in his eyes as it came on and he saw his mother. Still in her uniform from work and looking at him skeptically. It was a look that quickly changed as her eyes moved over him and stopped first at his neck area and then at his wrists and his blood ran cold.  _ O-Oh fuck… _

“Who have you been out fucking? Jean? Do you even understand what you’re doing!?” She stood up and walked around the table to him, grabbing his backpack as Jean made a noise of protest.

“N-No! I haven’t-!” He started but was cut off.

“Shut up! Do you think I’m stupid!? You go out with a fake ID wearing those… those  _ awful _ things, drinking and probably taking drugs and  _ fucking  _ around!? Do you want to catch a disease!? Do you want to be a father so desperately and leave a woman in  _ that state _ !?” She ranted as she opened his bag and rifled through it, pulling out his phone and then making a horrified face as she spied the cum covered underwear. “You filthy little shit.” She hissed.

“W-wait mum- you  _ can’t _ just go through my stuff! Fuck, mum!” He grabbed for his bag and his phone but was slapped away as his mother scrolled through his messages. Her expression growing blacker.

“It’s a  _ man!? _ You’re fucking a  _ man _ !?” Oh fuck he hated her when she was like this, it scared him and pissed him off and made him so unbelievably  _ sad _ . “Well you’re not any more.  _ Ever _ again. You need to be focusing on  _ school _ you’re not going out outside of school hours again, Jean. And you certainly aren’t ever seeing this… this… fucking gay again!”

At those words Jean felt himself begin to crack and crumble inside, it wasn’t just the thought of not being allowed out again, not being able to see Marco but the utter and complete disgust in her voice at the word  _ gay _ . Invalidating him with just her tone and making him feel as disgusting as when he’d struggled with his sexuality and self harmed months and years ago. Almost hyperventilating, Jean hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down his face or the fact that his mother had his phone up to her ear.

“M-Mum  _ NO! _ ”

Marco was glad for the sound insulation in his apartment. He was sure his downstairs neighbours wouldn't have appreciated his pacing around at 4am otherwise. He hadn't stopped moving since Jean left, walking aimlessly back and forth with his phone clutched tight in his hand. His mind churned and whirled with thoughts and worries. Jean's mother would know he'd been out. At fuck-ass in the morning. Out when he shouldn't be. And oh god if she saw all those marks… Jean's wrists particularly. But also the chaotic smattering of hickeys. It wouldn't be good, that was for sure.

Marco didn't want to think about what this could mean. For either of them.  _ Fuck _ how had he been so careless!? How had either of them be so careless? How could he let himself fall asleep? Why hadn't he gotten up to set an alarm? How had he slept for so long? He'd let himself get lost in being with Jean and it was foolish and now he'd potentially jeopardized  _ everything _ . Marco felt panicked and worried tears pricking at his eyes, forcing them back as best as he could as he began pacing around more aggressively, channeling his frustrations as best as he could.

When his phone started ringing in his hand, Marco nearly jumped out of his skin, feet breaking contact with the ground for the smallest moment. He clutched at his chest momentarily before letting out a slow breath and answering without thinking. "Jean, baby, are you okay? Did you get home okay?" It was only after the words left his mouth that the possibility Jean's mother had taken his phone even entered his mind and he froze, going dead quiet. His mind was a chaos of static and panicked noises.

Jean tried to get the phone from his mother again but she shoved him with a venomous look, hard enough that he fell against the table and making him hiss at the way it knocked into the side of his hip. She always did this when he did anything out of line, he should have known better, he shouldn’t have gone, he was going to lose  _ everything _ because he’d thought about being with Marco too much and not about getting home. His breath hitched on ugly sobs as he clung to the edge of the table. “Mum… please… don’t.”

But it was too late. “I’m not your baby and neither is my son.” She hissed down the phone, Jean sobbed even louder in the background, feeling his legs giving out as he sunk to the floor. “And let me tell you this you fucking faggot you’re never sticking your dirty dick in my son again. How old are you? Are you grooming him? You sick bastard.” Her words were harsh and sharp and every one cut Jean like a knife.

“Mum no! It’s-” Jean sobbed and she turned away from the phone for a moment. “Shut up! How could you do this to me!? After everything I went through with you!? Why the hell didn’t that abortion work if this is the fucking shit I get you ungrateful child!” Her voice was trembling with her rage and Jean choked and gagged on a breath as the words sank in. He didn’t hear anything else after than but his mother kept speaking.

“If you go near my son again you’ll have more than me to deal with. Don’t think I won't get your filthy ass thrown in jail you pervert!” She curled her lip and moved to hang up the phone, Jean’s broken, quiet sob of “Y-yeah… everyone.. would be happier if t-the abortion...worked…” breaking the silence between his mother's last words and her hanging up on Marco.

Marco was sure there was ice in his veins from the first words the woman on the other end of the phone said. His entire career was built on the sounds of things and it was easy to recognize her tone and know immediately what sort of person he was facing. Superior, with a strong sense of self-importance, controlling,  the type who couldn't even stop to  _ consider _ a differing opinion because they felt that strongly that theirs was the  _ only _ right one, the kind with little thought for consequence as long as they had things how they wanted. He could feel his body trembling as if it were a separate entity from him entirely.

Hearing Jean's sobbing in the background broke him inside. He was crying and this was Marco's fault. On some level, he registered that this was the first time he'd ever been called a faggot to his face and it was jarring to say the least, shooting a spark of red rage through the ice in his veins. "Ma'am I…" Marco started but trailed off with no idea how to continue, much less any presumption that she would even let him. But then the woman was yelling at Jean instead, quieter as she turned her head from the phone but still  _ very _ audible. Not only was she calling him a mistake, she was openly calling him  _ unwanted _ !? Oh  _ god _ who talked to their  _ child _ that way!? Marco's empty hand clenched into a fist at his side, nails digging into his palm harshly. Jean had said he and his mother weren't close but there was 'not close' and then there was  _ that _ , leaving the line of 'things that are okay to say' far behind in its obscenity.

Dazed, Marco couldn't even be bothered to register that she  _ wasn't _ calling the cops on him this time. He was too focused on that he was prohibited from seeing Jean again. He didn't even want to  _ think _ about not being able to see him and talk to him and his cute smile. How the fuck had they been so  _ happy _ only a few hours ago when he felt like his heart was ripping itself out of his chest!? Why the  _ fuck _ did people have the ability to feel so good when it meant they could feel  _ this _ bad. Jean's last sobbed words before the phone disconnected made his heart shatter. He slowly lowered the phone from his ear, collapsing to his knees with the bright screen in his lap.  _ No no no god no _ . He wanted nothing more than to wrap the teen up in his arms again and kiss him and tell him everything would be alright because  _ no _ 'everyone' wouldn't be happier. Marco wouldn't have been happier. He was happy with Jean,  _ they _ were happy. Or… they  _ had been _ happy. Was there even a 'them' now? How could there be if he'd been told to not go near him? And oh  _ god _ Jean sounded so broken and it hurt so  _ fucking _ much because he  _ never _ wanted to hear the younger man's voice that hurt and  _ shattered _ and he wanted to  _ protect _ him because he  _ loved _ him and--

Marco's mind skidded to a halt. He was in love with Jean. The freckled man didn't know if he wanted to cry or laugh with the absurdity. His body had apparently decided on both as tears streamed down his face and a broken demented little laugh bubbled out. Fucking  _ perfect _ . He was in love with Jean, his goddamn _underage_ boyfriend who he was now prohibited from seeing, and it took  _ this _ for him to fucking realize it. Not earlier when they were happy. Not later. Not  _ never _ so he didn't have to fucking  _ hurt _ this badly in his heart. It had to be this. It had to be now. The timing couldn't have been more fucking  _ bitter _ in its irony. " _ FUUUCK _ !" Marco couldn't help the frustrated and anguished scream that ripped its way out of him, thudding his head repeatedly against the side of the couch. "Fuck fuck fuck  _ fuck _ !" He looked over at the table, silver metal tin from the cake all but mocking in its presence.

Marco's sobs wracked his body and he felt sick. He scrambled to his feet, barely making it to the toilet before emptying his stomach with a sick lurch. He stayed there for a good several minutes. Under any other situation, he would have been ashamed of sobbing over his goddamn toilet like some sort of distraught child, a harsh series of dry heaves threatening him anytime he tried to stand. But as it was, it seemed like a fine enough situation. Good enough for him, anyway. The sick fuck who let himself fall in love with a fucking seventeen year old. He should have known this would end badly. He  _ did _ know. But when Jean was in his arms he… He didn't care. He should have cared. He shouldn't have gotten himself into this. But  _ fuck _ he did and now he was in love with Jean and it fucking  _ hurt _ .

Finally managing to get back onto his feet, he rinsed out his mouth before stumbling to his bedroom. Collapsing to the bed, Marco realized belatedly how much it smelled like Jean still. Another series of smaller sobs shaking his body, he tugged a blanket off the bed as he rolled himself onto the floor. The bed smelled of Jean, the couch was too close to that fucking  _ cake _ . The floor would do. The floor was probably all he deserved. This was  _ his _ fault, after all. If he hadn't been so fucking  _ careless _ . He really hoped Jean was alright. If Jean hurt himself because of this, because of  _ him _ … Marco couldn't stand the thought. Curling himself under the blanket, Marco let himself cry out his anguish and self-loathing, phone clutched tight to his chest barely conscious in a silent prayer for it to ring. He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that.

When his mother hung up the phone Jean was staring blankly at the floor in front of himself, tears still streaming down his face but his sobs barely there as he sat in an almost doll like daze. His mother hadn’t even wanted him… He’d known they didn’t really get along, knew she sort of had a temper when he did shit he shouldn’t do but that was  _ his _ fault and now this was as well. The way she’d talked to Marco  _ oh god _ …. Marco… he loved him so much it was stupid… he loved him but Marco probably didn’t  _ love _ him back - like? sure… - and Jean’s own  _ mother _ apparently didn’t even feel that way about him and his chest hurt so much that he couldn’t breathe.

Faintly he heard the sound of plastic shattering as his mother dropped his phone to the floor and stepped on it with a heavy heel. “You won't need that any more. Go and wash. You’re disgusting. Then go to bed. I’m driving you to school from now on.” Then she picked up the phone, held it under the running tap in the sink and then finally threw it in the bin. Jean barely heard her but he managed to nod as she left the room and shut herself in her own bedroom for the rest of the night.

Dragging himself to his feet Jean numbly walked into the bathroom and stripped, looking in the mirror for only a moment before falling to his knees at the toilet and puking up the food he’d eaten earlier. The marks on him hurt to look at now, it  _ hurt _ … how could he be in so much pain? This was so much worse than before.

Choking on his heaves Jean finally finished being sick and glanced towards the medicine cabinet on the wall, there were scissors in there… there were  _ pills _ in there… “Ugh!” Closing his eyes tightly and hitting himself in the side of the head with an open fist Jean stood up and stumbled into the shower, scrubbing at his skin under the too cold spray of water until he felt raw all over and his hands and feet were numb. He turned it off, shivering and curling up into a ball on the floor of the shower for what could have been minutes or hours, until his body ached and he had to move to pee. Bundling up his clothes from that day Jean walked into the kitchen with a towel around his waist and shoved them into the bin; he couldn’t keep them now, just looking at them would remind him.


	12. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Valentine's Day, Jean and Marco are both broken and hurting. Finally able to get back into some level of contact but kept apart, is it enough to keep them together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you guys. Your comments on the last chapter and the reactions on Tumblr were fantastic. Sorry (not sorry) for the pain but strong reactions like that are really motivating to keep up with this fic. 
> 
> There's a song referenced in this chapter that plays a pretty big role. The song we had in mind was essentially a solo equivalent of [Sing For You by EXO.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqaSboKBIuA) So we definite recommend giving that a listen when you get to that point.

Jean didn’t sleep that night, ended up at school in a daze and stared blankly ahead of himself without writing a single thing. Connie was still absent with the flu and Jean had no other friends to speak of so he was left alone mostly. 

Marco woke up the next day with a migraine that felt like his head was splitting itself open. Crying and falling asleep had a tendency to do that, much less hysterical sobbing. He did his best to tidy up the apartment, throwing away the leftovers with a sick lurch of his stomach. The cake stayed untouched. Marco could hardly look at it without feeling the sting of tears pricking at his eyes. He stripped the bed but three small strips of blue tumbling out from between the sheets had him bolting for the bathroom. He spent the next countless minutes hunched over his toilet heaving up his empty stomach before shakily returning to finish the job. Marco tried to not dwell too much on how he almost compulsively folded the ties, setting them in an empty shoebox in his closet and shoving it to the back. He couldn't just  _ throw them out _ .

The next week passed in a daze and Jean wasn’t sure how many times he’d eaten but he was sure it was less than double figures, since every time he tried to eat he just felt like vomiting right away. Connie did his best to comfort Jean by saying things would be fine, badmouthing Jean’s mum which didn’t really help, he even took to wrapping Jean in tight hugs when the two of them were alone on the roof at lunch break. All Jean could do in those moments was cling to the other boy and cry.

After another week, Connie came to school with an old mobile phone in his hand, the type with the small green tinted screen and wasn’t good for much more than calls or texting or playing ‘snake’ but it was a  _ phone _ and Connie seemed a little more like an angel to Jean in that moment. The other youth explained it had a bit of credit on it but Jean would have to be careful since the plan was old and expensive but he’d put the money on it for Jean and the taller teenager couldn’t help but press a kiss to the other’s lips in his thanks because he felt  _ joy _ again for the briefest of moments.

When the first break came Jean went to the roof and curled himself in a corner behind the stairway, clutching the phone in trembling hands as he dialled Marco’s number - he’d memorised it of course - and held the phone to his ear. But after it rang twice Jean felt like he was going to puke again and what if Marco didn’t even want to hear from him again because he’d caused so much trouble and his mother had called him a  _ faggot _ and fuck… Jean hung up quickly and doubled over with a dry heave that ended in nothing but a small puddle of saliva on the floor beside him because he hadn’t eaten in… how many days had it been?

Biting his lip hard he tapped out a text message instead. ‘Im sory…’ He didn’t even care that it wasn’t spelled right as his eyes brimmed with tears and he pressed the send button before wrapping his arms around his knees and pressing his face to them.

Marco's days passed in a blur. He felt empty and like he was just going through the motions, lost in his own head. Was Jean okay? Was he suffering this much pain? Had he moved on yet? His mother hadn't hurt him, had she? Marco had no idea what the woman was or wasn't capable of. Would Jean ever try to see him again? Would he ever see Jean's face? What if Jean hurt himself again? Would she even care more than it being an 'inconvenience' to her? From her  _ unwanted _ child? How could she not see how goddamn  _ fantastic _ Jean was?

Marco went through the motions, spending his studio time trying to pretend everything was okay so it wouldn't show through in his voice. Two TV appearances made him choke his way through forced his smiles and his laughs, hoping no one noticed the way they didn't quite reach his eyes and the dark rings that formed on his face. Questions about his love life almost made him break down on the spot, instead shakily deflecting the question to one of the others as best as he could with a cheeky comment, a laugh, and a wave. It almost sickened him how  _ routine _ it all was. As if the world could just keep on spinning normally. He felt like bombs had gone off all around him but somehow he was the only one who noticed the carnage.

His manager seemed to be the only one concerned about the change, coming by to 'check up on him'. But it wasn't because he  _ cared _ . That was obvious when the guy had the nerve to lament that Marco was 'putting people off' with how he didn't 'seem quite himself'. He had the gall to say it as he stood in the middle of the freckled man's apartment, frowning at the disorganized clutter that had sprouted in the last week and a half. Marco wanted to punch him, break down crying, and run away screaming both at once. He'd used up more of his medication in the last seven… no ten… no-- _ however many _ days it had been than in the six months before that. He felt like he was made of brittle straw, like the slightest breeze might snap him in half; he was a porcelain cup teetering on a banister, waiting to shatter.

The shatter came when the man had started to tidy up Marco's apartment as he continued speaking. He plucked days worth of wrappers and takeout containers off the table--Marco had been meaning to throw them out, really--tossing them into a garbage bag before his grip fell to a silver tin. Marco all but threw himself at it, snatching it out of his manager's hands and clinging it to his chest as if it were a child rather than a baked good, crying hysterically about 'not that, don't touch that, anything but that'. The man was quick to leave after that, with only a warning that Marco had 'better be back to himself' by the time of the signing for his new CD. The CD that Marco had forgotten entirely about; his first solo cd comprised mostly of songs about  _ love _ and  _ heartbreak _ . He'd recorded it before he met Jean in-person when they were still just abstract concepts but now…  _ Fuck _ . It hit too close to home.

A few days later Marco was on his way to rehearse choreography for a new video when his phone rang. He'd barely had a chance to pull it out of his pocket before the ring stopped though. Marco was about to chalk it up to a wrong number when a text blipped through on his screen. He frowned at it, not recognizing the number. Who randomly texted someone an apology out of nowhere? Particularly right after calling and hanging up? An idea popped into his head and his eyes went wide. But… it couldn't be. He hadn't heard from Jean in weeks. Still, Marco dared to let himself feel  _ hope _ for one brief moment, typing back a simple '...Jean is that you? Are you okay?' and sending it off.

Jean was still curled around himself when the phone in his hand buzzed and he almost dropped it, pressing his lips together at the sick feeling as he opened the message and then burst out crying all over again because Marco had actually  _ replied _ with something more than ‘who is this?’ or ‘Leave me alone please’. He pulled off his glasses and pressed his hands to his eyes, the phone precariously held in one of them as he sobbed for a good ten minutes before he could see well enough to type out a tentative reply. ‘I’ll never be ok’ He sent it without hesitating, it was true after all.

Not just the way he was feeling but him as a person, he was just  _ wrong  _ wasn’t he? So wrong he wasn’t wanted from the start and he couldn’t understand why the woman kept him with her and bothered to feed him and dress him and  _ fuck _ . Jean punched the floor beside him with the hand not clinging to the phone and yelped at the pain in his knuckles, yet that pain felt  _ good _ … much better than the emotional pain and it was a welcome distraction and he’d been trying so hard not to slip into his old self harm habits… this didn’t count, right?

Marco had his phone out within seconds of the notification buzzing at his hip. He opened it and… his heart dropped. He felt a hot sting at the corners of his eyes and blinked hard, forcing himself to not cry. Jean was hurting… And it was his fault… And it only made Marco's heart ache more, desperate to fix it. But he  _ couldn't _ fix it. This, he couldn't fix. Marco excused himself to the bathroom abruptly, suddenly very glad the dance studio they rehearsed in had single-stall bathrooms. He locked the door before sliding down against it, tears slipping down his cheeks freely now that he was alone.

_ God _ Marco wanted to see him. Hear his voice. Anything. He looked at the time on his phone. Jean would be in school, probably. Marco didn't want to get him in worse trouble but… 'Can you call me? I miss you so much.' Even if it was only for a minute. Marco was just desperate to know Jean was surviving at least, even if they were both hurt. He fucking  _ loved _ Jean. He just wanted him to be okay. More than anything.

Jean was staring at his grazed knuckles when the phone vibrated again and he almost reluctantly opened the text message. The teen stared at the words on the screen for a long moment he wanted to call Marco so badly, he wanted to hear his voice…  _ needed _ it. But the cost… would it be ok? Taking a deep, calming breath he sent off another text message. ‘I… can but this phone only has a bit of credit.. i cant be long.’

He let that settle for a moment, hoping Marco had a chance to read it before he shakily punched in Marco’s number under the call function and pressed it to his ear, he vaguely wondered if he’d even be able to hear the other man over the buzzing in his ears. He waited with baited breath as the line beeped before connecting, the sound of ringing seeming to echo out of the handset and Jean pressed the heel of his free palm to one of his eyes to try and stop the flow of tears.

Staring at his phone through watery eyes, Marco jumped slightly when the message popped up on his screen. He rubbed at his eyes fiercely to try to focus on the screen, only barely making out the words. Credit. So Jean had managed to get a phone from somewhere. He hadn't been sure if Jean was just borrowing someone else's. But god if he could at least hear the other man's  _ voice _ .

When the call popped up on his screen moments later, he scrambled to unlock it. Letting out a shaky and teary sigh, he hoped his words didn't sound too teary but he knew that was probably a pointless thing to hope for. "Jean… Oh my god… I… I… I miss you so much." He stopped himself from asking again if the teen was okay. Marco didn't think he could handle hearing an answer like that from Jean's voice. He wasn't sure if he'd ever stop crying if he did.

When the ringing stopped, Jean thought his heart was going to choke him from pounding so hard in his throat. When Marco  _ spoke, _ Jean sobbed, tried to say the other man’s name and then just dissolved into a sort of wailing crying as relief and pain and longing and joy and all sorts of mixed emotions that had no business mingling together did so within him.

He gasped as he tried to get control of himself, this was  _ not _ how he wanted to spend his few precious moments talking to the other man. “M-Marco-ooo euuhhh” He said the other man’s name then burst out crying with another ugly noise and he rubbed at his eyes harshly. “‘M ss-sorry…. m’so sorrhy…” Jean hugged his knees tighter to his body and cradled the phone to his ear hard. “I- m-miss yooouuh…”

" _ Jean… _ " Just when he thought he couldn't hurt any worse, Marco's heart broke a thousand different ways at the way Jean sobbed his name. He started crying in earnest, breath hitching on soft sobs as he tried to stay quiet, his sounds echoing in the small room. He didn't need anyone knocking on the door asking why he was crying in a bathroom. Not when he didn't even know how much time he would have.

It was a struggle to stay coherent through his own tears as he listened to the way Jean stumbled and sniffled. "I kn-know, angel… I know. D-don't be sorry… My-my f-fault… I'm  _ so… so _ s-sorry… God I'm sor-sorry… It's so g-good to hear your v-voice… Been wo-worried si-ick… Mi-miss y-you…" He only barely stopped himself from sobbing out a broken 'I love you', the words that had been on his mind for weeks. Not now. Not like this. Maybe if they were ever together again. If they made it through this somehow. If Jean even wanted to. God this was all Marco's fault. If he hadn't been so careless, they wouldn't be in this situation. Marco tried to choke down his guilt on another broken sob. He could go back to beating himself up later. For now he just wanted to hear from the younger man for as long as he could, pressing his phone tight to his ear.

Jean listened to Marco crying and that just made his own tears fall even harder. Hearing the older man cry was such a shock to Jean’s system, Marco had seen Jean cry many times before - both through pleasure and that first disastrous meeting but Jean hearing  _ Marco _ breaking down made him feel all messed up inside. If that was even possible. He wanted to  grab Marco and hug him and never let go and tell him it was all ok, he wanted to protect the other man and covet him and monopolise him and  _ fuck _ he just wanted Marco.

“O-oh god...d-don’t… I can’t… Marco… d-don’t worry about me, I’m.. I’m ok…” He lied, he wasn’t ok, he’d said as much in the text message earlier. “S-so please don’t cry … like that…I can’t stand t-that you’re hu-rting… it’s my fault… honest… s-so… she won't do anything to you. I promise.” He sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve, uncaring of the mess the action left on his uniform.

Marco sobbed quietly, trying to calm himself down enough to be coherent. The lie in Jean's voice was obvious. "B-bullshit. Y-you're no-not okay and I'm n-not okay and it fuc-king  _ h-hurts _ and I mi-miss you." His voice was broken when he spoke again, trying hard to get his words out and not break into hysterics again. "I couldn't… stop worrying about you… if m-my life depended on it… So  _ so _ wo-worried ab-bout you… Not y-your fault, angel… I sh-should've been more c-careful… M'so  _ sorry _ … God I… I d-don't wanna l-lose you… N-not like thi-is. P-please god not l-like this…" The thought of losing Jean stung like acid in his heart.

Breaking down again, Marco tried to stifle his sobs behind his hand but it only made him huff in short breaths of air as he struggled to breathe, giving up and letting himself cry. What were they now? Was this the end of their 'us'? Could they even think about considering themselves 'together' under these circumstances? Would Jean even want to? Surely he could just find someone else… Yes, Jean had been okay with the idea of sneaking around together until he turned 18 but… this? Pining and hurting and what? Getting by on sporadic texts and maybe a few short calls? Jean just outwardly defying his mother when his birthday came? Risking getting kicked out or worse? His mother potentially coming after Marco for 'corrupting' her child or something? There was no way Jean would want to do something like that, right? He couldn't blame him but… The idea still had more tears falling down Marco's cheeks as he spoke in a breathy whisper. "I don't wanna lose you…"

Jean bit down on his lip to muffle his own sobs as he listened to Marco speaking, his heart broke even more if that was possible and he was sure he’d never even imagined it could be like this when you fell in love. He shook his head violently in denial when Marco said he didn’t want to lose him, as if Jean could let go just like that. As if he suddenly felt this was ended. He didn’t feel that at  _ all _ and that’s why it hurt so much more.

“D-don’t leave me… I-I need you Marco…” His voice trembled on his words breath hitching a few times. “W-when I’m 18… I… I’ll tell her. S-she can’t do anything when I'm 18… s-she can’t… she can’t..” He repeated it as if doing so would make it true, as if it would make him strong enough to confront her and tell her that’s the way it was and she’d have to suck it up. But even now he felt the cold well of fear bubbling within him because she was  _ cruel _ and it  _ hurt. _ “I-I’m… so … lonely….” He admitted quietly, voice cracking around the words brokenly.

"I… I won't." Marco shook his head firmly, sniffling and wiping at his tears with the palm of his hand. "I'm n-not going anywh-where. It… It'll be okay." He wasn't sure which of them he was trying harder to convince. But Marco, at least, wasn't in the slightest convinced. Would it be okay? Would Jean's birthday come and go with no change? Would they be able to maintain any connection with that little contact?

The way Jean brokenly admitted to being lonely physically ached in his chest. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to be able to wrap the younger man up in his arms and whisper reassurances to him. But all he could do was offer a meek sniffle and his words. "We'll… we'll get through this, okay? J-just t-text me when you can… O-or call me but… I don't want you to r-run out of credit… So text… text is okay. And we'll… we'll get through this. It's just… just a few weeks, right? N-no big deal." He forced a small laugh that wound up sounding more like a dying huff and sighed, his worries about Jean seeping to the surface again. "Just… just hang in there, okay? Please… I… I care about you  _ so _ much…"

Jean felt only a small sense of relief and reassurance when Marco said he wouldn’t leave him. Not because he didn’t trust or believe in the other man, but because even if Marco  _ didn’t _ break up with him… would Jean really be able to do what he wanted when he was 18? Sniffling again Jean nodded at Marco’s words and then remembered he couldn’t be seen.

“Y-yeah… I’ll text… Only when I’m at school though. I-if she finds it I….” Jean paused for a moment before whispering barely audibly. “I’m scared…” He felt like a lead weight dropped as he admitted that, that was  _ not cool.  _ Whining about you parents, saying you were scared, and as a  _ guy _ Jean shouldn’t really admit that sort of thing right? He’d always been told as much. “I- I mean… I’ll be ok. I’m ok. I like you s-so much too.. I … I’m so full up with the feelings Marco.”  _ I’m drowning. _ In the background the school bell signalling classes starting rang but Jean didn’t move, even with the clawing thoughts about his credit limit gnawing at him he didn’t think he could hang up.

Marco gnawed at his lip during the short silence before Jean spoke again. He felt a slight relief at the idea that he'd be able to hear from Jean again but also a nagging panic at how scared the teen was and how much risk the other would be taking just to talk to him. As far as he was concerned, the younger man should never have had to suffer like this. What kind of  _ decent _ parent put their kid through this much obvious anguish. He  _ knew _ Jean had no poker face so it wasn't like his mother could be unaware of how much he was suffering. No, it could only mean she didn't  _ care _ , walling herself behind some bullshit 'mother knows best' crap that she would claim was 'in Jean's best interest'. Marco knew the type, fists clenching.

Letting out a long, slow breath, Marco heard the bell distantly in the background. School. His gut lurched. That was the sound of Jean's  _ school _ bell. His _underage_ boyfriend, Jean, who was still in _school_. He choked slightly before giving a sigh, speaking without stopping to overthink it, trusting his gut. "Jean… It's  _ okay _ to be scared. And it's  _ okay _ to not be okay right now. But hang in there. F-for me, okay? Now… Get to class, okay? I… I have to get back to rehearsing." Jean was in enough trouble and Marco couldn't stand the thought of him getting in more trouble because of him. Marco hesitated before adding onto his words. "I'll… I'll talk to you soon." Both a prayer and a promise.

Jean clung to Marco’s words like a lifeline because it’s what he  _ needed _ right now. He could latch onto those words and use them against the urges to fuck himself up that were so strong recently, the urges to cut and burn and starve… ok he wasn’t doing so well on the last one, but that was because he wasn’t  _ hungry _ . What a waste to eat a load of stuff just to puke it back up less than an hour later. It didn’t matter than his clothes fit him even less than before, it didn’t matter than he felt like he was either dizzy or unbelievably tired, he was still drinking a ton of water after all. And energy drink.

“Mnh… Y-yeah… ok. yeah.. I should, you should… Marco… I L…” A sigh, trembling and cracked. “I’ll talk to you soon.” And then he paused, not sure if he could bear hanging up still, but then the sound of the door to the roof echoed around him and Connie’s voice called his name and Jean hung up with fumbling fingers because he didn’t want Connie to hear Marco or see him using the phone or  _ anything _ because this moment was  _ Jean’s  _ and he didn’t want to share it.

Marco was about to say something else when he heard the at the sudden sound of someone calling for Jean distantly and then the phone hanging up. He let out a long, slow huff, looking at his phone for a long moment as if it could communicate the message for him, whispering at it brokenly. "...I love you."

Wiping at his face harshly, Marco stood and washed his face in the sink, wiping away tracks of tears. His eyes were red, his cheeks puffy, and he generally looked like hell. But he couldn't care less, the slightest traces of hope glinting through in his eyes when he looked at his reflection. This was the best day he'd had in weeks. There weren't any guarantees but… maybe, just maybe, they could get through this. Just for a few weeks. Marco let out a shaky but determined sigh before heading back to his group, his day, his  _ life _ , aching for when Jean could be a part of that life again. Properly,  _ fully _ .

They could do this. ...Maybe if Marco told himself that often enough, he'd start to actually believe it. He realized belatedly that he should  _ probably _ have warned Jean to not get the CD. But… if Jean had to be so sneaky about something like a  _ phone _ then surely he wouldn't even be able to get his hands on it, right? He didn't exactly think those were the kinds of things Jean needed to be listening to right now. They both needed to try to hold themselves together.

Jean went to class with his face still a mess and was promptly told to go to the nurse's office by his teacher, so he did. He washed his face and took some painkillers and  _ slept _ because he had hardly been doing that recently. He slept through two periods before going back to class and being suddenly jumped on by Connie and that girl he liked. What was her name? Sasha? Yeah, that. They brandished a CD in his face and Jean frowned for a moment before he felt his stomach drop out.  _ Marco _ ’s CD.

Apparently Sasha had bought it for Jean… This girl he hardly knew but was quickly growing fond of because she’d  _ bought him his boyfriend's CD. _ Not that she knew he was Jean’s boyfriend, hell even Connie didn’t know that. But what the boy did know is Jean’s utter adoration of Marco’s group and Marco in particular and he’d thought this would cheer him up? Jean hugged them both and broke down  _ again _ and ended up having to wash his face for the third time that day.

He’d listened to the CD when he got home, sneaking it in tucked in his underwear and waiting until his mother had left and locked him inside the apartment before putting it into his laptop - no internet or so she  _ thought. _ He pressed play and spent the next hour or so in tears because it  _ hurt _ , how dare that freckled bastard sing this stuff and the CD come out at this point in time. “F-fuck… I love you so much..” Jean sobbed into his empty bedroom, saying it aloud for the first time and feeling his heart throb.

The next day when he was in school he sent a text to Marco. ‘I hate your new album…’ Then sort of flailed before sending another as quickly as he could, though it was still quite slow with the clicking of the buttons. ‘It hurts! You sound so fucking beautiful but it hurts!’

Marco had felt such a sense of relief and absurd  _ hope _ after talking to Jean. The next day he was even able to manage almost his usual level of flirtatious smiles and cheeky flirting comments for the--mostly female--group that had gathered for his signing. Much to his manager's relief, he was sure, if the approving nod he'd gotten was anything to go by. Marco tried to not think about the content of the CD that he'd signed countless numbers of that morning, still praying Jean didn't get ahold of it. The timing couldn't have been worse for the release.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and then again a short while later. Marco tried to not tap his foot impatiently as he continued on with his routine. But his relief when they were finally done a half hour later was palpable. At least until he opened the messages and choked on his own throat.  _ Fuck _ . 'Sorry!! Meant to warn you. Didn't think you'd have it yet? Bad timing. :( Sorry. <3' Marco stared at the little heart emoji for a few long minutes, debating whether to send it before finally slamming his thumb down on the little button before he could back out, fingers trembling slightly. It was just an emoji. And yet it felt  _ significant _ . Weighty.

Jean had the phone in his pocket throughout the lessons that morning, waiting for it to vibrate because it was taking far too damn long! He knew Marco worked, he  _ knew _ but Jean finally had a way to contact the other man and it still wasn’t enough. It was better than nothing though. Finally he got a reply and  _ luckily _ it was lunch break, so Jean went to the old building that no one really liked to be in unless they had a class there and locked himself in one of the toilet stalls.

Jean read the message three times before he managed to stop his heart hammering in his chest because of an emoji. That’s all it was right? A little arrow and a three but it meant  _ more _ to Jean and he wished it meant that much to Marco too. ‘Connies gf got it to cheer me up… I was serious when I said I was a fan of you for ages..’ Jean sent the message after debating whether to put a heart on it or not, deciding against it in case Marco somehow thought it odd. But then again the other man had sent one to  _ him _ first… ‘I’m sorry...its beautiful really u know <3<3’ He sent it with a tense sigh and crouched with his back leaning against the flimsy stall wall as he awaited Marco’s reply.

Marco was stuck in the back room while the crowd of girls dissipated. He'd long since learned better than trying to leave right away. Far too many overeager fondlings by girls of questionable age had hammered that lesson into him. Thankfully their attention span was usually short and waiting around for half an hour killing time on his phone usually did the trick.

Jumping slightly when his phone buzzed in his hands, Marco paused the game he'd been wasting time with to pull the reply up. He rolled his eyes with a small smile. As if he hadn't already known that from the giant poster he knew was on the teen's wall. Still, it was good to see some evidence of Jean socializing and having some degree of friendships. He was about to reply when the second message came through. Marco's heart fluttered absurdly in his chest at the two little hearts and the compliment. He  _ knew _ Jean apparently liked his voice but to get a direct compliment on it like that was… novel and had him turning red. He stared at it for a while before managing to get his fingers to type out a reply. 'Thanks <3 that means a lot. Sorry it upset you tho.'

Jean smiled,  _ actually smiled _ for the first time in a long time when he hadn’t been crying moments before or groped at by Connie trying to tickle him. Marco was… cute… somehow just seeing the hearts in the messages was adorable and Jean pressed the cold face of the phone against his forehead. ‘It’s ok u just have to make it up to me when we see each other next… ok? x’ This time a kiss instead of a heart and as he pressed send Jean groaned at how much he missed those kisses from the other man.

Jean pressed his index and middle fingers to his lips and stroked against them for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to remember the sensation but coming up blank - much to his disappointment. It wasn’t the  _ same _ . ‘I miss kissing u… feeling u. I want a hug :( x’ There was only one day left of Feburary… then another month and seven days and he didn’t know how long he could hold out.

Marco waited anxiously to see if he would get another message as he got his things together to head home. He didn't exactly know Jean's schedule or when he would be in class, the next message could be soon or not for hours or not until the next day, that much he knew. His heart lurched at the words before plummeting through the bottom of his stomach at the harsh reminder he wouldn't see his boyfriend for a while still. It was only a few weeks but it felt like a very long time. He was still staring at it trying to figure out how to reply when the second message came through.

Sighing softly, Marco slumped against a wall. 'I know. I miss you too. Soon tho yea? xoxo' Marco felt a little childish with the little symbols, a blush threatening his cheeks. He bit it down, shoving his phone into his pocket and heading home. He needed to do something else to distract himself from the sadness that was quickly returning. A few little texts were something at least but they weren't nearly enough. Not compared to the rapid pictures and exchanges they'd had before this… unfortunate setback. He  _ missed _ Jean's digital presence in his evenings and he knew he was only going to start missing his in-person presence even more.

‘Soon… x<3x’ Jean sent the message and sighed as the bell rang, going back to class and finishing his day. When he got home he waited until his mother was out before putting the CD on - easily blending in with the others he owned by now - and listened to Marco singing until he fell asleep.

Over the next two weeks he and Marco had texted as much as possible in the time Jean was at school but it was nowhere near enough and Jean was pining. It was still painful, but it wasn’t the festering open wound it had been before they’d gotten back into contact - the words his mother had said though, were still very much raw and painful and she would pick at the scabs forming every single day with her glances and her dismissive words and locking him in the apartment at night after taking his keys. Jean had listened to Marco’s new CD countless times and finally ended up doing a cover of one of the more poignant songs, one that seemed to fit the  _ real _ circumstances… one that seemed to convey his feelings so well.

His voice was soft but raw in the cover, slightly breathy where he hardly had the energy to sing the whole thing so passionately and he uploaded it - using his neighbor's wifi sneakily - without any comment. Only the title and his name, crediting Marco of course. Jean was glad that the apartments were relatively sound proofed, and that his mother went out every night. He didn’t tell Marco he’d uploaded it until three days later. ‘... theres something.. on my nico…xx’ was all he sent quickly before the first lesson started.

Marco's schedule had been chaotic for those two weeks, a month-long series of regional performances having his group on busses traveling or nailing down last-minute dry-runs on unfamiliar stages more often than not. He kept his phone close, responding to each message he got as soon as he got it. Checking his phone obsessively during the day had become something of a compulsion, never wanting to risk missing a chance to talk, however briefly, to Jean. He'd decided to skip out on a breakfast with the rest of his group in favour of having some peace and quiet to himself in the hotel room when his phone buzzed. Marco pulled up the message and frowned curiously.

A few minutes later and he'd managed to drag out his headphones and tablet, pulling up the hotel's internet and loading Jean's page. He looked at the most recent video, noticing that it had been uploaded three days before. Why had Jean waited to tell him about this? That was when he noticed the title. It was… from his CD. It was one of the more poignant pieces on the album too. Marco glanced towards the door, settling his headphones a bit tighter against his ears before tapping the little arrow to play it.

Marco let his eyes slip shut, listening to the raw but gentle tone in Jean's voice. It made his heart bubble up with far too many feelings at once to hear his boyfriend singing this song. The lyrics were essentially about how important someone was to them and a love confession. But hearing those words in the other man's voice made Marco start crying softly. But there was a smile on his face as well. Sure it was just song lyrics but… Jean hadn't put a description or any silly comments like he usually did. It was just the video and its details. Marco repeated the song when it ended, clutching his tablet close as he mouthed along the familiar words. When it ended, he turned his phone around in his hands several times, staring at it. He hesitated before typing out his message and hitting send. 'That was soooo beautiful. <3 I'm crying now though haha. ...Also I'm in love with you. ...Jsyk. xx' Marco watched as the little 'sending' under the message turned to 'sent' and let out a long breath. What was done was done.

Partway into the lesson Jean felt his phone vibrate against his thigh but he dared not look at it in class and risk having it confiscated. So he spent the lesson fidgeting and wiggling his legs as his knee bounced up and down with impatient, nervous energy because for fucks sake the class took too long and he knew all this stuff already. When the class finished and it was time to switch rooms, Jean got up quickly and left the room, giving Connie a quick excuse of having a stomach ache and asking the boy to tell the teacher he was in the bathroom or something.

Jean headed to the older, less used building again and snuck up to the top of the stairway leading to the roof. There was a small concealed landing there and Jean pressed himself between an old filing cabinet and the wall as he read the text Marco sent him and dropped the phone in shock, fingers numb from the sudden brick wall of feelings that hit him. Marco  _ loved _ him, Marco was  _ in love _ with him. Like actually in love and not just ‘I like you’ and Jean felt both sick and elated and he was crying again wasn’t he?

Picking up the phone shakily he nestled into the corner more and sent a text to the other man. ‘Can I call u? do you have time?’ He sent it hastily, face hot and red and wet with tears as he couldn’t stop his lips from slitting in the biggest smile he’d had in a long time.

After a few anxious minutes without a reply, Marco had gone back to replay the song, leaning back against the headboard with his knees bent, tablet resting gently against his chest and phone set on top of his knees. He knew Jean was probably in classes and tried to not worry too much about what the other man would say in response to his text. Was… it okay for him to have said that? Was there a chance of Jean reacting negatively? He distracted and reassured himself with the tone in Jean's voice and the melody of the song.

The unexpected buzz of his phone against his knee made Marco jump and jolt in a motion that was one part flinging his tablet away and one part clutching it closer desperately. Marco read the message quickly and glanced from the door to the clock. He probably had an hour or so before anyone would be expecting him anywhere. He didn't bother to reply, instead just hitting the call button within seconds of reading the message and anxiously listening to the sound of it ringing.

Jean didn’t have to wait long, the phone began vibrating and he gasped and tried to calm himself down as he answered the phone but all he could do as soon as it connected was blurt out the words that had been plaguing him for weeks. “I love you!” He sounded slightly out of breath but it was only due to the situation, nerves and happiness and longing.

“S-sorry.. I .. Marco I love you so much.. d’you m-mean.. it?” He asked, his voice going from over eager to hesitant and he was glad that the classes were held at the other end of the building because he didn’t want anyone to overhear him.

Marco jolted slightly at the sudden breathless half-shout coming from the other end of the phone. It sounded so  _ good _ to hear those words from Jean's mouth. And then the younger man said it again so much more hesitant. Marco couldn't help the small happy laugh that bubbled out of him. He tipped his head back, blinking hard to hold back tears.

"Of course I mean it. I love you. You mean so much to me and it's terrifying but wonderful and I'm in love with you and… I love you." Another absurd overwhelmed little laugh escaped from his throat and he dragged a hand down his grinning face in a relieved gesture. It was absurd,  _ they _ were absurd. But if being absurd felt this genuinely good then he was fine with that. "God I… it feels so good to  _ finally _ say that. I love you, Jean." He'd been choking down the words either in anguish or in relieved exhilaration for weeks. Since the night when everything had gone to hell. He'd been so scared that night that he'd never get to say it to Jean directly and then it had almost slipped out multiple times since they'd been back in contact but now… Now it felt almost surreal after waiting so long to say it.

Jean loved that sound, Marco’s laugh was like warm sunlight and he basked in it as he listened to the other man tell him that he  _ did _ love him, said it three times. “A-ah..” Jean made a sort of wobbly noise of acknowledgement before he sniffed and then let out a happy sob. “I l-love you… Marco I love you too.” Jean couldn’t stop saying it once he’d started, finally biting down on his lip to stifle the words because otherwise he’d never stop and that was  _ fine  _ but he wanted to hear _ Marco  _ speak, he missed his voice.

Jean also had to try and figure out why hearing those words made his dick start responding, they were  _ not  _ sexual words - at least not right now - and yet his body seemed to be flooded with so much relief  _ finally _ that it had decided that now was the perfect time to wake up after weeks of basically being impotent. Jean muttered under his breath about stupid dicks and then sincerely hoped Marco didn’t hear it so he spoke properly. “S-So! M-Marco! I… miss you… miss your voice… I love you... “ He spoke softly, hoping he sounded normal, hoping Marco could feel the sincerity in his words despite Jean’s hormones reawakening - seriously, is this all it took to fix  the issue? It felt both like he was sullying the confession and yet it was so fucking like his body.

Marco all but melted as Jean said he loved him multiple times, more ecstatic laughs bubbling out of him. He was sure he could listen to those words for hours and not get sick of them. He felt relief and exhilaration and a significant surge in confidence over the future of their relationship. He loved Jean and Jean loved him. It was good. It was right. Things were hard now but they'd get through it. Together.

"Uhm…" Marco blinked when Jean was suddenly muttering something about 'stupid dicks' that he couldn't quite make out, brow furrowing slightly. "...I miss you too but… Who's a stupid dick? Everything okay?" Jean surely couldn't be talking about him, obviously. No one told someone they loved them and then called them a dick. Not even someone as socially awkward as Jean. So… was someone else annoying him?

When Marco questioned him about  _ who _ was a stupid dick Jean couldn’t help the horrified laugh that bubbled out of him. Horrified that Marco had heard him and yet so very amused at how  _ wrong _ the other man had been in his assumption that it was about people. Feeling his face go bright red Jean took a deep breath and came clean. “N-no one. I’m alone it’s just… um.. I meant… mine..” He said quietly, holding the phone in a sweaty grip.

“I-I’m sorry! I swear I’m not being a pervert or making light of the situation you have no idea how amazing I feel right now this is amazing. It all means so much and it’s so great b-but my dicks kinda..uhm.. what I mean is uh.. fuck..” He scraped a hand back through his hair, rambling in his embarrassed state. “I- It hasn’t even twitched since valentines d-day and uhm.. I mean I’ve been so stressed and just.. you love me and it’s such a relief and I can hear you and I can talk to you and it’s gonna be  _ ok _ and my body… decided to celebrate … I guess..” Jean wheezed a little bit but it was nothing to do with his asthma, lapsing into silence after his outburst.

Marco's frown deepened when Jean said he was alone. Then who-- _ oh _ . Marco could feel his face flush with the rush of heat through him. He gave a shaky laugh. "O-oh… Well that's… I see." Marco couldn't help thinking of Jean, curled up in some out-of-the-way spot so he could talk freely enough to talk about his  _ dick _ , sitting there with a boner. Which of course just lead to Marco thinking about Jean's dick. Which also made him realize he hadn't thought about Jean's dick--or really sex at all--since valentine's day in any other context than feeling miserable and guilty about it during the time they'd been out of contact. He startled slightly at the realization, brows rising slightly.

But now that the topic  _ had _ been brought up… Marco felt a small spark of something familiar, wanting to make the teen squirm just a little bit. He licked his lips slightly. "So… you're telling me… You're holed up in some hidden little spot to talk to me… In school… And you've got a boner? You've got a boner in school?  _ Shameless _ ." He said the last word in an exaggerated mock-scandalized tone. "...What are you gonna  _ do _ about that… little problem?"

Jean ducked his head as if Marco were actually there with him to see his expression as the other man gave a small laugh and seemed to not know what to say. Why the hell would he when Jean suddenly sprung that on him after a sappy love confession. But then Marco started to speak again and Jean felt his embarrassment intensifying at the words, covering his mouth with his free and to muffle his sound of mortification for a moment.

“I-I… whose fault do you think this is?” He was pouting, it was even clear in his voice but he didn’t care. “I’ll just.. s-sit here until it goes away…” Jean said in answer, glancing down at his crotch and how the uniform pants hugged the very obvious tent there and Jean couldn’t stop the small groan escaping him as he hung his head. “Ugh… it’s not fair. W-why is it always  _ my _ dick misbehaving.” another pout.

Marco bit down a laugh at the mortified little noise that he could just barely hear. He could easily picture the look on the teen's face and the way his cheeks would be tinted so wonderfully pink and it made him grin in satisfaction. He snorted at Jean's answer about 'just sitting there' before giving a small contemplative hum. He wondered just how much he could get away with teasing Jean. He knew he  _ shouldn't _ . Jean was in  _ school _ and Marco was considering teasing him about his inopportune boner.

But… thinking about this too much had Marco's blood racing distinctly southwards. There wasn't any harm in teasing him, right? And Jean could always just tell him off. He gave a small, dark chuckle and dropped his tone to a purr and palming himself slightly as he spoke, letting his head fall back against the headboard of the bed again. " _ Misbehaving _ ? I dunno… I think your dick behaves  _ wonderfully _ . Certainly seemed to anytime I had it in my mouth anyway… Or my hand… Always so…  _ responsive _ . Can't really fault it for that, can you? Not when you've got that little pout on your face with those pretty cocksucking lips of yours, angel…"

Jean heard the older man's snort and the hum… That noise usually meant something humiliating was about to happen and Jean squinted his eyes suspiciously for a moment until Marco spoke. Yep, there it was. That tone of voice that meant Marco was aroused or trying to arouse Jean and it  _ always _ fucking worked and it wasn’t fair because Jean was already hard.

The teen groaned at Marco’s speech about using his mouth or hand and how he knew Jean was pouting and had  _ pretty cocksucking lips _ and Jean couldn’t stop the moan that fell from his lips as his hips thrust upwards ever so slightly into nothing but air. “M-Marco..  that’s… that’s not  _ fair _ …” He said as he closed his eyes and let his own head fall back with a soft thunk against the wall, cock twitching with each beat of his racing heart. “I- I wanna suck you off… Marco I miss your cock so much.” Jean’s breath was slightly heavier now, his free hand slipping to his lower stomach where he grabbed a fistful of his sweater just above the bulge in his pants. “I-I’m so hard it’s not funny- I-it’ feels  _ wet _ in there… h-how am I supposed to go back like this.” He spoke in a whine tinged with heady lust as he let his legs bend at the knees and fall outwards. “I’d show you but… I.. I dun have a camera…”

Marco let out a shaky breath, giving himself a slight squeeze at the sound of Jean's moan as he shut his eyes. Oh he missed that sound. He shuddered slightly at the other man's words about sucking him off, he could easily picture those lips wrapped around his cock, the moist heat of Jean's mouth, the way he sucked at the head of Marco's dick. He heard the change in Jean's breath easily with his eyes closed, imagining the way his boyfriend must have looked right then. The images were vivid in his mind's eye.

Marco gave himself another squeeze, giving a quiet moan before he spoke. "Mmh… well you could always  _ take care of it _ before you go back… And if you can't  _ show _ me… You can always  _ tell _ me…" Marco gave a small purr. "Tell me about how hard that lovely cock of yours is… Just aching for you to touch it, isn't it… Straining at your pants with such a nice firm tent… Leaking all over yourself and making a mess, aren't you? So why don't you just… give yourself a hand? Touch that pretty cock for me… You want to, don't you? Mmh, but getting off in school, naughty thing… Maybe you're too much of a good little nerd for that?" The wicked smirk was clear in his tone. He slipped his hand under his pants and underwear slowly, stroking at himself with a gentle groan. He  _ really _ shouldn't have been teasing Jean like that but he  _ knew _ it would get a reaction and the temptation was just too strong. He wanted to make the teen squirm for him, whatever it took. And it wasn't like they could when Jean was at  _ home _ … Jean was very understandably paranoid about using this phone at home and Marco couldn't blame him.

Jean shuddered when Marco told him he could take care of it first, as if it was normal to do that where Jean was but  _ oh _ something about it seemed so very thrilling and Jean gasped and glanced up towards the ceiling. “M-Marco…” He breathed the other man’s name out and then groaned, unable to help dropping his hand the rest of the way to his dick and squeezing it hard through his uniform pants. “I-... I’m anything but a g-good boy… Marco…” Jean chewed on his lip and rolled his pelvis into his pressing palm.

“Don’t you… remember how I moved against you at the club… in front of all those people, sucked your cock…” He was all but panting now, unzipping his trousers and shoving them down off of his hips so they didn’t get dirty. “You’re doin’ it too a-aren't you… you sound so good Marco…” Jean’s voice held the usual quiver of embarrassment but he was far too pent up to actually hesitate for too long as he usually would. “Mnn…. m-my underwear’s all wet…” Jean chewed his lip as he pulled them down off of his erection with a soft hiss and a cracked groan at the cool air hitting his heated skin. “H-hey… tell me.. what to do…”

"Mnh… That's true…" Marco purred his words as he heard the soft sound of a zipper and the rustle of fabric. A triumphant grin settled onto his features as he gave a little groan. This was… terrible. But it had him so horribly hard. He gave himself a few slow strokes inside his pants. "Of course… How could I resist touching myself when I know that lovely cock of yours is so hard for me… You're always such a mess… Leaking all over for me…"

Marco groaned in response to the sound of Jean's groan, pinching his phone between his ear and his shoulder for a moment to slip his own pants and underwear down to mid-thigh. He gave himself a few firmer strokes, stifling a soft moan at the sensation. "Mnn… Talk to me… Touch yourself for me… Tell me what you're doing to yourself… God I wish I could just fucking suck you off right now… Run my tongue all over you…" Marco rolled his hips into his hand slightly with another groan.

“O-oh god…” Jean wrapped his hand around his cock as Marco spoke again, gasping at the other man’s sounds of pleasure as Jean started to pump his fist, squeezing himself with a shuddering groan. “Ha- I… I’m rubbing- ngh..” Jean made a highly embarrassed noise as he tried to talk the other man through his actions, it was more humiliating than he thought and that just seemed to make him even harder.

“I want y-your mouth… wanna fuck your m-mouth Marco...ouh..ah..” Jean slipped down a bit, until his head and shoulders were all that was resting against the wall as he pressed his feet to the floor and started to thrust into his hand, drawing out long panting moans. “Ah-! M-marco.. I’m.. thrusting into..my hand.. uh.. fuck.. s’wet… s-slick… oh god it feels so good ..Marco!” Jean muffled another moan as he felt pre-cum ooze out of him even more, his length slick with it and making lewd noises he was sure Marco would hear over the phone, but he was too far gone to care.

“F- _ fuck _ … it’s been.. so long since I.. oh god it feels so good… hot.. Marco… wanna.. I wanna cum so bad… already I.. can’t! Hnh!” Jean’s legs trembled as he moved his hips, lower body tense with the motions, balls tight and hard as he gasped around every laboured breath. “P-please…”

Marco gave a moan in return at the sounds coming through the phone. He loved the embarrassed noises that Jean made, stroking himself harder and firmer in response. He shuddered slightly, picturing how desperate he must look to make all those noises without any concern. Marco licked his lips slightly, picturing the taste of Jean's cock and how much he always leaked.

"That's it… Stroke that lovely cock for me…" Marco shuddered, stroking himself harder and bucking into his hand slightly. He whined softly, eyes pinching shut harder.  _ Fuck _ he was close already after having not gotten off in so long. But he was  _ damn _ sure he was going to get Jean to cum first. Marco bit his lip for a moment before giving a small purr. "Mnh… Leaking all over, aren't you? Such a fucking mess… Just listen to you… Sound so good, so  _ needy _ . You gonna cum for me, Jean?  _ Do it _ . Cum for me, angel. Come on."

Jean was so close that it almost bought him tears, opening his eyes to stare at the small landing before him in-case someone came up - though he doubted they would - moaning against the mouthpiece of the phone as he held it between his shoulder and head. The hand that had been holding it moved down to cup the head of his cock as the other hand circled it and he thrust into them. “M-marco.. Marco-oh.. fuck.. oh … love you.. I miss you… so...mn.. gunna c-cum… I’m..c-cumming ah!”  

Jean grit his teeth to muffle the loud cry he made as he came hard into his waiting hand, pelvis jerking and mind going blank as he rode out each violent wave before sagging and gasping for breath. He wasn’t usually this noisy when he masturbated, not by a long shot, but apparently even though he was only on the end of a phone and not physically there Marco drew out so much pleasure in him that it left Jean reeling. The teen was still trying to catch his breath as he fumbled around in his blazer pocket for some tissue - the only good thing about him crying so much was that he now had a supply in his pockets at all times . Jean wiped his dirty hand off and pulled his briefs back up before sitting there drowsily, arms and legs feeling shaky because he hadn’t eaten enough to sustain such levels of ‘activity’ without leaving him unbelievably exerted.

The sound Jean made when he came was enough to push Marco over the edge. "Oh  _ fuck _ , Jean! Ngh!" He brought his free hand back down to cup the head of his dick quickly, hips jerking into his movements. He didn't particularly want to have to deal with any comments should anyone in his group notice the sheets. Marco trembled and shuddered as his orgasm washed through him, biting his lip hard to stifle the loud moan that threatened to break free.

"Fuck… Well, that was fun." Marco gave a breathless little laugh as he fell limp to the bed. He definitely hadn't been expecting his day to go like this, but he wasn't complaining. He kept his dirty hand cupped carefully as he tugged his clothes back up one-handed, phone pinned between his head and shoulder, before sagging back down. Shakily, Marco stood and trudged to the bathroom, rinsing off his hands quickly before holding his phone properly again. That had been a  _ much _ needed experience but… Marco hadn't realized how much he missed having Jean's warmth near him. He pouted slightly at the realization before sighing audibly. "Fuck, I miss you. I'm eating up all your minutes though, aren't I?"

Jean listened to Marco without talking again for a while, lazily tugging his pants back up after dropping the dirty tissues to the floor to pick up and bin when he moved. “Mmm…” Was Jean’s reply to it being fun, his eyes closed as he fastened his pants and struggled to sit back up again. He couldn’t help the soft, tired laugh at Marco’s comment about his minutes.

“Marco.. you’re the one who called me. Dork.” He teased in a breathy voice. “I miss you too though. How can a couple of months feel like years.” He sighed and pouted again, furrowing his brow in frustration because whilst that had been an extremely good experience for Jean it still wasn’t  _ enough _ , not when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the other man and hold him tight. He missed everything about the other man not just the sex but the warmth and his smell and the way his voice sounded  _ in person _ because there was a weird tinny quality over the phone, he missed Marcos eyes and the depth to them, he missed his freckles and his kisses and even the teasing. Jean felt his eyes well up but he sniffed in a shuddering breath to calm himself. He was  _ not _ going to cry again.

"Right! Right. Sorry." Marco gave an embarrassed laugh, scratching at the side of his head as he flopped back onto the bed. "I know what you mean though… It really sucks." He sighed again, deflating a bit. He was glad to be able to talk to Jean again at least. But he missed his  _ presence _ in his life. From the awkward little looks he'd get when he was embarrassed to his smile to his eyes.  _ Fuck _ it was sappy but he missed the life in the teen's eyes. But even when he wasn't around in-person, he'd still had a presence in everything from the snaps to the idle texts in the evenings. And that was gone too. A few texts during the day and a phone call or two were nothing. It felt like he was getting by on bread and water; sure it could sustain him for a while but it wasn't  _ enough _ by any means. He wondered briefly if it would be weird if he bought Jean a phone for his birthday. One that he wouldn't have to worry about hiding or his mother doing anything to.

He heard the tremble in Jean's breath and stiffened, wishing so badly he could just pull him into a hug. He was sure they'd both cried more than their fair share over this whole situation and it broke his heart to hear the younger man hurting so blatantly. "Shh, shh, it's okay though. We'll get there. It'll go by in no time at all, you'll see." Marco's words sounded more like a wish than a statement even to his own ears. He bit at his lip for a moment. "It'll be okay. ...I love you, okay? We'll get there. And hey… I guess we'll just have to make up for lost time then, right?" A flirty lilt crept into his tone as he tried to lighten the mood.

Jean gave a sad smile to himself as Marco comforted him, he should have known the other man would hear him since Jean wasn’t exactly good at masking things in the first place. “Mm.. still too long..” He muttered quickly during the small break in Marco’s speech. Then Marco was saying he loved Jean again and the teen sighed heavily with the full feeling in his chest, a small chuckle at the way Marco flirted.

“I feel like I’m gonna burst every time you say that you love me.” He admitted. “A-as for making up for lost time.. you know.. I.. I’ll be eighteen by then… right? … I…” Jean paused, wondering if this was a bit too heavy in response to  a mood lightening flirt, but then again they’d admitted a lot of heavy things today. “Y-you’ll … make love to me… right?” He whispered the words, feeling his heart trembling with nerves and excitement at the thought, his face hot and his tone shy.

Marco smiled at the admission, feeling a warm flutter in his chest. But then Jean was speaking again, hesitant and bringing up his birthday. "...Yeah…?" Marco prodded gently during the pause before biting his lip, waiting for the younger man to continue. He was, in fact,  _ very _ aware of the fact that Jean would be eighteen then. And the implications for what they would be able to  _ do _ then. 

But when Jean continued, Marco wheezed out a small breath. He hadn't thought of it like  _ that _ before. Yes, the teen's upcoming birthday meant they would be able to have sex, he was well aware of that. He very much wanted to be able to fuck Jean. But… wording it like  _ that _ just seemed… so overtly intimate. He was used to being much more  _ carnal _ when it came to sex. Whether it was sucking or rutting or fucking or whatever else, it was mostly physical. But something like that concept, the way Jean had worded it, 'making love' carried so many more  _ emotional _ connotations beyond just the physical sensations. "I… Uhm… I-if you want me to… then yes, o-of course…" Marco's voice came out small when he spoke and he cleared his throat before trying again. "Yes. I… yes." 

Jean chewed his lip at how small seeming Marco’s voice was all of a sudden, and felt like maybe he’d pushed it a bit and made the other man uncomfortable. His stomach felt like it was in an odd twist but Marco had said  _ yes _ and that made Jean hide his face with his hand even though there was no one there to see his expression. “I.. only if  _ you  _ wanna… I… of course I do, I always have I just… a-actually even though I want it so much I could burst I also… well d-does it hurt… a lot? I mean I know I’ve felt your tongue there…  _ oh _ …” He had to stop for a moment to quell the overwhelming embarrassment at the memory, god that had felt so good but it was also embarrassing and it had been the last time they saw each other and Jean was a mess inside  _ as usual _ .

“Mnh… never mind.” He pushed himself to his feet since his ass was going numb and shook his legs out a bit to get the feeling back, peeking over the railing to see that the stairway was still empty below him. Jean shoved his free hand into his pants pocket and leaned against the wall, one knee bent with his foot against the surface behind him. “I just think about it a lot… but I’ve always been too scared to try anything is all…”

Marco laughed slightly at Jean's awkward words before biting his lip. The teen was really kind of adorable about the whole thing. Marco moved to sit up against the headboard of the bed again before he spoke. "No… it's okay. I uhm… It doesn't hurt… not if you're doing it right anyway. Feels a bit weird at first though. And… you might be a bit  _ sore _ the next day if it's the first time, but that goes away… The main thing is staying relaxed, being comfortable. Tensing up is bad." 

A blush tinted Marco's cheeks as he gnawed at his lip for a moment. It was  _ weird _ talking about this so objectively. Particularly because Jean hadn't done  _ anything _ to his ass which on some level confused the older man. "Honestly though I can't believe you've never… I dunno, played with yourself like that though. I mean I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't! You do what you're comfortable with and whatever. I just… I mean I know I did and I almost never had any time to myself when I was your age." Marco gave a short, awkward laugh. "So it's just… a little strange to me is all? It's… kind of cute though. Knowing that I'm opening up an entire new ahm… type of thing for you." 

Jean listened to what Marco was telling him but he had trouble taking it in because this was  _ so fucking awkward _ . Why did he have to ask? He should have just waited and found out when they actually did it right? Or shoved a finger in his own ass… Jean lifted his free hand up and splayed his fingers, staring at them contemplatively for a moment before groaning in despair at himself and putting his face in his palm instead.

“I… I’m gonna admit something now and… I dunno.. uhm.. it’s probably going to sound horrible of me…” He took a deep breath, only Connie knew about this but it was only due to the fact he’d been around Jean for so many years so lived through it with him. “I haven’t done anything like that cuz I’ve only just started to really think about it seriously. I mean no, I thought about it a lot but.. I mean part of why I used to .. cut… is cuz… I hated myself for feeling like y’know… attracted to other guys. Like I seriously loathe myself and I dun really wanna go into loads of details but touching my butt was like the ultimate ‘I’m a faggot’ - sorry - thought and so I avoided it and then I was just scared of doing something wrong and getting hurt or bleeding or something s-so.. yeah.. I… I came to terms with myself months ago and I’m happy now about it but still I… I’ve been too nervous to try that. But I trust you and I mean I.. kinda really want to feel what it's like… with you..” Jean had to catch his breath after speaking so much and so fast, feeling a little bit sick from talking about it and wondering if Marco would get upset. “S-sorry again I said.. faggot but I really thought .. bad shit back then..”

Marco listened quietly as Jean spoke, continuing to gnaw idly at his lip. He gave a small, sad sigh when the younger man mentioned the connection to his cutting. He couldn't help cringing slightly at the word 'faggot', mind immediately making connections to the acidic tone of Jean's mother's voice. If he'd been raised around  _ that _ sort of thing, then it wasn't any wonder that he would have had some self-loathing thoughts about the subject. Marco couldn't even picture growing up in that sort of environment. His parents had always taken on a very 'as long as you're succeeding and not hurting anyone' attitude on things. As long as he focused on school or his singing first and foremost, he'd never been given any flack for what--or who--he did in his down time. He hadn't really thought much on how  _ lucky _ he was for that before this. Taking a moment, he let out a long, slow breath, trying to figure out what to say. 

"Mnh, no don't apologize. It's okay. I'm…" He let out another breath. "I'm just sorry you had to go through that kind of thing. It must have been terrible… I just kind of always… liked whoever I liked and did whatever felt good, to be honest. I guess I was a little spoiled by that." He forced a smile, trying to play the tone a bit lighter. "I am  _ very _ glad that you've come to terms with yourself though. Accepted your love of dicks into your heart and embraced the gay and all that." He gave a small half-laugh. "But it's okay, you know. I don't mind being the first one to t-touch you there if it makes you more comfortable… Kind of flattering, actually." 

Jean hummed at Marco’s comments on the matter and felt the knot of sick anxiety started to ease in his gut, he even laughed quietly at the other man’s ‘embrace the gay’ speech and he sighed and smiled. “Marco… you’re awesome.” He couldn’t help blurting that out fondly. 

The phone call had gone from romance to perversion to angst and then humor and Jean couldn’t believe they’d been on the phone for as long as they had when he heard the bell signalling the end of second period. “I’ll wait for you to be the one to do it then…” He lingered for a moment before sighing. “I have to go, Marco… I have like five minutes to throw a wad of dirty tissues down the toilet, wash my hands and get across to the other side of the school for my next lesson…” He didn’t want to, he wanted to skip another lesson and talk to Marco for as long as possible, but there was only so much lagging he could do before people got suspicious. 

Marco laughed warmly when Jean blurted out the compliment, muttering his thanks. He hummed, nodding slightly though he knew it couldn't be seen. "Yeah, you should probably go do that. And I should probably get back to where I'm supposed to be too. They're gonna start wondering if I'm sick or something." 

Stretching slightly, Marco sat up to get himself ready to go out. He found himself still not entirely wanting to face the tiring day, the crowds, and the fans but still feeling a lot more cheerful in general thanks to their conversation. He hesitated for a moment. "Well… text me when you can okay? I love you." He paused for a moment. "Oh… and Jean? No more skipping class to talk to me. I like your nerdiness and I don't want you getting in trouble." He hadn't been unaware that there was no way Jean had a free period. But their conversation just seemed a lot more… pertinent and important. And Jean didn't seem like the class-skipping type so one couldn't have done any harm, right? It was sound enough logic for Marco anyway. 

“Hmm… it was definitely ‘or something’.” Jean teased and bent down to scoop up the dirty balls of tissue, shoving them in his pants pocket for the time being. “Mn I love you too. I won't skip any more I promise, heh heh I won't get in trouble though plus I already read the textbooks for this stuff in advance so I didn’t miss anything.” Jean tilted his head and made his way to the stairs. “I’ll… well, talk to you soon ok. Bye Marco…” Jean contemplated blowing a kiss but that was far too embarrassing even as a joke, so he reluctantly hung up and shoved the pocket in his phone after he’d started to walk down the stairs.

Jean quickly went to the nearest restroom and threw the soiled tissues into a toilet and flushed it, scrubbing his hands clean with soap that made your hands feel like some kind of dried out leather he held them under the electric dryer for a moment before making his way to his next class.

Marco sighed slightly when the phone disconnected, lowering it to his lap to stare at it absently for a few long moments before getting up to take a quick shower and get dressed before heading off to find the others. He remembered his manager had said  _ something _ about a lunch meet-and-greet and he prodded through his phone to find the relevant information before heading out. 


	13. Wounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening before Jean's 18th birthday arrives. And with it enough drama to last Jean and Marco the year. Desperation can drive a person to do desperate things.

The next two weeks passed in a chaotic blur for Marco with seven performances and four TV appearances jammed into far too few days for his taste. His chances to talk to Jean had been few and far between, mostly relying on short texting sprees when he was at school with the occasional conversation tossed in if Marco could get some time to himself when Jean was on lunch. But with the teen's birthday approaching, Marco was increasingly anxious. He'd finally be able to see Jean again. At least… in theory. He still worried the other man's mother would find some way to intervene. But they'd at least _finally_ been able to make plans for Jean to come over on his birthday, assuming all went well.

Jean spent the next weeks on his best behaviour, he kept up with his school work - as usual - he attended all his classes and at least _tried_ to sleep more than a couple of hours a night. The evening before his birthday Jean approached his mother before she left for work, he’d puked so much that afternoon through nerves that he almost missed some lessons so when he spoke to her it was with an almost meek tone.

It had gone… horribly. They both ended up screaming at each other, Jean was far too upset and determined now to go quiet and he was a few hours from being eighteen she had _no right_ to tell him that he couldn’t see ‘that filthy homo’. He’d screamed about how he was also a filthy fucking homo but she’d slapped him so hard around the mouth it was basically a punch and it sent him sprawling across the floor with a split lip. So many seething words were exchanged, she repeated about how she wished the abortion had worked, said she should have thrown herself down the stairs when she was pregnant because she heard that worked and it would be better than seeing the piece of shit her offspring had become. She asked him what made Jean think the man even wanted him any more, or wanted him _in the first place_ because there was no way someone - _anyone_ would want a thing like Jean, finally ending in “As long as you’re under my roof you’ll do what I say!!” She screeched at him and Jean snapped, pushing himself to his feet and shoving her out of his way as he stalked to the door of the apartment.

“Fuck you then!!” were Jean’s last words before ripping the door open and dashing out of it in a rage. He ran down the stairs and it wasn’t until he’d gone a few blocks that he’d noticed he was crying… _sobbing_ actually. People looked at him as he gasped for air and stopped at a phone booth, ignoring the hot feeling of blood dripping from his lip as he fumbled in his jeans pocket for some change, _anything_ would do and luckily there was some left there. Jean picked the phone up and dialled Marco’s number after inserting the change, but it rang and rang and Marco didn’t answer before it went to voicemail, so he hung up and tried again but got the same thing. In a panic he tried three more times before punching the phone and beginning his run again, unseeing to things around him or the feeling of his feet being poked and grazed with little bits of grit and general detritus as he’d not even put his shoes on.

When Jean got to Marco’s apartment block he was wheezing heavily and gasping but he still managed to buzz, only to be refused entry. He felt like everything was shattering around him, everything was broken again and he _needed_ Marco, but they wouldn’t let him in. “J-just let me in! I’ve been here before, plenty of times I swear _he knows me_!! L-Let me in!” He begged, but they refused again, telling him the person in question didn’t receive guests and wasn’t answering his phone. Jean lost it. “L-let me in! I need to see him! I’ll fucking break this shit, I’ll make everyone see this shit it’s your fault! I’ll fucking die right here and make a mess for you to clean the fuck up let me in!!” Still a no… still nothing… Jean choked on a sob and punched himself in the side of the face, standing right in front of the glass doors where the guard could see him.

The look of shock on the man’s face spurred Jean on so he did it again, barely feeling it as he repeated the action over and over again until he felt his chin soaked with blood and his t-shirt wet with it too, smeared droplets collecting on the floor. The guard was by the door now, horrified but still not opening it so Jean punched the glass and felt a dull sort of popping pulling in his wrist, ignoring that he did it again and this time the man _did_ open the door just enough to shout at Jean to stop. But it was enough, and he lunged and ripped it open before shoving past the guard with a stumble and darting into the stairwell. He was running on pure adrenaline, he could hardly breathe and his vision was blurry, he couldn’t close his mouth without feeling like he’d drown in blood but he was _inside._ When he got to Marco’s floor with the sound of men shouting after him he ran to the older man's door and slammed himself against it belly first and started pounding. “M-Marcoh! Ma- Marco! Marco!”

Marco had hardly had a chance to sleep, much less relax or de-stress in weeks between performances and the chaos regarding his boyfriend. So when he finally got home at around nine in the evening on the night before Jean's birthday, he'd promptly collapsed face-down in his bed for a much-needed nap, still in his clothes with his phone on silent in his pocket. He could take care of those things later.

Marco jolted from his sleep in a panic at the sound of banging resonating through his apartment. It was particularly loud given that he hadn't even closed his bedroom door. He jolted upright, nearly falling off the bed as he spun around, trying to get his bearings. There was banging; someone was banging on his door. Very panicked banging. And… shouting his name? Who was banging on his door shouting for him? And oh _fuck_ wait was that _Jean's_ voice!? Marco's half-asleep brain tried to process. He wondered in his panicked state of 'someone is banging on my door' what the fuck Jean was _doing_ there. Much less banging on his door at--what time even was it anyway? He also wondered how in the _hell_ Jean had managed to get up to his floor at all. They weren't supposed to let anyone up to see him without calling him first and he certainly hadn't picked up any phone calls in his sleep.

He scrambled out of bed, bolting for the door, heart racing in his ears. Unlocking it with scrabbling fingers poorly coordinated and not yet awake, he yanked the door open. He was sure he must have looked quite a sight then, eyes wide and hair stuck up at odd angles, clothes crumpled and wrinkled from sleep. " _J-jean!?_ What the fuck are you-- _Oh god are you okay!?_ " He went from panicked unsure to panicked _worried_ in moments. Jean was fucking _bloody_!? What was even happening!?

The guards were just getting onto the landing of Marco’s floor when said man opened his front door and asked if Jean was ok in horrified shock. Jean didn’t answer him, pointing shakily at the men shouting at him to stop and then he sort of fell against Marco and wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist to stop himself from falling over completely because he was faint and relieved and scared and hurting and he _couldn’t breathe._ He clawed at Marco’s back as he sobbed and coughed and choked on his breaths and smeared blood all over the freckled man’s top and then he felt a yank at the collar of his t-shirt as the guard made it.

“We said stop! I’m so sorry Mr Bodt he’s caused so much trouble we didn’t want to let him in.” the man who had been watching Jean at the door said, out of breath and grunting slightly with the effort. The other guard who had joined the first in the chase up the stairs added “We’ll be calling the police on your behalf we’re so sorry!”

Marco wrapped his arms around Jean instinctively with a soft grunt when the smaller man fell against him, holding him close. His eyes snapped up to glare dangerously at the guard who tried to pull Jean away. Instinct to protect the teen from any perceived threat kicked in easily over any sense of tact in his barely-awake state, adrenaline making his movements sharp and alert, if not well thought out. Reflexively his hand shot out, fingers pressing into the soft underside of the man's wrist as he twisted his hand to force the guard to release his grip. He tugged Jean a bit closer to him.

"That _won't_ be necessary. He's _fine_ here. I'll file an approved visitor form for him tomorrow so he can come and go as he pleases." His tone was sharp, with no room for question. He paused for a moment, taking a step back into the apartment and bringing Jean with him. "If he's caused any damages, you can send me the _fucking_ bill. But you'd better _damn_ well hope none of _his_ damages were caused by _you_ otherwise a bill's going to be the least of your worries. So _thank you_ for your concern and good _fucking_ night." The venom in his tone was palpable. He slammed the door and twisted the lock before sagging against the wall.

"Fuck, Jean what the hell happened to you? What are you even doing here!? Are you okay? What's happened? Who did this to you? Why are you _bleeding_?" He all but spewed out the fast series of questions, all trace of his former venom replaced by overwhelming concern. Marco moved his hands to Jean's shoulders, pushing him back slightly to get a better look at him while conscious of the fact that he was probably the only thing keeping the teen standing.

Jean floated in a sort of wheezy, panicked daze until he was suddenly being asked questions… he was… right? As he was pushed back a bit for Marco to look at him he gasped out a soft whine but coughed as he tried to draw in a breath again and fuck he had to stop panicking about not being able to breathe because that made it worse. He _could_ beat this attack on his own he _could_ he’d gotten through more than one without his inhaler, this one just _seemed_ worse, but he still couldn’t help the high pitched panicked noise he made as he lifted his hand to over by his throat, his knuckles bruised and bleeding and his wrist turning a slight purple near the protruding bone there.

“M-mum… hah Marco… c-can’t… breathe…” Jean coughed around his words before feeling his legs give out and despite Marco’s hold he sank to the floor, hands wrapping in the material of Marco’s pants at the other man’s thigh for support. Jean closed his eyes, worked for the moment on trying to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible and telling himself over and over that it was ok now, everything was fine and he was _safe_ and Marco was _here_. It started to ease slightly, though not by much but the improvement further helped the panic the teen was feeling.

Marco flinched sharply at the sight of Jean's wrist. That did _not_ look good. "Okay. Alright. Okay. Just… Just breathe." Marco panicked slightly when Jean sank to the floor out of his grasp. He very seriously debated calling an ambulance. But a quick glance at the clock told him it wasn't midnight yet and he wasn't exactly eager to explain to an EMT why there was a bloody underage kid having an asthma attack in his apartment this late at night.

"Okay. You're gonna be fine. Just breathe. Don't panic, I'm gonna get you to the couch, okay?" He moved around to Jean's side and knelt down to one knee, managing to get a good grip on him after a moment and lifting him up, standing carefully. He tried to keep his steps slow and even as he moved through the apartment. He did his best to set Jean down so he was propped up leaning on the arm of the couch. "Okay uhm… I'm… guessing you don't have your inhaler. So… just… stay still okay? Think relaxed thoughts and breathe. I'll be right back."

Standing up again, Marco jolted into action. He all but bolted for his kitchen, filling the largest mug he had with the hottest water his tap would spit out before tossing it in the microwave for an extra two minutes. He tossed a bowl in the sink to fill with cold water. While that went, he scurried over to the bathroom, pulling out a couple of washcloths, a medium towel, a small bottle of eucalyptus oil, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and some rolled gauze. He bolted back out of the room, tossing his small hoard onto the coffee table before rushing back to the kitchen just as the microwave beeped. Turning off the water, he grabbed the bowl of cold water and the mug of barely-boiling water before scurrying back over to Jean.

When Marco said he was going to move him all Jean could do was nod shakily, clinging to the other man as he was lifted and then walked into the lounge where he was deposited onto the sofa. Jean was grateful for the comfortable surface and the weight off of his sore feet, socks now full of holes and grubby. He kept his eyes closed as Marco went about the apartment doing things, trying to keep his upper body as straight but as relaxed as possible despite the coughs still wracking him.

Marco knelt between the couch and the coffee table, unscrewing the eucalyptus bottle and dripping a few drops into the hot water before offering it in Jean's direction. "Okay. Do _NOT_ drink this. Just breathe it. It'll feel a little sharp in your lungs at first but it _should_ make it a little easier to breathe." It was just eucalyptus oil but it did act as a mild muscle relaxant. It made it easier to breathe--and sing--when you were slightly sick. He hoped the same principle would apply here. Asthma was based on swelling, after all. Wasn't it?

When Marco came back and handed him the mug, Jean took it with both hands, suppressing a wince as his wrist twinged and his knuckles throbbed when he wrapped his fingers around the handle. The smell of the steam made his eyes water a bit, but it was hardly noticeable with the tears already in them and Jean tipped his head over enough to breathe in the scent, coughing more at first but slowly finding it a bit easier to draw breath. Blood dripped from his open mouth into the water and stained it a deep pink, but Jean had closed his eyes again so was oblivious.

Marco let the teen focus on breathing for a few minutes, trying to not grimace at how absolutely _awful_ he looked. His eyes moved from Jean's face to his knuckles, to his face again before he couldn't stand it anymore, looking away. He distracted himself unwrapping the gauze roll and dipping two washcloths into the cold water, saturating it. Finally taking the cup carefully from Jean's grip, he flinched at the colour of the water.

"Fuck, Jean… Okay… _what_ the hell happened? Start at the beginning." He reached out to take Jean's damaged hand, patting at it with the washcloth and cleaning away the blood so he could try to see how much damage there actually was. It was easier for him to start there than to focus on the other's bloodied-up mouth. After a moment, he offered up the second washcloth to Jean. "Here… clean your face up a bit too."

Jean was still wheezing a bit, but it was becoming more like one of his mild attacks the longer he sat there breathing, in the safety of the other man’s apartment… he was finally _with_ Marco… he was right there. Jean could see him and touch him and smell him all around and his eyes watered again with the overwhelming relief of it all. When Marco took the cup away Jean didn’t protest, what he did do was avert his gaze when Marco asked what happened because that meant telling him how he’d just had a break down outside of his apartment building… it meant telling him that almost all of this damage was self inflicted and Marco had been so _happy_ that Jean didn’t hurt himself any more and he’d just done that.

He stayed silent as Marco began cleaning his hand, sobbing a bit when he was given the cloth to wipe his face and he pressed it to his chin and started to dab the blood away. “I-I’m sorry…” he started tentatively, voice weak and worn. “I… I tried talking to mum… and… she flipped her shit at me… s-said she wasn’t gonna let me near any more fucking homos… s-said she should have thrown herself d-down the stairs… when she was p-pregnant…oh …oh god…” Jean had to stop for a moment, sobbing and ducking his head as he pressed the wet, reddened cloth to his open mouth and tried to get over the despair and pain that caused so he could continue.

“S-she said… what made me think you’d even want a thing l-like me anyway… and said I had to do what she said a-as long as I was living under her roof…. s-she hit me too but… fuck… I couldn’t take it I j-just ran I .. I told her ‘Fuck you’ haha… haaa” His voice heightened in pitch and he trembled violently. He stopped then, not continuing on to relay anything that happened after that as shame filled him and he felt a crack in his confidence remembering his mother's words. _Why would he want you_ … Why would he when Jean was so fucked up?

Marco cringed when Jean relayed what his mother had said. What the hell kind of person said that sort of thing to their kid? He gave a long sigh, hoping it would hide the way he grit his teeth. He focused on his breathing for a moment, water dripping out of the cloth in his hand where he suddenly gripped it more firmly. He dropped his cloth back into the bowl of water before looking up at Jean.

"Jean… there's something you need to know." Marco paused, reaching out to gently trail his fingers across the side of Jean's face that _didn't_ look terrible. "Your mother is a fucking rude cunt who deserves to be thrown down the stairs just by herself. Preferably headfirst." The words came out sharp and acidic and downright venomous and Marco sighed, biting his lip for a moment.

When Marco spoke again, his voice was soft and gentle. "What I mean is she's obviously a rude idiot if she can't see how entirely lovely you are. Of _course_ I want you. You're an absolute dork but you're funny; you're so talented with your voice, even if you don't realize it; and you're just a bit insecure but I for one think it's kind of endearing, even if it drives me a bit nuts. Why wouldn't I want you? I _love_ you, for fuck's sake." Marco blinked, realizing that was the first time he'd gotten to say that to Jean's face. Decidedly _not_ the circumstances he'd imagined. "But shit, Jean, she actually _hit_ you? But she didn't… do all this, right? …I'll throw her down the stairs myself if she did, I swear it." The last words were muttered and spoken more to himself than anything.

Jean felt a sick sort of panic when Marco said those words ‘there’s something you need to know’ didn’t usually have good things follow them and he thought _this is it… he’s gonna say he doesn't really want me…_ But before he could get deeper into his horror Marco carried on speaking. The words that _actually_ followed made Jean blurt out a shocked, awkward sort of laugh because Marco was swearing so much. He was so venomous about Jean’s mother and _protective_ of the teen and by the time Marco finished all Jean wanted to do was throw himself at the man and kiss him all over. Sore mouth be fucked he’d do it anyway.

Drawing in a slightly wheezy breath Jean fiddled with the wet cloth, lap wet from him resting his hands there as they twisted at it and he wondered how exactly to explain the state of his face. Having moved to look at Marco directly during the other man’s first bit of speech, Jean averted his gaze again and his eyebrows furrowed. “I… this is… I… broke down.. outside… here… they wouldn’t let me in… I couldn’t.. everything just _broke_ and… and I.. just… kept hitting myself so they’d let me in… b-but they didn't even after the floor was covered with blood and … and.. I pu-punched the door… twice…. then.. he opened it and I ran…” His voice was small, ashamed and scared sounding as he admitted to Marco what had happened, shoulders trembling as he tried not to cry again.

"Jean…" Marco couldn't help saying the teen's name in a shocked sort of sigh when he heard the explanation. It would have been easier for him to process some random stranger mugging him or something. Or the guard tackling him. But this? Knowing that all those wounds were his own doing? Because of Marco? Because he was trying to get in to see _him_ ? Guilt and outrage and concern warred in his head and he wound up blurting the first thing that came to his mind. "You did this to _yourself_ !? What on earth… What possessed you to do that!?" He pinched at the bridge of his nose briefly. "Of course they wouldn't let you in if you're standing out there beating yourself up like some psychopath! That doesn't even make any _sense_ …"

Marco shook his head quickly. This wasn't the time for outrage. Jean looked so _broken_ and _bloody_ and the last thing he wanted to do was be _another_ reason for him to feel like shit. They could deal with the implications of this later, when the teen didn't look like the smallest thing would make him snap again. "No, no, nevermind. It doesn't matter. It's okay. You were panicked from the thing with your mum. You weren't thinking straight. But Jean… You really need to work on coping mechanisms okay? This is… this is really bad. Do you even _realize_ how bad you've messed up your face? There's a decent chance you sprained your wrist… Or worse. You're probably going to need to see a doctor about it." He picked back up his washcloth, wringing it out and soaking it again quickly before sitting up on his knees and reaching out to dab at Jean's face carefully.

As soon as his name left Marco’s lips the teen felt his face and neck getting hot, not the good kind of fuzzy feelings embarrassed hot but the sort of heat that came with dread and anxiety. The other man’s tone was something Jean never wanted to hear directed at him and he couldn’t help dropping his washcloth in his lap and pressing his hands to his ears, as he stared wide eyed at his knees. _He hates me he hates me he hates me_ …replayed over and over again in Jean’s head loudly enough that he missed most of what was said, so the touch to his face was a shock and he jerked back and away from it with a shocked and almost frightened expression.

“I-I’ll go… I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’ll leave … if you hate me I’m sorry I’m sorry…” Jean started to sob, curling in on himself as much as he could whilst sitting up with Marco on the floor right in-front of him, he did it by pulling his knees up - tiptoes pressed to the floor - keeping his hands on the sides of his head and pulling his elbows together in front of him. Why would Marco want him now, who the hell would want something so _wrong and broken_ and Marco had enough stress to deal with from his job. Someone like Jean was no good. Marco should be with someone better and softer and happier and not _fucked up._

Marco flinched slightly when Jean jerked away from him so suddenly, looking so _terrified_ and shocked, and curled in on himself. Marco decided immediately that he _never_ wanted to be on the receiving end of that look again. He dropped the cloth in favour of putting his hands gently on Jean's knees, not pushing them down but just encouraging them to relax. He made soft shushing noises between murmuring his reassurances. "Shhh, no no, Jean it's okay. Don't be sorry. It's okay, angel. I don't hate you. I can't hate you. Not for this. Not ever. I'm just worried about you. I'm sorry. It just… it _hurts_ me seeing you like this. Angel, please calm down. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. Everything's going to be fine. Don't cry, angel, please. Please don't cry." This was so fucked up. Here Marco was panicking over how Jean could do this to himself and _pissed_ that he could have been driven to do something like this in the first place and the guy was worried he was going to hate him for it? Marco _very_ much wanted to just punch Jean's so-called mother in that moment. But for now he had other concerns. Namely, calming Jean down.

Moving in a smooth motion to try to not startle the teen further, Marco stood slowly and moved to sit next to Jean on the couch. "It's gonna be okay. I don't hate you. It's all okay. I love you. It's okay. I'm not upset. I'm just worried about you." He wrapped his arms gently around the other man's smaller frame for a moment before tugging him closer softly. Marco kept his grip lax, not wanting to panic Jean, slowly swaying them together. Debating with himself for a long few moments, Marco started humming softly to the tune of the song from his CD that Jean had recorded as he swayed.

Jean trembled at the hands on his knees but Marco’s words started making it through the haze of panic that had overtaken him again and he started to calm down a little bit, his sobs getting fewer as the other man climbed onto the couch and tentatively took Jean into his arms. Jean couldn’t help moving his hands until they were wrapped around Marco’s waist and he was squeezing the other man tightly as if he’d disappear if Jean held any looser.

“I-I love you so much…” Jean said it for the first time since arriving, his voice soft and quiet over the sound of Marco’s humming. That song had been so painful when they were apart, but it really was beautiful and Jean felt warmth seeping into him both from Marco’s body and the song itself. Jean tilted his head up finally to look at Marco, ignoring the way his jaw throbbed and his mouth felt raw as he leaned up but then stopped abruptly. Jean glanced at Marco’s lips and then took note of how numb parts of his were so they were obviously swollen, on-top of that he was probably covered in blood and gross looking and at those thoughts Jean ducked his head again, pressing his forehead to Marco’s collarbones.

Marco made a small relieved noise when Jean wrapped his arms around him and clung on tight. He smiled at Jean's words, revelling slightly in hearing those words without the distortion of a phone call for the first time and glancing down when Jean looked up at him. His heart ached at how awful the teen looked. He knew it probably wouldn't be nearly as visibly bad once the blood was gone but his lip still looked like a mess and that wouldn't go away for a while. Plus any bruises that sprouted up that hadn't yet.

The glance Jean sent to his lips didn't escape the freckled man and he gave a sad little sigh. "Y'know… I'm not upset but… I do wish you hadn't messed up your face like this though." He ducked his head down and placed a kiss to the top of Jean's head, squeezing him a bit tighter. "If… If you wanna shower or something, I can grab something for you to change into. Might help you feel a little better at least. And I think it's a bit late for takeout but… I could make something if you're hungry?"

The kiss to the top of his head made Jean make a small noise of contentment and longing, the comment about his face had the teen biting back a reply along the lines of how it probably looked better than usual because it was a weirdly inappropriate humor for the moment, especially when he knew that deep down he felt it was partly true. “I-I wanna shower…” He admitted softly,the words slightly muffled by Marco’s chest before he pulled away reluctantly. “S-sorry… I got blood on you…” Jean leaned up and pressed his forehead gently to Marco’s mouth because he wanted more of the man's kisses and fuck it he didn’t care how stupid he looked with that action because he already looked like a complete prat.

Giving a vague noncommittal hum, Marco pressed a soft kiss to Jean's forehead when prompted. He only wished he could do more to reassure him than such a simple gesture. He smiled slightly, as reassuring as he could manage. "It's just a shirt. Don't worry about it." The shirt was the least of his worries at the moment.

“B-but… m’not hungry… I think… I’d probably puke anyway.” Jean leaned away and stood on shaking legs, drooping faintly for a moment as his head spun and his vision went white but he caught himself before falling back onto his ass. He didn’t move again after standing though, staring at the way to the bathroom but reluctant to leave Marco’s side because it had been _too long_ and they’d only just gotten to see each other again and he _didn’t want_ to be away from him.

Marco nodded slightly when the teen said he wouldn't be able to eat anyway. It was understandable between the stress and how much blood he'd probably swallowed. He frowned at the way Jean swayed and nearly fell, arms shooting out reflexively in case he needed to catch him. "Are you okay? I… I mean can you _handle_ showering by yourself right now? You're not going to slip and die in there?" Hesitating for a moment, Marco bit his lip. "If not… I could… uhm… keep an eye on you or… help you… or something. I dunno." A slight blush tinted at the apples of his cheeks and he hastened to add onto his sentence. "N-not in a perv way or anything." Marco's blush darkened and he tried _very_ hard to ignore how very much he _was_ thinking of that in a 'perv way'. He hated how his cock automatically twitched slightly at the idea of Jean being naked, wet, and soapy when he _should_ have been worrying about the younger man's injuries.

“I’unno…” Jean answered the other man honestly. He could probably manage if he sat on the floor on the shower and washed that way, but at the same time it felt unappealing when faced with the possibility of his boyfriend joining him. “C-come with me…” Jean hardly blushed as he said it, though he was sure he could have if he didn’t feel so awful right at that moment. “Dun wanna be away from you…” Jean leaned down and gingerly took Marco’s hand, winced and then switched to use his right hand which wasn’t sore. He wrapped his fingers around Marco’s palm and tugged the other man so gently it was more a suggestion than anything.

The thought of them both being naked - possibly - hadn’t occurred to him yet as they made their way to the bathroom and all Jean wondered is if Marco would notice that he’d lost weight. Since the other man had called him boney as it was, after near two months of not having an apatite Jean’s body weight had lessened and he was sure his collar bones and hip bones stuck out more as well as the soft curves of his lower ribs.

Marco's blush deepened when Jean said he actually _did_ want him to come with him, mind immediately repeating the thoughts of naked wet and soapy Jean. Part of him had hoped for the sake of his sexual frustration that he would be turned down. "I uhm… okay…" He chose not to comment on the way the teen flinched when he tried to use his left hand, instead squeezing the other's hand slightly once he switched them. Marco stood slowly before heading towards the bathroom with Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to break your hearts more. But as always, comments are appreciated!


	14. Cleansing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wet. Naked. Soapy. Even with Jean's injuries, Jean and Marco have been away from each other for far too long to resist getting their hands on each other somehow.

The blush stayed on Marco's face as he stopped by the sink, hovering awkwardly for a moment before leaning against it slightly. "S-so uhm… I c-can just stay out here in case you need me or uhm… i-if you want I guess I could j-join you or… whatever you want?" His blush darkened at the idea of them _both_ being nude, wet, and soapy. He tried to force the thoughts away as he worried on his lip. This was _not_ the time for a boner. He needed to focus on things that weren't the idea of water sliding down his boyfriend's body, slick bubbles of soap moving across his skin… Marco clenched his hands around the counter behind him, looking down and away with his reddened face.

When they were inside Jean walked slowly over to the shower after Marco stood awkwardly by the sink. He turned on the water to heat up and turned to watch the other man stumbling over his words and blushing and seeming altogether flustered which was just _odd_ to Jean because usually he was the one like that. With a slight flush of his own now dusting his face beneath the blood and bruises Jean walked over to Marco without saying a word and placed his hands on the other man’s chest with a sigh. Smoothing his fingertips across the broad expanse before dropping them to the hem of the other man’s shirt and tugging it upwards slowly but in one movement until Marco had no choice but to help and remove it completely.

Jean leaned in and pressed a light kiss to the middle of Marco’s sternum, lips sore but he ignored it because Marco’s skin felt so good beneath them. “Just get your ass in the shower with me…” He said at last before turning away and hoping the heat on the back of his neck hadn’t turned it pink because he was so damn embarrassed. Jean stripped himself awkwardly, stumbling a few times when he took his pants and socks off and he winced as he stepped into the shower because the water stung his feet at first. The water was hot and steam billowed about the small space as Jean pressed his back to the wall and wrapped his arms around his midsection in a futile attempt to shield his body from view, still not under the spray of water. It was an odd feeling, wanting to be naked in the shower with your boyfriend but not really wanting them to _see_.

Marco couldn't help the shudder that shot through him at the feeling of Jean splaying his fingers across his chest. He let out a shaky breath, helping to pull his shirt off before dropping it to the floor by the door. He gave a soft sigh at the gentle kiss. "Nh… I uhm okay." Marco undressed himself quickly, hands flinging out a few times with sudden bursts of panic as to whether or not the other man would fall.

A frown fell across Marco's face when Jean pressed himself against the shower wall, clutching at his stomach. Marco's eyes darted from the teen's ribs to his collar bones to his hips. Bones, bones, more bones. He had been skinny before but this… Marco pushed down the sick churning of his gut as best as he could. He stepped forward slowly, stepping into the shower and placing his hands on Jean's forearms gently. Now that he'd noticed it, he could even feel how the other had become skinnier there as well. His voice when he spoke was cautious and almost hesitant. "Jean… I… I need you to answer me honestly here. Have you been… Uhm… have you been… starving yourself…? ...On purpose?"

Jean was looking at the floor when Marco entered the shower, licking at his split lip with a slight wince but stilling when Marco’s hands were on him and the other man asked him if he’d been starving himself. Jean couldn’t help the defensive sort of snort that bubbled out of him and he ducked his head in embarrassment at it.  Of course Marco would think that, _anyone_ who noticed would think that if they just saw it.

“No, Marco.” Jean said honestly and a little defeated sounding. “I wanted to eat… but at first I kept puking and then I just… I’ve had no apatite. Everything’s been so unappealing to me I even tried forcing myself to eat but that just made me sick a-and…” His breath hitched but he persevered. “I know I look gross… m’sorry I.. you can get out if you want I’ll uhm… ah, I was going to say get dressed before I come out of the bathroom.. b-but… all I left the house with were the clothes there..” He motioned to the pile of dirty clothes on the floor and put his head in a hand, how stupid.

Marco let out a shuddering sigh, slightly relieved by the fact that this worrying habit hadn't started _deliberately_ but still alarmed and worried by Jean's undereating. It was far too easy to slip into something like that without noticing it and then _stay_ there, slipping away bit by bit. And it was _dangerous_. He was far too acquainted with those risks to let the teen do that to himself. When Jean called himself 'gross', Marco flinched, wrapping the other up in his arms tightly as soon as he stopped speaking.

"You're not gross. You're _way_ too skinny and a little fucked up, but not gross." Marco placed a kiss to the side of the smaller man's head before speaking more seriously. "But you're not doing this. You're just _not_ . Not if I have anything to say about it. When we get out of here, you're eating something. I don't care if it's a damn piece of bread. If you can't keep your food down normally, you'll start there and work your way back up. Whatever it takes. I don't care if you start with a little something seven or eight times a day. Then a bigger something five times a day. Until you can eat properly again. I am _not_ standing by while you wither into nothing, appetite or not." Briefly, Marco wondered if he came across a bit _too_ emphatic about the situation but he couldn't dwell on it. He squeezed his grip slightly before stepping back slightly. "Now get washed up."

Jean leaned into the hug and closed his eyes as Marco spoke to him, an odd sort of apprehension bubbling up in him at the mention of having to eat, of being _made_ to eat although he could completely see where Marco was coming from. He _knew_ he had to, he hoped to the heavens that he would get his appetite back now that he could see Marco again, but that still left all the issues with his mother… where he would go - he couldn’t pay his way so even staying here made Jean feel like he was a pain and Marco might not even offer. Jean wanted his mind to go blank as the thoughts swirled, _anything_ would do he just didn’t want to think any more he was tired of it.

“Mnh… I’ll try… a bit … l-like… scrambled egg...maybe?” He said in askance as he stepped away and turned towards the spray of water, gasping as the heat of it hit him and soaked him. He closed his eyes and let it fall on-top of his head, pasting his hair down and making his lip and knuckles sting where the flesh was broken.

Letting out a small, relieved sigh, Marco nodded. It was a start. If Jean was willing to _try_ that meant a lot. It was a good sign, at least. The older of the two gave a small smile. "Scrambled egg is fine. ...For now. But I mean it about working you back up. Don't think I won't make sure you eat."

Marco tried to not look when Jean stepped into the water. But the gasp drew his attention to the back of Jean's head and how the water deflated his hair. His eyes drifted lower almost of their own accord, watching the way the water moved across Jean's shoulders, noting briefly how his shoulder bones stuck out more against his back. He felt rather than heard a shaky sigh leave his own lips as his eyes fell to Jean's ass, water moving smoothly across his skin. From behind at this angle, Jean didn't look injured at all. No, he just looked very naked and very wet and _very_ interesting to Marco's dick. Marco bit his lip harshly, deliberately and pointedly averting his eyes and praying for his very exposed cock to stop forming the boner that it seemed intent on forming. His hands drifted to cover himself with a small stifled whimper. This wasn't _fair_.

Jean stepped out of the direct spray again and reached to the side to get Marco’s shower gel, popping the cap and humming in quiet approval as the scent hit him and it was so very _Marco_ . Not _exactly_ like the other man of course, because his natural odor mingled in but it was so good to be here and Jean washed himself gratefully with small sounds of pleasure emitting from him every now and again as his hands moved over his body with slippery ease and all the grime and blood washed away leaving him his pale self. Aside from the bruises to his jaw, hand and wrist of course.

Marco stayed stark still, unable to keep himself looking away for more than a few moments. He didn't dare move. Instead, he simply kept his ever-increasing erection covered as best as he could with his hands and a slight shameful blush on his face as he watched Jean wash himself. He could feel his cock throbbing against his palms with each pleased sound the younger man made.

Marco’s whimper hadn’t gone unnoticed, however Jean decided to finish washing before he reacted to it in any way because… it was a crime for Marco to make _that_ noise. Now that the immediate horror of the situation was behind him Jean couldn’t help becoming more aware of the man behind him, how Marco was standing there _naked_ and fucking _whimpered_. “T-that’s not fair Marco…” He whispered with a slight whine and stepped backwards without turning, pressing his slick back against the other man’s chest and reaching around to grab Marco’s hands.

Jean gently pulled the other man’s hands around his waist and pressed the flats of them against his stomach with a slight tremble and a heated blush. “H-help me… wash..” He said tentatively and it was obvious he sort of meant _more_ than just wash. He’d waited so long to see Marco again, wanted nothing more than to just drown in the other man’s presence and forget all the bad because Marco was so _so_ good.

When Jean was _backing up_ towards him and speaking with that soft whine in his tone, Marco dropped his hands breathlessly to his sides. _God_ he wanted Jean so badly. He gasped at the feeling of the teen's slick back against his skin. Marco shuddered slightly as his hands were pressed against Jean's skin. He hesitated only a moment before letting his hands start to roam slowly. One hand moved upward, ghosting across the other man's stomach and up to his chest, brushing against a nipple gently. He moved his other hand lower, slipping it back and forth in a slow zigzag before wrapping around Jean's cock as he rolled his hips slightly, pressing his obvious erection firmly against him. Marco pressed a small kiss to Jean's shoulder as he groaned. "I missed you…"

As Marco’s hands started to move Jean kept his own resting upon Marco’s forearms, moving with them as his chest was stroked and fingertips brushed his nipple making him gasp and tilt his head back to rest on Marco’s shoulder, eyes closing. When the other hand moved lower in an almost teasing motion Jean held his breath, his cock twitched with interest and then there was a hand around it and Jean whimpered and bucked his hips. The feel of Marco’s erection behind him only making his quickly growing arousal intensify and he couldn’t help an almost shy roll of his pelvis back against the other man.

“M-missed you too.. s-so much… everything… ha-” Jean lifted his good hand and placed it at the back of Marco’s neck, letting his fingertips gently scrape through the short hairs at his nape as Jean arched against him. “Marco… I- I need you… please… j-just… m-move your hand…. y-your dick.. mouth...anything… everything…” He didn’t care that his voice held the tone of _begging_ because Jean needed this too much to care about pride or how embarrassed he felt.

Marco revelled in the sensation of Jean's skin under his touch, savouring the warmth of their bodies pressed together. He'd missed this so much. He groaned softly when Jean rolled his hips back against him so minutely before shuddering at the feeling of Jean's fingers scraping through his hair. Marco rolled his hips again slightly against Jean's ass with a small quiet moan before leaving a few more kisses against the teen's shoulders.

The way Jean _begged_ made it so Marco couldn't even think about turning him down. They both _needed_ this, needed _something_ . He rolled his hips against Jean again as he gave few small strokes to the smaller man's cock. "I… God I wanna fuck you so bad… I…" It wasn't like he was going to attempt fingering Jean in the shower or something. He might have been horny, but he wasn't foolish. Marco hesitated slightly before murmuring in Jean's ear. "How about I… fuck your thighs again?" He wasn't sure if it was risky to bring up the idea. The last time they'd done that had been the last time they'd been together, right before everything went so horribly wrong. But _god_ he just wanted to be able to thrust against Jean's body so badly.

Jean groaned as Marco said he wanted to fuck him, the feeling was mutual but the shower, here, right now wasn’t the time for that. Right now Jean needed to just feel in a familiar way and the whisper in his ear suggesting Marco fuck his thighs made the teen groan and shudder. “Y-yea… oh fuck yes… that’s so hot..” Jean gasped, remembering how good it had been last time and forcing the negative memories of that night out of his mind.

“F-fuck my thighs Marco.. ah-..” Jean dropped his good hand from the back of Marco’s neck and reached back to the space between their bodies with a soft groan as he rubbed against Marco’s cock with it for a moment. “P-pervin on me and getting a boner like this… heh.. I love you…” Jean ducked his head as he shifted position slightly, lifting himself onto his tiptoes as he used his hand to guide Marco’s erection between his legs. One he’d done that Jean stood on flat feet again and the pressure of Marco’s dick on the underside of his groin made him pant slightly whilst he pressed his legs together, crossing them at the ankle to get a tighter pressure against the other man.

A small moan escaped from Marco's throat when Jean slipped his hand between them and touched his cock. He gave a breathy chuckle at the other man's words. He didn't feel nearly as bad for getting turned on anymore. Not when it was being so obviously well-received. Jean's injuries be damned; they were both far too pent up to hope to be able to resist a chance like this. "Mnh… love you too. But hey, you can't blame me for being a perv. Being naked in the shower with my sexy boyfriend? How could I _not_ get a boner over that? Water running down your skin so nice… I couldn't ignore that if I tried. I'm only human…"

Marco gasped slightly before letting out a moan when Jean adjusted their position, fitting their bodies together. Feeling the warmth of Jean's body against his cock was a dizzying rush that he had missed. "Oh fuck... " His hand that had been forgotten splayed across Jean's chest tensed against his skin and clung him tighter suddenly. With his other hand he stroked at Jean's cock a bit faster, rolling his hips slightly and groaning at the delicious pressure against his aching erection. "Oh god yes…"

“M- Marco… when you talk like that… it’s embarrassing..” He paused for only a beat before adding. “And _really_ sexy..” He gave a soft, breathy chuckle that devolved into a moan as Marco swore and started to move, the hand on his chest reassured Jean because he wasn’t sure if he could keep standing under his own steam for long when he was worked up.

“Y-yeah… t-that feels so good...Mnh!” Jean moved his hips too, thrusting into the hand on him and then pressing back hard against Marco’s body. “Just… let go… y-you dun have to be slow I… fuck Marco I need it … need you..” Jean let his head fall back against Marco’s shoulder again, his free hand once more moving to scrape through the back of Marco’s hair and give it a light tug. “I’m.. really not gonna last long after all this time.. so please…” Jean whimpered again and bucked his hips.

Marco purred slightly at Jean's words, feeling a thrill at Jean admitting that he liked it after all. On some level he really enjoyed embarrassing the younger man and so to know that he enjoyed being on the receiving end of it after all was exciting. Jean's movements made Marco moan in response. He shuddered when the other man spoke and leaned against his shoulder, tugging at his hair.

"Oh fuck… P-pull my hair harder…" Marco trembled slightly around his words. He adjusted himself slightly, starting to thrust himself against the other in earnest at the invitation. Marco groaned, eyes rolling back slightly. After so much time spent either not doing anything or only being able to take matters into his own hands, the heat and soft warmth of Jean's body against him felt fantastic. His hand stayed pressed against the teen's chest, keeping him close as he moved his hips and the hand around Jean's cock. He tipped his head forward slightly, biting down on Jean's shoulder and suckling at it, he scraped the skin gently with his teeth. He was only satisfied when he'd left a nice dark mark, pulling back with a small moan and breathing heavy between hard and fast movements of his hips.

Jean groaned when Marco asked him to pull harder, so he did. He wrapped his fingers tightly in the soft, dark strands of Marco’s hair and twisted it slightly, pulling on the hair but not forcing his head in any direction because he already approved of where it was. With the other man’s mouth pressed against his shoulder sucking and biting at it Jean quivered and probably would have fallen if not for the hand on his chest. “O-oh god _yes_ th-that feels good… your mouth… your hand, Marco ah!”

"Ngh! Oh fuck yes…" Marco moaned out at the way Jean tugged at his hair, rhythm faltering only for a moment. He would have left more marks on the other's skin, was very tempted to, but the hot and humid air from the shower combined with his arousal made his breaths come fast and short. Instead, he leaned his head against Jean's shoulder heavily, small moans falling from his lips.

Jean arched again as Marco thrust against him hard and fast and _wonderfully_. The teen had already built up enough that he was on the edge and he yanked on Marco’s hair again as a violent shudder rippled through him. “Oh-fuck.. I-...I told you..b-but.. already! I’m.. cumming! I ah! Love- yoUH!” Jean felt flushed from his forehead to his chest with the embarrassment as he came hard, thick sticky string's shooting to the shower floor before being washed away with the water and his body bucked and his breath hitched painfully.

The sharp tug against his hair when Jean came made him gasp, groaning out a low pleased sound. He was so _close_ … After stroking Jean through his orgasm, Marco moved his hands to the younger man's hips, his own pelvis moving in hard and fast movements for another short while. But it wasn't long before he was crying out a broken version of the other's name, his grip on Jean's hips turning momentarily tight. Marco trembled and shuddered through his climax, cumming hard between Jean's legs before sagging slightly against the nearest shower wall with breathless pants. "I… I love you t-too…"

Jean sagged against Marco, making sure to keep his thighs pressed tight as much as possible as the other man grabbed the teens hips and thrust against him hard. It felt so good and right and _god_ it made Jean want to have actual sex even more. When Marco came Jean groaned again at the sound and feeling of it, looking down to watch the other man’s cum oozing out from between his legs with a pleased shudder.

When Marco sagged against the wall, Jean moved with him, still soapy as he sighed and moved away reluctantly after a few long moments. Stepping under the water and washing the remaining suds away before turning to face Marco again looking the man up and down with an appreciative hum. “Mm… what a view.” He smiled a bit, though it was small because any wider would pull at his mouth. Jean walked over and wrapped his arms around Marco’s neck, wincing as he bumped his left one on the other man’s shoulder by mistake but he grit his teeth and ignored the throb of pain that shot through his arm.

"Mnh… Now who's the pervert?" Marco countered Jean's remark with a cheeky smirk, still a bit breathless. Still, it was good to see Jean smile, even if it was only slightly. He found himself thinking that this… fooling around in the shower, the teasing comments, the comfortable presence… this would be a good new 'normal'. The thought entered his mind of what Jean was going to do now. It didn't seem like he could exactly go home to his mother--not that Marco would want him to with how awful the woman seemed--and he didn't have anywhere else… The freckled man wondered if it would be too weird and overwhelming to offer to let Jean stay with him.

Jean's wince didn't go unnoticed as Marco carefully wrapped his arms around the other's waist. He kissed his boyfriend's uninjured cheek gently. "You… really fucked up your wrist didn't you…? And I know there's no way you'll let me talk you into going to the hospital tonight, is there?" Marco sighed slightly, not really needing an answer to his question before continuing. "I think I have an old wrist brace somewhere under the sink. At least… at least wear that tonight until we know if you broke your hand or not?"

“I never said I wasn’t.” Jean raised his brows in an almost innocent look, blinking wide eyes before snickering and murring at the kiss to his cheek. Marco had been right when he’d assumed Jean wouldn’t go to the hospital tonight since there was no way that he’d risk being sent back home, he could deal with it anyway, it’d get better on it’s own. “Mn, ok I’ll wear that. But yeah I won't go to hospital.” His tone of voice held a stubborn edge to it.

Jean looked _weirdly adorable_ feigning innocence, Marco decided. He rolled his eyes slightly when the teen confirmed there was no way he was going to a hospital. He gave a little huff in response. "Fine. But if it still hurts in the morning, you're _getting_ x-rays done. No arguments." There was no room for question in his tone.

A small shudder went through him at the cold press of the shower wall against him and he stood up properly. "And at least let go and let me wash up. I'm sweaty and freezing both at once now. Ew." Marco made a small if exaggerated grimace for a moment, tongue sticking out.

“How can you be cold it’s steamy as fuck in here.” Jean said with a slight laugh, stepping to the side and sticking his own tongue out just a bit in return to the other man’s expression, only Jean then leaned in and licked Marco’s shoulder before stepping out of the shower and finding a towel to wrap around his waist.

Marco squawked slightly at the lick before continuing to speak in a much more lighthearted tone. "Gee maybe I'm cold because I'm _exhausted_ . S _omeone_ woke me up from my first decent nap in _days_ with loud banging on my door, remember? And _then_ that same someone just sapped the _rest_ of my energy with a very nice but tiring shower orgasm."

“T’ch.” Jean clicked his teeth slightly at being told he _was_ getting x-rays and whilst he was sure it was probably the right thing to do he just _hated_ hospitals after spending so long in them as a kid when his asthma was much worse. “Anyway, you didn’t _have_ to get off it would have been just fine if you got me off and conserved your energy.” he laughed a little. “S-sorry I’m joking… if anything I want you to get off more than myself.”

Marco only snorted and rolled his eyes at Jean's comment about him not getting off. It was obvious he was kidding and if anything the older of the two was just so glad for the cheeky banter again. When Jean was out of the shower, Marco set about washing himself quickly. He'd really already needed a shower when he got home anyway but he'd just been too exhausted to care.

Whilst Marco washed, Jean scrubbed at his wet hair as best he could using one hand and then looked under the sink to see if he could find the brace Marco was talking about. After a while of swearing under his breath Jean found it and stood up, another wave of dizziness making him sway and sag against the sink.

Marco had just turned off the water and was stepping out when Jean stood up and suddenly swayed. Marco nearly flung himself across the room but managed to relax slightly when the teen slumped against the sink. Still, he frowned in worry, grabbing himself a towel and wrapping it around his waist. He moved to place a hand gently on the teen's shoulder. Jean was really in bad shape health-wise. It made Marco's gut churn with concern. The smaller man was downright malnourished and he looked like hell.

"Here…" Marco took the brace, opening it up before slipping it carefully onto Jean's wrist and adjusting it to the right size. He moved slowly, carefully, trying to not jostle the other man's wrist. He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to the brace. "Why don't you… You can lay down if you want while I find you something to wear? Take it easy?" He didn't want to seem like he was babying Jean but he just seemed… fragile somehow.

Jean leaned into the touch to his shoulder when Marco approached him with a content hum. Over-tired and his body running on a single pot of ramen and about five energy drinks over the past two and a half days. Jean held his arm out when Marco put the brace on him, wincing slightly despite how careful the other man was. Although he was almost 100% certain he hadn’t _broken_ it, it still hurt like a bitch. “Thank you…” He said when Marco was done and placing a kiss on the brace and Jean felt more guilty than he had in a long, long time.

“Sorry.. yeah actually I think I wanna lie down. I feel a bit sick…” He admitted, though he knew it was stress and there’s no way swallowing all the blood that he had would have anything but a nauseating effect.

Marco  forced a small smile when the teen admitted he wanted to lay down, nodding gently. Marco tried to not let the concern he felt weighing down on him show on his face. "Sure, of course. Why don't you just lay down in bed for a bit then?" Leaving the bathroom quickly before he could fret anymore, Marco made his way to the bedroom. He was worried but he couldn't obsess over it, knowing it would only start to make Jean uncomfortable.

“Kay…” Jean said passively before following Marco into the bedroom at a slower pace. Once he was in there he scrubbed at his hair to dry it a bit more before letting the towel drop to the floor and flopping face first onto the bed, feet hanging off the end of it.

Tugging on a pair of boxers and a thin long-sleeve t-shirt carelessly before starting to scavenge through his closet, Marco tried to find something adjustable enough to fit without just falling right back off. One loose drawstring pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt--usually quite tight on him but likely to be hilariously large on Jean--later he reemerged, tossing the clothes on the bed. "I uh… I don't think my underwear would fit you so…" Giving a small, sheepish shrug, the freckled man left the room, heading for the kitchen.

Jean was half dozing when Marco emerged with the clothes he could borrow and the other man’s words about the underwear made him smile and mutter a “Commando… hot.” before Marco was gone.

Jean groaned and grabbed the clothes in his good hand but didn’t move to put them on right away, he felt like he could sleep for days because it was so _comfortable_ here and warm… and safe. Feeling emotional again had Jean sitting up and pulling the clothes on, the t-shirt was loose enough to look like it was almost swallowing him up and despite doing the drawstring up Jean had left the pants loose enough to be comfortable and not digging into his hips. Which meant as he lay back down on his stomach with his arms splayed to the sides the top of his ass was visible where the shirt had drooped to sit in the hollow of his spine.

Getting out a pan, Marco set about making the requested eggs for both of them, debating for a moment before putting up some toast as well. He hadn't eaten in hours anyway and knew it would likely make Jean feel better and less like he was on exhibit if they were both eating. Marco glanced at the clock as he stifled a small yawn, stirring the eggs around in the pan. Small glowing numbers blinked 11:33 back at him almost mockingly. _Fuck_ he was tired. Digging out a pair of plates and dishing up the food, he debated for a moment before picking them up and heading back towards the bedroom. Normally, he'd be aghast at the idea of eating in his room but he was tired, Jean was woozy and injured, and Marco just couldn't be bothered to care as he re-entered the room. "I come bearing food. Come on, up up. Eat."

Marco couldn't help letting his eyes ghost over the exposed skin when Jean was laying down. Tired as he was, he still just wanted to reach out and touch the other man. Now that the panic had subsided, it felt surreal in a way, having Jean in his apartment again. Much less in his _bed_. The last time he'd been there had been… when everything went wrong. Marco shuddered, pushing the thought away in favour of focusing on the present. Things would… things would be okay now. Surely. They had to be. Anxiety still gnawed at the edges of his mind regardless.

Marco came back in and Jean jolted awake with a slight frown, not remembering when he’d fallen asleep and the smell of food making him both hungry and nauseous. Groaning a little bit Jean lifted himself up and tried to scoot up the bed so his back was against the headboard, but he’d momentarily forgotten about his wrist and yelped as he leaned on it with all of his weight. He blushed with embarrassment at the noise and having forgotten about it, reaching out to take the food with his good hand. “Th-thanks…”

"Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." Marco half-laughed his apology as his boyfriend jolted awake. He frowned when Jean yelped suddenly, biting his lip for a moment. That wasn't a good reaction. "Careful with yourself, yeah? Now eat, come on." Marco tried to keep his words casual as he perched on the edge of the bed and picked up his fork, taking a small bite of his eggs before gesturing with it between Jean's face and his plate.

Jean muttered a soft “S’okay.” as he stared at the plate on his lap. It looked _good_ and Marco had made it for him and yet he felt the familiar sick churning in his gut when he thought about eating it. He side glanced the other man when he was gestured at and sighed with a strained look on his face as he speared some of the egg the best he could using his right hand - god that felt so weird he usually held his fork on the left - and gingerly took a bite. It _was_ good, and he swallowed it with less trouble than he’d thought despite his jaw tingling slightly at the repetitive movement of chewing.

Jean took another small mouthful and chewed it slowly, then another and he was about half way done before he bit the swollen inside of his cheek and blood flooded his mouth again and he gagged but kept his lips tightly closed as he swallowed the blood and the egg in one. “I… need a wash cloth…” he said as a droplet of blood slithered down his chin from the corner of his mouth and he swallowed thickly again to avoid more coming out.

Marco ate his food deliberately slowly, trying not to get too far ahead of the other man. The more Jean ate, the more Marco managed to relax. At least, until the other gagged and then there was blood running down from his mouth and even Marco felt a bit queasy. The freckled man all but jolted into action. He dropped his plate to the bed beside him, shimmying off the bed and rushing out of the room to grab a clean washcloth from the stack left on the coffee table. He grabbed a second, damp washcloth as well before moving back to the bedroom.

"Uhm here…" Marco thrust both options in Jean's direction as he perched carefully back on the edge of the bed. Worrying at his lip slightly, Marco wasn't sure what else to do other than sit there awkwardly and hope to be given some sort of direction if there was any way he could help. Briefly, he debated trying to convince the teen to go to the hospital again but as far as he knew there wasn't really much they could do for the inside of someone's cheek aside from stuffing Jean's cheeks full of gauze like some sort of absurd gerbil. Marco couldn't help picturing Jean with his cheeks puffed out like that and promptly shoved the entire concept to the side. No, there was no way the other man would agree to any of that.

Jean jumped a bit at how fast Marco moved, blushing that he’d caused the other man to worry so much.. that Marco actually… really did like him, _love_ him. When Marco came back Jean took both items that were offered but he used the damp one, opening his mouth as much as he was able and gingerly stuffing the washcloth into his cheek before biting down on it and looking up at Marco - half of the washcloth hanging out of his mouth still - with a deep crimson blush and a glare that screamed he’d die of embarrassment if Marco dared _laugh_ at him.

He knew he must look ridiculous, but having had some teeth out before and remembering having to bite down on gauze for that to stem the bleeding he hoped the same was true of his cheek. It _had_ stopped, Jean was just clumsy and it wasn’t particularly hard to bite the inside of your cheek over and over again after doing it once in one meal, let alone if it was swollen from being punched. Now that he was calmer, Jean really did feel like an idiot for that and he ducked his head in shame at the memory, lifting the plate of half finished food towards Marco with his good hand and giving the other man an approximation of a thumbs up with the other - for thanks.

Marco could only stare as Jean shoved the washcloth into his mouth, blinking slowly. He gave a small absent nod at the thanks, setting the plate aside and wishing the other had been able to eat more before biting his cheek. He was fairly sure he wouldn't get him to eat anything else tonight. But there was always tomorrow.

Still, Marco couldn't stop staring at Jean's face and the strange way his cheek bulged out from the washcloth stuffed into it. The teen looked… about as absurd as in the older man's mental image from only moments before. Marco's head tilted to the side slightly. "...You'd make a really grumpy-looking gerbil." He blurted out the words without thinking before realizing he'd actually said that _out loud_ and slapping a hand across his mouth. He gave a few small apologetic half-bows, cheeks red. "Sorry! Sorry. I'm sleepy. Please ignore me. ... _Oh god_ I can't believe I just said that." Marco gave a small dying-sounding whine, burying his eyes behind one palm. He was sure Jean was either going to be mortified or pissed off and really wasn't keen on either. He seriously debated the merits of instituting a rule whereby he wasn't allowed to talk after 11pm, particularly after an interrupted nap.

Jean let his hands drop back down to his lap once Marco had taken the food, but then the other man said he looked like a grumpy gerbil and Jean’s face got even redder and he swiftly gave Marco the finger, trying to glare at his own knees. As Marco stumbled over his apologies Jean couldn’t help but cover his face, shoulders quaking in silence for a moment before muffled laughs started to fill the room.

Jean _knew_ he looked stupid, Marco pointing it out was unexpected but not unheard of and the other man's quick, stumbling apology was hilarious to Jean for some reason. Jean wrapped his hands around his stomach as the coughing fit subsided a bit and he sighed, a muffled and distorted “Dorf” was muttered before Jean flopped onto his back and arched in a stretch. That had felt good, despite his mortified embarrassment of course, but laughing had improved his mood more on-top of their shared shower experience and he yawned around the cloth in his mouth. Jean rolled onto his side, facing Marco and tapped his hand against the bed beside him his eyebrows raised in question because he just wanted to be wrapped in the other man’s arms and sleep… Although he supposed it sort of looked like he was inviting him for sex and he let out another muffled, embarrassed chuckle.

Marco looked up from his hand with an expression of pure bafflement when he heard the laughing. Jean was… laughing at his ridiculous comment? He couldn't help the blush that rose on his cheeks because as terrible as he felt for actually having _said_ that, he was beyond thrilled to have made the other man laugh like that. He could only guess that the word the teen muttered was meant to be 'dork' and he gave a small laugh in response, rolling his eyes and trying to bite down his blush. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

Blushing a bit darker when Jean rolled onto his side and patted the bed, Marco forced himself to not read too much into it despite the implications. He stacked their plates carefully before putting them down on the nightstand. He could deal with them properly in the morning. Marco tried to stifle a yawn, rubbing at his eyes momentarily before settling himself down next to the other man. He hesitated slightly, not wanting to just pull Jean closer to him like he normally would for fear of injuring his wrist further. Instead, he settled for simply asking. "...Cuddle and sleep?"

When Marco lay down next to him Jean made a content noise, noting the other man’s hesitance but too tired to mind it much he nodded at Marco’s question and shuffled a bit closer, curling against the other man’s chest with his hands cradled in front of him and his head ducked because Marco just made him feel _safe_. He needed that feeling right now.

Jean slept fitfully, he woke up twice feeling like he was going to puke but he made himself lie still and will the feeling away instead of getting up and giving in to it. He woke up once because he’d rolled onto his wrist at an odd angle and jolted himself awake through pain, too.

For his part, Marco surprisingly managed to sleep through most of the night, with the exception of Jean elbowing him with a series of pained noises that he could only guess were because of the teen's wrist. But he stayed still, silent, and not wanting Jean to know he'd woken him up. And after a short time of just listening to the other man breathe, he managed to fall back asleep.


	15. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jean wakes up on the morning of his 18th birthday after his first full night spent in Marco's apartment. That line in the sand they'd been carefully toeing is suddenly unnecessary. The invisible barrier keeping them apart is suddenly not needed. But after so much waiting, has one night really changed anything? And, if it has, can the fantasy possibly live up to the reality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, full disclosure, this chapter (and at least another 50k words) has been sitting completed in gdocs since the last chapter was put up. But between actual IRL birthdays (both Hei's and Kai's) and a chaotic series of life events and stressors, finding motivation for editing has been... difficult. But there's now been a binge-edit of the next several chapters so you can expect those very shortly! As always, comments are great motivation and it's always good to hear from you guys!

Somehow Jean managed more sleep than usual, woke up before Marco and was instantly greeted with the beautiful expanse of the other man’s back, t-shirt pulled taut against his shoulders and flashing a large strip of skin around the man’s waist and hips where it had ridden up during the night.

Jean groaned softly and tried to ignore the fact he had a very impressive morning boner as it was, sitting up and wincing as he pulled the cloth from the inside of his cheek and thanking the powers that be that it didn’t gush with blood as soon as the pressure was removed. Jean leaned over and put it on the bedside table with the plates and then lay back down again, shifting to press himself against Marco’s back and wrapping his good arm around the man’s waist. The teen gave a gentle kiss to the back of Marco’s neck and whispered a sigh of contentment as he closed his eyes and began trying to will away his morning wood, because however nice it felt having it pressed against Marco’s ass he wasn’t sure if that was an appropriate way to wake someone the first time you spent the night.

When Jean stirred and sat up, the movement of the bed roused the older man slightly. But the shift as he leaned over and then back made Marco wake up more fully. He made a small half-asleep humming noise when Jean wrapped around him and kissed at his neck. "Ngh… Morning?" Marco shifted himself slightly then and couldn't help a small gasp at the  _ very _ obvious state of Jean's erection pressed against him, the loose pajama pants he'd loaned to the smaller man doing absolutely nothing to conceal it. 

Jean brushed the tip of his nose against the area he’d just kissed and answered Marco with a quiet and slightly sleep hoarse voice. “G’mornin…” he said before squeezing Marco around the waist with the arm that was wrapped around the other man, he couldn’t help the quiet hitch of breath at the others shifting or the way his dick twitched happily in response to it. The way Marco gasped meant he’d noticed it of course, and Jean would usually move away and apologise in an embarrassed tone but today he didn’t.

It was too early and he was still drowsy and Marco was  _ warm _ and he felt good and Jean nudged his erection against Marco ever so lightly as he pressed another butterfly kiss to the man’s nape. “Did y’sleep okay?” Jean mumbled in the same hoarse tone and cleared his throat a bit, not that it would do much because mornings in general didn’t agree with him too well, this one though… this was one of the best mornings he’d had in a very long time. Even despite the bruising on his jaw and the cuts in his mouth and lip and he could even get past the dull sort of numb throb in his wrist that was constantly there unless he moved it—in which case it became more of a hot stabbing sensation that sent shocks of pain through his pinky, ring and middle finger and up his arm.

Marco gave a small shudder and a quiet groan in response to the kiss at his neck and the way Jean nudged against him. He couldn't resist the temptation to roll his hips back slightly in a teasing press against the other's cock. He contemplated the question, clearing his throat before he tried to speak. "Mh… Pretty good, yeah." 

Something occurred to Marco then and he pulled away slightly for a moment, just enough to roll himself over while being careful to not jostle the other and risk hurting his wrist. Facing Jean, he tried to not flinch sympathetically at the way the teen's face looked now that the bruising had set in. He looked like shit; he'd look like shit for days; that was… awful. Marco pushed the thought away for the moment, focusing his thoughts instead on his original reason for rolling over. He couldn't help pressing a kiss to Jean's cheek instead with a small grin. "Hey… guess what? Happy birthday, Jean." 

Jean gasped a little more loudly as Marco teased his erection with a roll of hips that made the teen twitch with surprised pleasure. He was pleased to hear that the other man had slept ok, frowning when Marco pulled away but his expression easing when he saw it was just to Marco could roll over. He watched the way Marco inspected his face and resisted the urge to cover it with his good hand because he was sure it looked horrible, but then Marco kissed his cheek and Jean smiled.

“Ah…” Jean blinked with a surprised look on his face which soon turned into a blush. “I-… I forgot…” He smiled at Marco. “Thank you…” But then he remembered that his  _ birth _ day may have been completely unwanted in the first place—no not may have…  _ was _ . His brow twitched down for a moment before Jean forcefully made his content expression remain plastered to his face. He  _ was _ happy, because he was here with Marco and he was  _ free _ and he could just live without being threatened and told what to do now… right? And he could finally… finally… 

Jean's light blush turned into a full on crimson colour as he realised that the barrier that had been effectively blocking any  _ penetration _ was completely gone now. He glanced at Marco for a second before looking away, shyness radiating from him and the tent in his pants  _ throbbing _ with renewed impatience and maybe Jean should excuse himself until he’d calmed down because boy was it hot in here all of a sudden.

Marco grinned in reply to the thanks, admiring the flush on Jean's cheeks. His grin faltered slightly when he saw how the other's brow quirked downwards. But when the younger man pushed through it without mentioning it, Marco opted to not say anything either. Jean could bring up whatever it was if he wanted to, but Marco wouldn't push. 

Then Jean was blushing darkly all of a sudden and glancing away and Marco quirked a brow. He put together the connection between his words, their implications, and Jean's blush a bit slower than he would have if he hadn't still been barely-awake. But when he did, Marco bit his lip slightly. He reached up, letting his hand rest gently on the other's upper arm. "I… this… it… it doesn't have to… change anything or anything. I mean… yeah we  _ can _ do… other stuff now but… we don't have to if you don't want to or if you're not sure or whatever. What we've done is… is fine. O-or we could. Whichever. Just… don't feel like you have to. It's whatever makes you comfortable. …Okay?" He stumbled through his words slightly, brain still feeling like it was turning a few gears too slow to really process conversation properly. 

The hand on his arm was a reassuring and warm weight but Jean still couldn’t look at Marco as the other man talked, he hated how immensely bashful the thought made him but then Marco was saying they didn’t  _ have to _ and he  _ knew  _ why the other man was reassuring him but oh did he have it so wrong. “Marco…” Jean moved his good hand up to grasp Marco’s where it rested on the teen's arm and finally turned his gaze upon the freckled man.

“I… I  _ want _ to. So bad it drives me nuts sometimes a-and I didn’t push it with you because it was the line  _ you _ set for your own sanity a-and I respect that b-but now that’s… it’s… you… don’t still feel weird about it… do you?” He asked, sounding unsure. After all it was just a night. Jean still looked the same and acted the same and he worried Marco would just see him as too young for months yet. “I… I  _ want _ to do it all the way. I’ve wanted to for a couple of months at  _ least _ if not from the v-very start. Of course I’m nervous… T-that’s normal right? It’s my first time… but I  _ wanna _ …” He fumbled over his words, voice quiet. “M-maybe not right  _ now _ c-cuz I haven’t even pee’d yet o-or brushed my teeth- ah… I don’t even have anything… n-no what I mean is… We haven’t even kissed yet s-since valentine's day and I … I dun wanna do it if you don’t wanna kiss me… s-so maybe when my face is less gross.” His voice got quieter and smaller as he carried on and then he lapsed into silence.

Marco's eyes had snapped over to meet Jean's when he felt the touch against his hand. He listened quietly as the younger man spoke, expressing his worries that Marco would still feel uncomfortable about it and reinforcing that he did want to before devolving into muttered awkward fumbling. He  _ was _ relieved to hear that Jean did actually want to. But the teen's worries were also so hilariously unfounded. Marco wanted to, of course he did. He wondered how Jean could doubt that in any way given how obviously he'd struggled to stick to that line he'd drawn. And how much that line had already been eroded. 

"…I'd kiss you right now if I wasn't worried about splitting that lip of yours open again, honestly. Sure, your face is a little… messed up right now, but you're still  _ you _ and I've… always had trouble keeping my hands off you. So I don't mind at all." Marco gave a little laugh. "As for if I feel 'weird' about it… I mean… honestly… on the one hand… a little, sure, I've spent months now thinking of you as off-limits in that… way. But… on the other hand… I've  _ wanted to _ for  _ so _ long. And it's taken  _ so much _ to hold back this long and… There's no reason  _ to _ wait anymore. And… I don't  _ want _ to wait anymore. I… I want you." He paused for a moment before adding hastily. "I-I mean obviously aside from like… peeing and brushing teeth and all that a-and if you wanna wait because of your wrist or your face or whatever that's fine. But I just mean… I'm… I'm fine with it whenever you are." His cheeks felt hot. It was  _ awkward _ to discuss this so… logically. Groaned admissions of what one wanted to do in the heat of the moment and a frank discussion of it in a nonsexual context were  _ very _ different. 

Jean would have chewed on his lip if not for the way it was swollen, Marco’s words reassured him and made his want intensify to something more akin to  _ need _ . He loved the way Marco was blushing by the end of it, even the awkward posture of the other man was endearing and Jean leaned up on his elbow—careful to not put pressure on his wrist too—and leaned in close to Marco’s face. “You dun wanna split it open… so it’s ok if I do it gently right?” he whispered, waiting only a heartbeat before leaning in and giving the barest brush of his lips against Marco’s. That much didn’t hurt at all, and before pulling away he pressed a little bit harder and delighted in finally being able to kiss the man he loved.

Marco's breath stilled when Jean leaned in close, the blush on his cheeks intensifying for no decent reason. And then the younger man was kissing him, just the lightest kiss, and Marco melted into a sigh. It took all he had to not press back harder, cautious to not aggravate Jean's injury. He hadn't been able to kiss the other man in  _ months _ and it was both thrilling and just a relief. "I… y-yeah…" Marco muttered his dazed reply to the question about kissing him a bit belatedly but with a small grin tugging at his lips. 

“Do you have any spare toothbrushes? … uh… weird question I know but … I wanna m-make love… and there’s no way I’mma do it with morning breath.” Jean's statement was both humorous and serious because Jean couldn’t say ‘make love’ so easily without feeling like he’d die from blushing, the joke tacked to the end made it less embarrassing. “A-and… I dunno if I need to do anything else… to prepare l-like washing… or… I dunno… I… I need you though Marco.” Looking into Marco’s eyes as he said it, Jean felt like he could get lost in them, his heart fluttering.

Blushing darker at the reason  _ why _ Jean was asking about a toothbrush, Marco almost wanted to slap himself for acting so  _ skittish _ about the whole thing. Still, he chuckled slightly at the comment, biting his lip. However, the younger man's continued words had him blushing darker, a small awkward and incoherent stammer escaping him as he tried to reply. "I… uhm. I… t-toothbrush yes, uhm b-by the towels there's like a m-multipack thing? But uhm… I mean for like… p-preparing a-as long as you d-don't need to like… go to the bathroom or something then you should be okay… B-but like… going to the bathroom and having a shower c-can't hurt either? And it c-can like… relax you or whatever? I don't know." He'd needed to look away from Jean's gaze about halfway through his response as it was but when he was done, he brought a hand up, splaying it across his face and closing his eyes with a small miserable groan. He'd never had to explain the  _ mechanics _ of this before and he found it squashed any suave attitude he could have had about the whole thing. Not to mention this was  _ Jean _ who he'd been  _ wanting _ to have sex with and  _ waiting _ to have sex with and he felt a strike of fear over the idea that he might in some way make the experience… disappointing somehow. "Fuck this is so awkward to talk about, I'm sorry." 

Jean nodded as Marco told him there were toothbrushes by the area the towels were kept in. The way the other man was stumbling over his words made Jean wonder if he’d gotten the wrong end of the stick when he’d assumed Marco had actually done it… Hadn’t he asked that before? Or had he just thought about asking? Jean sat up when Marco finished talking, looking down at the other man and smiling bashfully. “Huh, here I thought you knew what you were doing all this time.” He teased the other man, trying to lift the awkwardness because he didn’t want it to linger and ruin what was  _ hopefully _ to come. “I’ll be back in a few, then.” Jean said softly, swinging his leg over Marco and straddling him for a moment as he leaned down to press another feather light kiss to the other man’s lips before getting out of the bed and walking out into the bathroom. 

Marco only huffed in response to Jean's teasing. But still it did serve to dispel some of his awkwardness and hesitation. "Big difference doing it to talking about doing it." He gasped softly when Jean suddenly moved to straddle him, melting slightly into the gentle kiss with a small grin that lingered even once he pulled away and was gone. 

Jean's face was red again, heart hammering in his chest and his hands trembling slightly as he found a toothbrush and brushed his teeth, being careful not to catch the wounded inside of his cheek. When he put it back—this time in the place where Marco’s own toothbrush was—Jean had to pause for a moment because there was something about seeing  _ both _ toothbrushes there that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Jean shed his clothes and his brace next, went for a much needed pee now that his erection was barely there (but still present) and then he stepped in the shower again. This time he was quick to wash, paying what he thought was probably a weird amount of attention on washing his lower body and then making sure  _ all _ of the soap was washed away before he got out and wrapped a towel around himself. The teen put the wrist brace back on with a bit of fumbling and then slowly made his way back to the bedroom, his breath already coming slightly quicker with the tangle of nerves and anticipation coiling throughout him.

Waiting only a moment to be sure Jean was gone, Marco sat up and stretched finally before tugging off his shirt, leaving him in only the boxers he'd slept in. He moved quickly and efficiently, fishing around in his nightstand drawer before pulling out his bottle of lube. Contemplating for only a moment, he pulled out a few coloured condoms as well. For something to do with his time, he busied himself arranging them into a small quasi-rainbow around the lube bottle. It was for no real reason other than a simple 'why not' and making things seem  _ artsy _ helped calm his nerves. Satisfied, Marco sat back down on the bed and waited, perching himself in the middle of it and alone with his thoughts for a moment. This was… this was happening. Finally. Marco's heart raced slightly with anticipation and a slight hint of anxiety. It was… strange. He could sleep with someone he didn't know well and it meant next to nothing. But this… It was too long-awaited to not be… monumental in its own way. 

Walking back into the room Jean stopped at the side of the bed and looked down at his feet, good hand fidgeting with the edge of the towel that was snug against his hips as he moved his gaze up to Marco’s. “I… I did it… so… mnh…” He  _ knew _ that he was blushing from his head to his chest by this point, but he still tugged the towel and let it drop to the floor leaving him naked aside from the brace around his wrist.

Marco let out a long breath when Jean walked back into the room, letting his eyes travel from the teen's face, down across his chest and stomach, before pausing at the teasing barrier of the towel. He noted the deep blush on his boyfriend's features with fondness. If Marco thought  _ he _ was nervous, he knew the younger man must feel it several times over. But then Jean was looking at him, seeming apprehensive but determined, and dropping the towel and the freckled man had to wonder briefly how in the hell he'd managed to wait so long. 

Marco scooted to the edge of the bed, dropping his legs to the floor on either side of Jean's. He looked up at the other man's face as he brought his hands up slowly to boney hips before moving his hands upward, careful to move them forward to Jean's stomach rather than moving up his sides. He leaned in, pressing a few soft kisses to his boyfriend's chest and stomach as his fingers moved slowly up, fingers brushing a bit firmer across his nipples, up to Jean's shoulders before moving down his arms slowly. "…You know you can tell me to stop whenever, right? But just… try to relax." His kisses turned to small nips. 

Jean watched Marco move to the edge of the bed and felt like his own legs were  _ trembling _ which was stupid, they’d done plenty of sexual things. His breath hitched at the first touch of Marco’s hands on his hips, watching the path of those hands as they moved up his body and closing his eyes as his nipples were brushed and there was a kiss to his stomach. “A-ah…” The sound was quiet and small but very much one of pleasure as his dick began to twitch with interest already. 

“I… I won’t wanna stop… so please…  _ I need you _ …” Jean whispered the words, full of emotion and just a bit pleading as he lifted his hands and let his injured one rest on Marco’s shoulder whilst the other gently raked back through the other man’s hair. “J-just… be gentle…” He would have blushed more if it were humanly possible, but as it was he was already close to beet red in his face and his dick was beginning to leech the rest of the blood in his body away as it began to harden with Marco’s soft touches and the way he was looking at Jean and  _ god _ what they were going to  _ do _ .   


The older of the two couldn't help trembling slightly at the  _ way _ Jean said he  _ needed _ him. It sounded so good in that pleading tone. Marco rested his temple against the other man's stomach briefly at the fingers running through his hair, a soft groan slipping past his lips. "…Of course." His words were earnest. As if there was any other way. As if he could be anything  _ other _ than gentle with the younger man in this context. 

Placing one last kiss against his stomach, Marco's hands moved again, coming to rest on the globes of Jean's ass and giving a brief squeeze. He debated briefly just hauling Jean onto the bed with him. And in any other context, he might have. But as it was, he dropped one hand to his side as he moved towards the center of the bed, bringing his other hand up to lightly grab the hand Jean had in his hair for a moment as he gave him a small tug towards getting onto the bed. Once he had the younger man laid out with bent knees, Marco moved quickly to nestle himself between Jean's legs. He left a soft, careful kiss against wounded lips. Then another to the uninjured side of the blond's jaw. Then a kiss that was more of a nip to his neck. Then a kiss shortly below it. Then another nip to his collarbone and another kiss below that. Then Marco was nipping and kissing a trail down the middle of Jean's chest. 

“Mnh..” Jean’s hips twitched back into the hands grabbing at his rear, watching Marco kiss his stomach and feeling his erection growing slowly but steadily. When the other man moved back and tugged at his good hand Jean climbed onto the bed and lie down as directed with trembling breaths and his hands up half covering his face because even though they had done a lot of things up until now, this was completely different and  _ new _ . He moved his hands out of the way so Marco could kiss him, dropping one to the bed as the other man kissed down that side of his jaw and chest making the teen groan softly and arch into it.

Marco paused his trail to lave his tongue across each rosy nipple before nipping at those as well and continuing on his path. When he reached Jean's navel, Marco paused, flicking his tongue across it briefly before sitting up and reaching to snatch the lube. He gave the fingers of his right hand a generous slick coating, warming up the substance against his skin. And then it was back to the alternating kisses and nips, moving off to Jean's right hip and slightly down his thigh before moving inwards. Switching entirely to kisses as he moved inward across Jean's hip, Marco looked up towards the the younger man's face as he moved his fingers to slip between his asscheeks. His pulse hammered in his chest as he carefully and probingly rubbed the pad of one slick finger against the tight rim of Jean's ass. This was happening. "Remember… Just relax. I'll take care of you." He massaged at the ring of muscle in slow circles as he placed a kiss against the other man's balls. Marco licked slowly up the underside of Jean's cock with a flattened tongue as he slipped the slick digit in just to the first knuckle before pausing, eyes never looking away from the teen's face.

“A-ah… Marco…” His breath hitched as his nipples were teased with Marco’s mouth and his dick twitched hard and heavy between his legs as the kisses dropped lower, the lick to his belly button a weird mix of arousing and ticklish. When Marco moved back to get the lube and put it on his hands, Jean felt his stomach tense slightly and a pleasant but nervous twist in his gut. This was it, they were really going to do it, Marco was really going to be inside him. Jean couldn’t help the loud groan as Marco moved back to kiss along his hip and press slick fingers between his cheeks, the feeling against his ass not too different from the tongue  _ yet _ and as Marco told him to relax Jean gave a slightly jerky nod. He really tried to, as much as humanly possible given the situation.

“Nhh- fuck..” The kiss to his balls and the lick to the underside of his cock felt so good, the finger pressing into him was  _ weird _ but didn’t even ache and Jean watched Marco, who was watching him. Letting his mouth fall open just a bit Jean began to breathe through it slightly heavier, cock already beginning to leak in his excitement and  _ watching _ the stringy, clear fluid dripping from his dick when Marco was  _ right there _ with a finger just barely in his ass made Jean’s hands fist in the sheets and his pelvis twitch in a small thrust downward. “I… I’m ok… m-more… Marco…” Jean licked his lips—careful of the split on the right side of the lower one.

Marco was careful to watch every reaction in Jean's face and body language. He savoured the way the younger man groaned and trembled under his touch, the way his breaths came quicker, the way his hands fisted in the sheets, his cock so wonderfully hard and leaking already. He couldn't help the slight pleased smirk that played across his features as Jean looked back at him. Even with the marks on his face, like this, flushed and breathing just a bit heavy, anticipation obvious in his expression, Jean was  _ hot _ as fuck. 

At the encouragement, Marco gave a little shuddering groan. In one easy motion, he moved his hand forward, pressing his slick finger in fully. He bit his lip around another small pleased groan at the sensation of Jean's ass hot and tight around his digit. God, he wanted to fuck him already, wanted the tight heat enveloping his cock rather than just his finger. He paused for a long moment before starting to move. As he licked another languid trail up the underside of the other man's cock, Marco slowly drew his finger back. Smirk firmly in place, he swirled his tongue across the head of Jean's cock as he pressed his finger back in. A pleased groan fell from his lips at the heady flavour of the precum oozing freely from the other man. This time he didn't pause, starting a slow but steady pace of movements, slick finger slipping in and out smoothly. It was only one finger and he knew it wouldn't take any time at all for Jean to adjust to it. But he wanted to get the younger man used to the sensation of movement and not tensing at it. After a few more steady motions, he adjusted the position of his wrist slightly and when his finger slipped back in, a second finger slipped in alongside it, slow and easy, stilling for a moment when he could go no further to watch the other man's reactions. 

Jean shivered pleasantly at the way that smirk looked upon Marco’s features, mouth opening a bit more as the other man pushed his finger fully inside and Jean’s eyes shut half way. He was actually a bit quieter than usual, concentrating on the feeling and trying not to tense up, so the only sounds he was making were small gasps punctuating his heavy breaths and the odd moan when—like now—Marco licked his erection. “A-ah f-feels…  _ good… _ ” Jean spread his legs a bit more and arched slightly when Marco moved his finger, thrusting it into him and twirling his tongue around Jean’s cock. It was strange and surreal and a little bit awkward for the teen, but it was  _ good _ right now, the finger felt nice and even the  _ thought _ of Marco being inside him like this made him gasp loudly.

“G-good… mnh… ha!” Then Marco added a second finger and Jean threw his head back because fuck that was so hot and he could actually feel the  _ stretch _ now but it still didn’t hurt, the lubricant and care Marco was taking preventing it. He couldn’t help the way his body tensed around the intrusion, twitching slightly as Jean’s chest rose and fell at a quickened pace. Jean unclenched his good hand from the sheets and moved it to grip Marco’s hair, tugging on it and pushing his hips own against the fingers inside him almost impatiently. “G-god… d-don’t stop moving… Marco i-it actually… f-feels so good… right now mnh.” As he spoke Jean moved his head so his chin was resting against his collarbones again, pupils blown as he panted through his mouth and looked directly into Marco’s eyes.

Marco watched with rapt attention to the way Jean threw his head back at the sensation, the way he tensed around his fingers. The fingers tugging at Marco's hair and the way Jean was pressing against his fingers inside of him made the freckled man moan slightly. But it was the  _ look _ in Jean's eyes when he tipped his head back down and looked him right in the eyes that drew out an absolutely filthy groan from Marco's throat as his dedication to a slow and steady pace faltered. " _ Fuck _ you look so good right now… So hot…" 

Not needing more prompting, Marco started to move his fingers in earnest. He started with long, slow movements of his fingers in and out of the other man's ass. "God… I fucking love your ass… So hot and tight…" Marco gave a small purr to his words as he moved to lick up the side of Jean's cock as he moved. His own cock was painfully hard with impatience and need, straining at the fabric of his boxers and drawing out small sounds from him any time he moved his hips, fabric rubbing him teasingly. But he forced himself to remain patient. He wasn't going to rush this, not now. He would do this  _ right _ . 

Still, Marco's movements grew faster and harder, position and angle shifting slightly as he fucked the smaller man on his fingers. After a short time, the older of the two added another level of movement when he started scissoring his fingers each time he pulled his fingers back, stretching Jean further slowly and working him up for when he added a third finger. Marco slowed his pace as he added the third finger, working it in slowly and with several short pauses for the tensing and clenching of the teen's body. He wrapped his lips around the head of Jean's cock with a little suck as his tongue moved across it, hoping to distract from any discomfort. 

Jean licked his lips again and the blush that had eased a little intensified as Marco talked about his ass being hot and tight and  _ oh god _ it felt so good, he couldn’t help lifting his injured hand and covering part of his face in embarrassment at the statement though. “Mmarcoh…” He moaned, slightly slurred around a gasp. “A-h ff-uck!” Jean pressed his toes into the bed and lifted his hips slightly to give Marco more room, legs still trembling though now with both pleasure  _ and  _ nerves.

There was an odd sort of sensation every few thrusts of the other man’s fingers as he changed his angle, just brushing on the edge of something that Jean couldn’t quite describe but made him jolt with a more intense, strange pleasure. When Marco added the third finger Jean  _ did _ feel the tightness and slight discomfort, though not any pain. The mouth on his cock was a wonderful if not completely effective distraction and Jean watched with glazed eyes, brows drawn down and mouth now hanging wide around stilted moans and stutters of panting breaths. “T-tight… mnh… hahh ngh..” Jean’s hand in Marco’s hair tightened and the teen moved his brace wrapped arm down at the same time as he lifted a leg up and outwards, wrapping his arm around the underside of his knee to support it and trying to open himself up more for the intrusion.

Jean's reactions, from his panting moans to the glazed look in his eyes, had Marco shuddering slightly, loving the way the teen could come undone so completely. The tightening of the grip in his hair pulled out a long groan from Marco's lips against Jean's cock, forcing him to shut his eyes for a brief moment. He did his best to keep his movements slow and steady, slight tremors running through him with how much he just honestly wanted to ravish the other man and possibly fuck him through the mattress. 

He wouldn’t admit it right now, not in the heat of the moment when Marco might stop, but Jean was somewhat scared as he felt more of the ache and the hand that was in Marco’s hair trembled. Jean let go of the other man’s hair abruptly and dropped his hand down to find the other man’s free one, pawing at it in an attempt to lace their fingers together in a tight hold to help calm himself.

When Jean suddenly let go of the grip in his hair and was instead pawing at his hand, Marco linked their fingers together tightly in a reassuring grip. The tension in Jean's body was obvious and entirely understandable. Marco moved his mouth from the head of Jean's cock to peppering small kisses and slight nuzzling motions up and down the other's inner thigh, continuing the slow thrusting movements of his fingers. "It's okay… You're doing fine… Relax… D'you want me to keep going? Or slow down? Or stop? Talk to me…" As he spoke his quiet reassurances, he moved his fingers more slowly, probing his fingertips in small circular motions and adjusting his angle just slightly in an attempt to brush the other's prostate more directly. 

Jean was thankful when Marco held his hand tightly, the loss of the mouth on his erection making him whimper softly but the kisses and nuzzling against his thigh were almost as pleasant and Jean shook his head as Marco spoke, replying not long after. “A- don’t.. sto..stop. D-don’t slow down I want.. you inside m-me aha!” Jean had been talking through Marco’s gentle motions when that ‘just there’ sensation suddenly spiked into a more intense feeling and Jean’s body jerked, his eyes widening and his head tipping back again as a cracked moan escaped the teen. The sensation made his cock throb and spew out a thick load of precum all at once and for a moment Jean thought he’d cum… or peed a bit… or both.

He made a strangled sound of embarrassment, unable to make himself look back down at Marco this time as he threw his free arm across his eyes. “Uah- T-that felt… s-so weird.. s-so good.. so  _ good… Marco…! _ ” Jean whimpered again and squeezed Marco’s hand more tightly, ignoring the discomfort of his tight ring in favour of seeking at that sensation again.

Marco grinned wolfishly when his movements paid off. The broken moan and way the teen's body jerked were evidence of that. His eyes widened slightly at the volume of precum that spewed from Jean's cock, biting his lip with a small pleased groan as his eyes rolled up momentarily. At the other man's words, Marco chuckled, giving a small nip to the patch of thigh closest to his mouth. "Mmh… Good… That's better then…" 

Squeezing Jean's hand back tighter for a moment, he repeated the motion of the fingers inside the younger man a few more times. Moving back to slow thrusts, he made sure to curl his fingers right against that spot as he picked up the pace of his movements. Slowly, he could feel Jean's muscles yielding to the stretch and relaxing around his fingers, the tightness subsiding just slightly from crushing to gripping around each movement. "I think… I think you're as ready as you're going to get… What do you think…?" Marco kissed at Jean's hip, stilling the movement of his hand for a moment. "Wanna go for it…?" He had no idea how much longer the other man would  _ last _ but god he didn't  _ care _ if it was minutes or seconds as long as he got to at least be  _ inside _ him. 

“MMn-mh!” Jean clenched his jaw, ignoring the ache the action caused, as Marco repeated the action and the teen felt like he was going to explode, it made his toes curl and the leg that was still in the air—now not held by his arm since that was flung across his face—jolted harshly. “A-AH M-Marco w-waaah s-so… much… ugh… ah!” He sobbed the words out on a moan and felt his breath catch at Marco’s words about being ready. 

“O-oh… god…” Jean took his hand away from his face and finally looked down at Marco, an expression of sheer desperation and abandon glazing his features. “H-hurry…  _ f-fuck me…”  _ Jean felt so on edge, so electrified and sensitised and Marco was finally going to be  _ inside him _ …  _ properly. _ Jean arched his back and pressed himself down hard onto the fingers inside him with a whine before tugging upwards on the hand that he was holding belonging to the other man. “P- _ please _ !”

Marco met the other man's gaze and couldn't help a shudder at the desperate and needy look on his face. Hearing Jean demanding— _ pleading _ for Marco to fuck him drew out a small moan from the freckled man.  _ God _ he wanted to so badly. He had for so long. The way the teen pressed back onto his fingers and the hand tugging on his other hand where their fingers were linked spurred him into action. He pulled back slightly, slipping his fingers out of Jean's ass and all but crawling up his body to leave a firm but gentle kiss against his lips, careful of the injury. "…Okay then." 

Sitting up on his knees and reaching out, Marco snagged a condom off the nightstand, the clear plastic on the back showing a deep green hue. He tore the packet open—admittedly with a bit of hassle from his lube-slick hand—and was rolling it on without a second thought before pausing for a moment. "Oh I uhm… Assumed you wanna use a rubber, right? I mean… you don't have anything, obviously. And I know I don't. S-so… we could  _ not _ I guess… but… I don't know if you wanna be shitting cum later either so… up to you." Marco cracked an awkward grin and a small half-laugh. 

Jean gave a broken whimper when Marco moved and took his fingers away, the strange feeling of emptiness making him squirm a little and he momentarily wondered if he’d get tense down there again without the intrusion. Jean kissed Marco back when the other man pressed gently against his lips and he watched with anxious and impatient anticipation as the other man grabbed a condom and fumbled to undo it before rolling it down his erection. 

Jean felt a weird mix of disappointment and frustration about it, but then Marco was asking him if he  _ wanted _ Marco to use it, and whilst the comment about shitting cum made him snort and ruined the atmosphere a little bit Jean found it weirdly cute and so like Marco. Leaning on the elbow of his injured wrist—being careful not to add pressure where it hurt—Jean leaned forwards and wordlessly wrapped his hand around Marco’s cock and the hand rolling the condom down. “Dun wanna…” He mumbled breathlessly before tugging the barrier back off so Marco was bare once more. “W-wanna feel you…” He was blushing intensely again as he wrapped his hand around Marco’s dick and gave it a couple of firm strokes before flopping back down onto his back. “S-so… just… Marco…  _ please _ !”

Marco blinked when Jean carefully leaned forward and wrapped his hand around him. He wasn't entirely sure what the other man was doing at first and groaned slightly at the unexpected contact before gasping as the condom was tugged back off. "O-oh okay…" Marco half-stumbled over his words, his cock giving an interested throb in Jean's grip at the idea. The firm strokes made his eyes roll back slightly, giving a moan. "Fuck… Jean…" 

It was obvious neither of them wanted to wait anymore. Marco fumbled for the lube, giving his length a copious coating before snapping it shut and tossing it to the side. A small hiss escaped him at the cold sensation of the substance. He debated for a moment asking Jean to roll onto his stomach given that it was usually easier to relax that way but decided against it. He wanted to be able to see the other man's face. Instead, he fitted himself closer between Jean's legs, spreading them easily to the sides. Letting out a shaky breath, Marco supported himself with his right hand at the other man's side as he positioned himself properly with his other hand, the head of his cock pressing hard and slick against the rim of Jean's ass. "…Okay just… breathe. And don't tense." Hesitating for a short moment longer, the freckled man pushed forward slowly. He let out a moan at the tight heat surrounding him, pausing to let the teen adjust once the head of his cock was in, moving the hand he'd had gripped around himself to lace his fingers with Jean's instead, offering reassurance. "Just… just say when." 

Jean watched as Marco smothered his cock with lube and easily spread his legs wider when coaxed to, the feeling of Marco’s erection pressing against him made his pulse race and his heart tremble with anticipation and anxiety and then the other man was telling him to breathe and not tense and he was pushing forwards. Jean gasped and did his best not to tense up, though he did slightly, sucking in a deep breath and managing to quickly make himself relax around the intrusion.

It felt  _ bigger _ than the three fingers had and his eyes watered slightly, both with the strange dichotomy of pleasure / discomfort and also with how big of a moment in his life this was for him. “Ugh- B-big… ah…” Jean wanted to cover his face but instead settled for squeezing Marco’s hand tightly and lifting his legs to wrap around the other man’s hips. “I-it’s… it’s ok so… a-all the way… I need—you uh.” A tremble shook his body and Jean wiggled his hips up and down slightly in an attempt to both get his body to open up more easily and to drive Marco deeper. 

Marco squeezed Jean's hand in return, groaning slightly when the other's movement of his legs made him tense slightly around the older man's cock. "…Okay." He gasped slightly when the teen wiggled his hips, letting out a shaky half-moan. That was enough prompting and delay, he decided. Marco started to pushed forward slowly, a trembling moan escaping him as his length was enveloped by the tight head of the other man's ass. His thighs trembled with the effort of not just thrusting forwards in one quick motion, forcing himself to move at a steady pace and let Jean get used to it. 

Low moans escaped from Marco's lips as he progressed and he had to shut his eyes briefly, forcing them open again after a moment. He stilled only when he was fully inside of Jean, breaths coming in shallow pants. "Ngh… F-fuck… s-so tigh-t." He was… inside Jean. He was fucking Jean. After all the anticipation and waiting and drama, they'd finally gotten there. And  _ fuck _ did the teen's ass feel good, gripping tight around his cock. 

Jean tried not to hold his breath as Marco pushed in more, failing more often than not because the feeling was intense and tight and he felt so full that it made him almost want to squirm and yet it felt  _ so good _ as well. When Marco was fully inside and muttered around pants how tight Jean was the teenager choked on a deep groan and wrapped his legs more tightly around Marco’s hips.

“I-.. I’m so fu-full…” Jean gasped, feeling like he might break if he was stuffed any deeper—in a  _ good _ sort of way. Jean again wondered if he was masochistic but it was brief before he started to grind his hips down onto Marco’s cock. “I-I love you… hngh- Marco… love you… d-do me… m-move…  _ please move… wa-want you… _ ” Jean wasn’t sure if his body was even ready for movement yet, but in his lust clouded mind he didn’t  _ care _ because it felt  _ good _ and  _ full _ and he just  _ needed _ Marco to move. His cock twitched between them, not flagging at all despite the initial discomfort and Jean whimpered as he bucked his hips trying to get some friction, the feeling of Marco’s cock slipping out of him a little bit making him throw his head back again as he sunk back down as deep as it would go.

"Ngh fuck…" Marco groaned when Jean wrapped his legs around him, shuddering slightly at his comment about being full. And Marco could agree because it certainly  _ felt _ like he was taking up every bit of space. He squeezed the teen's hand a bit tighter when he felt the grinding motion, a breathy moan and a muttered curse escaping from him. He wasn't expecting how  _ desperate _ Jean would be so quickly and when the younger man bucked his hips, sliding up and down on his cock slightly, Marco bit his lip to stifle a harsh moan. 

He couldn't think straight anymore, the only thought on Marco's mind a repeating mantra of  _ Jean _ . He needed to fuck him and he needed it  _ now _ . Marco leaned in, stealing a light kiss from Jean's lips before murmuring against them. "…I love you." He leaned up again and pulled back slowly before thrusting back in in one fluid motion. Then again. And again. "Oh  _ fuck… _ " The smaller man was hot and tight around him and felt  _ so fucking good _ and part of him wondered why the fuck had he ever waited for this when they could have been doing  _ this _ but another part was glad for it because as much anticipation as he'd had was sparking into exhilaration and an odd sense of release with every movement. Marco's movements picked up slightly in both speed and force and he quickly slipped into a fluid pace. Broken moans and grunts escaped from him regularly as his hips rocked back and forth in a slick and steady thrusting movement. "Oh god… Jean… Fuck yes… S'good. Oh  _ god _ ." 

Jean kissed the other man back with a small, breathless sigh and then Marco was saying he loved him and  _ moving _ . “HK- A-ah! F-fucK!” Jean gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn’t  _ pain _ but it was weird, yet all Jean could focus on was how fucking good it felt to finally have Marco moving inside of him, panting and moaning above him. “M-Marco-  _ fuck mnh!” _

Jean lay still for the first few thrusts, trying to breathe and get used to the sensation of being so  _ full _ but then the started to push down to meet Marco’s movements and he felt that thing inside of him being brushed against  _ just right _ and he couldn’t stop the string of moaned curses spewing forth. At the same time his cock was dripping heavily between them, painfully hard and wet and Jean thought he might just cum from his ass alone. “M-Marco… I.. I feel..ah… oh god… w-weird… good…  _ good! I… s-so close uh- fuck. _ ” Jean didn’t want it to end, he wanted it to last longer, feel more.

The teen was sobbing with each moan now, the sensations creeping up his spine strong enough to make his nose and scalp tingle as tears filled his eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks and he couldn’t help releasing Marco’s hand to wrap his own around his cock to get some pressure there. Jean tossed his head to the side and gasped as he started to jerk himself in time with his boyfriend's thrusts. “A-ah Marco! P-lease… oh… fuck… harder… f-feels good… w-want you to… feel this good ah fuck mnh!”

Moaning out when Jean started to meet his thrusts, Marco couldn't help but pick up his pace slightly. Incoherent curses and muttered reassurances fell freely from his lips between harsh pants. He realized distantly that this was the first time in  _ months _ that he'd actually fucked anyone, and the first time in far longer that he'd done it without a condom clinging tightly against his cock. But even still he felt alarmingly  _ sensitive _ and  _ good _ and Jean's ass was so  _ hot _ and his voice was so  _ good _ and his sobbing moans sent sparks of heat across Marco's skin. He didn't think he'd last nearly as long as he normally might. 

Marco couldn't help gazing fondly down at Jean's face for a moment, watching the tears fall down his flushed cheeks and the look of overwhelmed pleasure on his face. When the other man started to stroke himself in time to Marco's thrusts, pleading him to go harder, Marco couldn't even think to refuse. He was close,  _ so _ close, and  _ god _ he wanted to cum, to cum  _ inside _ his boyfriend, while he absolutely railed him into the bed. He adjusted the placement of his arms with only the slightest falter in his pace. And then he was going harder and faster with his new and better leverage as he drove himself closer to that much-needed release. "Oh god… Jean… S-so close… So g-good… Fuck…"

When Marco adjusted his arms and thus his angle, speed, and intensity, Jean choked on air and arched sharply.  _ That _ sort of hurt but not enough to quell his pleasure at all, Jean was far  _ far  _ too gone to register it as anything but an extra sensation and he all but writhed beneath the other man as Marco swore and said he was close and then Jean couldn’t take it any more as his own hand sped up enough to make his arm ache.

“C- _ cumming! AH GOoD! Marco! L-OVE YOU! Fuck- c-cum- NGhhH!”  _ Jean tensed then,  _ hard _ and trembled violently as he shot his load between them. Thick and copious as the younger man twitched and sagged limply to the bed gasping for breath. He felt light headed and weak and so utterly spent that he wasn’t sure he could stay conscious because it was  _ that  _ good, Jean may have even blanked out for just a moment as he sobbed in the last vestiges of pleasure with a voice hoarse from crying out.

Marco all but lost it when Jean came. The spasming vice grip around his cock from Jean's ass as he clenched and relaxed in waves was almost painfully tight but so so  _ good _ . It easily pushed Marco over the edge. Two more half-thrusts and his body seized, hands fisting in the sheets. He couldn't help but clamp his eyes shut as his climax hit him hard, a loud moan being ripped from his throat. "Oh god, J-Jean. Oh  _ GOD, Jean.  _ Oh fuck. Oh god.  _ JEAN! Ngh! FU-CK! _ " Marco Bodt was  _ not _ a religious person. But right then, with Jean's ass clenching so dizzyingly tight around his cock as he came hard into the smaller man, he was  _ certain _ he was having a religious experience. It was just  _ good _ , so good. His hips and abs gave a few small jerky motions as he rode out his orgasm, buried balls-deep in the other man. 

When Marco came inside of him with the loud, gasping moan of his name Jean couldn’t help the soft, barely there whimper as he forced his eyes open to watch the other man’s face as he rode it out. Marco was gorgeous at the best of times but  _ right now _ Jean thought he was looking at the most amazing thing in existence as the other man's eyes closed and his face contorted in ecstasy. 

Pulling out with a low shuddering whine at the oversensitivity of his spent cock, Marco stayed close and panted hard as he tried to catch his breath. The way his arms trembled forced him to collapse from his hands to his elbows, uncaring of the way it brought their bodies together, smearing Jean's cum between them. He left a series of small haphazard kisses across the younger man's lips and cheek. "That… that was… I lo-love you. You… good? You… okay? Oh  _ god _ … that was… wow." His breaths still came short and shallow as he tried to make his words coherent, trailing off with a small ecstatic laugh. Thinking was too hard in that moment. After all this time, the waiting, they'd finally  _ finally _ done it. He only hoped he hadn't been too rough with the teen for his first time but after all that pent up frustration and desire, he couldn't have held back any more than he did. 

As Marco finished and half collapsed above him Jean let his eyes fall shut again, breaths still heavy but levelling out and his body still twitching every so often from the intensity of the experience. Jean kissed Marco back when lips touched his own and sighed softly with satisfaction. “I-I’m ok… I think…I love you too.” Jean nuzzled the side of Marco’s face with the tip of his nose as he tried to concentrate on his pleasure numbed body and take stock. He felt weirdly  _ empty _ in the ass area now and as his body twitched and trembled he could feel the odd sensation of the other man’s semen leaking from him—just slightly. His jaw ached a bit more than it had when he’d woken up but that was understandable considering how much gasping and groaning he’d just done, but other than that and the constant throb of his wrist he felt fine.

Jean shifted his position slightly, muffling an odd noise of surprise as his pelvic area twinged with a sharp but not overwhelming pain. “A-ah… m-maybe just a little sore.” Jean admitted with a bashful smile as he lifted his shaking arms and wrapped them tightly around Marco, choking down a gasp as his wrist twisted and sent a shot of pain through his arm. Still, Jean tightened his hold on Marco and whimpered as he pressed his face against the side of the other man's head.

Marco shuddered slightly at the gentle nuzzling to the side of his face, nerves still sensitive and sparking easily from the light contact. He revelled in the sound of the other man saying he loved him. He felt somewhat relieved when Jean said he was okay before giving a breathy chuckle at the admission that he was sore after all. "That's… pretty normal, at least at first. But… worth it, I hope?" He hoped his question didn't sound as insecure as it felt, but he wanted to be  _ sure _ Jean had enjoyed himself. …And ideally that he'd want to do it again in the future. It still felt a bit surreal after all the build-up and waiting and anticipation, a sense of ecstatic  _ finally _ hanging in the air around them. 

Frowning at the way Jean whimpered when he moved his wrist, the freckled man shifted slightly, returning the hold tightly. "I still really want you to get some x-rays done… Just in case… But… in a few hours is fine too." He paused for a moment. "…Want me to get you anything? Water? Painkillers? Breakfast? …A nap?" 

Jean hummed and smiled against the side of Marco’s head. “Mmh… totally worth it… wanna do it again real soon.” He blushed as he spoke but almost purred with satisfaction after the pain in his wrist subsided. Jean gave a soft grunt of disapproval when Marco mentioned x-rays. “I… mn aren’t you sleepy too?” Jean mumbled, disbelieving that the other man could be anything but tired after such intense activity.

“I… I mean I wanna hug you… but… I’m also kinda thirsty n hungry…” He admitted the latter tentatively, not sure if he’d be able to eat a lot or keep it down, but he felt better than he had in a long,  _ long  _ time right now so he hoped that would make it possible to finish more than he had eaten last night. If anything, when it came to food Jean tended to have periods of time where he stuffed his face with as much as he could stomach, he’d make himself sick with it because he didn’t  _ want  _ to be as skinny as he was. But since valentine's day even eating normally had been a bit of a struggle and Jean hadn’t taken part in any of his sporadic binging behaviours. 

"…Good." Marco felt a relieved smile creep across his face at the confirmation that his boyfriend had no regrets. He laughed slightly at how Jean seemed to be debating the merits of trying to eat versus just clinging onto him. He was just relieved to hear the teen being the one to openly agree to food without Marco having to try to convince him. "Breakfast it is then! …And I mean… I'm a little tired but I'll get through it." He gave a vague approximation of a shrug from his position. 

“Mkay… breakfast…do you have bacon?” Jean asked tentatively, feeling weird asking so much of the other man. Not just about breakfast but somewhere to sleep overnight now he was effectively homeless. Jean wanted to groan at how his mind always seemed to circle back to depressive thoughts even in the most amazing situations and it compounded his self-consciousness.

"Bacon? Sure thing." Marco grinned widely. It was easy enough to see how Jean was starting to spiral down into stress but Marco wasn't sure what else he could do other than try to just reassure him and push the idea that nothing was wrong. Despite having a barely-legal beaten-looking possession-less teenage boyfriend in his apartment. Briefly, Marco wondered if his life could get any weirder but thought better of it, deciding it was best to not throw stones in his glass house. They'd have enough to deal with once the media realized Jean was basically living with him all of a sudden. Wait,  _ was _ Jean living with him now? It… wasn't like he had anywhere else to go that Marco knew of. And he didn't exactly mind the company. 

“Mn, Marco?” The teen started speaking again in a croaky voice. “Am I supposed to get x-rays wearing your pyjama pants? I mean not that I’m complaining b-but if  _ Marco Bodt  _ brings a beat up guy into the hospital obviously wearing men's stuff that’s  _ not _ his… uhm… p-people will… talk and I dun wanna… I mean… your image is… uhm… a-and I dun have a ma-mask…” Jean fumbled over his words nervously, moving to cling to Marco tightly by wrapping his legs around the other man again and shuddering at the wet soreness at his rear. God he was so happy they finally did it… more than that though, he was happy he was able to just  _ be  _  with the other man again.

The question about the clothes Jean had gave Marco pause. "That's… hrm. Well… If… it bothers you, we could always take you shopping first and get something for you to wear? Maybe something that actually  _ fits _ you?" He'd seen enough of Jean's wardrobe to gather that the teen had a habit for picking oversized clothing. He gave a small chuckle at the way the smaller man wrapped around him, unable to resist adding to his words in a light teasing tone as he nuzzled the other. "But I'm not sure if they carry koala sizes." 

“Y-you want me to leave the apartment wearing pyjama pants?” Jean said, sounding skeptical and slightly indignant at the thought. Then something else occurred to him and Jean wiggled out from under Marco with a soft grunt and sat up, glancing at the other man’s feet with a hum. “Uh… hate to say it but I think your feet are like three sizes bigger than mine or something too. A-and I dunno if you noticed but I ran here without shoes.” Jean went to chew his lip out of habit and winced as he bit down on the split in it, luckily though he didn’t re-open the wound.

Marco only quirked a brow at the pajama pants comment. They were clothes, they counted,  _ he _ used to run errands in pajamas when he was tired, lazy, and could still get away with it. "I mean I have sweatpants instead?" He sat up, moving to sit cross-legged when Jean went to wiggle out from under him. The question about shoes made him blanche slightly. In his half-asleep half-panicked state, he  _ hadn't _ really noticed that detail but now he was only wondering how he  _ missed _ it. "Ah…" He paused for a moment. "…Well for the mask issue, I  _ do _ have something for that problem if you still don't want your face to be seen." He'd sort of expected it—anticipated it even. And while he'd hoped Jean would get over it and be fine being seen with him now that he was old enough and his anticipation would be moot, he couldn't exactly fault him for not wanting his face plastered in trash magazines. Particularly given his awkward shyness and anxiety in general. 

“I… I dun want weirdos knowing what I look like… s-so a mask is… is good…” He admitted with a mixture of bashfulness and guilt. Maybe he really should go back home so Marco didn’t have to deal with this, doubt was starting to coil deep in his gut like a cold vice and Jean looked back at the other man with an expression of indecisiveness and guilt. “I- I’m sorry I’m causing so much trouble for you I… I…” He didn’t  _ want  _ to go home. “Sorry…”

Snorting slightly, Marco waved off the guilty expression on Jean's face. "Pff, having thirteen year olds trying to squeeze my ass half the time causes me trouble.  _ You _ are entirely worth any effort it takes. But as for the clothing issue…" He stood and slipped on his boxers, a contemplative look on his face. Coming to a decision, he moved to pat the younger man's knee, leaning over to the nightstand and fishing out a pen and pad of paper, shoving them in Jean's direction. "Sizes. Shoes, pants, shirts, uh… underwear too I guess? Just… make it as legible as you can right now? After breakfast I'll get you some stuff. And we can always return anything that doesn't fit. Problem solved." His tone was extremely matter-of-fact, leaving no real room for question as he turned and walked out of the room with a small wave behind him. He didn't  _ mean _ to be curt but it was practical and  _ damn _ he had to pee. 

“Th-thirteen?” Jean shuddered slightly at the thought, even to him that was obscenely young, how did girls that age  _ know _ about ass grabbing anyway? He couldn’t hide his look of discomfort over the face, nose scrunching slightly as Marco continued speaking. Jean took the pen and paper awkwardly and blinked owlishly up at Marco as he was told to write down his clothing sizes. “Ah… alright…” Jean nodded as Marco left the room quickly, confused until he heard the other man enter the bathroom and he guessed it really was only fair to assume Marco must have needed a pee quite badly considering he hadn’t been yet.

Jean looked down at the paper and did his best to hold the pen in his right hand, if felt odd and he wasn’t sure he was even holding it right but he’d still try. As he wrote he felt an increasing sense of embarrassment and shame over the sizes he was putting down; Top - 85, Pants - 80/85, Shoes - 240. Jean frowned down at the spidery handwriting on the page that was outlining just how much  _ less _ he was than most other guys. At least it was legible, almost neat even.

After making a quick trip into the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth—feeling an odd sort of warmth over the sight of a second toothbrush beside his—he moved out into the kitchen to start on food. Eggs, bacon, and toast were cooked and plated in no time to go with the orange juice he'd poured. Debating for a moment, he moved to clean away the impromptu triage supplies from the night before—deciding to just toss the soiled washcloths—and set the plates and cups on the coffee table. He was  _ very _ relieved to see that Jean hadn't bled on his couch as he called out to the teen. "Jean? Think you can make it out here to eat?" 

When Jean heard his name being called he slipped off of the bed and pulled on the over-sized t-shirt he’d been lent—it was long enough—and stiffly walked out of the room with his hips twitching slightly. He paused half way, pen and pad of paper clutched tightly in his good hand as his face turned a deep red and he let out a small noise that was a mixture of a groan and a whimper as he felt cum dribble down the inside of his thighs. “A-ah- I… I … bathroom…” Jean dropped the pad and pen to the floor and shakily made his way into the bathroom, clenching his sore muscles as much as possible. That was… humiliating.

Marco couldn't help a small snort when Jean scuttled off to the bathroom, not at all surprised. He busied himself tidying up a bit more before setting two neatly wrapped packages on the coffee table as well, one larger and one smaller. He hoped it wasn't too much. But it was really more necessity than anything. At least from how he saw it. Regardless, with that done, he simply settled into the couch and waited. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also check out [Aural Fixations](http://auralfixations.tumblr.com/) for additional tidbits of this fic. And [Hei's Blog](http://heikijin.tumblr.com/) where you can find some cute relevant art. Tracking: "fic: ogwan" on Tumblr.


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